LELO’s GIGI: slim, smooth, sensual

By Joan Price | November 14, 2012 |
This review was originally written in 2009. I updated it November
2012. GIGI has become a favorite sex buddy, one I reach for
regularly even though I have many dozen to choose from after reviewing
sex toys from a senior perspective for four years!  Sex-toy designers are catching on to the notion that sexual enhancement products (okay, vibrators) that work best for women’s anatomy might not be in the shape of a penis (or dolphin, rabbit, and so on) but rather a design that actually fits the way we’re shaped and makes contact with our hot spots most effectively. As we age, our bed buddy also needs to be pleasant to hold for an extended time without inflaming arthritic wrists or burning out before we do.

I’ve had the pleasure of testing the lovely GIGI “sensual pleasure object” from LELO. The rechargeable GIGI specializes in G-spot stimulation, and indeed the flared shape at the tip easily locates, stimulates, and hugs my G-spot. Great design!

It’s also dandy for clitoral stimulation. If you like both, just alternate placement, or use a clitoral vibrator while the GIGI is vaginally inserted — which is what I do. The curved shape makes it easy to keep GIGI inserted and out of the way when you’re using another vibrator on your clitoris.

I love the shape and size — not girthy (so helpful for post-menopausal vaginas), shaped for easy insertion, flared for the best sensation. The velvety silicone surface “tugs” a little when you move it in and out, a most pleasurable sensation.

Choose from five intensities/modes, or vary as your arousal
increases. I would have liked just one more, extremely intense setting,
but for the size, it’s amazing.

It’s also quiet, in case the grandkids are in the next room. The part that
does its magic is available in rose (pictured, though it’s not as
shocking a color as my point-and-shoot camera thinks), turquoise, or
“petal pink” to match the decor or your lingerie, or make it easy to find in the toy box. A lovely product!

Use a water-based lubricant. Don’t use a silicone-based lubricant with silicone toys — it can degrade the toy and make it tacky.

As you’ll see from other recent sex-toy reviews, we now have a swell selection to choose from or alternate, if you like variety. Thank you, designers, and enjoy, dear readers!

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Staying Sexy in an Aging Body: Joint Pain

By Joan Price | November 2, 2012 |

You can’t ignore joint pain — but don’t let it push you into avoiding sex! When sexual positions and activities worsen pain, we can find props and positions that work for us so we feel the pleasure, not the pain. Julie Weingarden Dubin interviewed me about sex and joint pain for Grandparents.com, and the interviewgot me thinking about more tips I’d like to share with you. Here they are.

What can we do to minimize joint pain before and during sex?

  • Schedule sex! Spontaneity is vastly overrated when it comes to sex at our age! We get more pleasure if we plan for it, and that’s true for avoiding joint pain especially. Make a “sex date” in advance, whether you’re newly dating or long-time partners. This way, you can both anticipate it and make time for it, which raises the pleasure and decreases the stress. Turn off the phone ringer, the computer, the gadgets, lock the door, and just enjoy each other.
  • Time your anti-inflammatory medication so it kicks in before your “sex date.”
  • Get some physical exercise before getting naked. This lubricates the joints and gets you in touch with your physicality. Dance, walk, cycle, do yoga — whatever you like to do.

  • Get a supportive sex cushion (no kidding, they exist) to make any position more comfortable. For example, the Wedge by Liberator is terrific for assisting back, hips, knees. 

  • Have lots of warm-up/ foreplay/ arousal in a comfortable position. This
    way you’ll need less time in a less comfortable position when you get to
    it.
  • Use a sex toy to hasten orgasm, minimizing the time in a less comfortable position or action. For example, if your partner likes manual stimulation (and who doesn’t?), but that hurts your arthritic wrist or hands, use a sex toy to help out. A vibrating cock ring or masturbation sleeve for the man doesn’t require the partner’s wrist. For the woman, try one of the many vibrators that “rests” in the right position with no or minimal effort to hold it in place. I review sex toys from a senior perspective – which includes whether they’re easy on arthritic wrists! – right here on this blog. Look for the label “sex toys” or “vibrator reviews” in the right-hand column.
    See these reviews  for ideas. 

I’ve been asked, “What would recommend as the BEST sex positions for seniors?” I have to answer this way:

There’s nothing that “seniors’ in general will agree on, whether politics, movies, or the best sex position. We’re all individual in finding positions we find comfortable, and maybe your favorite position isn’t comfortable for your partner, or doesn’t do much for you sexually. It’s all a matter of trial and negotiation. Creativity and a lot of laughter help, too! 

Do you have any tips for avoiding joint pain during sex? Please comment!

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Vacuum Erection Devices

By Joan Price | October 30, 2012 |
Guest post by David Pittle, PhD
For a man with erectile dysfunction, there are many options. Most ED in men below the age of 45 or so is psychologically based. The drug companies would like to sell these men Viagra, Cialis or Levitra, but the real solution is psychological counseling and/or sex therapy. 
But as men age, physical reasons cause more ED. Drugs for blood pressure, or type II diabetes, psychotropic medications like Zoloft, Prozac, Sertraline all carry the risk of reduced libido and also affect erections. So what are men in this situation to do? One great option is the vacuum device. 
Vacuum erection devices are designed to lengthen and strengthen the penis so that blood will flow into it. The best vacuum devices can create an erection hard enough for penetration for many men whose erections are no longer automatic. You can enjoy them as part of couple foreplay to heighten your mutual pleasure. 
I tested two vacuum devices: the Rapport Classic and the Encore Revive. 

