Favorite Sex Toys for Seniors: Gift Guide for Our Lovers and Ourselves

2021 gift picks

 

Kitten with sex toy bag

Bag from The Smitten Kitten

Lucky me, many sex toys cross my path and vie for my reviews from a senior perspective. When I’m not working on a review (“This is work?” you ask. Actually, it is, and also wonderful), I reach for my favorites. Here are the toys that win my current “keep these charged and within reach at all times!” status. A couple have been favorites for decades. Others are new discoveries. All are recommended for our age group, because of their strength, ease of use, and high quality.

Though I can’t promise that you’ll have the same experience I do, I find that these come pretty close to guaranteeing orgasms, even at our age. Check out my sex toy gift guide.

But first —

 

Tips for gift-giving a vibrator

  • Make sure that you’re prioritizing the way your giftee receives pleasure, not what you think they ought to enjoy. Best way to find out? Show your lover this post and ask what they’d like best. Don’t worry about ruining the surprise. Foreknowledge is better than an embarrassing surprise of a vibrator that your giftee doesn’t want and doesn’t like. A gift certificate might be a good choice, if available from your chosen retailer.
  • Absolutely do not look for a cheap knock-off to save some bucks. If you needed a power tool to get a job done, you wouldn’t buy one of unknown origin, from a shady vendor, with no warranty, with parts made of questionable material and a motor that sputters instead of gets the job done, would you? So why would you trust a lover’s intimate parts to a low-quality, short-lived, even potentially chemically toxic product?
  • Buy quality, and please support the folks who care about your health, safety, and pleasure (such as the retailers I link to in the sidebar and in reviews) instead of an unknown vendor or the richest retailer in the world (you know who I mean).
  • If you haven’t treated your own genitals to a special gift lately, find one for yourself as well! Not sure what you’d like? Read How to Choose a Vibrator and answer the questions.

Note that the first mention of each toy below links to my or Shamus’s review of that vibrator, so you can learn more before deciding if it’s for you. Within the original review, links go to retailers that I endorse and that are supportive of my senior sex pleasure and education, not just sales.

 

Joan’s Five Favorite Sex Toys for Vulva Owners

sex toys

Clockwise from top left: Magic Wand, Eco, Eroscillator with 2 attachments, Touch, Kurve

 

magic wand rechargeable

Magic Wand Rechargeable

From my first one purchased in the “personal care” department of Macys to the updated rechargeable version from Good Vibrations, the Magic Wand has been my vulva’s solo sex companion for  half a century.  This version has a large, wipe-clean silicone head, and four speeds. Since it’s rechargeable, no cords to deal with when in use and no need for an outlet. It’s heavy and loud, but it does its one job very, very well, and it’s built to last for years.  This  is the one to reach for when you want super strong clitoral stimulation for an easy orgasm. (Note that it’s an external vibrator, which I have to mention because I get questions about how it fits in a vagina. It doesn’t!)

 

eco from womanizerEco from Womanizer

Eco is a beautiful, environment-friendly, ergonomic clitoral stimulator using “Pleasure Air Technology.” It feels like your clitoris is being gently sucked or nibbled and vibrated at the same time. This model is unusual because all its parts are recyclable. Like all the Womanizer pleasure tools, it’s powerful, and the sensations are unlike any other kind of vibrator. Everything about the Eco is special: the feel, the appearance, even the cotton bag. I recently reviewed three Womanizer models, and all three are treats for your (or your lover’s) clitoris.

 

 

eroscillatorEroscillator

Oh, Eroscillator, let me count the ways! This clitoral stimulator has been my orgasm tool of choice since long before I started writing about sex or reviewing sex toys. I’ve used it joyfully (a) solo; (b) with a partner for clitoral stimulation during intercourse; and (c) for clitoral stimulation during partner-assisted “outercourse.”  Up to 3600 steady “oscillations” a minute make orgasm easy and thrilling. The Eroscillator comes with snap-on attachments so you can vary the shape of the head. My favorite is the “soft finger” (I call it the “marshmallow”) attachment, shown here.  Caveat: it needs to be plugged in during use.

 

touch-x from we-vibeTouch X from We-Vibe

The Touch X is the ideal travel vibrator, whether you’re on a long trip or a hot date. Tiny enough to pack in a pocket or purse, the intensity is surprisingly strong — powerful enough for our slow-burning, senior vulvas. The innovative shape lets you choose to envelop the vulva or use the tip for pinpoint sensation. It’s small enough not to get in the way during penetrative partner sex, too. Compared to older versions of the Touch, this one is even stronger and more rumbly, with improved controls for ease of use. Rechargeable, completely waterproof.

