Joan’s injuries 2025
I know that my followers were surprised when I abruptly announced to my subscribers, “No April newsletter” with no explanation. My partner Mac Marshall and I were in a serious (and unavoidable) car crash on April 24, 2025. Mac’s injuries were thankfully minor, but I suffered three neck fractures and deeply bruised ribs and chest.
I was very frightened that the injuries — at age 81, with osteoporosis and a previous neck fracture — were too serious to overcome. But the good news I received yesterday: I’ll be able to make a full recovery!
I was sent home from the ER on 4.25 in a big, uncomfortable neck brace that allowed no neck motion and held me so tightly that I couldn’t even open my mouth enough to chew. I nicknamed it “the cage.” Fortunately Mac is a pro with a blender, so he’s been making me nutritious smoothies and soup purees.
On 5.2, after a week in the cage, I was able to get re-evaluated and, whew, given a smaller size neck collar which is much more comfortable (if “comfortable” is a word that can be used alongside “three neck fractures”). I’ll wear it for another month. Tonight, 5.3, I’ll try to eat solid food! Small steps!
I’m staying at Mac’s for now, and yes, I’m able to sleep — very well in fact — thanks to a reclining La-Z-Boy couch.
I plan to use this blog post as my primary communication personally and professionally, expanding and updating it as I can.
Please feel free to comment – I’d love to hear from you. No medical advice, please, I’m getting excellent care.
Update 1 – 5.5.25:
Something I didn’t include, but should have: the pain has been extreme (wailing, sobbing extreme) when I first stand up after the painkiller (Oxycodone) has worn off. The drug is a lifesaver, and I’m careful to take it only when I absolutely need to. I’m including this because it’s a large part of my reality. My ribs are healing so the pain is only in my neck now, rather than every breath as it was before.
Much of my body was a technicolor display of bruises, and those are healing, too. I’m very grateful that the injuries weren’t worse, and I’m motivated to put in the work to heal.
Your comments make me happy, thank you.
Feel free to share this blog post at will.
Update 2 – 5.8.25:
Wow, thank you, Coaches’ Corner line dancers and California Sister Floral Design & Supply for these beautiful flowers! I can barely express the joy they bring me with their beauty and the sentiment from the dancers. I feel your love on every petal.
You can see from my smile and demeanor that I’m regaining my joie de vivre, feeling less wan and helpless. more capable and optimistic. Pain management is easier, and although it’s a long road ahead, I have pep in my step for getting there. I have professional commitments waiting for me, and fortunately my editors and clients are compassionate and stretching their deadlines to make it easier on me. I feel very lucky – both to be alive, and to be surrounded by compassionate people. Again, shout out to Mac who helps me every day, every hour.
Update 3 – 5.12.25:
Every day is easier. I was advised to try to walk 2,000 steps a day (I was used to 8,000-10,000/day, sometimes more), and as soon as I felt stable enough over the last week, I started trying to beat that by a little more every day. I love goals, in case you don’t know that about me. Yesterday was 5,500 steps! Whether or not you’re an exerciser, please know that movement may be hard at first, but once you get some momentum, it’s a pain reliever and stress reducer — good for your brain as well as your body. Whatever movement you’re capable of, my friends, please pursue it!
I have physical and mental energy spurts now that I didn’t before. I finally feel as though I’m working towards healing, instead of fighting an uphill battle against my injuries, if that makes sense. It will be a long road, but I’m on that road instead of seeing it in the distance.
As always, please feel free to comment. Many thanks for being on Team Joan!
Update 4 – 5.16.25:
Little progress markers mean so much: decreasing my pain meds; increasing my walking time, distance, and speed; pouring my coffee or smoothie into a mug on my own; being able to focus on listening to an extraordinary novel: The Emperor of Gladness by Ocean Vuong. I have work to do that is waiting for me patiently, and I hope my next report tells you that I’m able to get back to it.
I had a talk with one of my closest, dearest people who has been in my life since 1968. He told me about asking a group of elders, “What are you proudest of, but you don’t tell people because it would seem like bragging?” If you care to answer in the comments, I’d love to read it. Thank you for making this a community of kindness.
Stretching at Hidden Valley Park, Santa Rosa, CA
Update 5 – 5.27.25:
I’ve been making progress — more walking (my new record is 8,500 steps in one day), less pain, even a bit of work. In two days I have a phone appointment with my specialist who will evaluate the latest x-ray to see whether my neck fractures have healed enough to remove my 24/7 neck brace. I’ll check in after that appointment. Meanwhile, here’s my newest friend, a neighborhood cat who comes to meet me and get some petting.
