senior sex toys

I’m often asked what I mean when I say that I review sex toys “from a senior perspective.” What’s a “senior perspective” and how do our senior needs differ from younger folks?

Here are my criteria:
  • We need vibrators that can go as long as we need to arouse our slow-burning bodies without overheating or running out of charge.
  • We want ergonomic sex toys that don’t strain arthritic wrists.
  • We need sex toys made from body-safe materials. (Aren’t they all? No.)
  • Vulva owners who enjoy vaginal penetration may require a slim fit for comfort.
  • Penis owners with erectile challenges need sex toys that don’t require an erection to use it.
  • We want to see and differentiate the controls without putting on our reading glasses.
  • We want to be able to adjust the controls by touch, despite slippery, lubed fingers.
  • Above all, we need intensity: strong vibrations. We’re battling our (lack of) hormones, people.

Joan Price showing the PulseThat’s why I say I review sex toys from a senior perspective. Is there anything you would add to my list?

To see the whole list of vibrators and other sex toys reviewed on this blog, click here. Keep scrolling to “older posts,” because I’ve reviewed a lot of them! You’ll also find my webinar “Sex Toys for Seniors” informative and enjoyable.

I welcome your comments on my reviews, whether you agree or disagree. I’m just one person, and our preferences vary. Whether a toy works for me may depend on “fit” as well as preference, and it’s useful for all of us if you post your own experience  in the comments section.

Sex toys for seniors webinar

7/19/2020: I’m updating this post from 2011 to answer a reporter’s question. You might have wondered this also!

Seniors often ask me, “What’s the best vibrator?” I’m happy to help, but the answer isn’t that easy. The question usually comes from people who identify as women who never used vibrators in the past, or who tried vibrators but never got attached (so to speak) to them. Now they discover orgasms are elusive, and they need an assist to intensify sensation, ramp up arousal, and reach orgasm.

I’ve reviewed more than a hundred vibrators on this blog over the last decade, and tested many more that I decided not to review. My blog reviews screen for the best vibrators for our age group and give you the pros and cons of each. Despite all my experience, I can’t tell you which one is “best.”  That’s not an inadequacy on my part, it’s because the vibrator that’s best for you depends on many factors.

Your first step is figuring out exactly what you  need. We’re all different, and your own needs and preferences will determine which vibrator will become your best friend.  Let me guide you through how to sort through the many possibilities.

How Do I Get Started With Vibrators?

Start by answering these questions:

  1. How will you use your vibrator? I know, you’ll press it against your sexy bits to give you orgasms, but how and where? Do you want a vibrator that stimulates your clitoris? Goes into your vagina? Does both at the same time? Will you use it solo or during partner sex? Do you want it to double as a back massager?
  2. Do you care what it looks like? Some women want a sex toy to look like a penis. Others really don’t want it to look like a penis. Some want it not to look like a sex toy at all.
  3. How should it feel against your skin? Vibrators can be firm, flexible, cushiony, hard, soft, textured, smooth and any other tactile quality you can think of.
  4. How strong should the vibrations be? Do you want your vibrator to be quiet and whisper-light, turbo power, earth-shaking strong, or something in between?
  5. How much does noise matter? Will you worry that your neighbors in the next apartment or a family member in the next room can hear it?
  6. What size is too big, too small, just right if this is a penetrating toy? Sometimes a size that would have felt perfect 30 years ago is just too girthy and uncomfortable for us now, especially if we’re not having regular penetrative sex.
  7. Do you have mobility restrictions or other physical issues to consider? Is wrist arthritis an issue for holding a vibrator? What position will you be in when you use it?
  8. What else is important to you? This is completely individual. You may want it to be no-brainer easy to use: off, on, that’s it. Or you may relish multiple patterns, rhythms and intensities, and not mind a bit of a learning curve. You may want the controls to be comprehensible by touch without your reading glasses. You may want to travel with it.

Once you’ve answered these questions, you’re ready to start narrowing your choices.

Never underestimate the power of a good orgasm, whether it’s vibrator-assisted or not. At this time in our lives, catching that evasive orgasm can be difficult. Make it easier with the right tool!

 

how to choose a vibrator

How do I Choose the Right Vibrator and Purchase Online?

Read online reviews. I review sex toys from a senior perspective on this blog, taking into consideration intensity, ease of use, body-safe materials, etc.  Click “vibrator review” and keep reading and scrolling until you find those that match your criteria. Links to order from the reputable retailers that I endorse are included within each review. If you’d like to compare several vibrators, choose a retailer from my advertisers and affiliates. (Find their banner links in the right-hand column of my blog if you’re using a computer,  or scroll past a few posts if you’re using your phone.) These folks support me in providing senior sex education to you, and I’ve vetted each one as a high-quality, reputable online store.

The most entertaining way to learn more about some of my favorite sex toys is to view my webinar, Sex Toys for Seniors. In this 90-minute online class, I do a lively show-and-tell, covering these topics:

  • My criteria for evaluating sex toysSex
  • 8 questions to help you choose your personal vibrator.
  • 5 myths and facts about vibrators.
  • Show-and-tell: my highly recommended sex toys for seniors.

