Older guys offer something special for younger partners, gay or straight. Men often run towards younger partners, and this is not only the case with kings, superstars and businessmen. Even in Disney cartoons, notice the notable age discrepancy between the damsel in distress and the hero of the story.
The situation in the gay world is similar. But older men are often the partners of choice for younger men. I, for example — as a young gay man — am of the opinion that getting older only means getting better. At age 30, I am attracted to older men, often much older. Why? What do they give me that I need? In the style of a Carrie Bradshaw gone gay, guys, I tried to pin down why I prefer older men. It’s for several different reasons.
Older means more mature
I believe that age is nothing but a number. As long as you’re on the same level mentally, there’s really nothing to worry about. In 90% of instances, the best indicator of a person’s maturity is their age. Older guys are more mature, know how to take care of things and in what order they should take care of them. They know how life functions. Many of us are simply into silver foxes. (Hi, George Clooney, if you’re reading this.)
Good sex as a goal
Age makes for better sex as well. Besides being able to talk on a variety of topics, most older guys are also very knowledgeable in the bedroom. They are not scared of trying new things in bed, maybe because they feel they have something to prove. And they do prove it! What I managed to do is convince my man that experimenting with sex toys such as this cock ring can have amazing benefits for both of us.
Kinky and fearless
The kinkiest sex I ever had was with guys twice my age. What do older guys have that younger guys don’t, and what’s the catch there? Someone who’s older than you will gladly take you wherever you want to go. One of the biggest trends in the sex world today (both gay and straight) is the use of sex toys, and do not think that older guys won’t use them. There are that they can choose from. If sex toys are new to them, they might be somewhat uncomfortable with them at first, but rest assured that they will do whatever they can to make it happen.
Nothing sexier than confidence
It might be a coincidence, but the majority of older guys I dated had a certain career behind them, which only made them more confident in who they are and what they have to show. It’s amazing what a good career and an established occupation can do to a person. If he translates this success into his personal life, you will get to reap the fruit, and it tastes amazing!
To conclude, older guys offer something that people my age do not. And yes, sometimes they will have to understand where I’m coming from and what I want, but they want to keep up with all the trends in the best possible way. So, if you’re into them like I am, go ahead. They’re mature, have their life together, and most importantly – they know what they want.
The new Limba Flex dildos from Fun Factory are as practical as they are lovely. The Limba Flex M is 6.8 inches long, yet only 1.2 inches in diameter. The Limba Flex S is shorter — 4.7 inches long — and slightly slimmer at 1.1″ diameter. The shapes are different — they’re not just different size versions of the same dildo. They’re both made of body-safe silicone.
The best part about these dildos is that they bend! You can get just the right curve or angle for hitting the G-spot or prostate and for accommodating arthritic wrists.
I found the M much easier to bend than the S, probably because of the length. The M bent easily from completely straight, to tilted at the tip, to curved a little, to about 90 degrees. The S changed angle also, but with fewer variations, and it took some wrestling.
There are hundreds, maybe thousands, of girthy dildos in sex toy land, many of them uncomfortable or even unusable for aging vaginas. (Your preferred dildo width will vary, of course.) I’m grateful to Fun Factory for creating these lovely creatures that work well for those of us who find a slim fit more comfortable. Combine this with the flex option, and these are winners. As with all Fun Factory toys, they are high quality and built to last. Learn more and order here.
FYI the colors in the photos look lighter and bluer than the actual dildos, which are dark teal (M) and turquoise (S). Use with plenty of water-based lubricant for best results.
More Fun Factory pleasure tools you’ll want to check out:
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So many ways to enjoy a dildo!
- Solo: Hold the dildo and insert it vaginally or anally*, as you please.
- Solo x2: Hold the dildo in one hand for penetration and a vibrator in the other for clitoral stimulation. Isn’t that why we have two hands?
- Partnered manual: You or your partner holds the dildo during sex pleasuring.
- Partnered with harness: You or your partner penetrates the other by wearing the dildo in a harness, such as these from Smitten Kitten. If the wearer has erectile limitations, consider the Deuce harness from SpareParts which accommodates both a dildo and a penis, erect or not.
