Book Review: “Lighthearted, titillating and informative… inspiring… arousing….”

I was thrilled by the review of Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty in the North Bay Bohemian, October 18-24, 2006, by Patricia Lynn Henley, who really understood (and enjoyed!) my book. Here’s what she wrote:

Old age doesn’t have to be dull, at least not according to ‘Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk About Sex After Sixty’ (Seal Press; $15.95), the lighthearted, titillating and informative new book by Sebastopol fitness professional, dance instructor and health writer Joan Price.

This isn’t a stodgy or academically oriented self-help book; it’s a bright, witty, let’s-get-the-gals-together-and-just-gab look at keeping the home fires burning when some of the parts have shifted or sagged. It’s inspiring. It’s a bit arousing. And it’s definitely worth reading, either by women who refuse to believe their senior years have to be asexual, or by men who want to understand what’s happening in an older woman’s mind and body, as well as what excites and satisfies her.

Price shares her personal experiences along with thoughts and anecdotes from a wide range of older women who revel in their sexuality. The book covers the challenges of post-menopausal love-making together with creative and loving solutions.

“There’s nothing hotter than sex between people who know their own bodies, are crazy about each other, relish taking lots of time and honor sex as extremely spiritual and physical,” writes Price. “I just don’t think people can get there without a whole lot of life experience and a hefty dose of relationship mistakes along the way!” –P.L.H.

(Reprinted with permission of The North Bay Bohemian)

You can order Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty directly from me for a personally autographed copy, or from Amazon.com using this direct link. Enjoy!

— Joan

What’s in this book?

When I order a book, sometimes I feel that I’m taking a chance, because I don’t really know what’s in it–even with the editorial description, reviews, and sometimes an excerpt. I’d like to make this easier for you by posting a description of each chapter of Better Than I Ever Expected : Straight Talk about Sex after Sixty. (These chapter descriptions are also available on my website)

Let me know if this helps you make your decision — and remember you can purchase a book autographed by the author here.

Chapter Descriptions:
Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty by Joan Price
1. Tale of a Book: How This Book Came to Be. The history of this book, starting with the author, age sixty-one, affirming that she is having the best sex of her life. The surprises of sisterhood rediscovered, as women respond to her request: “Wanted: Interviews with sassy, sexy women, age 60+, who are willing to share feelings and experiences openly and anonymously in a candid, woman-to-woman book.” The discovery that women want to talk about the most intimate details of their sex lives, present and past.

2. Sex in the Golden Age. What makes sex after sixty the best sex of our lives? Great sex isn’t just about body parts. Wisdom, connection, logistics, time, intimacy, a sense of humor, ease of communication, resilience of body and spirit, no kids barging in—who needs youth? Sexually seasoned women speak about what makes sex better than they ever expected. Includes Boo Hiss Department: media messages that present older sex as unseemly, pathetic, and altogether icky.

3. My Sex Education. How and what we learned about sex in the fifties. Jaunty account of author’s early sex education: early misinformation, discovering love and sex (but not orgasm) with first boyfriend, and greatest teenage nightmare: getting caught. Includes reflections of first boyfriend as he remembers the experience and relationship. Sexually seasoned women speak about early sex ed and their experiences.

4. The Bodies We Live In. Learning to accept and celebrate our bodies’ changes. Topics include Body Image, Facing Our Faces, and What Color is My Hair? Author’s fiancé gives a male viewpoint on the attractiveness of wrinkles and wisdom. Includes author’s story of near-fatal automobile accident and reclaiming her body and her sexuality. Sexually seasoned women speak about their bodies and what they love about them.

5. It Ain’t Easy After Menopause. A lively look at the challenges of post-menopausal bodies and having zesty sex in spite of them. Topics include Hormone Hubbub, Hot Flash Flashbacks, and the author’s trials, alternatives, and personal solutions. Sexually seasoned women speak about HRT and alternatives. Expert tips: Painful intercourse problem-solving.

6. Fitness and Exercise: Our Bodies, Ourselves, Our Sex Lives. Fitness isn’t body weight or shape—it’s regular physical activity to rev up energy, self-image, and sexy feelings. Tips from the author, a fitness professional, about how exercise enhances sex, with specific exercises that enhance horizontal workouts. Sexually seasoned women speak about exercise routines that make them feel sexy.

