Whether you’re looking for a special gift for a loved one, for the two (or more) of you, or for your own private pleasure, here are some recommendations to put a sexy, satisfied smile on your or your giftee’s face.
If you think your gift won’t arrive in time, blame it on me for getting this Gift Guide out so late. Write a note about your intentions and welcome in the New Year when it arrives. (Or email me and I’ll hand write the note for you, scan it, and email it back to you.)
Two of our favorites have new updates:
The Pulse III * for penis pleasure has arrived from Hot Octopuss, and it’s better than ever. Now you can go from any level straight to “Turbo Mode.” An anti-stall sensor prevents any pressure from interfering with the vibrations. The Duo partner’s experience has been improved. And now it charges magnetically. Every penis owner that I know who has tried any version of the Pulse has loved it, especially because no erection is required. I appreciate that as good as it is, Hot Octopuss keeps improving this penis pleaser. Read this review of the Pulse I and II and this one of the Pulse Solo and Duo II from our contest winners. Order the new one here.
* 2021 update. This version of the Pulse is no longer available. Links have been changed to the Pulse Essential, the newer comparable model.
Do you own a Sybian? If you do, check out these two new silicone attachments to ride into orgasm: Triple Delight has soft clitoral and anal stimulating bumps at either end of a penetrative G-spotter. (Yes, you can have it all.) The Silky Smooth Flat Top is for you if you prefer your vibrations without penetration — use it in either direction and put the bump wherever you want it. If you’re unfamiliar with the glorious Sybian, read my review here (notice the discount code!) and learn about other silicone attachments here.
Here are some special sex toys that I reviewed in 2016, with quotes from these reviews and links to the full reviews:
Rumble. “Do you want a vibrator that’s well-designed, well-made, body-safe, and fairly strong — with a truly ergonomic shape, size, and weight? A solution if you have wrist arthritis or any condition that makes it difficult to grip or hold up a wand vibrator for as long as it takes to get the job done.”
|Doxie Die Cast|
Doxie Die Cast. “Strong as in lie-back-and-it’ll-happen strong, even if your orgasms usually take a lot of effort. If you like a high intensity clitoral vibrator, this power tool will sing to you in great, rumbly, throbby tones.”
L’Amourose Prism V. “A curvaceous work of art that happens to be a deep, strong, and rumbly g-spot vibrator. The shape and faceted design are lovely, and it’s easy to hold.”
Womanizer W500. “It’s the suction. It doesn’t just vibrate (though it does do that) — it gently pulls on the clitoris, bringing blood flow, engorgement, and increased sensation. It’s not ‘sucking’ like a vacuum — it’s subtle, but oh so effective and pleasurable.”
Here are couple of new products that might strike your fancy. I haven’t written full reviews of these, but they deserve mention here:
Funkit. (Yes, that’s an “n,” not a “c,” though the logo with the “n” on its side makes you look twice.) This beautiful silicone dildo aims to please, whether you use it vaginally or anally. The end is a suction cup, so you have even more options for play. Check out Funkit’s website for many more dildo designs that show you that sex and art can be a lovely couple. They also make butt plugs, spanking paddles, and textured rings for your pleasure-giving finger.
O-Wand. Big and heavy — 1.6 pounds and 13 inches long — this elegant, powerful, silicone vibrator is curved with an ergonomic handle so you can hold it in different ways and even rest it on your body. It comes in a huge (17″), fancy box, includes a nubby cap accessory and a set of charger adapters for different countries. There’s no pouch, though, which is strange considering its high price. It’s completely waterproof, so you can take it in the tub with you. (I recommend not taking it in the shower, because if you drop 1.6 pounds on your foot, it could be serious.) Get 15% off with the discount code “BETTER15” — just for our readers.
Überlube: When you want to feel a gliding sensation of skin on skin, this luxurious silicone lubricant delivers. Long-lasting for our slow-burning older bodies, slick for our delicate tissues, and a clear favorite of mine. Available in an elegant glass bottle or a refillable travel case.
Lucky Bloke: For the best selection of condoms, Lucky Bloke has you covered — so to speak. Take their simple test to make sure you’re wearing the right size condom, then order some sampler kits and try different brands. Lucky Bloke also offers lubricant samplers.
Of course it would make me very happy if you got your giftee or yourself one of my senior sex books — the gifts that keep on giving. A good choice for a holiday gift is Ageless Erotica, a ground-breaking anthology by talented writers over 50 featuring steamy, sexy characters over 50 (sometimes decades over 50). Ageless Erotica presents sexy seniors enjoying and sharing their erotic moments in short stories and memoir essays . And while you’re looking at my books, how about giving your sweetie or yourself one of my self-help senior sex books for the new year?
