Andy, 44, turned on by women 60+

I often hear from younger men who tell me they desire older women.

Sometimes their emails are short and consist of abbreviations (hey, guys, emails to me shouldn’t read like a tweet!), which makes me wonder how they would handle a slow-burning, older woman.

Occasionally they invite me to share a romp–or, in one case, a shower. Sorry, fellows, I’m flattered, but I need to get to know (and like) a man first.

Usually, though, they’re the kind of reader emails that I love: respectful and earnestly trying to gain useful information or share a story. For example, I recently heard from Andy, age 44, a British man who gave me permission to share what he wrote me:

I am exactly the type of man you so often write about. When I was just 15, I would look at my mother’s friends and fantasize. Later on at night I would lie in bed and imagine making love to them. I would conjure up scenarios in my mind and imagine the spontaneity and excitement of it all.

As I get older, I find myself wanting women of 60-plus. My mates think I’m strange, weird – some even think I’m sick. But what turns me on is not so much their physical appearance but that they are so turned on themselves during the course of our love making.

I would far rather make love to a highly excited 60-year-old woman than a drop-dead gorgeous figure of 22 years who acts like a mannequin.

Right now, I am finding myself flirting with an older woman yet again. She is 70 and clearly very sexually frustrated. She flirts with me and has said in no uncertain terms if she was 30 years younger she would be “hitting on me real hard.” Wow – I got so turned on when she said that. I think something might happen soon.

I suggest he tell her, “You don’t need to be 30 years younger — you’re perfect the way you are!”

Anything you’d like to say to Andy?

For more posts about younger men/older women, click here.


  1. Anonymous on September 7, 2013 at 4:37 pm




  2. Joan Price on May 29, 2011 at 9:43 pm

    pgels, what a lovely story! I know just how you feel when you say, "Just seeing him walk away from me ~ the way he walks, the shape of his body, the smell of him. I am wired into him like I have never been in my life with another."

    Thank you for sharing this with us! Maybe your lover will comment, too?

  3. pgels on May 29, 2011 at 9:19 pm

    I am a 66 year old woman. My love will be 44 in a couple of days. We have been together for about 4 years and I have never been happier. At first I thought it was just a fantasy. I thought he was crazy at first when we met, and honestly that he would tire of me. To my happy surprise, that was not the case at all. We are very much in love and this has been the best relationship in my life. It is hard though in the beginning to believe this could work. At first my friends and family were very worried about this relationship, but now they all love him and we are just like any ordinary couple to them (except there is nothing ordinary about him!!). I guess the one thing that troubles me is worrying about the future, but I try not to embrace that ~ just try to live in the moment. After all, none of us know how much time we have here. I live today. Today is here, and we are here. Tomorrow is not a promise. I love him with all my heart today, right here, right now, this very minute, and I will continue to love him for all the minutes I have left. Our sex is GREAT. He is a fantastic lover, and that is enhanced by the great person he is. We have so much in common, and so much diversity in our lives. Lust. OMG do I have lust for him. A couple of years ago, before we ever mentioned the word love, he said he had rapture with me. The definition of rapture: the state of mind resulting from feelings of high emotion; joyous ecstasy. That certainly applied then, and now. I look at him, and I am filled with desire, lust, and rapture. Just seeing him walk away from me ~ the way he walks, the shape of his body, the smell of him. I am wired into him like I have never been in my life with another. This is worth waiting your entire life for. Money, possessions ~ meaningless to me. He gives me far more than those things. "Things" are just that. "Things". This ~ is ecstacy. Joy. Happiness. Rapture. He is the love of a lifetime. I am so blessed.

  4. Michael on April 23, 2011 at 11:18 pm

    I certainly feel very much like Andy does about preferring to date an older woman. I'm 33 years old…reside in Chicago…and I often feel that an age-gap relationship is a difficult proposition because it certainly is a bit taboo even in this day and age. I think it is more accepted on the coasts…but definitely not the midwest..even in a very cosmopolitan city like Chicago. I think the older man dating the younger woman is more acceptable here. And…I do think it has alot to do with the sexual views of the midwest. There is a prevailing view that the younger man only is seeking an experienced lover. I'm a healthy, fit man with a strong libido…and certainly enjoy making love to older woman…but it's simply because I'm wired that way…and it's what I'm attracted to. A great sex life is as important to me as anyone who has fallen in love/lust with someone. I just happen to prefer someone older. It's not for any one particular reason. Just my two cents…

  5. Kendra Holliday on April 20, 2011 at 12:44 am

    Andy should take his time, don't rush the courtship, make her build up desire, be respectful, invite her to coffee, let the woman give flirting cues, which involves physical contact – touching arm while flirting, etc.

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