“Oral Sex” in a vibrator? LELO Ora review
“Oh, please, please, please let me review the LELO Ora!” I begged the wonderful folks at Good Vibrations. A toy that simulates oral sex, made by the luxury vibrator company LELO, sounded like a winner.The description and video (bottom) made it sound lovely: silicone, beautiful design, with a nubbin that worked as a simulated tip of the tongue — swirling and flicking. Lots of patterns — some with all-over vibrations plus the “tongue,” some alternating, some just the tongue — and an intensity setting that claimed to be 30% over the manual settings.
Great idea, lovely design, but Ora doesn’t live up to the claims, at least in my bed. The tongue flicks and swirls are very nice, but the nub is so small and the motions are so delicate that they don’t come close to doing the job for me. You might love it, if your clitoris is so sensitive that light flicking and swirling are all you need, but I I found the “tongue” way too subtle for any more than a nice warm-up. The vibrating patterns felt really good, especially at the strongest settings (which weren’t turbo, but still very enjoyable), but at the highest vibrations, the flicks and swirls were barely noticeable. (See update #4 below.)
The box and the marketing messages claim an “ultra-intense power setting at the touch of a button.” I couldn’t find any “ultra intense” setting, because as many times as I pressed the “+” button, the highest setting was intense, but not what I’d call “ultra intense.”
So maybe, I told myself, I didn’t understand how to find that highest setting.
I turned to the “user manual” and quickly became cranky: The so-called manual had warranty, safety and charging information for all LELO products in 12 languages — but nothing specific to this product and no instructions!
Finally I found it — all but illegible with its itty bitty grey font on grey paper, it said to go to LELO.com and click on Customer Care to download the manual. Come on, a $169 toy can’t have a page of instructions? A luxury sex toy company makes the “go to” notice practically impossible to read? Hello, LELO, I hope you’re listening.
Here’s where the LELO manuals are, so you don’t have to hurt your eyes trying to find it. Except — whoops! There is no manual for the Ora! I wrote to LELO:
Where is the user manual for Ora? It’s not listed, and the included “manual” has no information whatsoever about using this specific product.
I had no problem figuring out how to turn it on, cycle through the patterns, and turn the intensity up or down. But how do I access that mysterious “ultra-intense power setting at the touch of a button” that the box advertises?
I got a prompt but unhelpful response from LELO, telling me how to turn the Ora on and off and cycle through the patterns. I knew that — as I had told them. I still wanted to know where the “ultra-intense power setting” was that was supposed to gives 30% increase on the standard maximum power at the touch of a button. If we were just supposed to cycle the “+” button until it could go no higher, then tell us that!
Undaunted, I wrote to LELO again with that question. I added:
I have many sex toys, including many LELO products. I
wonder how someone receiving this product as a first-timer would know how to
use it when there are no instructions included, and the promised manual is not actually there.
2/10 update #1: LELO wrote me this:
Dear Sir or Madam,
Thank you for your email.
If you press the center button, it will change mode, but
if you press and hold it for 3 seconds, it will change to the ultra-intense
power setting.
Aha, there’s what I wanted to know. Why isn’t this in the instructions? Oh, right, there are no instructions. Then why isn’t this printed on the box? We’re just supposed to intuit that we press and hold the center button for 3 seconds?
I’ll try it and get back to you. Didn’t want to make you wait for this piece of the puzzle.
2/11 update #2: LELO answered my “Why isn’t this information provided on the box, in the instructions (whoops, there are no instructions), or in the video? How are users supposed to know this?” with this:
Our intention was let our customers “discover” it, however I will suggest our departments do some changes about the instruction in case more customers cannot find it.
2/21 update #3: Just received a lovely, personal email from Kathryn Catney, Communication Specialist at LELO, who actually read my review here (and is a “big fan” of my blog). She apologized for the lack of instructions and the useless responses from the Customer Care rep. She said that I must have received an early sample (true), and that all the purchased Oras come with a full “How to Use” manual, which is now online here.
2/26 update #4:
I’ve retested Ora twice with the new knowledge of how to find the “ultra-intense power setting.” Yes, it’s better with that setting, definitely. However, the shape of the vibrator, while gorgeous and enabling it to stand upright when not in use, prevented it from working right for me. The “tongue tip” section is recessed. I would have preferred that it balloon from the vibrator rather than recede. The vibrating ring of the vibrator was very nice, but the “tongue” part was still barely noticeable. Sorry, LELO.
We’re all different shapes and sizes, including our genitals, so this might be just right for you. Clearly a lot of research, development, and attention to design went into this lovely product. It felt nice, yes, but in the end, it didn’t do the job.
All in all, I think the Ora is a great idea, but if your idea of the perfect vibrator is the Magic Wand (reviewed here), you’ll be disappointed. However, if you prefer a lighter touch and the idea of subtle swirls and flicks makes you quiver, the Ora might become your new best friend.
