Pulse Queen review: Yes, Your Rumbly Majesty!

It’s always an event when Hot Octopuss releases a new sex toy, and the Pulse Queen external vibrator is a winner! Rarely does a new sex toy charm me this thoroughly.


Why do I love the Pulse Queen?

First and foremost, I love it because it’s rumbly — deeply rumbly! — and it stays rumbly even on the highest of 9 speeds. It’s also super strong. I consider myself a power user, usually requiring the highest speed. But with the Pulse Queen, I don’t need to go past level 6 — it’s that powerful.

The experience is exquisite. The whole vulva reverberates with sensation, and I feel it deep in my body, not just surface level. The secret is the combination of rumble and oscillation, which is more intense than simple vibration. The technology is the same as the PulsePlate Technology™ in the Pulse penis toys which have delighted many a frenulum.

You can also enjoy seven patterns, some quite unusual. Sometimes I start with patterns for a tease, but when I’m ready to get serious about going to my happy place, steady pulsing gets me there. Your experience may vary, of course. Feel free to contribute your thoughts in the comments.


Ergonomic, oh yes

The Pulse Queen is also ergonomic for seniors in all the best ways:

  • Shaped for targeted clitoral stimulation and more. The “bulb” extends out for pinpointing, circling, or edging onto the clitoris; clamping between your thighs for all-over vulva stimulation; or pairing with a dildo for vaginal + clitoral delights. Explore, experiment!
  • Good for arthritic wrists. The handle is long, slim, and curved, making it easy to hold. Vibrations are only minimally transmitted though the handle.
  • Large, Raised Controls are easy to see (no need for glasses) or feel even with eyes closed.
  • Instruction booklet with large, clear diagrams illustrating everything you need to know — no words required.

Bonus points

  • Completely waterproof.
  • Made of body-safe silicone. Use with water-based lubricant only.
  • Black satin storage pouch.
  • Easy USB charging (see photo for insertion point for pin).

Not just for vulvas!

The Pulse Queen is marketed to vulva owners, but if you’re partnered with a penis owner, share the joy! As Shamus MacDuff discovered,

My partner told me of a new sex toy she wanted to try on herself. She said its name is Queen and it’s designed for vulvas so I assumed it would be for her pleasure alone. Was I ever wrong! After enjoying it on her own parts, she applied it to mine. First she ramped up the vibrations on my balls, then my shaft, and finally my frenulum. This produced pure ecstasy and a wonderful orgasm. The Queen works beautifully for penis owners too!




Purchase the Pulse Queen from Hot Octopuss — and take a look at their other fine products before you check out. Shamus MacDuff and I have  been reviewing their exceptional vibrators for penises and vulvas for years. Read our reviews (keep scrolling and click “older posts,” because there are many). They’re a terrific company, too, focused on sexual pleasure and health for all bodies.



Why don’t I review sex toys more often?

I’ve been reviewing sex toys from senior perspective for more than 14 years, and I admit I’ve become a little jaded. These days, I turn down more offers of review products than I accept. Even when I request one, a review isn’t guaranteed.  A new vibrator needs to offer an exceptional or novel experience, or I don’t want to spend your time and mine on a review. Know that if a product jumps all my hurdles and ends up with a rave review, my body, brain, and extensive experience have collaborated on that celebration!  Enjoy!


“Sex After 60” in Cosmopolitan, including sex toys!

sex after 60 in cosmopolitan

How age-affirming that Cosmopolitan magazine — usually aimed at a readership of young women — devoted a special digital issue on “Sex After 60“! No less than 11 articles, from celebrity quotes to true “sexcapades” to — you knew this was coming — an article on sex toys, written by me!

