sex tips for better sex

I was asked by a reporter for my best sex tips for better sex life during this time of sheltering in place, especially for couples who have been together for a long time. How many of these have you tried?

1. Take turns during sex. Luxuriate in having your partner’s full attention on you, pleasuring you in the ways that turn you on the most. Then after you’re fully satisfied, turn your attention to your partner. By taking turns instead of trying to please both of you with one activity (which might not be what you want at the moment), you get double the pleasure: yours and your partner’s.

2. Relive memories. Cuddle in bed and ask each other, “What do you remember about our first date?” or “What was our first kiss like for you?” or “When did you know you wanted to go to bed with me?” Describing how you felt when your relationship was new can help recapture those fluttery feelings of lust, even if you’ve been together for decades. Your brain is your main sex organ.

3. Try a new sex toy. There’s a world of sexy orgasm tools out there, and each one can arouse you in a new way. While you’re sheltering in place, look at the websites of your favorite sex toy retailer (or discover one of mine in this blog if you don’t have a favorite) and pick out something new. Explore together what it does and how you enjoy using it. Don’t know where to start? My Sex Toys for Seniors webinar is a lively show-and-tell of some of my favorites. Try a new lubricant, too!

4. Use a favorite sex toy in a new way. A vibrator that you use on your clitoris can arouse a penis as well, and nipples, and any erogenous zone. See how many new uses you can find for a toy. Explore! Fun suggestion: blindfold your partner and use a sex toy that your partner doesn’t expect. Or try “Refrigerator Sex“!

5. Gift the penis owner in your life a new vibrator. Whatever your gender, it’s common to need more stimulation for arousal and orgasm as we age. Vibrators for penises such as Hot Octopuss‘s Pulse or JETT  or Fun Factory‘s Manta  can take your penis of choice to a shattering orgasm while you assist or just watch — and they don’t require an erection for use.

6. Exercise together. Exercise increases blood flow to the genitals as well as to the muscles and brain. Dance in the living room. Take a Zoom exercise class together. Power walk around the block. Chase each other through the house. Exercise before sex can rev up your arousal and make orgasm easier!

7. Talk before, during, and after sex about your desires and pleasures. Ask for what you want. Tell partners what you love about what they do to/for/with you. Talk about new things you’d like to try, fantasies you’d like to explore, new ways you’d like to be touched. Your partner wants to please you, so make it easier to know what you want. Communication is sexy!

Do you have your own favorite tips you’d like to share? Tell us in the comments.

3 anal toys

prostate massage toysUntil a year ago, at age 75, my only anal experiences consisted of childhood enemas administered by my mother and prostate examinations given by my doctor. Prostate massage toys never crossed my mind.

In my naiveté I never considered my anus or my prostate to be erogenous zones. But then I read The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure: Erotic Exploration for Men and Their Partners by Charlie Glickman and Aislinn Emirzian, and my curiosity was piqued. Wishing to explore and expand my own sexual repertoire, I obtained three prostate toys: Pleasure Plug 1 from Fuze, Pure Wand from njoy, and Helix Trident from Aneros.

I tried each toy with much trepidation and lots of lube, not knowing what to expect. Those initial experiences were disappointing. I had anticipated an immediate “buzz” or feeling of intense sexual excitement, and when I didn’t, I thought prostate play was not for me.

I left those three toys unused in a drawer for many months. Then, still curious, I read Joan Price’s interview of Charlie Glickman, “Prostate Play for Pleasure and Health. I decided to give the toys another try. This time around, “curiosity thrilled the cat!”

So what had changed?

  • I learned that a host of other prostate owners derive great pleasure from stimulation of the prostate.
  • I realized that I needed to experiment more.
  • I  understood that lying prostrate to access my prostate—the position I’d used in my earlier exploration — wasn’t the best position. If instead I inserted the toy while standing, I could alter its placement easily with a hand free for nipple and/or penis play. Introducing any of the toys into my anus from that position brought my penis almost instantly erect, the more so when I moved the toy around or in and out. None of these actions alone produced an orgasm, but they primed me, and a well-lubed hand job led quickly to ejaculation.

The three toys are different.

  • The Pleasure Plug is essentially a 4-1/2-inch silicone butt plug—it’s straight, only slightly flexible, and because of the shape, it doesn’t prostate toy - Fuze Pleasure Plug reach my prostate.

prostate massage toys

  • The Pure Wand is 7-1/2 inches of stainless steel and weighs a hefty 2 pounds. It is curved, so it can be positioned to touch the prostate directly.
  • prostate toy Aneros Helix TridentThe Helix Trident is 4 inches long, made of non-porous FDA-Approved Acetal plastic. It features a special Aneros design that stimulates multiple anal sites. (See more Aneros prostate massagers here.)

 

Both the Pure Wand and the Helix Trident can be maneuvered to push on, stroke, or massage the prostate to produce extremely pleasurable sensations. Those sensations are quite distinct from penis-oriented ones—they’re deeper, subtler, and more diffuse.

My newfound knowledge led to a fantasy. I imagined how it might feel to insert either the Pure Wand or the Helix Trident while standing erect and having a partner perform fellatio as I wiggled the toy about. To my great joy this fantasy came true! Having inserted the Helix Trident with plenty of lube, I stood over my partner seated on a chair. She played with my penis lovingly while I maneuvered Helix Trident in my anus, and before long I exploded in a wonderful orgasm. The orgasm was so powerful that on release, it mostly extruded the toy!

