Ron, age 66: “Ladies are sooo inventive!”

By Joan Price | January 21, 2011 |

I love getting reader stories, and Ron, age 66, has opened my eyes to the adventures of a remarkably open and sexually active man who is enjoying his single life tremendously. Of Scots heritage, Ron enjoys wearing kilts “for their obvious freedom and comfort and fun.” He illustrates:

Dating a lady my age, we’re out for lunch at a chain restaurant sitting in a booth and suddenly her bare feet are under my kilt lovingly massaging my boy parts. No one can see. We know. Ladies are sooo inventive.”

Ron does a lot of online dating, and enjoys women our age.

I have met a lot of wonderful women. Despite the protest on the Internet profiles, a common first date includes making love at the lady’s initiative. Most often I’m the boy toy and they want to use my body for their own pleasure. I think its wonderful.

Since there are more single women than men of our age, Ron has a concept of the ideal retirement community which includes “man sharing”:

What if say three lonely ladies got together and chose a compatible man to share an nice large home with. Share the rent, share the chores, share the love. Seems it would sure beat living alone. I’m sure someone’s way ahead of me on this. Gotta be happening already. For the longest time I thought of it as something I, as a surviving male would do – go out and find three women who would be up for such an arrangement. Lately, I’ve realized such a group would be better formed if the ladies bonded first then sought out the male to share together.

Ron’s satisfied lovers already pass him on to one another:

Looking back over my lovers since my divorce there have probably been seven or eight who were “referrals” from previous lovers.  Its probably a woman thing that I don’t understand – but deeply appreciate.

What do you think? Men, do women “refer” you to their friends? Women, if you date a man who leaves you with a smile on your face, do you tell your single friends to get in touch with him? Though I have no direct experience with this, I must admit it’s an intriguing idea!
Thank you, Ron, for your willingness to go public with your story!
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Put Your Head on My Shoulder

By Joan Price | December 15, 2010 |
12/14/10 update: I wrote the memory below last March 7, first in my personal journal, then as a blog post.
Later on, working on the last chapter of Naked at Our Age, I realized it also needed to be the ending of my book.
Today, I was finishing proofreading the designed pages that Seal Press sent me and simultaneously struggling to figure out how to make today — which would have been his 74th birthday — special.

As soon as I read this memory at the end of the book, I decided to share it with you again:

Put Your Head on My Shoulder

One day I was rushing about, I don’t remember for what, maybe preparing for a trip. I was stressed, crashing about, full of nervous energy. Robert caught me in mid-flight, taking my hand. “I’m so busy,” I protested.
“Just for a minute,” he said quietly, leading me into the living room.
He switched on the CD player, and Michael Bublé began to sing, “Put Your Head on My Shoulder.” Robert enveloped me in his arms and began to dance me around the floor. My body melted into his strong embrace and his graceful rhythm. I started to cry, feeling his closeness and knowing that nothing was more important than holding this man I loved in my arms. I continued to sob, and he didn’t need to ask why. He just cradled my head into his shoulder and kept us dancing.
I don’t remember what I was rushing to that day, but I do remember every moment in Robert’s arms, the feel of his chest against my face and his body leading mine until our rhythms melted into one being. Yes, just like making love.
I would do anything to dance in his arms again. I narrate this special moment to remind you to stop, take time with your lover if you’re fortunate enough to have him or her with you, and never take for granted that there will always be time later on. Now is all we have. Treasure each other.

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Great Sex after 50: A Woman’s Guide to Getting Her Mind, Body and Relationship Ready for Pleasure by Dr. Pepper Schwartz

By Joan Price | December 10, 2010 |

Great Sex after 50: A Woman’s Guide to Getting Her Mind, Body and Relationship Ready for Pleasure  by sexpert Dr. Pepper Schwartz,  is an e-book in PDF format about our sexual issues, problems, and pleasures. Vibrant Nation, an online community for women over 50 that I enjoy immensely, published this book.

Dr. Schwartz is a professor of sociology, author of many books, and the AARP sex & relationships expert. You’ve seen her on Oprah, Dateline, Dr. Phil and Lifetime programs. She knows her stuff, and she’s fun to read.
My favorite of her books is Prime: Adventures and Advice on Sex, Love, and the Sensual Years, a memoir about her sexual adventures at age 55+ after ending a 23-year marriage. So much fun to read, with good tips, too, and you’ll be planning a trip to Bali before you finish it!
When I heard that Dr. Schwartz’s new book about sex after 50 had just come out, I was, at first — I’ll be honest — worried. Would this book duplicate ideas in my own  Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk About Sex After Sixty? Or anticipate what I cover in my upcoming book, Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex?
But no, although the topics overlap quite a bit, the treatment is very different. Dr. Schwartz offers tons of statistics — who’s doing what, what are we enjoying or not enjoying in sex, what problems are we facing? The book is not dry in any way, it’s warm and friendly, with tips for improving whatever is ailing our sex lives, such as boredom, lack of communication, pain, and much more. Some of her advice is geared to couples, some to singles. Her chapter about dating is full of good advice presented in a warm, upbeat style.

But my goodness, this book is way overpriced — 54 pages for $29.97? And it’s just in PDF format, so if you want a paper copy, you have to print it out yourself. I’m all for e-books — I buy them all the time and read them on my iPad, where I read this one. But even full-length e-books are generally priced at $10-$12, not $30. Please, Vibrant Nation, this book is too useful and well written to price itself out of the market.

Vibrant Nation also offers a useful, free report: Top 5 Treatments for Vaginal Dryness and Dyspareunia (Sexual Intercourse Pain).

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When Penetration Hurts: Vulvar and Vaginal Pain

By Joan Price | December 9, 2010 |

One of the most helpful chapters in Naked at Our Age (coming June 2011) addresses vulvar/vaginal pain, a complex issue. You’ll read real-people stories from women whose vaginal or vulvar pain prevented them from enjoying penetration, or who learned how to renew their vaginal health, plus information and direction for getting your own pain diagnosed and treated. Although you’ll have to wait for the book, until then, these posts about vaginal/vulvar pain will be helpful, and here is a list of websites that offer more information and/or referrals to knowledgeable professionals:

• American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists: http://www.aasect.org/.

• American Physical Therapist Association, Section on Women’s Health: http://www.womenshealthapta.org/.

• American Urogynecologic Society: http://www.augs.org/.

• International Society for the Study of Vulvar Disease: http://www.issvd.org/.

• Mypelvichealth.org: http://www.mypelvichealth.org/

• National Vulvodynia Association: http://www.nva.org/

• OObgyn.net: http://www.obgyn.net/

• Pelvic and Sexual Health Institute: http://www.pelvicandsexualhealthinstitute.org/

• Secret Suffering: Helping Women Cope with Sexual and Pelvic Pain (patient site): http://www.secretsuffering.com/.

• Vulval Pain Society: http://www.vulvalpainsociety.org/.

• Vulvar Pain Foundation: http://www.thevpfoundation.org/

• Vulvodynia.com: http://www.vulvodynia.com/

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