Joan holds the Kurve

The Kurve, the latest vibrator innovation from Hot Octopuss, promises to delight G-Spot owners — and it does!

 

Hot Octopuss is best known for sex toys for penises. Now they’ve taken the bass-treble dual motors used in the popular JETT  and placed them in a smooth, elegant, penetrative vibrator for eager vaginas. This means you have two motors vibrating at different frequencies. The bass is rumbly and throbby and altogether wonderful. The treble is a higher frequency but not buzzy (I had worried that it would be). The two together are two musical instruments in concert.

 

The intensity is strong, and I mean strong! I suggest playing with low- to mid-settings before you go full throttle, even if you usually assume you need the strongest, most ferocious vibrations possible (guilty as charged). Spend several sessions experimenting to find what combination of treble-bass and more-less power for a given moment.

 

Even if you’re a seasoned vibrator connoisseur and you use most sex toys intuitively, I  recommend that you study the one-page manual that you’ll find in the box and  online, where you can enlarge it for your old eyes. I would have figured out how to turn it on (press and hold “+” for each motor) and off (press and  hold “-” for each motor) and how to increase (+) or decrease (-) the intensity. But I would not have intuited that the little raised button on the treble side turns off both motors simultaneously, and the little indented button on the bass side cycles through the patterns.

 

Speaking of patterns! Honestly, I usually ignore patterns. Give me steady and strong, then steady and stronger. Don’t distract me with rhythms. But with the Kurve, patterns are exciting! The only one I know how to describe is #5: “beep-beep- cha-cha-cha.” With the different rhythmic patterns and the two motors that each have their own intensity choices, the combinations are plentiful. In fact, I find that every time I use the Kurve and experiment, it’s a new experience.

 

Why is it especially good for our age group?

  • The whole design is beautifully ergonomic and suited to our genitals, from the vagina-pleasing curve to the gel-soft tip.
  • The controls are super easy to see. (I’ve been asking for this!) You can even differentiate the raised symbols by touch, with eyes closed.
  • The large, cushioned tip is comfortable and adaptable to our varying shapes and pressure preferences.
  • It offers enough stimulation for our slow-burning bodies.

But what about the clitoris?

Personally, I had hoped it could be used externally as well as internally, making it a most versatile sex toy. Though it’s a stimulating clitoral warm-up, it does its best work internally.

Easy solutions if you need or prefer clitoral stimulation:

  1. Invite your favorite clitoral vibrator to join the party. Being created with two hands gives us many advantages in daily life: using a fork and knife, pouring coffee and making sure it lands in the mug, tying shoes, petting the dog while changing channels, to name just a few. I’d put on the top of that list: using a clitoral vibrator and a vaginal vibrator at the same time! Try DiGiT, Amo, Eroscillator, We-Vibe Touch, or any smallish vibe that won’t clunk against the Kurve.
  2. Enjoy your or your partner’s fingers on your clitoris while the Kurve is in your vagina. One partner of a vulva owner reported this technique:

“My partner had the Kurve fully inserted in her vagina on the setting she likes best. I rested the outer edge of my left hand lightly against the protruding end of the vibrating Kurve. Then, using my thumb and index finger, I stroked and manipulated her clitoris with ample lube. The vibrations from the Kurve transmitted through my hand and fingers to her sweet spot, with a lovely result.”

 

Caveats:

  • The product description does not include the diameter of the largest insertable part. Since it’s not uncommon for older vagina-owners to require slim products for comfort, this measurement should be disclosed, Hot Octopuss! I measured it for you: 1.5 inch diameter. The tapered, squishy tip is squeezable and after insertion the mid-section is slender, but there’s a moment that it’s a non-negotiable 1.5″, in case that’s a problem for you.
  • With two motors at full blast, the handle itself transmits vibrations, which will aggravate an arthritic hand. However, if you prop a pillow for the handle to rest on, you don’t really have to hold it. Just keep a couple of fingers on it to keep it from rotating out of position, and it will pretty much stay where you put it.
  • You have to be careful not to accidentally hit the controls in the handle when you’re in the throes of passion.
  • I don’t much love the “KURVE is a sex toy superhero on a mission to seek out your G-spot” marketing. In my view, instead of pursuing the goal of having your body work a certain way — “Was that my G-spot? Or did I orgasm because I enjoy vaginal vibration? Or am I feeling my internal clitoris? Am I doing this wrong?” —  just try it different ways and let yourself relax and enjoy.

 

Added attractions:

Kurve charging hole

  • Waterproof! You’ll need water-based lube, though, so best to lubricate and insert it before you get in the tub.
  • USB rechargeable via a charging hole.
  • If you have a penis-owner lover who is jealous of the attention you get from your new toy, press the Kurve against the penis along with oral or manual pleasuring. Share the joy!