 

The Rapport Classic is a 2-½ inch clear plastic tube of good quality. The whole length is just over 8 inches. At one end is a manual pump to take the air out of the tube. At the other end is a part that fits snugly to the tube and for insertion of the penis. Surround the penis with a large amount of gel lubricant
for a good vacuum seal.  (Both the Revive and the Rapport come with a tube of surgical gel lubricant, which works very well.)
Before inserting your penis, you use a supplied cone to load a cock ring onto the Rapport. Then insert your penis and use the manual pump to exhaust the air. This draws your penis up into the tube. At the same time, the extension of the penis creates an internal vacuum that forces blood into the penis, making it firm enough for vaginal penetration. 
When the penis is long and stiff enough—and before it begins to be painful and even damaging—you push the cock ring off the tube and down to the base of the penis. The cock ring is now holds the blood in the penis, keeping it hard. Press a button on the pump to release the vacuum, and take away the device. You are left with a good erection. 
This is all much more difficult to describe in words than it is to accomplish. The Rapport comes with a DVD video that makes the whole thing clear, obvious, and simple. The Rapport was provided to me by Uand Me Time. 
The Encore Revive is similar to the Rapport and works much the same way, with two main differences: The Encore Revive comes with both a manual pump which you us e either one-handed like the Rapport or two-handed for more leverage, and with a battery powered pump. It also has a cock ring release that makes the final step almost automatic and releases the vacuum pressure at the same time. It also has a release valve if you decide not to complete the process.
Both the Rapport and the Revive are available online at a a wide variety of prices. (Links here to Amazon seem to have the best prices.) Both come with a large assortment of cock rings in sizes from very tiny to very large. A little experimentation will find your best size.
After trying both the Rapport and the Revive, my vote goes to the Encore Revive. But that is a very personal preference. I like the battery powered pump. Using the manual pump required more mental attention and I could not focus as much on the sensations in my genitals because of the manual effort to achieve a high level of vacuum. But, as they say, “That’s just me.” Another person may have a different reaction. Either one of these devices could really improve the sex life of a man who has tried simpler solutions and not been satisfied.
I’ve talked about these vacuum devices as though they are only to be used to lead to intercourse, but actually they also work very well for masturbation. The erections are strong and allow for a lot of pleasure. Both of these are very different from the “fireplug” type of vacuum gadgets often sold in sex toy stores. The quality of construction and performance of these two devices is much better than the fireplugs, and not much more expensive. These items are, as the manufacturers like to remind us, “Medical Grade.” That means they are well constructed and will last much longer. Also don’t be afraid of the word “medical.” You don’t need a prescription to buy one.
There are several other brands of similar devices which I haven’t yet tested. The advertisements suggest that they all work essentially the same way but the pricing on the others was also quite a bit higher. None of these other manufacturers responded to my inquiries.
Vacuum erection devices are not the same as men’s sex toys that stimulate the penis by emulating the feel of a vagina, such as the Fleshlight or the Tenga Egg (which I reviewed here).
DavidM. Pittle, Ph.D., is a therapist in San Rafael, CA, who has been helping people with sexual issues for over thirty years. Many of his clients are age 50-80, when good sex is important, and dissatisfaction may lead to loss of shared intimacy that can threaten the total relationship. David specializes in helping women who are not experiencing sexual satisfaction and men with non-medical and medically-related erectile dysfunction or other issues. Visit his website here. Please see Dr. Pittle’s review of the Hitachi Magic Wand and the Tenga Egg.

(Note from Joan: I am sad to tell you that my friend, sex therapist David Pittle died December 2017. We value his sex toy reviews. Read his other reviews here.)
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The Nicest Online Dating Rejection Ever

By Joan Price | September 23, 2012 |
What are your pet peeves and pet tips about dating as a senior?  When I give my “How the Heck Do I Date at This Age” workshops and when I blog about online dating, I always plead with people to do these things:

1. Tell the truth (about age, build, marital status)

2. Post a current photo without sunglasses

3. If someone messages you and you’re not interested, give a courteous “no, thank you.”

I keep hearing, “Yeah, but what do you say if you’re not interested?” Don’t lie. Do be polite. Do answer. (Ignoring someone is much more hurtful than anything you might say. However, if the initial message from him/her is inappropriate, feel free to ignore.)

My usual advice is this:  Make it clear, honest, and polite — something like, “Thank you for writing, and I enjoyed reading your profile… [Insert something complimentary about the person’s qualities/interests here.] However, I don’t think we’re a match. [No need to give reason, but you can if it’s something specific and doesn’t put the other person down.] Best wishes for finding what you seek.'”

Today I decided to expand the age range I was seeking to include age 50 to 73. (I’m 68, whatever that might mean to you.)  Before, I had the lower limit at 55, but I don’t mind if the man is younger than that, as long as he is smart, fit, and interesting; matches my energy; and is attracted to older women.

A delightful, 51-year-old man came up in my search. We had much in common, and I found his photo very attractive. I wrote him a complimentary message, and ended with this: “…I know you say your upper age limit is 55 — is that firm? See my profile and current photos before you answer.”

He turned me down, but the way he said no prompted me to write this blog post. It’s the nicest rejection  I’ve ever received, and it will become my new model of how to respond when not interested. He gave me permission to post it here, without identifying him in any way:

Thank you for writing, it’s nice to be approached on occasion instead of
doing all the outreach. (And I always respond, I can’t stand it when I
send an email and am not even afforded the courtesy of a “no”.) I’m
not absolutely firm on my age range, but honestly 68 is a bit beyond
what I will consider. You sound like a live wire and a wonderful lady
to get to know, and I wish you the best in finding someone who can match
your spirit and energy.

See why I love this message? It’s extremely complimentary — he read my profile, he thinks I’m cool — and he’s honest about why he’s saying no. Perfect. Thank you, not-to-be-identified man who inspired this post.

I welcome comments, especially if you have a nice way of saying, “No, thank you.”

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