Subscribe to my newsletter for a special webinar discount!

 

You’ll also find a ton of sex toy information in my book The Ultimate Guide to Sex after Fifty, including how to buy sex toys made of body-safe materials (the cheaper ones may not be). You’ll also find info on every other senior sex topic!

 

We-Vibe MeltOh, oh, oh, the We-Vibe Melt! This “Pleasure Air stimulator” surrounds the clitoris with vibrating pulses of air that feel to me like gentle, rhythmic sucking — the best kind of gentle, rhythmic sucking: the fast-to-orgasm kind of gentle, rhythmic sucking.

But when I say “gentle,” I don’t mean mild or wimpy. The 12 — count ’em, 12! — intensity levels are powerful enough for those of us with aging bodies that require extra sensation.

I’ve enjoyed other Womanizer “air pulse” vibrators immensely (read my reviews here), and those came with two removable heads for optimal fit and easy cleaning. The We-Vibe Melt is all one piece. Can one size fit all?

I don’t know the answer to that — but yes, it worked for me, and I’ve read only positive reviews from others. Positioning it took a bit of effort the first time, and when it slid off-course, the vibrating lube noise made me laugh. Once I got it situated correctly and knew how much pressure to apply to keep it from sliding, it was pure pleasure.

The Melt’s shape is ergonomic. It’s smooth and easy to hold without crooking an arthritic wrist. It’s slim enough to use between two bodies during partnered sex, and delightful to use solo.

The controls are clear and easy to feel and see without any need for reading glasses. Turn it on and increase intensity with the “+” button; turn it down and off with the “-” button. Charge it easily via a magnetized USB connector.

Although I didn’t test this, preferring to control my own vibrator, the Melt also has the “We-Connect” app that lets a partner control the intensity and patterns from a Bluetooth-paired smart phone.

At age 76 now, I’ve been around the block. This pleasure tool takes me around the world. How lucky that we’re getting old during a time of high-tech vibrators like the We-Vibe Melt!

 

 

Thank you, We-Vibe, for sending me the Melt in return for an honest review.

Hot Octopuss has done it again! Already the standard setter for penis vibrators, the new Pulse Solo Lux pushes the bar even higher. Even if you already own an earlier version of the Pulse, your penis (or your lover’s penis) will thank you for this orgasmic gift.

The difference between the former Pulse models and the Pulse Solo Lux is like a Prius and a Ferrari turbo. Both are great feats of engineering, and both give you a fine ride to your destination. But the Pulse Solo Lux gets you there a whole lot faster, has more gears, and is much more fun to drive. Once you try it, I predict that it’ll become your new com-Pulse-sion.

What makes it so compelling? It has a wristwatch-like separate remote with four icons, and more intensity than any Pulse in history.

  • The “+” and “-” icons control nine speeds up and down.
  • The “0” icon produces five distinct sexy patterns, along with a sixth powerful steady buzz.
  • The crown icon is the Turbo button, 4,450 rpm of power, shifting the speed and your libido into overdrive.

Find your favorite pattern and rock it, shifting speed and intensity. You can also have your partner “take your Pulse” while you do so.

For penises with erectile difficulties, it delivers pleasure whether erect or flaccid or in between, like all Pulse models. The penis rests in the Pulse, ready for sensation. You can stroke with it, hold it steady, or even use it hands-free.

Used on my own, the Pulse Solo Lux quickly brings me to a full erection. On some occasions, my semi-erect penis is so stimulated that I orgasm in that state. Pulse Solo Lux works well with or without lube. It is completely waterproof, so it can be enjoyed in the shower or tub. Like all Hot Octopuss toys, it is made of safe silicone and is easy to clean. It charges magnetically.

After several delightful solo play sessions with this new gem, I invited my partner to enjoy it with me. With a gleam in her eye and a wicked smile, she happily took control of the wrist remote. As she moved through the various combinations, she asked me what felt best. It was highly erotic to lie back and have her at the controls. My favorite pattern, a dash of lube, and my partner’s targeted ministrations led me to a spectacular orgasm.

In 2013, Hot Octopuss released its renowned “guybrator,” the original Pulse. Over the last few years, Pulse II, Pulse III, and the Pocket Pulse (my favorite until last week) followed, each one better than the one before. Now, in late 2019, Hot Octopuss has outdone itself with the wonderful Pulse Solo Lux. Even if you already own an earlier Pulse product, follow your im-Pulse to acquire this marvelous new toy. You won’t regret it!

On a budget? Hot Octopuss has also released the Pulse Solo Essential, with more power than earlier Pulse models, but not as much as the Lux, and without the wrist remote.

JETT by Hot Octopuss

See recent reviews of earlier Hot Octopuss penis vibrators:

Shamus MacDuff, age 76, was oblivious to the delights of sex toys for penises until about two years ago. He’s been making up for lost time! Read his other posts here.