Ottawa Sun: “right into the nitty-gritty”

I love this article by lifestyle columnist Ann Marie McQueen in the Ottawa Sun today!

Ageless Sex Advice
Author touting the benefits of nookie after 60 during stop at local adult shop
By Ann Marie McQueen, Ottawa Sun

After I suggest to California author Joan Price she seems to have landed the world’s greatest sixtysomething man — scratch that, the greatest man of any age — she launches right into the nitty-gritty.

They’re out there, says the author of Better Than I Expected:Straight Talk About Sex After Sixty, who is coming to Ottawa this weekend to give two workshops on the topic at downtown sex shop Venus Envy.

The men she speaks of, like her Robert, came of age in the 1960s too, and many of them want to be with their female contemporaries, want to find ways to make sex good with them, no matter what their aging bodies say about it, says Price.

She gathers steam as she describes such men, who will listen as women say things like, “let’s see what we can do about my thinning vaginal tissues, about my lack of lubrication.”

She stops suddenly.

“This may be too frank for you.”

“No, no,”I say, realizing I had starting chuckling out loud right about the time Price said “thinning vaginal tissues.”

“It’s fine.”

“You all right?”she says once more, sweetly, before forging ahead ” — what can we do about my slow arousal, what can we do about the time it takes to reach orgasm?”

If you are below 50, and before you start going ‘ewwww’ at the priceless Price, it might be time to think about where your own life is headed. That’s right. Straight to 60, and beyond. Might be time to pay attention. And ditch the attitude, such as the kind embodied in Louise Rafkin’s article for the San Francisco Chronicle magazine, headlined “Now that Baby Boomers have discovered there’s sex after 60, could they please stop writing about it?”

It’s not very likely Price is going to do anything of the kind. In fact, she’s made it her mission to speak on it as much, and as frankly, as possible.

“If you want to be a sexual person, you’ve gotta really make a commitment to it, you’ve really gotta say, ‘I’m gonna love my wrinkles, I’m gonna love my sags, I’m gonna love my partner’s wrinkles and sags and we’re gonna find ways to rejuvenate the relationship,’ ” she said.

While the one-time English teacher, fitness professional and author was penning Better, Gail Sheehy would be building on the success of her book Passages 30 years ago with Sex and the Seasoned Woman, which was all over the morning TV shows, Internet and newspapers when it came out in January.

Fitting, really, considering Price blames the media for the dim light cast on aging women.

“It has never portrayed the older woman as sexy, understanding herself, self-confident, self-knowledgeable, self-affirming and that that’s a good thing,” says the California-based Price.
If women are shown as sexual when they are older, it’s either perceived as ground-breaking (Diane Keaton in Something’s Gotta Give) or predatory and pathetic (a turn by actress Holland Taylor on Boston Legal’s predecessor The Practice). They are invisible in magazines, says Price, who is determined to build on the current wave of awareness.

“I want it to seem normal for one,” she says, “and I want people who have not come out of the woodwork to talk about it, and they are.”

Price’s perky, inspirational book offers not academic theories but practical expertise. It is filled with concrete tips — say, instructions for how to use a vibrator — and she’s-been there-anecdotes about everything from exercise, to hormone replacement therapy.

She’s even delighting in holding her Straight Talk About Sex After Sixty workshops in new-generation adult stores like Venus Envy. Drawing people who’ve never visited them, helping them realize the sex-related treasures they hold, is another of Price’s goals.

“They are places filled with joy and laughter, and the attitude that sensuality and sexuality are great pleasures for us,” she said. “And they are just showing us ways we can enhance those pleasures.”

Price will give two workshops this weekend, each from 6:30-8:30 p.m. Saturday’s is open to women and men, while Sunday’s is limited to women. The cost is $25. For information, call the store at 789-4646.