So sorry Joan, from my own experience, I know how terrifying this all is, having fractured my neck too. I enjoy your YouTube educational videos and look forward to seeing you again, fully recovered and pain-free. Lost my wife 15 months ago and considering life again. Your information has been of great interest to me, as a male wanting to pleasure a partner again.
I crashed a hang glider in 1977 – smashing C5 & C6, but I was not lucky and ended up needing a wheelchair for 48 years now, as a quadriplegic.
Colin, thank you for your kindness in reaching out when your own injuries were so much more life-altering than mine. If you use the “contact” form (see tabs at top of website), I’d like to offer you something.
Oh Joan, I’m so sorry you’re going through all of this, but am relieved and happy to see you making such wonderful progress.
I hope your recovery continues to go smoothly and you’re back doing all the things you love very soon. Sending big hugs from Australia ❤️
I’m proudest of finally learning how to be me. Figuring out what “being me” means at any given moment has been such a challenge. I’m constantly combatting the desire to be what others thought/think I should be. It’s an ongoing process as life moves and changes but being able to be honest about who I am has opened many wonderful (and often unexpected) doors for me.
Such an important lesson to learn, and to keep on learning, Mitch. Thank you for bringing this up — I’m sure it’s a goal and a work in progress for most of us. I remember reading this in my 20s:
“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best day and night to make you like everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight and never stop fighting.”
– e.e. cummings
What am I proudest of? Easy – my friends. It’s easy to be fiercely loyal to my friends. My friendships have been very rewarding.
What a nasty injury! I’m so glad you’re able to increase your walking already – the best medicine. If your pain isn’t well controlled by now let me know and I’ll share my various experiences. You need to get it controlled – don’t be brave and fight it.
Believe me, I’m not trying to tough out the pain–I’m taking excellent pain killers, and it’s manageable and even comfortable that way, especially combined with increasing my walking as I can.
Hello Joan,
You are such an amazing woman. I’m glad to hear that you’re recovering well and are up and walking – many steps.
You looked great in the picture with the flowers even though you must still be experiencing pain. May the healing continue.
It’s so great to see you up and walking. You’re an inspiration!
You’ve always been a pioneer and a brave and strong soul. Thank goodness the injuries weren’t worse. So glad Mac is there to take care of you. Thank you for the updates. Sending healing thoughts and lots of love.💗
Joan,
I am happy to hear that you are on the road to recovery from your accident. It sounds like it was quite serious. I marvel at how you’re such a trooper to be upping your steps already. You are an inspiration. Since we both focus on sex and aging, let me know if I can assist you in any way. Sending you good thoughts for continual progress.
Just ❤️
When I was recovering from 2 broken Femurs and a busted pelvis movement was key to my recovery. The pain was awful but the more I moved the better I got. The less depressed I became. You keep moving girl and you will feel better. Many hugs and Reiki healings your way.
joan, thank you for this update, and especially for your explanation of working “towards” something rather than pushing away from other things. this really resonates with me- as most everything you say does. : )
i’m going to gently move towards healing and feeling better while allowing myself to rest and recover, instead of pushing so hard away from being sick.
another amazing joanism! <3
It made my day (week, month) to see your latest update. I know how determined you are and how having a goal impels you. So glad you feel that you’re moving forward.
xxxxx!
Sorry you went through something so horrible! You are extremely courageous and I wish you heal fast!
Life has given you yet another “opportunity” to demonstrate your resilience. (It can stop doing that.)
But there you are, peeking out from behind the flowers, a bold and bright Joan. Showing your spirit and determination. Which make you so inspiring.
Here’s to your full recovery, achieved through patience and work. I look forward to seeing you back at the front of class showing us how it’s done.
Big (gentle) hugs.
Oh, Cindy. Your beautiful comment makes me so happy. Being at the front of the class again is my goal!
Last time you returned with walking sticks, ready to teach us new steps. New steps. That’s your mantra. Lifted up with your smile. If you or Mac need any help, I think I’m not too far away.
Just wanted to double check on Mac. Hope his issues are also subsiding. I can’t imagine how difficult this must be for you. I’ve gotten the idea over time, that you are quite active. Healing thoughts going out to you both. How fortunate to have each other in your lives. All the best and healing vibes.