Starting after menopause and continuing onward, our bodies change. Often, the kind of sex that reliably brought us to orgasm as young women doesn’t do the job or isn’t as exciting or pleasurable anymore. Thanks to declining estrogen and testosterone levels, we’re slower to arouse. Blood doesn’t automatically rush to the genitals, and we require additional stimulation to get them to respond. We need a relaxed body and brain and lots more time to build to a climax. Sometimes we can’t seem to get there on our own or with a partner, but that’s not a defect or a reason to give up. It’s just an opportunity to bring in some assistance…sex toys!

from “10 Sex Toys to Fit Your Every Need” by Joan Price for Cosmopolitan


In “10 Sex Toys to Fit Your Every Need,” I discuss why senior women, especially, benefit from the added oomph and intensity of vibrational assists. Since this article will be read by folks who may not have experienced sex toys and/or consider them shameful, icky, or an indication that their bodies or partners are defective, I assure readers,

And don’t think that because a sex toy isn’t “natural,” you shouldn’t need it. We take pills for headaches, wear reading glasses, and cook on stoves instead of building fires. Give sex toys a chance. You deserve sexual pleasure at this time of life! You can even invite your partner to enjoy them with you. (If they’re reluctant, try, “My body responds differently now; I need extra sensation to reach orgasm reliably. Just as we need lube, I need this. I’ll show you how it can work for you too.”)


The main thrust of the article is a list of 10 toys that I recommend particularly for senior vulva owners, from those who need a gentle assist to those who require or prefer major power. You can read my quickie blurbs about each one, and for lots more information, read my full reviews on this blog by clicking on the name of each sex toy below. Enjoy!

  • Eroscillator. My go-to favorite vibrator for decades for clitoral stimulation during solo or partnered sex.
  • Inya Rose: This lovely stimulator feels like a skilled partner is sucking gently (or strongly) on your clitoris.
  • Hot Octopuss Kurve: The most festive fun you can give your vagina with two motors throbbing and thrumming independently.
  • Tenga Iroha Yuki: If you only need a mild assist, and you want a vibrator that doesn’t look like a vibrator, this one is adorable and good for beginners to sex toys.
  • Fun Factory Volta: The most versatile, all-gender vibrator, with unlimited uses for your erogenous zones and your partner’s.
  • We-Vibe Touch X: This palm-sized clitoral vibrator is terrific for travel and mighty strong considering the size.
  • Womanizer Premium Eco: the best of the Pleasure Air Technology vibrators, in my view, and its recyclable parts are good for the planet.
  • We-Vibe Melt: This streamlined version of the Womanizer’s Pleasure Air Technology is slender enough for partnered as well as solo sex, yet still strong.
  • Magic Wand Rechargeable: It wouldn’t be a “best sex toys” list without the king of vibrators, would it? If you prefer a lighter, somewhat smaller version than the hefty original, try the Mini.
  • Fun Factory Limba Flex Dildo: Older vaginas are often more comfortable with penetrative toys like these that are slender, smooth, bendable, and bodysafe.



And of course, at our age, we need to use a great lubricant with all sexual touch including vibrators. These recommended sex toys are silicone, so choose a water-based or hybrid lube, such as the new simply® timeless line from Wicked Sensual Care, with ingredients so healthy and effective that you can use simply® timeless as a vaginal moisturizer as well as a sexual lubricant.


Solo Sex for Seniors: Making Self Pleasure Work for You

copy of Ageless Erotica by Joan Price along with items used for self pleasure

Masturbation is a harsh-sounding word for an activity that’s immensely pleasurable and self-loving. It’s sex with the person who knows you the best: yourself. Self-pleasuring is delicious sex, and it doesn’t matter how old we are, what gender, whether or not we have a partner, if arousal and orgasms are our happy place or we’ve grown up to think of masturbation as shameful. Sexual pleasure is within our own power.

Here are some reasons that we, as seniors, might want to enjoy solo sex:

5 Reasons to Self-Pleasure

  1. What used to bring you to orgasm doesn’t do it anymore. Our responses change as we age, and what aroused us in the past may not work best for us now. The best way to figure out what does work now is to experiment on your own. What kind of touch do you like? Where, exactly? What pace? What intensity? The most direct way to stay in tune with what you need for sexual pleasure is to experiment with your own hands — and, of course, sex toys. Once you find the path to pleasure on your own, you can teach it to your partner if you have one. And if you don’t, that doesn’t have to mean a lack of orgasms!
  2. You don’t have a partner. Many of us have no sexual partner at this time in our lives. Too often, I hear this from older women: “When I meet someone, I’ll think about sex again. Until then, it doesn’t matter.” It does matter. If we put sex on hold for months, years, decades, it will be much more difficult to enjoy sex if a partner does show up later on. It’s up to us to stay healthy and sexually vibrant with regular arousal and orgasms. Even if you don’t care about being partnered again, sex with yourself is important for health and wellbeing.
  3. You have a partner, but little or no sexual interaction, or it doesn’t lead to orgasm for you. Many of us can’t have full sexual expression with our partners due to medical or relationship issues. Perhaps one partner has lost interest or is no longer able to engage sexually, so the other gives up on sex. Or you and your partner are no longer sexually attracted to each other, but for other reasons, you want to stay together. Maybe what you need is not what your partner is able or willing to give you, or you don’t know how to ask for it.
  4. Orgasms are gifts you can give yourself. Our reason to masturbate doesn’t have to be because something else isn’t going well. It can be because we like it, we know how to please ourselves and we’re good at giving ourselves orgasms. It can be as simple and as joyful as that.
  5. Best reason of all: it just feels good!