This kitten is Bobby Joe, a new member of my household. He is trying very hard to take on the role of resident sex kitten.
Searching for a sexy gift for your lover or yourself?
2014 has been a great year for innovative sex toys! Here are my favorites from December 2013 to December 2014:
Doxy – a power tool: Oh my. I wouldn’t have imagined that a vibrator this strong existed. I don’t even need to take it to the highest power setting to send me spinning into space. Even the low settings are strong and they’re rumbly rather than buzzy. A really strong wand vibrator. If you or your loved one needs extra power, Doxy delivers.
Men, you’ll love the Pulse! Presenting… The Pulse, a pulsing, oscillating, amazing vibrator for men that does not require an erection for his pleasure! That’s right — unlike other vibrating “sleeves,” the penis does not have to be hard to start enjoying it. Spread open the flexible flaps, rest your penis in it, turn it on, and enjoy the sensations. The Pulse is the perfect gift for the penis in your life.
Iroha: Cutest Vibrators Ever. The Iroha Rechargeable Silicone Vibrators, available in three styles and shapes, are adorable and cushy. I want to cuddle and squeeze them. And yes, they’re dynamic little vibrators — though not turbo power. The vibrator has a cushy layer, covered by a body-safe silicone skin. It’s not soft through and through (there’s a motor in there) — just a layer — so you can press firmly and feel just a little cushioning, or press lightly, and it all feels soft. Delightful.
- An elegant bottle or refillable case of Überlube, a superbly comfortable, slick, long-lasting, silicone lubricant. (Fine with condoms, not with silicone sex toys.) You can even use it to style your hair or eliminate chafing during sports.
- Condom sampler from Lucky Bloke: great variety, including some brands you’ve never heard of. And don’t you want to do business with a company whose motto is “Have more sex and save the world”?
- Blossom Organics Natural Moisturizing Lubricant or Warm Sensation Lubricant, pH balanced for female bodies. (Fine with condoms and with silicone sex toys.) If she likes arousal gels, the Pure Pleasure Arousal Gel is, as it claims, pure pleasure, adding an extra tingle!
Update: Although the contest is closed now, I hope you’ll read the interesting info below, including how to choose the right size condom!
What do you do to make safer sex sexier? How does it enhance your sexual enjoyment rather than interfere with it? What is your safer sex policy with new lovers or with non-exclusive partners?
Answer any of these questions and you can win free condoms or lube and dental dams!
I’m teaming together with Lucky Bloke, a condom subscription service offering more options than you thought possible, to find out what you think about safer sex and to reward two lucky people age 50+ with gift samplers of condoms or lubes!
• if there’s extra room = SMALLER / MORE TAILORED FIT CONDOMS (best fit for 35% of men)
• just enough room = MEDIUM / STANDARD FIT CONDOMS (best fit for 50% of men)
• if it’s too tight = LARGER / GENEROUS FIT CONDOMS (best fit for 15% of men)
1. Be age 50 or over.
2. Email Joan the following:
- What makes safer sex (including condoms/ dental dams/ non-penetrative sex) sexy as well as smart at our age?
- How do you make barrier protection sexier, more fun, and an enhancement of hot sex?
- What is your personal safer sex policy with new lovers or with non-exclusive partners, and why?
3. In your email, include your name, age, email, and mailing address (does not have to be in the US!), and tell me whether you want the condom sampler or the lube sampler and whether you’d like dental dams included if you win.
The best two responses will receive samplers directly from Lucky Bloke, sponsors of this contest, and will be published here and in The Ultimate Guide to Sex after Fifty, to be published by Cleis Press early in 2015. At Joan’s discretion, more of your comments may be used in the book, as well.
You may enter by commenting here, but please also email me the info above (#3) so I can notify you if you win.
Contest is closed, thank you!
Note from Lucky Bloke to you:
Discretion and ethical business practices are paramount at Lucky Bloke. We only use our customer’s information for shipping their orders. Everything is shipped discretely and personal information is never shared or made public anywhere.
Usually when I write a gift guide for you, I compile the best of the sex toys, books, and other items that I’ve reviewed all year. This year, I’m spotlighting some fabulous products that I haven’t reviewed yet, along with some favorites of the year.I’ve tried a few different clitoral arousal gels, and they all provide a bit of a tingle. The new wOw Max O from Wet is a whole different species.
I’ve been using it for several months, and haven’t reviewed it yet only because I can’t figure out how to describe the sensation. It’s more than a tingle — almost a sting, but in a lusciously arousing, sexy way. It contains two vasodilators which bring blood to the surface of the skin — important for arousal and orgasm —
and peppermint creates the more-than-tingly sensation. It feels really, really good. (If you can figure out how to describe the sensation, please let me know.) If you like the idea of extra clitoral arousal, but you want a gentle assist rather than the power of the Max, Wet also makes a milder version, called wOw Gentle O. Although the tube looks small, Wet says women typically get 75 applications from one tube.
