Senior Sex Activism: a Love Letter to My Readers

On October 6, 2005, I wrote my first blog post:

Welcome to Better Than I Ever Expected!

My book, Better Then I Ever Expected: Straight Talk About Sex After Sixty (Seal Press), will be out in January 2006. Please see here  for a description of this sassy, sexy book combining my personal story with tips and tales from lusty, sexually seasoned women.

We’re proving that our society’s view of older women as sexless is wrong, wrong, wrong.

I’d like to invite you –whether or not you’re a woman over sixty — to participate in discussions of ageless sexuality. Please choose a first name of your choice and your age to identify yourself, and feel free to post comments and questions regarding this hot and important topic.

To start you out, what makes sex after sixty better than you ever expected, personally?

I’d like your candid views, and I hope you’ll express them respectfully so that all women will feel welcome to read and post, and won’t feel they’ve wandered into a sleazy place. Thank you, and welcome to our community!

Joan Price

In the past 5.5 years, so much has happened, personally and professionally. Better Than I Ever Expected and I received much media attention –we still do! — and I found myself the spokesperson for senior sex. What had started as a mission to normalize the idea of people over 60 enjoying sex and daring to talk out loud about it became a huge groundswell. I thank you for the part you played in this movement.

Thank you for making this blog a center of that movement by reading and commenting, showing other readers that we have a community of seniors and elders — men as well as women now! — discussing sex openly and respectfully in a manner that’s welcoming even to people who are not used to discussing their sex lives.

Because of you, one book led to the next one: Men said to me, “What about us?” and both men and women said, “Great that you’re celebrating senior sex, but I’m having a lousy sex life and here’s my problem….” I realized that my next book needed to be aimed at both genders, and needed to address the problems and offer solutions. It also needed to include your stories, because we’ve never shared our stories in public before.

Our youth-oriented society may still be saying “Ick!” to the idea of people our age getting naked, loving the pleasures our bodies can give us, loving each other (wrinkles and all!) and finding ways to stay sexually vibrant whether we’re partnered or not — but society can’t pretend it isn’t happening!

Thank you for that. I’m honored that you’ve chosen to join me in talking out loud about senior sex!

Warmly,

Joan Price

Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex is now available! Order an autographed copy directly from me — be sure to let me know to whom to autograph it — by clicking the PayPal button below…


Or order from Amazon here.

As always, I invite your comments!

Betty Dodson at 81: “out loud and sex-proud”

Betty Dodson has influenced my thinking and my sexual self-acceptance for decades. Her 1974 book, Liberating Masturbation: A Meditation on Self-Love, morphed into Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving. At 69, Betty met a young man of 22 who arrived for a weekend and stayed ten years, inspiring Orgasms for Two: The Joy of Partnersex. Her most recent book is her memoir, Betty Dodson: My Sexual Revolution, available as a Kindle edition.

Betty, with sidekick and business partner Carlin Ross, runs a website where she answers sex questions  from readers, posts articles and videos, and displays the famous Genital Art Gallery, which aims to show all of us that we’re just perfect the way we are, “a research project where both women and men can share as well as appreciate the vast diversity of our magnificent sex organs.”

I am deliriously happy that this icon of candid sexuality wrote the foreword to my new book, Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex! In it, she talks about how her sexuality changed through the decades, and how, at 81, she’s still “out loud and sex-proud.”

I have to admit it — I got shivers when I read the latest email from Betty, where she addressed me as “Sister Warrior.” It doesn’t get much better than that!

(To be notified when Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex is available, please email me and I’ll put you on the notification list. I will not spam you, sell or share your information, or in any way abuse your trust.)

Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex

Naked at our age2011 update: Naked at Our Age is a reality! Learn more and order an autographed copy.

from 2010:

Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex is the title of my new book that will be published by Seal Press a year from now, Spring 2011. If you’ve been following this blog, you’ve been reading about Naked at Our Age for a while as I solicited interviews from you and posted information and resources that I didn’t want to make you wait for. The subtitle, though, is brand new, just finalized today. I love it — do you?

Unless you’re an author yourself, you have no idea what goes into choosing the title of a book. Many publishers just decide on their own what to title a book, sometimes without even consulting the author until it’s a done deal. Seal Press, though, is an author’s dream of mutual respect and collaboration, and I love working with them. My earlier book, Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty, was published by Seal, and they were a delight to work with, from start to finish.

We’ve been batting around subtitle ideas for a while, suggesting, rejecting, and tweaking — and today we settled on the title that truly describes what’s in this book.

Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex is a straightforward guide to the realities of senior sex — thanks to the stories of more than a hundred seniors and elders (maybe you were one of them!) who candidly described their sex lives and relationshps — with tips from about 30 experts for overcoming challenges and setbacks. I can’t wait to share it with you!

I’m talking as if it’s all written and just awaiting publication — but it’s not! I’m still writing it… and I’d better get back to that part of the job now! I just couldn’t wait to share my excitement about the title. I’d love to hear your reponses.

Sexual adventurer, age 58, has “every time/ everyone” condom rule

Many thanks to the people who are responding to my request for interviews for my next book! I am getting such interesting stories! For example…

When I asked Tinggi, age 58, how active his sex life was, he said, “Depends on what you mean by ‘sex’!” His erotic activity includes self-pleasuring to orgasm one to three times a day, and intercourse with one to three or more partners (male and female) per week, one to two orgasms per partner. “I tend to have several partners at the same time,” says Tinggi. “I’ve been with two of my partners for five years, another for two years. All of the relationships are open and all my partners regularly have sex with others.” His sexual adventures in the past few years have included multiple partner scenes at sex parties, masturbating for four hours while riding an anal plug while being videocast globally, and nude theater performances.

Tinggi is diligent about practicing safer sex, and has not indulged in partner sex without a condom in 30 years. “My barrier policy is standard, long fixed, and known by all who have shared erotic times with me: Barriers are always used, for everyone, every time, for any genital contact,” he explained in a comment on my blog. “This ‘every time/everyone’ policy makes life simpler — no need for elaborate calculations as to number of partners, who they were, days since last std check-up, partners since our last date, etc. When sex is likely, or probably, or possible, or even a wisp of my imagination, I bring my own supply of barriers. Should the opportunity arise, and both having shed clothes, I simply say, ‘Ok, now time to get Charles (not my name) dressed,’ and put on a condom.”

When dates insist on sex without a barrier, which rarely happens, “the date becomes a chaste one and a last one.” Steady dates, people with whom he has sex repeatedly, get the same treatment each date: “every time/everyone.”

“I do not ask my dates about STD check-ups, partners, etc. I am going to use barriers regardless of my date’s answers. People can have an STD of which they show no signs detectable outside of a laboratory. I believe this ‘every time/everyone’ policy protects my dates, myself, and my community. A sad fact is that HIV is being transmitted in our retirement homes – by their residents. It is already there waiting for me. Barrier use can be eroticized to become a fun and arousing part of sexual interaction.”