How to Make Solo Sex Work for You

From planning to sex toys, take these steps to give yourself the best chance for an orgasmic experience.

Make a date with yourself. Don’t leave self-pleasuring to chance. Our arousal capability ebbs and flows, so schedule your dates with yourself during the time of day when you feel most sexually charged: your “tingle time,” as I call it. Not sure when that is? Orgasms are easier before a meal, not afterward, and not when you’re tired. You might get aroused most easily in the early morning after your first cup of coffee, or just before lunch, or after a quick afternoon nap. Experiment to find out what your special time is. Set aside enough private time to enjoy the experience without rushing.

Exercise first. Be physical in your daily life. Exercise increases blood flow. This translates to sexual arousal, because the blood flows to your genitals as well as to your muscles, making arousal easier and faster. For surprisingly effective results, exercise right before your solo sex time.

Prepare. Have everything ready that you might want: lubricant, a small towel, massage oil, pillows for hip, back and neck comfort. Leave your phone and computer in another room, gather your favorite sex toys and settle in for pleasure. You don’t have a favorite sex toy, or you’ve never used one?? Read “Vibrators for Seniors – especially for first-timers.”

Set the mood. Read erotica if you enjoy it (try Ageless Erotica, by and for our age group!), play music, write sexy thoughts in your journal, take a bath, massage your body slowly—whatever turns you on. You might like candlelight, lingerie, visual stimulation…Let your imagination run wild.

Choose your lube. A lubricant that keeps you moist and slick will increase comfort and intensify your pleasure. Keep the lube within reach so you can reapply frequently. Choosing a lube that contains only healthy ingredients is important: try Wicked Sensual Care’s simply® timeless line developed for menopause and beyond!

Explore your body slowly. Sometimes racing to an orgasm is fun, but at other times, take time to slow down and explore all your erogenous zones and the kind of sensual stimulation you like. Maybe you like your breasts or thighs stroked, or maybe there’s a special place on your neck or the inside of your wrist that makes you shiver when touched just right. You may discover that the kind of touch that turns you on and/or the places you like to be touched are different now than they used to be, so don’t rely on past history.

Use sex toys and other erotic helpers. Our hormonally challenged bodies often need extra help to reach orgasm these days, and our wrists may tire before we reach our goal. That’s where your vibrator comes in. Use it on a low speed to get aroused, then turn up the intensity to take yourself to orgasm. Or you might experiment with having an assortment of toys charged and ready, and switching as you wish.

vulva toys

penis toys

Fantasize. Let your fingers and sex toys help you imagine an intimate date with… who comes to mind? Let yourself explore fantasy scenes and partners. Your brain is your main sex organ, so invite your fantasy to your private party. No fantasy is “wrong,” and no one has to know what images or scenarios turn you on.


Why Are We Reluctant or Embarrassed to Self-Pleasure?

If masturbation is good for our physical, emotional and relationship health, why is it so hard for us to talk about or even think about it? We were brought up during a sex-negative era, meaning that we were taught that sex and sexual desire were shameful, sexual pleasure was never discussed, and our sex education was mainly “don’t do it.”

That applied to masturbation, too, although you’d think a culture that wanted us to delay partner sex would encourage this safe and private outlet. But no, we were taught that our genitals are dirty and we shouldn’t touch them, except for hygienic needs.