Wet also makes 14 different kinds of lubricant, depending on your preference, whether you’re using it with latex condoms or silicone toys, whether you want thicker and slicker or more natural feeling. My favorite is the “Ecstasy Xtra Cooling Lubricant.”
When Good Vibrations heard that I was doing a Gift Guide, they rushed to send me some new products. Many insertable sex toys are too girthy for some of my readers who prefer or require slimmer toys for comfort. These two will please, and they’re lot less expensive than most of the vibrators that pass my review test! Both are hard plastic, use batteries, and have a dial at the end for intensity. (They’re labeled waterproof, but I didn’t test them this way.)
Silky G Waterproof G-spot Vibrator. This is a terrific vibrator for a woman who likes G-spot stimulation without girth. It’s just 1.25″ in diameter at its widest. We’re all shaped a bit differently, but for me, the curved tip hit my G-spot perfectly. Yum.
Easy Glider Waterproof Vibrator. If your giftee wants a slim, insertable vibrator but doesn’t care about the G-spot curve, this bright, translucent vibrator has bloops for varied sensations. At its widest, it’s only 1-1/8″, and the tip is much smaller for easy, gradual insertion.
If intense, diffused stimulation of the clitoris and much of the vulva is more important to you than size or silence, the Acuvibe has become one of my all-time favorite external vibrators. It’s strong, really strong, and because it’s rechargeable, there are no cords to get in the way while you use it. Yes, it’s heavy. So worth it!
Let’s say your giftee likes vaginal or anal sex toys and maybe even doesn’t need them to vibrate. Tantus produces an astonishing array of dildos, vibrators, butt plugs, and some items that defy categorization. Some are phallic shaped, like the Vamp pictured here — it’s sparkly, which doesn’t show in the photo, and the color and name whimsically call to mind a vampire’s phallus (not that I’ve ever seen a vampire’s phallus).
Others are shaped for anatomical pleasure rather than realistic appearance. Tantus has always taken a stand for body-safe, medical-grade, platinum-based silicone products, even when most sex toys used to be cheap and toxic. (FYI, the Vamp is too girthy for me — 1.75″ — but I like to look at it. Tantus does make smaller toys, but I thought you might like to look at the Vamp, too.)
When I was planning this gift guide, I was going to introduce the Crave Duet here. But once I tried it, I enjoyed it so much that I decided it needed its own review, which I appears here. If the woman in your life wants strong, direct clitoral vibrations in a tiny, practically silent vibrator, the Duet makes an elegant gift.
I’ve given you a lots of gift ideas for women, but how about the fellow in your life? If he’s told you stories of hiding his copies of Playboy under his mattress when he was a boy, he’ll appreciate this coffee-table size (
9.4″ x 12″) book: Playboy’s Greatest Covers, by sex, tech, and pop culture writer Damon Brown.
A man can’t have too many eggs — Tenga Egg Masturbation Sleeves, that is. “It provides marvelous sensations, comes in a wide variety of interior ribbing designs and as a bonus, is usable even by men suffering from erectile dysfunction, raves my male reviewer, sex therapist David Pittle. Read his review here.
Blossom Organics makes smooth, body-safe, natural feeling lubricants so you can enjoy your sexual sensations with a partner, a toy, or your own fingers, even if your vagina doesn’t lubricate easily any more. As the name implies, these are made from natural and organic plant-based materials that are gentle even for sensitive vaginas. Choose from natural moisturizing lubricant, warm sensation moisturizing lubricant, or warm sensation oil. (The oil is not latex-friendly; the others are.) Be sure and try the Pure Pleasure Arousal Gel for extra tingle!
I’ve been praising the Liberator Wedge for years. It’s a sex cushion, just the right shape, size, and support for getting into your favorite sex position without stress to your (or your partner’s) knees, hips, or back. No need to put it away between sex dates — it’s also a nice reading pillow! I like the 24″, but for large-sized bodies or a greater variety of sex positions, you might want another size or shape or a combo.
- Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex : Award-winning guide to better sex after 50, including 145 reader stories and 45 experts answering their questions.
- Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk About Sex After Sixty : Celebrating the joys of older-age sexuality through Joan’s candid, spicy love story.
What do you think of this year’s selection? I invite you to add your comments. (Please, no retailers that I don’t endorse trying to pull my readers to your sites.)
Please also enjoy my past gift guides:
- Holiday Gift Guide 2011
- Holiday Gift Guide 2010
- Valentine’s Day Gift 2010 Guide, pt. 1
- Valentine’s Day Gift Guide 2010, pt. 2