Hurdling the Generation Gap: Talking to Younger People about Senior Sex

I recognize the culturally pervasive “ick factor,” as I call it, in the way the media and most young and even middle-aged folks view the idea of the older generation still having and enjoying sex. I think it’s important to create a respectful dialogue whenever possible, so I’m delighted when a young person contacts me to convey a sincere interest in senior sexuality.

“C4bl3Fl4m3” (see photo), who tells me I can call her “CableFlame,” is 25 years old. She writes,

Human sexuality is my main professional and academic interest, and I’m always particularly interested in parts of sexuality that aren’t addressed very much. And one never hears about sex after 50 or after 60. Especially not at my age. Heck they never even mentioned that in my “comprehensive” sex ed class in school. All they teach us is what they think we need to know right then, for sex at the time as a teenager. We’re not given the tools we need to make choices as adults or as seniors. Our sexual knowledge needs change as we get older, enter committed relationships, enter into casual sex relationships, get married or enter into a civil or holy union, (some of us) enter into polyamorous relationships, leave our relationships, and generally age.

So I’m interested in sex in general and sex while aging is part of that. I do recognize that just because people get older, they don’t stop having sex. It’s uncomfortable for a lot of younger people to think about, but it’s part of life.

I’m curious what it might be like for me when I get older. I like going into things prepared, and so I’m curious about older sexuality. I’d love to read an article or have you talk some on your blog about kink/BDSM and aging. I’m sure there are plenty of older people who enjoy it (especially as the Baby Boomer kinksters are reaching retirement age) and it would be interesting to see how it’s the same and different for them, both in terms of desire and in terms of what’s physically safe and what has to change.

I welcome your comments about CableFlame’s questions, and I’d also like to know what you’d like young adults to understand about senior sexuality. It’s up to us to talk out loud about our attitudes, if not our activities, if we’re going to make a dent in the sound barrier surrounding older-age sex!

1 Comment

  1. paula, age 55 on January 16, 2008 at 10:13 pm

    Hi C4bl3Fl4m3,

    I’ve just been reading your comments recently posted, and they confirm my initial impression of you.

    What a splendid and wise young woman you are! At only 25 you’re already aware of the variety, dimensions and complexities of human sexuality. As a woman you has a good understanding of what makes men tick.

    A healthy curiosity about sex as you age will serve you well in your life!

    I want to share some thoughts and pass along some maybe new information, but I’m still working on keeping this relatively short. (I think I’m writing a book and just don’t know it yet.) I’ll be back.

    It’s great to have company in the comment department! Also thanks for posting the url for contacting you directly. I’m looking forward to reading your articles.

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