1/24 update. I published this post in April 2020. I’m getting so many questions about this topic that I’m moving it to the top of my blog.

Seniors often ask me, “What’s the best vibrator?” I’m happy to help, but the answer isn’t that easy. The question usually comes from people who identify as women who never used vibrators in the past, or who tried vibrators but never got attached (so to speak) to them. Now they discover orgasms are elusive, and they need an assist to intensify sensation, ramp up arousal, and reach orgasm.

I’ve reviewed more than a hundred vibrators on this blog over the last decade, and tested many more that I decided not to review. My blog reviews screen for the best vibrators for our age group and give you the pros and cons of each. Despite all my experience, I can’t tell you which one is “best.”  That’s not an inadequacy on my part, it’s because the vibrator that’s best for you depends on many factors.

Your first step is figuring out exactly what you  need. We’re all different, and your own needs and preferences will determine which vibrator will become your best friend.  Let me guide you through how to sort through the many possibilities.

How Do I Get Started With Vibrators?

Start by answering these questions:

  1. How will you use your vibrator? I know, you’ll press it against your sexy bits to give you orgasms, but how and where? Do you want a vibrator that stimulates your clitoris? Goes into your vagina? Does both at the same time? Will you use it solo or during partner sex? Do you want it to double as a back massager?
  2. Do you care what it looks like? Some women want a sex toy to look like a penis. Others really don’t want it to look like a penis. Some want it not to look like a sex toy at all.
  3. How should it feel against your skin? Vibrators can be firm, flexible, cushiony, hard, soft, textured, smooth and any other tactile quality you can think of.
  4. How strong should the vibrations be? Do you want your vibrator to be quiet and whisper-light, turbo power, earth-shaking strong, or something in between?
  5. How much does noise matter? Will you worry that your neighbors in the next apartment or a family member in the next room can hear it?
  6. What size is too big, too small, just right if this is a penetrating toy? Sometimes a size that would have felt perfect 30 years ago is just too girthy and uncomfortable for us now, especially if we’re not having regular penetrative sex.
  7. Do you have mobility restrictions or other physical issues to consider? Is wrist arthritis an issue for holding a vibrator? What position will you be in when you use it?
  8. What else is important to you? This is completely individual. You may want it to be no-brainer easy to use: off, on, that’s it. Or you may relish multiple patterns, rhythms and intensities, and not mind a bit of a learning curve. You may want the controls to be comprehensible by touch without your reading glasses. You may want to travel with it.

Once you’ve answered these questions, you’re ready to start narrowing your choices.

Never underestimate the power of a good orgasm, whether it’s vibrator-assisted or not. At this time in our lives, catching that evasive orgasm can be difficult. Make it easier with the right tool!

 

how to choose a vibrator

How do I Choose the Right Vibrator and Purchase Online?

Read online reviews. I review sex toys from a senior perspective on this blog, taking into consideration intensity, ease of use, body-safe materials, etc.  Click “vibrator review” and keep reading and scrolling until you find those that match your criteria. Links to order from the reputable retailers that I endorse are included within each review. If you’d like to compare several vibrators, choose a retailer from my advertisers and affiliates. (Find their banner links in the right-hand column of my blog if you’re using a computer,  or scroll past a few posts if you’re using your phone.) These folks support me in providing senior sex education to you, and I’ve vetted each one as a high-quality, reputable online store.

The most entertaining way to learn more about some of my favorite sex toys is to view my webinar, Sex Toys for Seniors. In this 90-minute online class, I do a lively show-and-tell, covering these topics:

  • My criteria for evaluating sex toysSex
  • 8 questions to help you choose your personal vibrator.
  • 5 myths and facts about vibrators.
  • Show-and-tell: my highly recommended sex toys for seniors.

Subscribe to my newsletter for a special webinar discount!

 

You’ll also find a ton of sex toy information in my book The Ultimate Guide to Sex after Fifty, including how to buy sex toys made of body-safe materials (the cheaper ones may not be). You’ll also find info on every other senior sex topic!

 

The Womanizer X Lovehoney Pro40 Rechargeable Clitoral Stimulator  from LoveHoney is not a new product, but it’s a popular one which I’ve enjoyed immensely all year and should have reviewed for you sooner. If you’re a fan of “air pulse” technology, or if you’ve never tried it and don’t know what product to start with, you can’t go wrong with this one.

But first, some history:

In March 2015, I met my first Womanizer sex toy. It was a garish, uglywomanizer review thing with an offensive name and a fake jewel control button that stabbed my thumb. I felt the need to tell you this:

Let’s get this part out of the way first — this is the ugliest, tackiest looking sex toy that has ever graced my nightstand. It looks like a design by sixth graders assigned to figure out what a girly ear thermometer might look like…and the name —  Womanizer. Seriously?

But it used a new technology that bestowed orgasms so glorious  that I forgave the appearance, the thumb stabbing, and the name. I described the sensation as “clitoral suction,” though it doesn’t really suckit combines vibration and pulses of air to create the sensation of gentle sucking.

Fast-forward five years. By now, end of 2020, most sex toy connoisseurs have heard of and enjoyed the “air pulse” or “Pleasure Air™” technology from Womanizer, which  boasts several models of different sizes andfortunatelyan updated appearance.  The price has come down. The awful name hasn’t changed, but we’ve gotten used to it. We’ve pretty much divorced the word in our minds from the offensive connotation. (It’s similar to the way we’ve adapted to the name “iPad,” which no longer reminds of of sanitary napkins.)

womanizer review

The Womanizer X Lovehoney Pro40 Rechargeable Clitoral Stimulator is based on an earlier model that was discontinued by Womanizer and has been revived with LoveHoney.

