Men & Women Talk about Sex and Aging
Good Vibrations in Berkeley was alive last night with the voices of women and men sharing their sexual feelings and experiences at my “Ask Me, I’ll Tell You: Women and Men Talk about Sex and Aging” workshop.Thank you, participants, for your candor and respectful acceptance of what everyone else had to say. I hope you left the workshop as I did — flying high on the excitement of the evening and filled with the ideas you shared with me and each other.
Two hours flew by much too quickly, and the #1 complaint was “not enough time!” So let’s keep talking! Here are a few of the questions we discussed, including those that you asked, but we ran out of time before discussing. Go ahead and post a comment with your thoughts, and we’ll keep the discussion going.
Questions for the men:
– What do you fantasize about, and how do you like to incorporate fantasy into your sex life?
– Why don’t many men find women sexy as they get older, and how can older women become more desirable?
– How do you experience your sexuality and sexual response as you get older?
– What are your fears about aging and sex?
Questions for the women:
– How can men establish sexual communication (e.g. talking about foreplay, oral sex, anal sex)?
– What can men do to help women keep lubrication?
– What should men know about women in order to turn them on sexually and maintain sexual arousal?
– What are your fears about aging and sex?
We’ll be repeating this workshop in Sebastopol this fall and at Good Vibrations this winter. (If you would like me to bring this workshop to your location, please email me and let’s talk.)
Some comments about Joan’s workshop from participants:
“Thank you for your candor and expertise” (Lisa, 55)
“A great candid comparison of people of similar interests and concerns” (David, 66)
“Love to hear the open discussion” (Judy, 62)
“The group exercises were excellent” (Steve, 45)
“I found this group to be especially open and intellectual and positive. You have a great deal to share that will improve many lives.” (Fay, 66)
“You should be on Oprah!” (Anne, 50)
[Photo by Constance Cavallas, published with permission]
Thanks, Pizza and Anne. I’m planning a couple of 3-hour workshops in Sebastopol — one for both men and women; one for women only — perhaps on a Saturday afternoon. I’ll announce them here. Meanwhile, if any readers want to be sure to be contacted when the schedule is set, let me know.
— Joan
I was at your workshop at Good Vibrations and had a great time. I left feeling uplifted and less depressed about the changes I am noticing in my sex life.
It is true that things are different as we age and your workshop helped me realize that different doesn’t necessarily mean worse—it can mean better! Change is inevitable and we need to work with it. Certainly I feel more comfortable talking about sex and communication seems easier than when I was younger.
I want you to know that I wrote Oprah about you and I am going to tell my girlfriends about your book and workshop.
I hope you will continue your “mission’, and I would like to see a full day workshop for men and women much like the one we had but with more time for discussion and sharing. It was very beneficial for me, and I think everyone involved.
Blessings,Joan. Thank you for your work!
The workshop was excellent. We both came home inspired and willing to schedule a date night one or more times each week with more time for love making.
It’s an excellent improvement.