 

Kurve from Hot Octopusskurve from hot octopuss

Oh my goodness, the Kurve, a strong, rumbly vibrator designed for vaginal penetrative pleasure, is my clear winner for  2021 sex toy innovation. The dual motors create a party in  your vagina of  deep, throbby bass vibrations coupled with higher (but not buzzy) treble frequencies. It cuddles the G-spot with intense vibrations yet the pressure at the tip is soft and cushiony. This orgasm tool is for you if your vagina enjoys the feeling of fullness with vibrations, and 1.5 inch diameter of the biggest insertive part isn’t a problem. (I’ve talked to Hot Octopuss about the need for slimmer toys for many senior women — stay tuned!)

I asked Shamus MacDuff to choose his favorite sex toys, too. He selected two recently reviewed favorites and two all-time, never-fail favorites:

Shamus Macduff’s Four Favorite Sex Toys for Penis Owners

Clockwise from top left: Arcwave Ion, JETT, Volta, Nos

jett from hot octopuss

ION from Arcwave

Ion is manufactured specifically to entertain a penis solo. My suggested instructions for your pleasure: (1) Lube the tube; (2) Lube your penis; (3) Insert Penis A in Tube B; (4) Fasten your seatbelt; (5) Find the “magic spot” in the ION tube that initiates the action on your frenulum; (6) Hang on for a ride!

 

 

Jett

JETT from Hot Octopuss

JETT  is purely a penis joy toy. Revel in the sensations of its variable bass and treble motors. Make music using JETT’s 10 vibration patterns. Its flexible sleeve fits over the penis and the two vibrating stainless steel balls scoot underneath. A separate battery-powered control box connects by cords. JETT is my “go-to” masturbation toy.

 

 

volta from fun factory

VOLTA from Fun Factory

The versatile Volta vibrator was made with vulva owners in mind. But my partner and I find that it works wonderfully on a penis, either combined with fellatio or as a well-lubed stroker. Volta also feels marvelous on nipples or any other erogenous zone. It is our prime sex tool when my partner wants to pleasure me and is also fun for solo sex.

 

NŌS from Fun FactoryNŌS from Fun Factory

NŌS is a clever little device that fits on a penis and vibrates at different power levels. The vibrations will make you hard quickly and wearing it as a cock ring will help you keep your erection. Wear the the ring around the base of the penis with the open parts dropping down to provide delightful sensations to the testicles. Or place the ring just behind the ridge at the head of the penis to send thrumming vibrations to the frenulum and the sensitive ridge simultaneously. While marketed for partner play, it’s great for solo pleasure.

Want sex toy education and more choices?

Enjoy my Sex Toys for Seniors webinar

At our age, a well-chosen, well-placed vibrator can mean the difference between orgasm or no orgasm. What do vibrators do that a hand or partner can’t? How do I choose the best one(s)? What if my partner doesn’t want mesex toys for seniors to use a sex toy? Will using a vibrator decrease my sensitivity? Will I become dependent on a vibrator? Are there good sex toys for penises as well as vulvas?

Sex Toys for Seniors webinar includes:

  • Joan’s criteria for evaluating sex toys
  • 8 questions to help you choose your personal vibrator.
  • 5 myths and facts about vibrators.
  • Show-and-tell: Joan’s highly recommended sex toys for seniors.
  • Links for recommended sex toys.

Although this 90-minute webinar was made in 2017, it’s as relevant today, and you’ll likely discover a new favorite (or first favorite!) orgasm tool!

Don’t forget the lube!

For sexy times when you’re not using a silicone sex toy, you can’t beat the smooth, slick feeling of überlube silicone lube. Being silicone, it won’t dry up in use, making it perfect for both penetrative and non-penetrative sex. It’s condom compatible and never sticky. The travel-friendly refillable case with insert makes a great gift for yourself or a lover. I’ve given gifts of überlube to friends who say it immediately became their favorite brand.

It’s fun to try new brands of lubricants. Lucky Bloke  offers many different lubricant sample packs. Choose from silicone, water-based, or flavored. These are great for travel, personal exploration, and to tuck in an overnight bag or purse for a date that might turn special. And if you’re single or not fluid-bonded with your partner(s), Lucky Bloke specializes in condoms of all types, brands, materials, and sizes. Try a sampler pack of condoms.

For use with silicone sex toys, you’ll want to use water-based lubricant. Wicked Sensual Care has a new line called Simply that’s pH-balanced and free of glycerin, propylene glycol, parabens, and fragrance. There are several options, and I especially recommend Simply Aqua Jelle, which is a thicker and longer-lasting formulation.

For an oral sex treat, try the remarkable flavored lubricants from Wicked Sensual Care. My favorite? Mango!  Try one or both of the two Teasers sampler packs — Coffee House mix and Fresh Fruit Mix — with four luscious flavors each. Just between us, these flavored lubes don’t work as lubricants as much as “flavoring” during oral sex because they’re so tasty that you’ll end up slurping up every drop. The recipient of your oral ministrations won’t mind that one bit.

