Sex Toys for Older Men

By Joan Price | May 4, 2010 |
Oh, no! I was writing the Sex Toys chapter of my new book, Naked at Our Age, filled with wonderful stories and lively, helpful tips, when I realized that all the advice addressed women! I knew better than that. Sex toys can be wonderful pleasure assists for men, too, especially men our age.I contacted the best person for the job — Charlie Glickman, PhD, Education Program Manager at Good Vibrations. Within a day, he had written “Sex Toys for Older Men” and sent it to me. What a guy. He knows his toys, and he knows the needs they fill.

We agreed that this information is too important to keep it under wraps until Naked at Our Age comes out in Spring 2011, so we’re rushing it out to those of you who can use it. “Sex Toys for Older Men” was published first in Good Vibrations Magazine, then here, with Charlie’s permission.

Sex Toys for Older Men
By Dr. Charlie Glickman

We’ve been getting some inquiries lately about sex toys for older men. I think it’s great when guys start exploring their sex toy options, and there are plenty to choose from.

One of the most common questions I hear from older men is “can a cock ring make my erection harder?” And the answer is “sort of.” Cock rings work by trapping blood in the penis, so they sometimes make one’s erection firmer or a bit larger while wearing it. Many men like the squeezing sensation that cock rings provide and they can also make orgasms more intense. Some men find that rings make them take longer to orgasm and others find that the extra sensations make it happen sooner, so you’ll need to experiment. Cock rings can be worn during solo sex or with a partner- if you want to use it during penetrative sex, you may need to move the snaps to the side so they don’t irritate your partner. And it’s worth noting that if you’re concerned about erection difficulties, it’s worth getting checked out by a sex-positive doctor first. With some medical conditions, cock rings can actually cause damage! Please read our info and safety tips here.

 

Sleeves are another great way to explore different ways to play, on your own or with a partner. If you tried one years ago and were disappointed, you should know that the technology has improved a lot. Some are pre-lubricated and disposable (great for traveling), others are high-tech with inner workings that are designed for maximum pleasure. There are silicone models, which are easy to clean, and elastomer versions, which are less expensive. Using a sleeve with a partner is a great way to add a little fun, especially when health issues or other concerns limit the kinds of sex they can do. Plus, it can be lots of fun for partners to watch you pleasure yourself and put on a show for them.

Let’s not forget how much fun prostate play can be! While some men have concerns about anal play, I always point out that where your nerve endings are has nothing to do with sexual orientation. And lots of guys have discovered that prostate massage feels great and can even help an reduce the size of an enlarged prostate. We have lots of prostate toys like the Aneros, the Naughty Boy, and the Pro Touch. If you’re curious, check out our info in exploring anal play and prostate play basics.

Although some folks have the idea that sex toys are just for women, I think it’s great when men let go of that and discover how many options they have. After all, that opens up plenty of new possibilities for you to experience pleasure, so don’t hold yourself back. You may be surprised at how much you enjoy them.

– Charlie Glickman, PhD, is the Education Program Manager at Good Vibrations . He offers workshops and classes on a wide range of sexuality topics including sex-positivity, sex & shame, sexual diversity and practices.

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G-Swirl: If you can get it open!

By Joan Price | April 10, 2010 |
[This vibrator is no longer available, but I thought you’d still enjoy reading about my trials and tribulations trying to use it.]
I’m no vibrator novice, and I’ve opened many a toy to insert batteries. I have never had the trouble I did with the G-Swirl.
I do understand how this is supposed to work. I read the directions. You squeeze the indentations, you hear a click from each side, and the top pops off. I reviewed a similar toy — the G-Twist — and had no problem popping its cap with one hand.
But I couldn’t open my purple G-Swirl with one hand, two hands, or even a jar opener. There were no clicks, nothing loosened.
Thank goodness, the good folks at Good Vibrations agreed that my product must be defective. They quickly replaced it with a new G-Swirl — this one bubblegum pink.
Hurray, this one opened. But it still took both hands squeezing the indentations (I couldn’t photograph that endeavor because I had no hand left to work the camera). Even with both hands, it took several tries.
For that reason alone, I hesitate to recommend the G-Swirl to women my age who may have arthritic or weak wrists. I type all day and lift weights, so you’d think I’d have found this task easier. If you’re young — maybe you wring diapers on a regular basis or build houses– and have the hand strength, maybe it won’t be an issue.
Good Vibrations, to their credit, sprang into action. They wrote me, “We put up a video on Youtube about changing the batteries of the G-Swirl here — while filming it we definitely saw how tricky it can be for a first time user.” (That’s okay, I’m not bristling at the “first time user reference.) You’ll notice that even in the demo (no longer available, sorry), she has to use both hands.
I apologize for taking this long to get past my tale of trying to open the cap to arrive at my actual review of the G-Swirl in operation. I’m happy to tell you that this internal vibrator is designed very well. The silicone is velvety smooth and just soft enough to give a little. The shape conforms to the vagina, with the curved bulb at the end just right for g-spotting.
The size starts small at the tip and increases with each new ridge, so you can decide how deep and full you want it. Holding the G-Swirl is comfortable, and the flared ridge is a good place to rest your hand. I read another review call it “hands-free,” but I didn’t find that to be true for me.
The vibrations are controlled by a daisy-shaped dial — you dial until you find the intensity (light to medium-strong) you want. I didn’t love that if you dial past the highest intensity, it decreases again, but I got used to making sure I didn’t do that.