- Temperature play: Experiment with chilling your silicone or glass dildo in the refrigerator or in a bowl of ice. Prefer warm? Warm it in hot water. Or switch between the two!
- Experiment your way! This is just an introduction. There are no limits to what you, your body, and your imagination might enjoy.
* Important: Don’t switch from anal to vaginal with an insertable toy or a body part, no matter how squeaky clean you feel. If you want to switch without getting up to clean your dildo (or body part), have two and designate which goes where. Another option is to use condoms on your dildo and change condoms between orifices. For anal play safety, be sure you’re using a dildo with a flared base. All the dildos recommended here have flared bases.
More dildo resources for you:
- Read “Dil-do’s and Dil-don’ts” from Good Vibrations to learn more about dildos and how to choose the right one for you.
- Most of the sex toy retailers in the right hand column (advertisers and affiliates) carry an extensive line of dildos. Think first about what you want in size and shape, and where you’ll want it to go.
- For the largest selection of silicone dildos of every shape, size, color, and design imaginable, check out Tantus. I think my Tantus Paisley dildo is the most beautiful. Although the color combination in mine isn’t available now, you can get the same model with all the wonderful bumps and swirls in “true blood red” or “twilight” blue. This one has a 1.5-inch diameter.
- Kenton at Funkit Toys enjoys experimenting with colors and designs and, oh, the results are eye-popping. Kenton makes paddles and floggers as well as dildos. His Twitter feed is always interesting and often hilarious.
Old People Sex
(with apologies to T.S. Eliot)
by Shamus MacDuff
It starts with talk—a conversation—
At which we set a date for play
Often a day or two away.
Time passes, anticipation simmers,
Thoughts unfold, excitement builds,
And then the chosen time arrives!
Showers happen, nothing’s rushed.
Sheets are pulled back, lube’s at hand,
And sex toys to match our ken.
We begin with talk—a loving flirtation—
Back and forth about who’ll go first,
Taking turns is very sexy!
The receiver makes requests; the giver
Complies gladly. Our “joint undertaking”
May require repositioned stiff knees.
Kissing, touching, then more kissing,
And more touching, all slow and easy,
No hurried strokes, no rush.
Responsive desire fires mutual pleasure,
Slow, gentle, sensuous, and exhilarating,
Spiced with smiles and laughter.
Activities vary, we experiment as we play.
PIV seldom happens; other ways
Prove more pleasurable and fun.
We finish with orgasms, hugs, spooning,
And more conversation—sharing thoughts about
Our past and present lives.
And this is how our date ends, this is how our date ends
This is how our date ends,
Not with a bang, but a cuddle.
I’m often asked what I mean when I say that I review sex toys “from a senior perspective.” What’s a “senior perspective” and how do our senior needs differ from younger folks?
- We need vibrators that can go as long as we need to arouse our slow-burning bodies without overheating or running out of charge.
- We want ergonomic sex toys that don’t strain arthritic wrists.
- We need sex toys made from body-safe materials. (Aren’t they all? No.)
- Vulva owners who enjoy vaginal penetration may require a slim fit for comfort.
- Penis owners with erectile challenges need sex toys that don’t require an erection to use it.
- We want to see and differentiate the controls without putting on our reading glasses.
- We want to be able to adjust the controls by touch, despite slippery, lubed fingers.
- Above all, we need intensity: strong vibrations. We’re battling our (lack of) hormones, people.
That’s why I say I review sex toys from a senior perspective. Is there anything you would add to my list?
To see the whole list of vibrators and other sex toys reviewed on this blog, click here. Keep scrolling to “older posts,” because I’ve reviewed a lot of them! You’ll also find my webinar “Sex Toys for Seniors” informative and enjoyable.
I welcome your comments on my reviews, whether you agree or disagree. I’m just one person, and our preferences vary. Whether a toy works for me may depend on “fit” as well as preference, and it’s useful for all of us if you post your own experience in the comments section.
7/19/2020: I’m updating this post from 2011 to answer a reporter’s question. You might have wondered this also!