Sexy New Year’s Resolutions 2025

Do you want to make some changes in your sex life?

These Sexy New Year’s Resolutions will make a big difference, and they’re easy and fun to put into action. I first compiled these tips in 2018, now updating in 2025. Some come from my Senior Planet Ask Joan columns, others from my newsletter. What would you add or change? Please comment!

 

Redefine Sex. What brings us sexual pleasure and possibility is different at our age. That’s a feature, not a defect! Broaden your definition of sex to whatever activities arouse you and bring you sexual pleasure, partnered or solo. Embracing a new definition of sex expands your options for pleasure. Read this account of one reader’s experience.

Track the Tingle. For quicker, easier, and more satisfying arousal, figure out what time of day you feel most sexually responsive. When you feel the “tingle” – that quiver of erotic possibility – set aside time to indulge yourself sexually or schedule that time on your next free day.

Use Lubricant. A lubricant that keeps you moist and slick will increase comfort and intensify your pleasure. Use lube liberally both solo and with a partner, and reapply frequently. For health and pleasure, choose Wicked Sensual Care simply® timeless, created for our age group.

Just Do It. This is for you if you enjoy sex when you do it, but you rarely feel desire in advance. You’re experiencing “responsive desire”: your desire follows physiological arousal and pleasure instead of preceding it. So open yourself to engaging with your pleasure, and your desire will kick in.

Schedule Weekly Orgasms. If we waited until sex happened spontaneously, we might never have another orgasm. Schedule sex at least weekly, partnered or solo. The sexy anticipation –mental foreplay! — makes it even hotter when it happens.

Enjoy Sex Toys. Our hormonally challenged bodies may need extra help to reach orgasm. A well-chosen, well-placed vibrator can be the difference between orgasm and no orgasm. Start with “Vibrators for Seniors – especially for first-timers,” then read the many sex toy reviews in this blog to help you choose. Enjoy my “Sex Toys for Seniors” webinar.

Self-Pleasure Frequently. Solo sex is real sex, and it’s good for your general health, your sexual health and your sense of well-being. Give yourself solo orgasms, whether you’re in a relationship or not. You’re celebrating your body’s ability to give you exquisite pleasure.

Exercise Before Sex. Increasing your blood flow with physical activity isn’t only good for the heart and muscles — it’s also good for sexual function and pleasure. One of the best things we can do to speed up arousal and orgasm is regular exercise, especially before sex.

Sex Before Food. Eating before sex sends the blood flow to your digestive system instead of your genitals. Have sex first, then eat. Sexual arousal will be easier, orgasms will be more reliable, and you will relish that meal afterward.

Use Your Words. Learning to talk about sex is the key to getting what you want. A long-term partner is likely to continue doing what used to work, even if it doesn’t work for you now, unless you redirect the action. A new partner wants to know how to please you. Speak up.

Have Sex More Often. Difficulty with arousal and orgasm is a good reason to have more sex, not less. The penis and the clitoris require blood flow for engorgement. The more you engage in stimulation – partnered or solo — the more easily the blood flows to the genitals.

Use Safer Sex. If you’re sexual with new partners, use barrier protection. Many people with sexually transmitted infections (STIs) either don’t know or don’t tell. Use barrier protection (condoms for intercourse and fellatio, dental dams for cunnilingus). Please view my free webinar, Safer Sex for Seniors with Joan Price.

Enlist Help. If you’re having sexual problems in your relationship, see a sex therapist (find one in your location) or a sex-savvy counselor. Therapy will help you identify the underlying issues, teach you how to communicate more effectively, and give you new strategies.

Talk to Your Doctor. Difficulty with arousal, erections, orgasm, or pain requires medical attention. Practice this “medical mantra” for help bringing up the subject with your doctor. If your doctor is dismissive or unable to help, ask for a referral to someone who is more knowledgeable about your concern and more accepting of you as a sexual being.

 

Which of these are you already doing? Which ones will you put into action this year?  Leave your thoughts and ideas in the comments below.