Thank you, Good Vibrations, for sending me the Ora and always being supportive of older-age sexuality.
Valentine’s Day Reflection
For many of us who have had many decades of relationships, Valentine’s Day is a time to reflect.
Personally, I am glad for every relationship in my life, whether or not it turned out to be right for me. Each one helped me refine who I was, what I had to give a partner, what I was looking for, and what sustained me and stimulated me vs. what boxed me in or hurt me.
I’ve remained close friends with past lovers and my first husband, and I treasure them in my life now. These are men whom I’ve loved and love still, and I know they feel that way about me, too.
Other past lovers I’ve lost touch with, but would love to bring back for a conversation about the past and the present.
Of course Valentine’s Day is also about missing Robert, as it is for you if you’ve lost your love. But instead of today being all about loss, let’s let it be about what we’ve found over our long life of loving.
I’d love to involve you in a discussion of how we see past and present relationships, what we’ve learned from them, what we see — or hope to see — in our future. Please comment and get the conversation going.
If you don’t want to use your name, please identify yourself with a first name of your choice — let’s not have a string of comments from “Anonymous,” okay? Please include your age.
(Do I really need to say that “please comment” is NOT an invitation to be spammed by purveyors of pills, porn, jelly toys, escorts, or other products and services? I moderate comments, and my community trusts me to keep the spammers out of the conversation. If, on the other hand, you’re an author, educator, or blogger in a relevant field, I’m happy to have you include a link with your comment.)
No Sex for 12 Years, Now Vagina Too Tight for Penetration
Frustrated in Florida, age 61, had not had sex for nearly 12 years, until recently. She wrote in an email to me:
Apparently one’s vagina does change after not using it for a long period of time. I always thought sex was like riding a bicycle, but it is not. One can’t just get back on and ride! I experienced such pain during the attempted penetration that we had to stop. What a disappointing and embarrassing moment. My partner was very understanding, however I was just frustrated and disappointed.
I went to my GYN for an examination soon after and explained my circumstances. She gave me a thorough exam and said although I had many tiny lacerations and redness, my vagina seemed normal. She explained how one’s vaginal lining becomes thin after menopause and her advise was to abstain from sex for two weeks, using lubrication to aid in healing.
When we engaged in sex again, very gently, I was once again disappointed with the level of pain even though using lots of lubrication. We once again had to stop.
So now I am wondering if there is some way I can stretch my vagina for it seems like it has shrunk. (Perhaps it is just my imagination running wild!)
Have you had anyone else write you with a similar problem and if so is there a solution? For your information I have never been on hormones and my partner’s penis is of normal size.
No, it’s not your imagination, and yes, it’s true that the vagina will seem to shrink after a long period of abstinence, especially after menopause, and penetration will be painful or sometimes impossible. You’ll find a helpful chapter in my book, Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex and several other posts about vaginal pain on this blog.
I’m disappointed that your gynecologist is not this helpful. Telling you you’re “normal” while you have lacerations and pain is not helpful, is it? Most doctors do not know how to diagnose or treat vaginal pain, and it ‘s wise ask for a referral to a sexual pain specialist.
Please read Vaginal Renewal Program by Myrtle Wilhite, M.D., at A Woman’s Touch, a wonderful sexuality resource center in Madison, WI. It tells you step by step how to massage and stretch your vagina. Here’s an abridged version:
* External Moisturizing and Massage: Increase the suppleness and blood circulation of the skin of your vulva and vagina with a five- to ten-minute massage with a moisturizing sexual lubricant like Liquid Silk®, a water-based lotion that will soak in and moisturize your skin, won’t get sticky, and will help you massage with very little friction.
Push in to the skin with circular strokes, and massage what’s underneath the skin, rather than brushing across the skin. Include the inner lips, the hood of the clitoris, the head of the clitoris and the perineum.
To complete your external massage, massage into the opening of the vaginal canal, using the same circular strokes. The massage itself does not need to be self-sexual in any way, but if that is comfortable for you, by all means explore these sensations.
* Internal Vaginal Massage: To massage inside your vaginal canal, we suggest using a lucite dildo which is very smooth and will not cause friction or tearing. Choose your size based upon how many fingers you can comfortably insert into the opening of your vagina.
After a session of external vulva massage, apply the same massage to the inner surfaces of your vagina with your dildo with lubricant applied on both skin and dildo. Rather than pushing the dildo in and out, use a circular massage movement. You are increasing skin flexibility so that your body can adjust to comfortable sexual penetration if you choose it.
You might also choose to use a slim vibrator for massaging the vaginal walls. Coat it in Liquid Silk and then insert it gently. Turn it on and let it run for about five minutes. You don’t need to move it around, just lie there and let it do its work.
