Is this blog one of the top 100 sex blogs?

Unabashed request for you to nominate this blog, Better Than I Ever Expected: Sex and Aging, for “Top 100 Sex Bloggers 2010.”

In 2009, this blog won the ranking of #21– I was truly surprised, because I didn’t even know it had been nominated! It was the only blog dealing with senior sex, and as far as I know, I was the oldest blogger on the list. It was one of the few educational blogs honored — most were erotic blogs.

Right now, nominations are open for 2010, and I’m openly soliciting your nomination. If you’re willing, go to and nominate

It’s the same blog you know as, and both URLS will continue to work. In honor of my new, upcoming book, Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex, I’m shifting focus with the new URL–plus it’s easier to remember.

So if you think the content here is worthwhile, and you’d like more people to know it exists, please add your nomination of at

With much gratitude,


Aging Healthy Names Top 50 Aging and Gerontology Blogs

I’m honored! This blog, Better Than I Ever Expected: Sex and Aging, has been chosen by Aging Healthy as one of  the “Top 50 Aging and Gerontology Blogs” — and it’s the only blog about sexuality on the list! Aging Healthy offers “resources and tidbits on the social and medical aspects of aging.” I’m delighted that ageless sexuality has a place of importance there now.

Welcome to the readers of Aging Healthy who are now visiting this blog for the first time. Please see the “labels” list at the right with links to topics I’ve covered in the past. There’s a lot here!

I hope that all of you who study gerontology and related topics will join me in recognizing how important healthy sexuality is throughout our lives, not just when we’re young. Keeping and nurturing our sex lives can help shape our quality of life in later years.

Thank you, Healthy Aging!

Senior Sex Blog is Educational, not Erotic

Scott said…

Joan, I think that a space that addresses senior sex is great. However, what I see are a number of posts that talk about sex toys and online dating sites and some blogs, but not, you know, actual sex. And I understand your loss, but also get the impression that you are not actually having sex, at least not with another person. Maybe I’m wrong and I didn’t go back far enough in your blog, but I think it begs the question of how much credibility you have in the area.

When I got this comment from reader Scott on my post about my Top Sex Bloggers award, I laughed and gave him a light-hearted response. Some of my readers urged me to answer him with more explanation of what I’m doing and why.

not, you know, actual sex

“Actual sex”? First, I’d like to get us away from the idea that “actual sex” means intercourse. “Actual sex,” in my view, especially as I write for and learn from other seniors and elders, means sexual expression in whatever form that takes. For example:

Many of my readers are single now, through widowhood, divorce, break-up, or choice, and are having sex solo. One of my missions is to help these readers understand how sex toys can enhance this experience and may even mean the difference between achieving that elusive orgasm or not. Hence all the sex toy reviews.

Many of my readers are dating or ready to date and know that options have changed and the “rules” upturned since they last dated, which might have been 40 years ago! I want to encourage, educate, and, I hope, entertain readers about DWO: Dating While Old(er).

Many of my readers are coupled, but their sex lives have been altered by age, illness, medications, and myriad emotions that interfere with sexual experience and/or satisfaction. I want to offer resources to enourage readers to express their sexuality and keep their intimacy strong, even when life throws out obstacles.

Many of my readers are still having great sex at age 60, 70, 80+, and I want to share their stories — and advice — here and in my books.

I use this blog for all of the above, plus answering reader questions, reviewing books, and showcasing experts in the growing field of sex and aging.

To answer Scott’s last concern directly, no, I am not having sex with another person at this time of my life. Okay, it’s out there.

However, even when my beloved Robert was alive and vital and we were having amazing sex, my blog wasn’t about recounting our sexual intimacies for the voyeuristic enjoyment of my readers. Plenty of other blogs do that — many of them are on the top 100 list with me. My blog is educational, not erotic. I consider myself an advocate for ageless sexuality and a sex educator in that new arena. Credibility? I’ve got it.

I hope this answers Scott and others who might have those questions, also. Readers, I hope you’ll comment!

Top 100 Sex Bloggers of 2009

I just discovered that I’ve been chosen one of the top 100 sex bloggers by Between My Sheets and 13 other judges! I’m ranked number 21, pretty amazing when just a few years ago, nobody talked about senior/elder sex! See all 100 here, and be sure to visit the sites of the judges, too.

I’m about to turn 66 (tomorrow), and I’ll bet I’m the oldest sex blogger on the list, as well as, perhaps, the only one who uses her/his real name!

It’s funny, in a way, how these things work out. During my first year after Robert’s death, a time of extreme grieving, I couldn’t focus well enough to work on anything that demanded more than an hour of concentration at a time.

I was still interested in helping the readers who wrote me with questions (we help ourselves by helping others, I firmly believe), so my blog was the perfect outlet. It gained momentum as you, its readers, recognized its value. I put more time and energy into my blog in 2009 than its first four years combined. I consider my #21 ranking among the Top 100 Sex Bloggers an honor!

Thank you, Between My Sheets, judges, and readers!