 

Attention Kurve owners:

Are you a vulva owner who already has a Kurve or is ordering one now? If you’d be interested in participating in a focus group for Hot Octopuss to discuss your experience with the Kurve, please contact me for more information.  Participants who are selected will get an autographed copy of one of my books as a thank you.

 

Thank you, Hot Octopuss, for creating the Kurve and for caring about senior vulva owners’ pleasure!

 

Joan holds the Kurve

Sunny Love

by Shamus MacDuff

 

Hummingbird feeder outside in sunshine

 

Sunlight streams through the window by her bed,

And shimmers off her hummingbird feeder just outside.

Clad only in pearl necklaces, she emerges from the shower

With a welcoming smile that beckons me join her in bed.

Feeling both the sun’s warmth and hers, I quickly comply.

 

My thoughtful lover has assembled sex toys and lube,

As we lie down together, kissing, stroking, and giggling.

Soothing sunlight dapples our nipples and softens our

Old people wrinkles and blemishes as we cling together.

We are again young in the sun, two bodies eager for touch.

 

Our preference is taking turns pleasuring one another,

With full focus first on one person, and then on the other.

Pleasuring and being pleasured in full sunshine is a treat

In that beautiful wood-paneled bedroom where we meet.

Slowly, gently, lovingly, we exchange climaxes in the sun.

 

Filled with afterglow, when spooning, we catch movement

Out the window as an iridescent hummingbird hovers.

While we hug and talk we count the hummers’ visits,

Thrilling over how they glisten in the sun’s afternoon rays.

Their allure accentuates the radiance of our own sunny love.

 

 

— Shamus MacDuff, 1/23/21

Note: More and better hummingbird photos to follow when we can get them to hold still for the camera.

1/24 update. I published this post in April 2020. I’m getting so many questions about this topic that I’m moving it to the top of my blog.

Seniors often ask me, “What’s the best vibrator?” I’m happy to help, but the answer isn’t that easy. The question usually comes from people who identify as women who never used vibrators in the past, or who tried vibrators but never got attached (so to speak) to them. Now they discover orgasms are elusive, and they need an assist to intensify sensation, ramp up arousal, and reach orgasm.

I’ve reviewed more than a hundred vibrators on this blog over the last decade, and tested many more that I decided not to review. My blog reviews screen for the best vibrators for our age group and give you the pros and cons of each. Despite all my experience, I can’t tell you which one is “best.”  That’s not an inadequacy on my part, it’s because the vibrator that’s best for you depends on many factors.

Your first step is figuring out exactly what you  need. We’re all different, and your own needs and preferences will determine which vibrator will become your best friend.  Let me guide you through how to sort through the many possibilities.

How Do I Get Started With Vibrators?

Start by answering these questions:

  1. How will you use your vibrator? I know, you’ll press it against your sexy bits to give you orgasms, but how and where? Do you want a vibrator that stimulates your clitoris? Goes into your vagina? Does both at the same time? Will you use it solo or during partner sex? Do you want it to double as a back massager?
  2. Do you care what it looks like? Some women want a sex toy to look like a penis. Others really don’t want it to look like a penis. Some want it not to look like a sex toy at all.
  3. How should it feel against your skin? Vibrators can be firm, flexible, cushiony, hard, soft, textured, smooth and any other tactile quality you can think of.
  4. How strong should the vibrations be? Do you want your vibrator to be quiet and whisper-light, turbo power, earth-shaking strong, or something in between?
  5. How much does noise matter? Will you worry that your neighbors in the next apartment or a family member in the next room can hear it?
  6. What size is too big, too small, just right if this is a penetrating toy? Sometimes a size that would have felt perfect 30 years ago is just too girthy and uncomfortable for us now, especially if we’re not having regular penetrative sex.
  7. Do you have mobility restrictions or other physical issues to consider? Is wrist arthritis an issue for holding a vibrator? What position will you be in when you use it?
  8. What else is important to you? This is completely individual. You may want it to be no-brainer easy to use: off, on, that’s it. Or you may relish multiple patterns, rhythms and intensities, and not mind a bit of a learning curve. You may want the controls to be comprehensible by touch without your reading glasses. You may want to travel with it.

Once you’ve answered these questions, you’re ready to start narrowing your choices.

Never underestimate the power of a good orgasm, whether it’s vibrator-assisted or not. At this time in our lives, catching that evasive orgasm can be difficult. Make it easier with the right tool!

 

how to choose a vibrator

How do I Choose the Right Vibrator and Purchase Online?

