Size My Sex Toys, Please!

By Joan Price | March 15, 2011 |

 Women have their choice of sizes for bras and shoes, which is a good thing, because obviously our breasts and feet are all different shapes and sizes. So why haven’t sex toy designers/ manufacturers realized that our genitals are all different shapes and sizes, too?

Okay, it’s obvious that we are, and it’s also obvious that good sex toys would cost even more than they do now if they either came in a variety of sizes or were made to be adjustable.

But let’s say we’re buying a “rabbit” vibrator — a.k.a. “dual action” — which means that one vibrator has an innie for vaginal/g-spot stimulation and an outie for clitoral stimulation. Since I review sex toys, I get to try many different varieties, and I’ve sampled at least a dozen rabbits that don’t work for me at all. If they hit the spot internally, the clitoral-stimulator doesn’t land where I want it, and vice versa.

Unfortunately, the information details on the retailers’ sites generally include only length and circumference or diameter of the insertable part, but no way to gauge how close the two parts are, or anything else that might impact our enjoyment of a particular toy.

Besides, how many of us know our own measurements? Can we ask our gynecologist, “Hey, could you measure the distance from vaginal opening to clitoris?” And since I can’t bear a cervix battering toy, I’d also ask, “While you’re in there, how deep is my vagina from entrance to cervix?” (Readers: don’t tell me to insert a ruler, please, and yes, I know we’re expandable, but still….)

This rant started out as the prelude to a review of an absolutely gorgeous and expensive vibrator that fits all wrong, but I think I’ll stop here and see what you have to say. 

Your comments are welcome. (Please don’t use this as an opportunity to promote vibrator retail sites other than the ones I endorse on this blog, though. I delete comments that try to hijack my readers to sites I haven’t checked out and endorsed.)

Enjoy my other sex toy posts here.

I first posted this in November 2010 and am posting again, hoping to get more comments from you. Any sex toy designers who want to work with me, please let me know!

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LELO Mona: Elegant Instrument of Pleasure!

By Joan Price | June 12, 2010 |
LELO sex toys are beautifully made, both functional and artistic in design, and absolutely made for pleasure. The LELO Mona  is curvy, sleek and sexy, and practically silent. Thank you, Tabu Toys, provider of sex toys, for sending me the beautiful and elegant LELO Mona for review.

The Mona can be used as either a clitoral vibrator or a G-spot seeking insertable vibrator. For clitoral stimulation, either touch the tip to your sweet spot, or position the whole curve over your vulva–the vibrations seem to make the whole vulva sing, with of course a special focus on the clitoris. I didn’t find the vibrations quite strong enough to take me to the finish line this way, but I enjoyed it as a most pleasurable warmup.
The Mona shines — or should I say glows? — as an insertable vibrator. It has an unusual shape: a tapered tip that bulges to about 1.5″ in diameter, then thins considerably. Besides being pretty, that shape let’s you insert it, then let go and use it hands-free (or practically — you may need to touch it lightly to keep it from turning). Once inserted, it’s not likely to pop out at inopportune moments. If you prefer thrusting, the shape gives surprising sensations–its curvy bits are not at all penile, which you might like or not. It feels really good, just not like a penis, if that’s your shape of choice.
It’s rechargeable, which means you plug it in for a while to charge the toy, then it will go unassisted for hours. No cords or batteries to fuss with while you’re concentrating on your sensations. 
For those of us older folks with arthritis, the ergonomic design makes it easy to hold comfortably, no gripping, no weird angles. The only problem is that it’s easy to accidentally press a control button, changing mode or intensity.
The Mona is a mid-sized vibrator, larger than my favorite LELO toy, the Gigi. Here they are side by side for comparison.

Yes, the Mona is expensive. It’s a luxury toy: beautifully designed, easy to hold and a pleasure to use, made of medical-grade materials, velvety smooth, quiet, with six modes of stimulation and a variety of intensities. If you can afford to give yourself a special gift of pleasure, go fot it. Or direct a generous friend to this review!

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Little Chroma: tiny, elegant, and waterproof

By Joan Price | May 25, 2010 |
The Little Chroma is an elegant vibrator from Jimmyjane. The shape may make you think it’s supposed to be inserted vaginally, but although it can be used that way, it is best used on the clitoris where it can touch, rub, or roll against your sweet spot.
This lovely toy is really small — 5-1/4″ long and just 5/8″ in diameter. See how nicely it fits in my tiny hand? If you do want to use it vaginally, the cap has two small holes where you can thread a string to pull it out, just in case you can’t get a grip on it later on.

