“Sassy” wrote me and asked,
How does one who is 58 almost 59, on the heavier size find someone who would want to go out with her… other than married men?? I do not want to ever get involved with a married man. I’ve been hurt because someone else has stepped in and has taken my man and I don’t ever want to do that to anyone!
Sassy, I don’t know why you think your options are limited to married men, just because you see yourself as heavy. Some single men are looking for slim women, yes, but many prefer women on the curvier side, and still others are looking for an emotional and intellectual connection that isn’t restricted to a particular waist size.
If the problem is, however, that your weight makes you feel unattractive, that might be what’s getting in the way of you attracting the men who interest you. We all have an intuitive sense when someone feels undesirable and self-critical, and that’s not a come-hither quality. Please look at whether you’re happy at your weight. If not, there are ways to change that. (You’ll see on my website that I’ve written several books about fitness and have recommendations of both books and videos for people who would like to get in better shape.) If you are happy the way you are, walk proudly with a swing in your step and a twinkle in your eye, and show the world that you know you’re got a lot to offer.
Since you brought up not wanting to get involved with a married man — there’s a terrific book out now: The Other Woman: 21 Wives and Lovers Talk Openly about Sex,Deception, Love, and Betrayal, edited by Victoria Zackheim. Some of the essays reflect the point of view of the “other woman,” others are the wives suffering through their husbands’ affairs. The book is strong, stark, and honest.