Read online reviews. I review sex toys from a senior perspective on this blog, taking into consideration intensity, ease of use, body-safe materials, etc.  Click “vibrator review” and keep reading and scrolling until you find those that match your criteria. Links to order from the reputable retailers that I endorse are included within each review. If you’d like to compare several vibrators, choose a retailer from my advertisers and affiliates. (Find their banner links in the right-hand column of my blog if you’re using a computer,  or scroll past a few posts if you’re using your phone.) These folks support me in providing senior sex education to you, and I’ve vetted each one as a high-quality, reputable online store.

The most entertaining way to learn more about some of my favorite sex toys is to view my webinar, Sex Toys for Seniors. In this 90-minute online class, I do a lively show-and-tell, covering these topics:

  • My criteria for evaluating sex toysSex
  • 8 questions to help you choose your personal vibrator.
  • 5 myths and facts about vibrators.
  • Show-and-tell: my highly recommended sex toys for seniors.

Subscribe to my newsletter for a special webinar discount!

 

You’ll also find a ton of sex toy information in my book The Ultimate Guide to Sex after Fifty, including how to buy sex toys made of body-safe materials (the cheaper ones may not be). You’ll also find info on every other senior sex topic!

 

The Womanizer X Lovehoney Pro40 Rechargeable Clitoral Stimulator  from LoveHoney is not a new product, but it’s a popular one which I’ve enjoyed immensely all year and should have reviewed for you sooner. If you’re a fan of “air pulse” technology, or if you’ve never tried it and don’t know what product to start with, you can’t go wrong with this one.

But first, some history:

In March 2015, I met my first Womanizer sex toy. It was a garish, uglywomanizer review thing with an offensive name and a fake jewel control button that stabbed my thumb. I felt the need to tell you this:

Let’s get this part out of the way first — this is the ugliest, tackiest looking sex toy that has ever graced my nightstand. It looks like a design by sixth graders assigned to figure out what a girly ear thermometer might look like…and the name —  Womanizer. Seriously?

But it used a new technology that bestowed orgasms so glorious  that I forgave the appearance, the thumb stabbing, and the name. I described the sensation as “clitoral suction,” though it doesn’t really suckit combines vibration and pulses of air to create the sensation of gentle sucking.

Fast-forward five years. By now, end of 2020, most sex toy connoisseurs have heard of and enjoyed the “air pulse” or “Pleasure Air™” technology from Womanizer, which  boasts several models of different sizes andfortunatelyan updated appearance.  The price has come down. The awful name hasn’t changed, but we’ve gotten used to it. We’ve pretty much divorced the word in our minds from the offensive connotation. (It’s similar to the way we’ve adapted to the name “iPad,” which no longer reminds of of sanitary napkins.)

womanizer review

The Womanizer X Lovehoney Pro40 Rechargeable Clitoral Stimulator is based on an earlier model that was discontinued by Womanizer and has been revived with LoveHoney.

Here’s why I love it:

  • Works really, really well. Put a little water-based lube on the edges of the head and on the clitoris, position the Pro40 so it envelopes the clitoris, trying for a tight seal, turn it on, and relax into the sensations. Turn up the intensity as you need it until there’s no place to go but over the moon.
  • 6 intensity levels from delicate to “yowza!” Start with mild sensation and build up as you get aroused. There are no patterns, which suits me, because I prefer strong and steady without the distraction of rhythmic variations.
  • Buttons you can see, feel, and understand even with lube-slick fingers. I’m irked when otherwise great toys need a strong light and reading glasses to figure out the controls. The Womanizer Pro40 has raised buttons and big labels, and nothing extra to confuse you.
  • Lightweight and ergonomic. Comfortable to hold.
  • Waterproof. Use it in the shower or bath, just be aware that it makes a funny noise* in water which may cause laughter instead of arousal (or maybe that’s just me).
  • Easy to clean. Just remove and wash the head and wipe lube off the rest.
  • USB Rechargeable.

* Speaking of noise, yeah, there’s noise. On a low setting, it’s practically silent, but rev it up and it gets loud. With lube, if you don’t have a snug seal over your clitoris, it makes a slurping sound. Just adjust the fit and the slurping stops, but it’s still loud. My solution for you if noise is a problem: send household members outside to walk the dog while you attend to yourself.

Some Womanizer models come with two interchangeable heads of slightly different size and design, so that you can choose the best fit for your body.  The original Pro40 did this, too. This one, however, has only one head.

Caveat: Do not use if you have a pacemaker.

Many thanks to LoveHoney, the sexual happiness people, for sending me the Womanizer X  Pro40 Rechargeable Clitoral Stimulator.

womanizer review