The new Limba Flex dildos from Fun Factory are as practical as they are lovely. The Limba Flex M is 6.8 inches long, yet only 1.2 inches in diameter. The Limba Flex S is shorter — 4.7 inches long — and slightly slimmer at 1.1″ diameter. The shapes are different — they’re not just different size versions of the same dildo. They’re both made of body-safe silicone.
The best part about these dildos is that they bend! You can get just the right curve or angle for hitting the G-spot or prostate and for accommodating arthritic wrists.
I found the M much easier to bend than the S, probably because of the length. The M bent easily from completely straight, to tilted at the tip, to curved a little, to about 90 degrees. The S changed angle also, but with fewer variations, and it took some wrestling.
There are hundreds, maybe thousands, of girthy dildos in sex toy land, many of them uncomfortable or even unusable for aging vaginas. (Your preferred dildo width will vary, of course.) I’m grateful to Fun Factory for creating these lovely creatures that work well for those of us who find a slim fit more comfortable. Combine this with the flex option, and these are winners. As with all Fun Factory toys, they are high quality and built to last. Learn more and order here.
FYI the colors in the photos look lighter and bluer than the actual dildos, which are dark teal (M) and turquoise (S). Use with plenty of water-based lubricant for best results.
More Fun Factory pleasure tools you’ll want to check out:
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My readers get 10% off all Fun Factory products with the code JOANPRICE. Go to Fun Factory using this link or any of the links in this post. Explore. Choose. Use the coupon code JOANPRICE at the bottom of your shopping cart, before clicking checkout. Fun Factory is so eager to introduce you to the pleasures of their products that you can continue to use this discount code on all future orders. (This coupon cannot be combined with other offers.)
So many ways to enjoy a dildo!
- Solo: Hold the dildo and insert it vaginally or anally*, as you please.
- Solo x2: Hold the dildo in one hand for penetration and a vibrator in the other for clitoral stimulation. Isn’t that why we have two hands?
- Partnered manual: You or your partner holds the dildo during sex pleasuring.
- Partnered with harness: You or your partner penetrates the other by wearing the dildo in a harness, such as these from Smitten Kitten. If the wearer has erectile limitations, consider the Deuce harness from SpareParts which accommodates both a dildo and a penis, erect or not.
- Temperature play: Experiment with chilling your silicone or glass dildo in the refrigerator or in a bowl of ice. Prefer warm? Warm it in hot water. Or switch between the two!
- Experiment your way! This is just an introduction. There are no limits to what you, your body, and your imagination might enjoy.
* Important: Don’t switch from anal to vaginal with an insertable toy or a body part, no matter how squeaky clean you feel. If you want to switch without getting up to clean your dildo (or body part), have two and designate which goes where. Another option is to use condoms on your dildo and change condoms between orifices. For anal play safety, be sure you’re using a dildo with a flared base. All the dildos recommended here have flared bases.
More dildo resources for you:
- Read “Dil-do’s and Dil-don’ts” from Good Vibrations to learn more about dildos and how to choose the right one for you.
- Most of the sex toy retailers in the right hand column (advertisers and affiliates) carry an extensive line of dildos. Think first about what you want in size and shape, and where you’ll want it to go.
- For the largest selection of silicone dildos of every shape, size, color, and design imaginable, check out Tantus. I think my Tantus Paisley dildo is the most beautiful. Although the color combination in mine isn’t available now, you can get the same model with all the wonderful bumps and swirls in “true blood red” or “twilight” blue. This one has a 1.5-inch diameter.
- Kenton at Funkit Toys enjoys experimenting with colors and designs and, oh, the results are eye-popping. Kenton makes paddles and floggers as well as dildos. His Twitter feed is always interesting and often hilarious.
Old People Sex
(with apologies to T.S. Eliot)
by Shamus MacDuff
It starts with talk—a conversation—
At which we set a date for play
Often a day or two away.
Time passes, anticipation simmers,
Thoughts unfold, excitement builds,
And then the chosen time arrives!
Showers happen, nothing’s rushed.
Sheets are pulled back, lube’s at hand,
And sex toys to match our ken.
We begin with talk—a loving flirtation—
Back and forth about who’ll go first,
Taking turns is very sexy!
The receiver makes requests; the giver
Complies gladly. Our “joint undertaking”
May require repositioned stiff knees.