Thanks, Jeffrey. My cuts, bruises, and soft tissue contusions are mostly healed at this point (2 weeks post-crash). Joan is the one who sustained the major injury (neck fracture) so our concern is to help that heal so she can resume her active life. She’s already taking short outdoor walks, and that’s a positive sign.
so, so sorry to hear about a car accident! I’m so glad you & Mac are okay — even though there was some damage and will be some recovery. sending lots of love and healing energy your way. 💕
Joan!!! I am so grateful to know you are ok! This is so very scary! Thank you for sharing your story and your recovery journey. Sounds like Mac is taking excellent care of you. I am wishing you a most speedy recovery. Big hugs! Kelly
Dear Joan,
I was sad to hear about your accident and the injury to your neck. I can only imagine how difficult and painful this must be, and I sincerely hope you are surrounded by love, care, and support as you heal. Please know that you are in my thoughts.
Beyond my concern for your recovery, I want to take a moment to acknowledge the incredible work you’ve done. You are a true pioneer—blazing trails where others may have hesitated, inspiring those around you, and leaving an indelible mark on the world. Your contributions have shaped lives, ideas, and futures in ways that will endure far beyond any single moment.
When I heard about your accident, I couldn’t help but reflect on how much your work means—not only to those who know you, but to people like me who wonder about years ahead. If the worst had happened, the weight of that loss would have been profound. The question of who would carry on your legacy is one that gives pause, but one thing is certain: the influence you’ve had will never fade. You have ignited sparks in others that will continue to grow, carrying forward the spirit of all that you have worked for.
For now, though, the most important thing is your recovery. Take all the time you need, lean on those who care about you, and know that you are cherished. The world needs more of your light, wisdom, and strength.
Wishing you healing, comfort, and peace,
Robert
Oh, Robert, this is exactly what I needed to hear. You can’t know how moved I am by your words. I’m crying, but in a good way. Thank you.
Wow ! Sorry to read this but happy that you are still with us. Hope that you recover quickly, and well.
Glad to see that Mac is your caregiver. Take your time getting back to your routine. Hugs from ne and Anne.
Gentle hugs from me!
Just thinking of you. You are amazing and you got this . All our love and healing thoughts
I’m glad you are on the mend and have a great caregiver!
A full recovery! Yay!
Best wishes!
Wow, I happened to be looking at my own, not very active blog, and saw a comment that you had left there over ten years ago, about my book (Tantric Sex for Busy Couples)! Curious to know what you’re up to, I see that you are indeed still very active – with a temporary setback. Sorry to hear that and glad that full recovery is projected.
So grateful that you are on your way for a full recovery. I’m sure Mac is taking good care of you. Look forward to updates on your journey back to 100%.
oh my goodness you are one tough lady blessings of healing upon you
Much love to you, Joanie!!❤️
I am so sorry to here this. With your will I am sure that you will recover. Incidently I also had a frontal car crash this night, a meeting car came over into my lane, but I could walk home. Driving is always dangerous, but a safer car makes things better. And also selection of the road.
So sorry – heal well!
Oh Joan!! Your resilience and determination are traits I’ve always admired, but I so wish you didn’t have to employ them quite so much! I hope your forays back into solid food bring you some delight, and that your recovery is as easy as possible. So very happy to hear that your prognosis is so good, and that you’re getting such good care, both at home and from the doctors. Sending you so much love.
Somehow I suspect there may be another book emerging from this unwanted event. That’s how you blossom…no need to rush it!! Do some dreaming and rest.
Sorry to hear about your accident Joan, I’m glad to hear you are feeling better and you are getting well looked after by Mac.
I suppose you have now time to research the sex life of people with fractures to their neck. I look forward to reading your findings.👍
Ha ha, thanks for the giggle, Keith!
JoAnne, you’ve always been such a force. Sending you love, admiration, and good juju healing energy vibes.
i’m sending you so much love, light, and healing. i am so grateful you will be ok. i love you, twin!
And you have a sexy care giver
Oh Joan! What a rollercoaster. What a relief to hear you’re on your way to recovery, and are receiving such amazing care. All the best as you continue trailblazing from your recliner.
Speedy healing and big love to you.
I am so glad of the prognosis! And we are all grateful that you have Mac looking after you and that HE did not sustain serious injuries in this accident. Sending love and healing energy!
Take care my dear. Give Mac a kiss from me for being your Angel. ❤️
Oh, my Goodness! Poor Baby! I had vertebral fractures (lower back) some 20-something years ago when a cow butted me. Doctor said I’d never be the same. I’m good.
I could stand, or lie flat. If you’re in a recliner you’re better than I managed. Healing thoughts are coming your way and prayers for comfort.
Omg Joan! I’m so sorry to hear about you car crash. But I am glad you are alive and getting better. If you need me to help with cleaning up your blog again or anything else just let me know.