Thank you, Good Vibrations, for sending me the G-Swirl.

Read all my vibrator reviews here. There are many, so click “older posts when you’ve scrolled to the bottom.
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ViboKit: Build your own rabbit

By Joan Price | March 30, 2010 |

[10/18/12 update: I learned that this product has been discontinued
(sorry!), but I thought you’d get a kick out of this review anyway,
so I didn’t remove it. Enjoy!]

 I love the idea of a “rabbit” vibrator that operates vaginally and clitorally at the same time. But if you’re like me, getting a vibrator designed for dual-action is hit or miss. If it hits the g-spot right, it misses the clitoris altogether. If it hits the clitoris just right, the vaginal action is all wrong. We’re all built differently. Wouldn’t it nice if you could build your own “rabbit” to your own dimensions?

With the ViboKit Upgrade Kit from Babeland, you can! This genius idea consists of a bullet (small, compact vibrator) in a rubbery home attached to a stretchable ring that fits around your dildo of choice. So you take the innie that works best for you, attach this outie, and voila — you have a rabbit vibrator that fits you. So cool!

That’s the idea of the Upgrade Kit, and it mostly works.

This isn’t in the instruction sheet — oh wait, there is no instruction sheet, just a diagram on the side of the box — but before use, you have to remove the bullet from its snug home (just twist and pull a bit), open it, and remove the little paper over the watch batteries that is keeping it from vibrating in the UPS truck during shipping. The first time, I got a faulty bullet which wouldn’t turn on, whatever I did, and then when I left it alone for a while, it turned itself on and wouldn’t turn off. It just skittered around the room on its own. I had to unscrew it it to make it stop.

The sign of a great sex toy retailer is its customer service. The moment I reported the problem to Babeland, a new one was on its way to me. The new one works perfectly — it turns on when I press the button, stays on if I hold it down for a few seconds, and turns off the moment I press it again. So that first one was indeed defective and a fluke. I include this not to embarrass Babeland or ViboKit, but to assure you that the retailers I recommend stand behind their products 100%.

The kit has more than the bullet attachment, though that’s the whole reason I wanted it. It also has a nubby ring to put around your dildo for more sensation, and a suction cup (!) so you can attach the whole business to the bathtub or to a wall (I suppose) for hands-free operation for a photo op or to delight a partner. (“Honey, open the door verrrry slowly!”)

I didn’t trust the suction cup — I didn’t want it to come loose and break either the mood or my toys. So I tested it attaching my newly created rabbit to the shower wall with my hands ready underneath. It stayed on the wall. I turned on the bullet — it stayed on the wall. I turned on the dildo also — it stayed on the wall! I truly expected that it would shake loose and fall, and I would scoff at the whole idea — but it actually stuck. Hmmm! I have no wish to make love to the shower wall, so now all I need is some reason that I’d want to stick it to the wall.

“Forget the shower wall!” I hear you shout. “How did your homemade rabbit work?” It worked fine for what it was — a bullet attached to a favorite vibrator. It was easily adjustable and stayed where I wanted it. But the bullet itself just isn’t strong enough for me. It might be for you, though.

Thank you, Babeland, for helping me build my own rabbit. And at only $28 for the whole kit (as long as you already have a favorite dildo), how can you go wrong?

See all Joan Price’s vibrator reviews here.
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Hitachi Magic Wand: strong enough for seniors

By Joan Price | October 4, 2009 |

The Hitachi Magic Wand is exactly that: magic. I discovered its gift-that-keeps-on-giving qualities at least thirty years ago and enjoyed it often. It lasted for decades, but finally its head hardened and a rough ridge appeared, and I had to say goodbye. Thank you, Good Vibrations, for sending me a new Hitachi Magic Wand for review. It’s not just as good as I remembered — at this time of my life, it’s better. I’ve been complaining throughout my vibrator reviews that I wished they were stronger. This one is!

When I used the Magic Wand as a young woman, I remember I had to cushion it with a washcloth to diffuse the sensations and temper the intensity just enough. At age 65 (one month to 66, hardly seems possible), I no longer need the washcloth. The wand is comfortable with just lubricant for cushioning, and the intensity is exactly right for flying to the moon.

I found it hilarious that the instructions that come with the Magic Wand have a diagram with numbers indicating the safe and effective places to “massage” — however the pelvic area is devoid of numbers! I guess we have to number our own….

(FYI, as I proofread this review, I discovered I twice mistyped “Magic Want” instead of “Magic Wand.” Now what does that tell you?)

If you googled “Hitachi Magic Wand review” you’d get 70,000 hits — but I’ll bet this is the only one you’ll read aimed at the senior/elder user. The Hitachi is the best-known (and best-loved) vibrator ever made, but I realize that many women in our age group grew up without sex toys being part of their experience.

Now that we’ve reached our age, an extra boost of intensity is really important for the stimulation our hormone-depleted bodies require to fire. If you haven’t incorporated sex toys into love play — with a partner or solo — I hope you’ll open your mind to it. Simply put, it’s far easier to reach an orgasm with the buzz from a clitoral vibrator than on our own. That’s just fact, at this stage of our lives. If you’re a woman who no longer reaches an orgasm easily — or at all — realize that you can recapture the sensation with some help — a Magic Wand, so to speak. (If you’re new to the idea of sex-toy-assisted stimulation, please read Senior Sex & Vibrators: Myths & Facts.)

Hitachi Magic Wand at GoodVibes.com

 

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