Scheduling sex is sexy! When you plan it in advance, your most powerful sex organ — your brain! — has days to anticipate what you’ll do, how you’ll do it, the pleasure you’ll receive. Planning your erotic event in advance lights up your brain with fantasy, which sparks your body into arousal.
Remember when you were dating your first lover, all those decades ago? You looked forward to your date for days. You planned and anticipated and fantasized. You took extra time to bathe and groom. You chose your underwear with care. You imagined seductive conversations, the first kiss, the first touch. Perhaps you masturbated to fantasies of what would happen. By the time the date happened, your mental foreplay had you already aroused.
You can create those feelings for yourself now, whether your date is with a new lover, a longtime partner, or yourself. Some tips:
- Schedule your sex date in advance. Put it on your calendar.
- Indulge your fantasies about what you’d like to happen on your sex date. What would you like to do? What would you like your lover to do to you?
- Select the sex toys you might want to use. Make sure they’re fully charged. When the day arrives, put them out where your lover will see them.
- Select your favorite lubricant or assortment of lubes for different purposes. Put them in clear view and easy reach.
- Avoid distractions when you’re getting ready for your date. Turn off your phone, stop responding to emails and texts.
- Practice conversations where you ask for exactly what you want your lover to do. If it excites you, send a text or leave a note with a sexy request.
- Plan something that will surprise your lover: a new vibrator, a blindfold on the pillow, wearing sexy undergarments or a costume… the possibilities are endless.
- Arouse yourself ahead of time if it feels good.