NŌS Vibrating Cock Ring: Review by Shamus MacDuff

NOS

The NŌS is an outstanding new vibrating cock ring from Fun Factory. I have enjoyed it immensely during solo sex. Stretching the ring over a flaccid penis, NŌS quickly brings an erection when the motor is turned on. Moving it to different positions on the shaft yields various pleasing sensations.

My own favorite position is to point the motorized ends downward and inward so that they contact my scrotum. Revving up the power then produces wonderful vibrations all over my genitals. Rub a dab of water-based lube on the frenulum, and an orgasm will soon follow.

Generally, the controls on the center button work well. However, they are somewhat difficult to operate with lubed fingers. The solution is to start NŌS before slipping it onto your penis and before using lube. It’s then easier to change the settings with or without lube on one’s fingers.

The name NŌS derives from the Latin for “we/ours.” It also means “us” in Spanish and Portuguese. This name was chosen specifically to indicate that—in Fun Factory’s marketing lingo—it is “a cock ring for both of you.” “Both of you” clearly refers to a heterosexual couple who wish to “come together” and orgasm simultaneously during penis-in-vagina (PIV) intercourse.

NŌS is designed to facilitate this “coming together.” It fits around the penis and at the same time can hug the partner’s clitoris with its vibrating pincher-like tips. The expectation is that a couple can sync their orgasms. Fun Factory claims that “you’ll climax together harder than ever.”

The likelihood of that happening even occasionally strikes me as a tall order. Especially for us older folks, the chance of both people getting exactly the kind of stimulation they need at that same moment is unlikely and puts unreasonable pressure on the couple — and on the vibrator. Instead, experiment with the variety of ways to use the NŌS, see what feels good to each of you separately, then explore using it during PIV if you wish. Let your goal be pleasure, not a fantasy simultaneous orgasm.

To their credit, Fun Factory mentions several ways to use NŌS other than trying to produce orgasms for two people at the same time, such as wearing it on your hand as a finger vibe for your partner.

NŌS is — as Fun Factory hopes — also effective in partner sex, although not necessarily in the way they emphasize. In what my vulva owning partner and I affectionately call “old people sex,” we seldom engage in PIV, far preferring lots of stroking and oral and manual play. Two ways that we enjoy using it on me:

  • Oral: NŌS is a wonderful adjunct to fellatio. Installing NŌS at the base of my penis, also touching my scrotum, my partner slowly increases the vibration level as oral sex proceeds. She giggles when she feels the NŌS-generated vibrations of my penis transmit to her mouth. What do I feel? Bliss.
  • Manual: My partner holds NŌS in her hand and applies the vibrating double end to sensitive spots on my penis, scrotum, and nipples, which I find very stimulating!

NŌS is a great addition to anyone’s sex toy collection. Don’t expect it to magically provide the rare simultaneous orgasm. But do recognize it as an effective, versatile little sex toy. Some of its many qualities:

  • Made of body-safe silicone
  • magnetic charging buttons

    Waterproof

  • Quiet during use
  • Four speeds plus one pattern
  • Recharging is easy via the included handy magnetic charger.
  • Vibrations are remarkably strong for its small size
  • Ideal size for travel

 

I heartily recommend Fun Factory’s NŌS. You’ll be happy to own one!

 

Note from Shamus MacDuff’s clitoris-owning lover:

Volta

I love Fun Factory toys — especially the Volta and Limba Flex! — but this one did not work for me as a clitoris vibrator. The so-called clit extensions felt hard, and it was too easy to accidentally pinch myself when trying to manipulate it for my own pleasure. I loved using it on Shamus, but for myself, I’ll grab the Volta from my Fun Factory toy bag.

 

Caution: Cock rings are safe when used properly. Wear for no longer than 20 minutes at a time. If it hurts, remove it. Do not use if you have a blood/bleeding condition.

 

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— Shamus MacDuff, age 77, was oblivious to the delights of sex toys for penises until about three years ago. He’s been making up for lost time! Read his other posts here.

Arcwave Ion Review

by Shamus MacDuff

Arcwave Ion ReviewIf you enjoy fellatio from a skilled, pleasure-giving partner, then you will like the Arcwave Ion, a new stroker sex toy for penises that feels more like a blow job than any other sex toy I’ve tried.

The Ion is innovative and unusual. It uses the same Pleasure Air Technology that the Womanizer pioneered for vulva owners, now re-engineered for the penis.

The lower half of the Ion contains the motor and controls, and the upper half is of soft silicone with a ribbed “tunnel” into which the penis is inserted. First, rub some water-based lube inside the tunnel and on your penis. Then situate your frenulum over a round hole in the base. Once the Ion is turned on, you will be also!