7. Public Sex Acts and Private Preparations. Sex starts long before we get naked. What we do in public, in private, and with or without our partners to heat up in advance. Ways to be intimate outside of bed. Sexually seasoned women speak about what gets them in a sexy mood. Includes a couple of group sex adventures, to keep the chapter title honest.

8. Beds Afire: Stoking The Slower-Burning Flame. Sexual arousal after sixty is a slow burn rather than an instant flame. Adjusting to slow arousal with understanding, communication, acceptance, and sexy rituals. Topics include Kiss Me Forever, Foreplay: We Need a New Word, Lube Power, and My Brain Chemicals Made Me Do It. Sexually seasoned women describe what turns them on.

9. Plug In, Turn On: The Quick Version of Everything You Need to Know about Sex Toys. Women with decreased sexual sensation can fly high again, thanks to sex toys. Author’s frank, personal vibrator history, including involving her fiancé. Expert tips: Your First Vibrator: the Possibilities of Pleasure and Tips for Toys: A Guide for Women of a Certain Age. Sexually seasoned women speak about using sex toys.

10. Staying Sexy without a Partner. Author’s story of partner-less years, overcoming desperate attitude. How to feel sexy, attractive, and satisfied without a relationship. Includes Solo Self-Pleasure: Being Your Own Best Sex Partner and expert tips for toning, lubrication, and massage for genital health. Sexually seasoned women speak about how they stay sexy and happy without a partner.

11. Hunting Grounds: In The Dating Game Again (or Still). Author’s story of social dry spells, finally meeting the love of her life at her line dancing class. Challenges of being in the dating scene after sixty. Two stories of women who found love on the Internet and another who’s still looking. Includes Around the Block: Erotic Adventures of Single Sexually Seasoned Women.

12. Done It All—Ready to Nest. Sexual experimentation, multiple partners, sex with strangers—many of us tried it all, and now are happily settled down with one partner, or want to be. Sexually seasoned women speak about their wild, past sex lives, and compare early excesses with the contentment of a stable, monogamous relationship.

13. Late Bloomers—Ready to Fly. Women who married early and opened up sexually later report that they’re enjoying the wildest, most satisfying sex of their lives right now. Stories your grandmother didn’t tell you: surprising, real-life tales of finding sexual fulfillment after sixty in unconventional relationships, including one woman, age seventy-seven, in a relationship with a man thirty years younger.

14. Sparking a Familiar Fire: How to Spice Up a Long-Term Relationship. Satisfied women in healthy, loving, decades-long relationships describe how they keep the sparks flying with long-term partners and make sex sizzle, not fizzle. Spicy activities and fantasies that keep the fires burning. Expert tips: Keeping a Long-Term Relationship Fresh and Sexually Hot.

15. When You or Your Partner Can’t. Ways to enjoy sex (and life!) despite erectile dysfunction and other health challenges of aging that affect sex, including upbeat tale from man with ED about his enjoyment of pleasuring his partner, and a lusty elder couple overcoming a myriad of medical obstacles. Sexually seasoned women speak about how they cope with their partners’ physical challenges and their own.

Appendix A: When and How a Physician or Therapist Can Help. Not having the best sex of your life? How to talk to your doctor about your sex life, and when to see a sex therapist. Expert tips from Tina Tessina, relationship therapist.

Appendix B: Resources
– Directory of women-friendly sex shops, both brick-and-mortar and online
– Recommended books Appendix C. Interview Questions
The questions answered by our sassy, sexually seasoned women.

Reader Reactions to Book

Women aquaintances who have bought the book and read it already (everyone says they can’t put it down!) are walking up to me and talking freely about their own sex lives and relationships. It’s as if we’re continuing a conversation in progress. I love this!

I feel like I’ve opened up a topic that women were hungry to discuss. So many women are already telling me, “It’s about time!” And it’s not just the older women — younger women are saying, “I don’t plan to give up sex when I’m 60… or 80!”

I’m looking at what women say as clues to what they’d like to see in the next book. As I travel and promote the book, I’ll be noting what women ask and tell me, and when their eyes light up when I discuss something.

If you know what you would like to read in my next book, please post a comment here!