* Orgasm: For women who stop having orgasms, the blood vessels literally can get out of shape, preventing future orgasms. If you are able to bring yourself to orgasm, do so at least once a week (for the rest of your life — seriously). This is preventive maintenance of your body.
* Kegel Relaxation: Kegels increase both the strength and flexibility of your pelvic floor muscles. Pay attention to the relaxation and deep breath part of the exercise. Learning to relax your pelvic floor will help you to avoid tensing up before penetration. (Read A Woman’s Touch’s Step-by-Step Kegels in this article about pelvic floor health.)
In my earlier book, Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty, I had interviewed a 75-year-old woman who had been celibate for 38 years and was in a new relationship. She was unable to have intercourse because her vagina had dried and narrowed to the point that penetration was impossible. She sought help from her gynecologist (a wonderful woman who bought dozens of copies of Better Than I Ever Expected to give to her patients!), who helped her.
Herbs for Sexual Enhancement, guest post by pharmacist Paul Roberts
R.Ph., M.S.,
for sexual function are rarely used alone. Rather they’re found with several
others in combination. Therefore it’s difficult to determine which individual
ones work, and adequate studies for safety are generally lacking. Fortunately
herbs have generally mild effects and a good safety record overall, compared to
prescription medications.
because they may interact with another medication you’re taking or aggravate a
condition you have.
“Puncture Vine”
Uses: to treat impotence, infertility, and increase muscle strength. Tribulus is widely used in combination with other herbs for sexual dysfunction in men.
lower blood glucose levels); take lithium; have benign prostate enlargement,
prostate cancer, hormone dependent cancers, or other hormone-linked medical
conditions. Tribulus may interact with some heart and blood pressure medicines,
such as beta-blockers, calcium channel blockers, digoxin, and diuretics. Avoid
this herb for sexual dysfunction in women, as it’s likely to aggravate the
condition.
formulas for sexual dysfunction, although there’s little scientific evidence
that it works. It is possibly effective for men and may be worth a trial for up
to 8 weeks if you do not have any of the contraindications.
arousal in women, orgasmic function, sexual satisfaction, physical stamina.
if you have autoimmune disease (it may stimulate immune function). Avoid if you
have schizophrenia unless prescribed by your doctor. It also has some
estrogenic effects and should be avoided by women with estrogen-sensitive
cancers or conditions.
frequently if you’re diabetic. Use only under medical supervision if you are
taking antidepressants or antipsychotics. It may cause insomnia and increase the
effect of caffeine, use with caution if you have difficulty sleeping. One study of a product containing
Korean ginseng, yohimbine , Horny Goat Weed, Muira Puama, and other ingredients
found the combination can interact with medications and may lead to irregular
heartbeats.
of 500mg to 2,000 mg for 4 weeks to 6 months. Found to significantly improve sexual function over 4 to 12 weeks.
Libido, orgasmic function, and sexual satisfaction have been shown improved
over 8 weeks, but probably not effective for increasing physical stamina. Used
by over 6 million Americans, Ginseng can be considered for improving sexual
function in men and enhancing sexual arousal in women if you do not have any of
the contraindications or cautions.
relieve stress. Maca root in dried form has been consumed by Peruvians as
regularly for several thousand years, but never the fresh root, which is
considered unsafe.
other hormone-linked medical conditions.
female hormonal balance, no studies have been done in women.
libido and increasing sperm amount at 1.5 to 3 grams daily of the dried
powdered root. More studies are needed to verify other uses. Likely safe (in
the dried form) for short term, up to 3 to 4 months. Due to widespread use and
safety, in spite of lack of studies, combinations with Maca may be worth a
trial in healthy individuals.
Flower”
It is purported to inhibit the conversion of testosterone into estrogen,
however studies that show this are lacking.
inhibitors (Femara®, Arimidex®, Aromasin®) because
it may increase the drug’s effect. May interfere with anticoagulant, platelet
treatments or cause low blood pressure. Avoid if you are immunosuppressed or
immunocompromised. Avoid in hormone-dependent cancers, or other hormone-linked
medical conditions.
by the liver enzyme “Cyp1A2” including caffeine. Ask your pharmacist
or doctor if this could affect any of your prescriptions.
progesterone or has progesterone effects are not supported by studies.
when used in appropriate doses for short term. However, Wild Yam is not
converted to hormones in the body as is commonly believed, only in the
laboratory. Avoid this product.
as an aphrodisiac.
combination with other ingredients, however studies of the herb alone are
lacking.
term, but possibly avoid this herb until more is known.
Weed, Muira Puama, and other ingredients found the combination can interact
with medications and may lead to irregular heartbeats. Horny Goat Weed may
increase bleeding if you’re taking blood thinners. In combination with blood
pressure medications, it may lower blood pressure, leading to dizziness or
falls.