Here’s why I love it:

  • Works really, really well. Put a little water-based lube on the edges of the head and on the clitoris, position the Pro40 so it envelopes the clitoris, trying for a tight seal, turn it on, and relax into the sensations. Turn up the intensity as you need it until there’s no place to go but over the moon.
  • 6 intensity levels from delicate to “yowza!” Start with mild sensation and build up as you get aroused. There are no patterns, which suits me, because I prefer strong and steady without the distraction of rhythmic variations.
  • Buttons you can see, feel, and understand even with lube-slick fingers. I’m irked when otherwise great toys need a strong light and reading glasses to figure out the controls. The Womanizer Pro40 has raised buttons and big labels, and nothing extra to confuse you.
  • Lightweight and ergonomic. Comfortable to hold.
  • Waterproof. Use it in the shower or bath, just be aware that it makes a funny noise* in water which may cause laughter instead of arousal (or maybe that’s just me).
  • Easy to clean. Just remove and wash the head and wipe lube off the rest.
  • USB Rechargeable.

* Speaking of noise, yeah, there’s noise. On a low setting, it’s practically silent, but rev it up and it gets loud. With lube, if you don’t have a snug seal over your clitoris, it makes a slurping sound. Just adjust the fit and the slurping stops, but it’s still loud. My solution for you if noise is a problem: send household members outside to walk the dog while you attend to yourself.

Some Womanizer models come with two interchangeable heads of slightly different size and design, so that you can choose the best fit for your body.  The original Pro40 did this, too. This one, however, has only one head.

Caveat: Do not use if you have a pacemaker.

Many thanks to LoveHoney, the sexual happiness people, for sending me the Womanizer X  Pro40 Rechargeable Clitoral Stimulator.

womanizer review

senior sex toys

I’m often asked what I mean when I say that I review sex toys “from a senior perspective.” What’s a “senior perspective” and how do our senior needs differ from younger folks?

Here are my criteria:
  • We need vibrators that can go as long as we need to arouse our slow-burning bodies without overheating or running out of charge.
  • We want ergonomic sex toys that don’t strain arthritic wrists.
  • We need sex toys made from body-safe materials. (Aren’t they all? No.)
  • Vulva owners who enjoy vaginal penetration may require a slim fit for comfort.
  • Penis owners with erectile challenges need sex toys that don’t require an erection to use it.
  • We want to see and differentiate the controls without putting on our reading glasses.
  • We want to be able to adjust the controls by touch, despite slippery, lubed fingers.
  • Above all, we need intensity: strong vibrations. We’re battling our (lack of) hormones, people.

Joan Price showing the PulseThat’s why I say I review sex toys from a senior perspective. Is there anything you would add to my list?

To see the whole list of vibrators and other sex toys reviewed on this blog, click here. Keep scrolling to “older posts,” because I’ve reviewed a lot of them! You’ll also find my webinar “Sex Toys for Seniors” informative and enjoyable.

I welcome your comments on my reviews, whether you agree or disagree. I’m just one person, and our preferences vary. Whether a toy works for me may depend on “fit” as well as preference, and it’s useful for all of us if you post your own experience  in the comments section.

Sex toys for seniors webinar

7/19/2020: I’m updating this post from 2011 to answer a reporter’s question. You might have wondered this also!

We-Vibe MeltOh, oh, oh, the We-Vibe Melt! This “Pleasure Air stimulator” surrounds the clitoris with vibrating pulses of air that feel to me like gentle, rhythmic sucking — the best kind of gentle, rhythmic sucking: the fast-to-orgasm kind of gentle, rhythmic sucking.

But when I say “gentle,” I don’t mean mild or wimpy. The 12 — count ’em, 12! — intensity levels are powerful enough for those of us with aging bodies that require extra sensation.

I’ve enjoyed other Womanizer “air pulse” vibrators immensely (read my reviews here), and those came with two removable heads for optimal fit and easy cleaning. The We-Vibe Melt is all one piece. Can one size fit all?

I don’t know the answer to that — but yes, it worked for me, and I’ve read only positive reviews from others. Positioning it took a bit of effort the first time, and when it slid off-course, the vibrating lube noise made me laugh. Once I got it situated correctly and knew how much pressure to apply to keep it from sliding, it was pure pleasure.

The Melt’s shape is ergonomic. It’s smooth and easy to hold without crooking an arthritic wrist. It’s slim enough to use between two bodies during partnered sex, and delightful to use solo.

The controls are clear and easy to feel and see without any need for reading glasses. Turn it on and increase intensity with the “+” button; turn it down and off with the “-” button. Charge it easily via a magnetized USB connector.

Although I didn’t test this, preferring to control my own vibrator, the Melt also has the “We-Connect” app that lets a partner control the intensity and patterns from a Bluetooth-paired smart phone.

At age 76 now, I’ve been around the block. This pleasure tool takes me around the world. How lucky that we’re getting old during a time of high-tech vibrators like the We-Vibe Melt! Get one for yourself directly from We-Vibe.

 

 

Thank you, We-Vibe, for sending me the Melt in return for an honest review.