Kissing, touching, then more kissing,
And more touching, all slow and easy,
No hurried strokes, no rush.
Responsive desire fires mutual pleasure,
Slow, gentle, sensuous, and exhilarating,
Spiced with smiles and laughter.
Activities vary, we experiment as we play.
PIV seldom happens; other ways
Prove more pleasurable and fun.
We finish with orgasms, hugs, spooning,
And more conversation—sharing thoughts about
Our past and present lives.
And this is how our date ends, this is how our date ends
This is how our date ends,
Not with a bang, but a cuddle.
Until a year ago, at age 75, my only anal experiences consisted of childhood enemas administered by my mother and prostate examinations given by my doctor. Prostate massage toys never crossed my mind.
In my naiveté I never considered my anus or my prostate to be erogenous zones. But then I read The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure: Erotic Exploration for Men and Their Partners by Charlie Glickman and Aislinn Emirzian, and my curiosity was piqued. Wishing to explore and expand my own sexual repertoire, I obtained three prostate toys: Pleasure Plug 1 from Fuze, Pure Wand from njoy, and Helix Trident from Aneros.
I tried each toy with much trepidation and lots of lube, not knowing what to expect. Those initial experiences were disappointing. I had anticipated an immediate “buzz” or feeling of intense sexual excitement, and when I didn’t, I thought prostate play was not for me.
I left those three toys unused in a drawer for many months. Then, still curious, I read Joan Price’s interview of Charlie Glickman, “Prostate Play for Pleasure and Health.” I decided to give the toys another try. This time around, “curiosity thrilled the cat!”
So what had changed?
- I learned that a host of other prostate owners derive great pleasure from stimulation of the prostate.
- I realized that I needed to experiment more.
- I understood that lying prostrate to access my prostate—the position I’d used in my earlier exploration — wasn’t the best position. If instead I inserted the toy while standing, I could alter its placement easily with a hand free for nipple and/or penis play. Introducing any of the toys into my anus from that position brought my penis almost instantly erect, the more so when I moved the toy around or in and out. None of these actions alone produced an orgasm, but they primed me, and a well-lubed hand job led quickly to ejaculation.
The three toys are different.
- The Pleasure Plug is essentially a 4-1/2-inch silicone butt plug—it’s straight, only slightly flexible, and because of the shape, it doesn’t reach my prostate.
- The Pure Wand is 7-1/2 inches of stainless steel and weighs a hefty 2 pounds. It is curved, so it can be positioned to touch the prostate directly.
- The Helix Trident is 4 inches long, made of non-porous FDA-Approved Acetal plastic. It features a special Aneros design that stimulates multiple anal sites. (See more Aneros prostate massagers here.)
Both the Pure Wand and the Helix Trident can be maneuvered to push on, stroke, or massage the prostate to produce extremely pleasurable sensations. Those sensations are quite distinct from penis-oriented ones—they’re deeper, subtler, and more diffuse.
My newfound knowledge led to a fantasy. I imagined how it might feel to insert either the Pure Wand or the Helix Trident while standing erect and having a partner perform fellatio as I wiggled the toy about. To my great joy this fantasy came true! Having inserted the Helix Trident with plenty of lube, I stood over my partner seated on a chair. She played with my penis lovingly while I maneuvered Helix Trident in my anus, and before long I exploded in a wonderful orgasm. The orgasm was so powerful that on release, it mostly extruded the toy!
At age 76 I’ve discovered my prostate and a whole new world of sexual pleasure that I didn’t even know existed. If you experiment, you may also be equally fortunate.
— Shamus MacDuff, age 76, was oblivious to the delights of sex toys for his own pleasure until about two years ago. He’s been making up for lost time! Read Shamus MacDuff’s other posts.
Before I tell you anything more about the topic of this blog post, please watch the video “Ageless” below:
- How did you react to the video during the first 35 seconds, when the message seemed to be simply that we can feel sexy in older bodies?
- How did you react when you learned that the women in the video were all living with urinary incontinence?
- What were your thoughts and feelings when the video ended?
I’ll tell you my response to all three questions: joyful. I love it when senior sexuality is celebrated, especially when the changes and challenges are normalized, accepted, and embraced. I love seeing senior women portrayed as sexy and confident.
Did that change when I realized that these women all had their “trickle of joy” or “sneeze wee” as part of their daily lives? Nope.