The three control buttons are easily accessible and increase or decrease intensity through eight levels. The sensations are so pleasurable and unusual that an orgasm rapidly results. While it works best with an erect penis, the Ion will also accept a flaccid one.Arcwave Ion Review

How Does It Work?

The Pleasure Air Technology sends pulsating airwaves to Pacinian pleasure receptors in the frenulum, producing sucking and massaging sensations that lead to powerful orgasms. Pacinian corpuscles in the frenulum are analogous to those in the clitoris. They are nerve endings in the skin that are highly sensitive to vibration and pressure.

“Female Orgasm for Men”?

 That these corpuscles occur in the frenulum as well as the clitoris has led Arcwave to claim that the Ion produces “a female orgasm for men.” This strikes me as both odd and counterproductive. Odd because it is impossible for one gender to know what another gender’s orgasm feels like. It’s counterproductive because few penis owners—whether gay or straight—wish to experience a female orgasm. The quick, strong male orgasms that the Ion facilitates stand on their own and needn’t imitate female versions. To me, this strange marketing strategy seems to turn Freud’s infamous idea of penis envy on its head.

More Pros:

  • Fully waterproof!
  • The 6-inch long Ion twists apart into two halves for easy cleaning.
  • The Ion comes in a handsome 8-inch-tall hard plastic case that charges the Ion during storage.

Just a Few Cons:

  • The Ion is rather noisy, sounding like a large dog lapping up water (other reviewers have likened the noise to a bike pump or a small pneumatic drill), but that did not detract from my enjoyment.
  • The combination of the Ion and its charging case is bulkier than other penis toys so it would be less convenient to carry in luggage on trips.
  • It is not designed for partnered sex (unless your partner likes to watch).

Bottom Line:

The Arcwave Ion adds a delightful and very interesting new experience for penis pleasuring. The Arcwave Ion joins an outstanding group of other penis toys, such as the Manta from Fun Factory and the JETT and Pulse (in several iterations) from Hot Octopuss.

Personally, I am very happy to have this new toy, and I predict you will be, too. It may just launch your level of pleasure into the ionosphere!

Arcwave Ion Review

 

See the Ion in action

Thank you, Arcwave, for providing the Arcwave Ion in return for an honest review.

— Shamus MacDuff, age 77, was oblivious to the delights of sex toys for penises until about three years ago. He’s been making up for lost time! Read his other posts here.

7 Tips to Spice Up Your Sex Life

sex tips for better sex

I was asked by a reporter for my best sex tips for better sex life during this time of sheltering in place, especially for couples who have been together for a long time. How many of these have you tried?

1. Take turns during sex. Luxuriate in having your partner’s full attention on you, pleasuring you in the ways that turn you on the most. Then after you’re fully satisfied, turn your attention to your partner. By taking turns instead of trying to please both of you with one activity (which might not be what you want at the moment), you get double the pleasure: yours and your partner’s.

2. Relive memories. Cuddle in bed and ask each other, “What do you remember about our first date?” or “What was our first kiss like for you?” or “When did you know you wanted to go to bed with me?” Describing how you felt when your relationship was new can help recapture those fluttery feelings of lust, even if you’ve been together for decades. Your brain is your main sex organ.

3. Try a new sex toy. There’s a world of sexy orgasm tools out there, and each one can arouse you in a new way. While you’re sheltering in place, look at the websites of your favorite sex toy retailer (or discover one of mine in this blog if you don’t have a favorite) and pick out something new. Explore together what it does and how you enjoy using it. Don’t know where to start? My Sex Toys for Seniors webinar is a lively show-and-tell of some of my favorites. Try a new lubricant, too!

4. Use a favorite sex toy in a new way. A vibrator that you use on your clitoris can arouse a penis as well, and nipples, and any erogenous zone. See how many new uses you can find for a toy. Explore! Fun suggestion: blindfold your partner and use a sex toy that your partner doesn’t expect. Or try “Refrigerator Sex“!

5. Gift the penis owner in your life a new vibrator. Whatever your gender, it’s common to need more stimulation for arousal and orgasm as we age. Vibrators for penises such as Hot Octopuss‘s Pulse or JETT  or Fun Factory‘s Manta  can take your penis of choice to a shattering orgasm while you assist or just watch — and they don’t require an erection for use.

6. Exercise together. Exercise increases blood flow to the genitals as well as to the muscles and brain. Dance in the living room. Take a Zoom exercise class together. Power walk around the block. Chase each other through the house. Exercise before sex can rev up your arousal and make orgasm easier!

7. Talk before, during, and after sex about your desires and pleasures. Ask for what you want. Tell partners what you love about what they do to/for/with you. Talk about new things you’d like to try, fantasies you’d like to explore, new ways you’d like to be touched. Your partner wants to please you, so make it easier to know what you want. Communication is sexy!

Do you have your own favorite sex tips for better sex you’d like to share? Tell us in the comments.