At age 76 I’ve discovered my prostate and a whole new world of sexual pleasure that I didn’t even know existed. If you experiment, you may also be equally fortunate.

prostate massage toys

 

Shamus MacDuff's butt in underwear

 

Shamus MacDuff, age 76, was oblivious to the delights of sex toys for his own pleasure until about two years ago. He’s been making up for lost time! Read Shamus MacDuff’s other posts.

Hot Octopuss has done it again! Already the standard setter for penis vibrators, the new Pulse Solo Lux pushes the bar even higher. Even if you already own an earlier version of the Pulse, your penis (or your lover’s penis) will thank you for this orgasmic gift.

The difference between the former Pulse models and the Pulse Solo Lux is like a Prius and a Ferrari turbo. Both are great feats of engineering, and both give you a fine ride to your destination. But the Pulse Solo Lux gets you there a whole lot faster, has more gears, and is much more fun to drive. Once you try it, I predict that it’ll become your new com-Pulse-sion.

What makes it so compelling? It has a wristwatch-like separate remote with four icons, and more intensity than any Pulse in history.

  • The “+” and “-” icons control nine speeds up and down.
  • The “0” icon produces five distinct sexy patterns, along with a sixth powerful steady buzz.
  • The crown icon is the Turbo button, 4,450 rpm of power, shifting the speed and your libido into overdrive.

Find your favorite pattern and rock it, shifting speed and intensity. You can also have your partner “take your Pulse” while you do so.

For penises with erectile difficulties, it delivers pleasure whether erect or flaccid or in between, like all Pulse models. The penis rests in the Pulse, ready for sensation. You can stroke with it, hold it steady, or even use it hands-free.

Used on my own, the Pulse Solo Lux quickly brings me to a full erection. On some occasions, my semi-erect penis is so stimulated that I orgasm in that state. Pulse Solo Lux works well with or without lube. It is completely waterproof, so it can be enjoyed in the shower or tub. Like all Hot Octopuss toys, it is made of safe silicone and is easy to clean. It charges magnetically.

After several delightful solo play sessions with this new gem, I invited my partner to enjoy it with me. With a gleam in her eye and a wicked smile, she happily took control of the wrist remote. As she moved through the various combinations, she asked me what felt best. It was highly erotic to lie back and have her at the controls. My favorite pattern, a dash of lube, and my partner’s targeted ministrations led me to a spectacular orgasm.

In 2013, Hot Octopuss released its renowned “guybrator,” the original Pulse. Over the last few years, Pulse II, Pulse III, and the Pocket Pulse (my favorite until last week) followed, each one better than the one before. Now, in late 2019, Hot Octopuss has outdone itself with the wonderful Pulse Solo Lux. Even if you already own an earlier Pulse product, follow your im-Pulse to acquire this marvelous new toy. You won’t regret it!

On a budget? Hot Octopuss has also released the Pulse Solo Essential, with more power than earlier Pulse models, but not as much as the Lux, and without the wrist remote.

JETT by Hot Octopuss

See recent reviews of earlier Hot Octopuss penis vibrators:

Shamus MacDuff, age 76, was oblivious to the delights of sex toys for penises until about two years ago. He’s been making up for lost time! Read his other posts here.

 

 

 

 

Jett

Review of JETT from Hot Octopuss

by Shamus MacDuff 

“Gentlemen, start your engines!” begins the famous Indianapolis 500 automobile race. With the JETT, the wonderful new sex toy for penises from Hot Octopuss, you can start your own engine, and really rev it up.

JETT’s dual engines are vibrating silver bullets powered by four AA batteries. One “engine” contains a motor that produces treble vibrations, and the other yields deeper, more rumbly bass vibrations. What makes this innovation exciting is that you control the intensity of each motor. You can play with and set the levels of treble and bass intensity against 10 built-in vibration patterns to provide a wonderfully wide range of stimulation.

JETT has an expandable, circular silicone sleeve positioned directly above the dual jet engines into which you place your penis — flaccid or erect. The sleeve surrounds the frenulum on one side and the ridge atop the penile head on the other. When JETT revs up, the sensations are multiple and magnificent. The real fun with this toy comes (pun intended) in locating precisely the right treble and bass frequencies, paired with one of the 10 vibration patterns, that launches you into the JETT stream.

soft packer from Good Vibrations

When I used JETT for solo sex, I loved the way I could stretch out the glorious sensations by switching intensities and vibration patterns. I tried it starting with a flaccid penis (flaccid didn’t last long!), and next time with a semi-erect member. JETT’s “dual exhausts” quickly brought me to orgasm in both cases.

I thought JETT was solely for masturbation until my female partner asked to observe it in action. To my immense pleasure, she discovered that fellatio on the protruding tip of my penis sent me into an ecstatic state and rapid ejaculation. So there is a place for JETT in partner sex as well as solo.

dildo from Tantus

Twice when I tried to change from one vibration pattern to another, JETT simply stopped on me, and I had to restart it. Also, be aware that a battery-powered device is not waterproof. But these are minor inconveniences compared to the enormous positives that surround this delightful and fun new sex toy for penises. It is also priced affordably at just $69.

Learn more about the JETT here. Thank you, Hot Octopuss, for providing me with the JETT in return for an honest review.

Shamus MacDuff, age 75, was oblivious to the delights of sex toys for penises until about 1-3/4 years ago. He’s been making up for lost time! Read his other posts here


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