TENA, a global brand specializing in bladder incontinence solutions, came to my attention with this advertising campaign for women. Instead of using the video to promote their incontinence products directly, TENA wanted to increase awareness and acceptance of the sexuality of older women — even if they leak urine.
Our intention with this film is to acknowledge that many women do live with incontinence (as many as 1 in 3) and to give women the confidence to talk about it, to seek advice, and to know that they can continue living their lives as they want to. This campaign was inspired by speaking to real women and the stories they had to tell about their sexual experiences while having incontinence.
Not everyone feels so accepting. At the time of this writing, “Ageless/TENA” has 1,705,102 views, 132 “likes,” and 208 “dislikes.” Reactions in the 45 comments range from “Great ad! Love it!” to “nauseating” and “cringe worthy.” Some of the comment writers are quite upset and express themselves vehemently (and not always grammatically):
- Remove this ad! Its DISGUSTING!
- I thought the Always ad was one of the worst I had ever seen then I seen this Tena ad. It is not “completely normal” to “Whoosh” nor is there anything sexy about being incontinent so please stop trying to convince women that there is just to sell your products. It’s patronising condescending & a lie!
- I AM target market but this utterly alienates me. I will now go out of my way not to buy Tena.
Others are filled with positivity:
- Makes me want to be stunning and brave too.
- What’s to dislike about this? Women don’t stop being sexual entities just because they get older, and incontinence is no respecter of firm skin or a pretty face. I like this ❤️
- I know it’s just an advert to sell a product, but I find this refreshing, honest and beautiful. It saddens me the number of women that feel they are the wrong age, shape or size, I hope this and other adverts like it will change perceptions in time.
- This add is so beautiful and so intimate, that I feel privileged to have been “let in”. I love how these beautiful women of different ages, shapes, sizes and colours, with imperfect bodies, allow themselves to be vulnerable in public to encourage women out there to love themselves and live fully, even when they don’t match those unachievable beauty standards promoted by media. Their beauty radiates so warm and so strong that it makes me happy inside!
When I first viewed this video in March 2020, I commented,
I’d like to expand on that.
Most seniors and elders encounter sexual challenges. Aching joints, dry vagina, unreliable erections, decreased sensation, elusive orgasms, or a combination of these are common. You’ll find plenty of information about how to deal with these issues and remain sexy in my books, articles, and webinars. But one common concern that I’ve never addressed before is urinary incontinence.
Urinary incontinence can affect sexual enjoyment. You may avoid sex out of embarrassment, shame, self-image, anxiety. Feeling self-affirming, and sex-positive can make the difference between enjoying sex and avoiding sex. Let’s choose the former.
Worn-out stereotypes simply don’t describe how women over 50 are living their lives now. Thanks to thousands of women who shared their stories with us, it’s clear they are enjoying enriched, fulfilling experiences including sex. Incontinence doesn’t change this.
– From TENA
TENA’s campaign drew media attention, not always positive. DailyMail.com published an article titled “Women my age should not feel pressure to be sexy” by Sarah Vine, age 52, including these sentiments:
I don’t doubt the good intentions. But what if you’re not comfortable with your ageing body; what if you don’t look at yourself in the mirror and see a glorious goddess but a baggy old bag; what if you don’t find sex as pleasing as it once was?
Now your own lack of self-esteem is just something else to feel inadequate about, your lack of desire yet another example of how you’re letting the side down by being insufficiently thrilled at the thought of stuffing your crinkly cleavage into some underwiring or hauling your sagging derriere into a pair of fishnet tights.
…In this age of over-sharing, there are some conversations that should remain private. And this is one of them.
I guess Sarah Vine would consider me one of the over-sharers. I think that keeping conversations about sex and aging private — meaning not having these conversations at all! — reinforces our invisibility as sexual beings and stops us from finding solutions and work-arounds.
Society would rather not see us as vibrant sexual creatures, whether because of pee leaks or just because we’re old. We all experience sexual setbacks, that’s part of getting old(er). But making information easily available will help us overcome those problems, rather than letting the problems limit us. I vote for keeping the conversation open, loud, and frequent!
Your opinion? Please post your thoughtful comments. Respect each other, please, even if you disagree with someone’s point of view (including mine).
(For more information about urinary incontinence, see https://www.tena.co.uk/women/about-incontinence/.)