We’ve thrown off many restrictive teachings from our early youth, thank goodness. But for many of us, this one is especially tenacious, filled with shame and guilt. Girls, especially, were taught, “Don’t touch yourself down there. It’s dirty.” Can we change that view of ourselves and our needs now? Touching ourselves is healthy — orgasms are good for us, and hurray, we can give them to ourselves.


What To Do If You’re Not Inspired

Our retreating hormones and decreased blood flow make it easy to forget about sex, because there’s less urgency. Yet the less we experience arousal and orgasm, the more difficult it is to get there when we want to. If it’s already difficult for you to arouse yourself to orgasm, that’s a good reason to masturbate more rather than less. Sexual arousal and orgasm bring blood flow to the genitals and help to tone our pelvic floor muscles. The more we do it, the easier it becomes. Give yourself at least a couple of orgasms a week and you’ll feel the difference. You’ll find that the physical arousal will happen that will trigger your emotional arousal, which triggers more physical arousal, until it’s all working just right.


Solo sex is a lovely gift you can give yourself. Instead of seeing it as a poor substitute for partner sex, see it as a celebration that your body is still capable of such delights. Give yourself this gift often, whenever you want. I wish you joy!


Parts of this article first appeared in “A Senior’s Guide to Solo Sex” in Senior Planet, February 2017.

Inya the Rose review

Inya the Rose product next to a garden rose

I think I’m in love. The beautiful and arousing Inya the Rose from Good Vibrations has become a dear friend with benefits. Inya the Rose by NS Novelties combines the pleasures of air pulse technology with powerful vibrations in a compact sex toy that looks like an artistic model of a rose. It’s small, but the sensations are big!

Air pulse technology, if you haven’t experienced it, feels kind of like gentle sucking, nibbling, and pulsing on the clitoris. It’s hard to describe, but luscious to experience!  Combine that with vibrations, and you’re on your way to orgasm.

Here’s how to use it:

  1. Apply your favorite water-based lubricant on and around your clitoris and inner labia and on the top surface of the Rose.
  2. Turn on the Rose by pressing and holding the “water drop in a circle” button for two seconds.
  3. Press the center hole of the Rose to your clitoris. Wiggle it around until your clitoris says, “Oh, yes!” Get a good seal for the most enjoyable sensations.
  4. Press the button quickly to cycle through intensities 1-3 and, if you want them, 7 different rhythmic patterns.
  5. Hold it still, or circle, or twist for different sensations.
  6. Relax and enjoy!
  7. When you’re done, press and hold the button for two seconds to turn it off.

I was astonished by the amount of power in this little thing, and I love that it does not get buzzy when increasing intensity. The small size makes it possible for your or your partner’s fingers to assist if you like vaginal penetration along with clitoral stimulation.


Inya the Rose is made of body-safe silicone. It sits on a magnetic charger for easy USB charging.  The “water drop in a circle” control button lights up during use and while charging. Although designed for the clitoris, Inya the Rose delights sensitive nipples of any gender!


Anything I didn’t like? The packaging is plastic inside a cardboard box, no storage pouch. I know that keeps the cost down, but I do appreciate a storage pouch with my vibrator purchases!

I’ve read an occasional review from a user who complained that her clitoris was too large for this product. Realize that the hole in the center needs to surround only the tip – the rest presses against the surrounding area. However, if you think this might be an issue for you, this product might not be your best choice.


Caveat: There are many rose vibrators on the market – they seem to be a trend now. They’re not the same. I tried another Rose of similar (but not identical) appearance, which I found not only not pleasurable, but actually uncomfortable, because of the design and placement of the petals. I won’t name it, because we’re all different, and it might not feel the same to you. But do your due diligence in reading reviews when you order this or any other sex toy – don’t make your selection because an item is cheaper.


Many thanks to the good folks at Good Vibrations for sending me Inya the Rose in return for an honest review.


In case you’re new to my work, I’ve been reviewing sex toys from a senior perspective since 2007, when I first reviewed the Eroscillator (still one of my top favorites). I’ve been using sex toys since buying my first Magic Wand in the “personal care” department at Macys in the 1970s! I tell that lively story to Kate Lister in the “Sex In Old Age: Myths, Toys & Desire” episode of her marvelous UK podcast, “Betwixt the Sheets: The History of Sex, Scandal & Society.” Give it a listen!