The Little Chroma claims that although it has only one vibrational intensity, it’s the only one you need. I don’t go along with “one speed fits all” any more than “one size fits all,” but it is a very nice intensity, despite being powered by just one AA battery. I’m spoiled by my super-strong vibrators, but this one is stronger than I expected — maybe a 4 out of 5. The motor is replaceable should it give out after many uses, so although the price is hefty, you’ll get a lifetime of pleasure from it.

Here’s what I expecially like about my Little Chroma:

  • It’s beautiful. It’s slim, designed to please the eye and hand as much as the pleasure spots it touches.
  • It’s made of aluminum and holds temperature well. So if you like it cold, as I do (is that weird?), or hot, you can warm or cool it first under running water.
  • It’s very smooth, feels splendid against tender tissues.
  • If you want to use it in your vagina and you are one of the many women our age who experience vaginal tightness, this can be a lovely way to re-open up an arena of pleasure. 
  • The slim design makes it perfect for clitoral stimulation during partner intercourse — it won’t get in the way.
  • It’s small enough to travel with you, even in a purse.
  • It’s waterproof!
 

Although other reviewers have said this toy is silent, I didn’t find it so. It’s much quieter than most vibrators, yes–just a subdued hum–but it would probably wake up a lightly sleeping partner, if that’s your concern.

It’s always recommended to remove batteries when a toy isn’t in use, to prevent the toy from accidentally turning on and wearing itself out. I don’t usually bother to do that, but I certainly have to remove the battery from this one, because the vibrator turns on just by closing the cap. There’s no on-off switch — no controls at all, in fact. Open is off; closed is on. (That’s why the cap is partially unscrewed in the photos; otherwise it would be buzzing away.) That’s not a bad thing —  the tight seal and lack of seams make it waterproof.

It’s also sturdy, despite its delicate look. I was testing it in the shower, and accidentally dropped it. It buzzed away on the floor until I picked it up without missing a beat. Of course I don’t recommend dropping it on a hard surface, but I was pleased that I did no damange.

Many thanks to Eden Fantasys for sending me this lovely toy to review.

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G-Swirl: If you can get it open!

By Joan Price | April 10, 2010 |
[This vibrator is no longer available, but I thought you’d still enjoy reading about my trials and tribulations trying to use it.]
I’m no vibrator novice, and I’ve opened many a toy to insert batteries. I have never had the trouble I did with the G-Swirl.
I do understand how this is supposed to work. I read the directions. You squeeze the indentations, you hear a click from each side, and the top pops off. I reviewed a similar toy — the G-Twist — and had no problem popping its cap with one hand.
But I couldn’t open my purple G-Swirl with one hand, two hands, or even a jar opener. There were no clicks, nothing loosened.
Thank goodness, the good folks at Good Vibrations agreed that my product must be defective. They quickly replaced it with a new G-Swirl — this one bubblegum pink.
Hurray, this one opened. But it still took both hands squeezing the indentations (I couldn’t photograph that endeavor because I had no hand left to work the camera). Even with both hands, it took several tries.
For that reason alone, I hesitate to recommend the G-Swirl to women my age who may have arthritic or weak wrists. I type all day and lift weights, so you’d think I’d have found this task easier. If you’re young — maybe you wring diapers on a regular basis or build houses– and have the hand strength, maybe it won’t be an issue.
Good Vibrations, to their credit, sprang into action. They wrote me, “We put up a video on Youtube about changing the batteries of the G-Swirl here — while filming it we definitely saw how tricky it can be for a first time user.” (That’s okay, I’m not bristling at the “first time user reference.) You’ll notice that even in the demo (no longer available, sorry), she has to use both hands.
I apologize for taking this long to get past my tale of trying to open the cap to arrive at my actual review of the G-Swirl in operation. I’m happy to tell you that this internal vibrator is designed very well. The silicone is velvety smooth and just soft enough to give a little. The shape conforms to the vagina, with the curved bulb at the end just right for g-spotting.
The size starts small at the tip and increases with each new ridge, so you can decide how deep and full you want it. Holding the G-Swirl is comfortable, and the flared ridge is a good place to rest your hand. I read another review call it “hands-free,” but I didn’t find that to be true for me.
The vibrations are controlled by a daisy-shaped dial — you dial until you find the intensity (light to medium-strong) you want. I didn’t love that if you dial past the highest intensity, it decreases again, but I got used to making sure I didn’t do that.

Thank you, Good Vibrations, for sending me the G-Swirl.

Read all my vibrator reviews here. There are many, so click “older posts when you’ve scrolled to the bottom.
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