Minna Limon: Cute, Squeezable Vibrator
I like my new Minna Limon so much that I’m starting to think of it almost as a pet rather than a product.It’s cute, touchable, squeezable, fun to play with, and responsive. But no, it’s not a pet — it’s a vibrator, and it’s a delight. This is a great gift for a loved one, a pal, or yourself.
It works like this: Power it on with the button, then squeeze the sides of the Limon. The harder you squeeze, the stronger the intensity. I love this idea!The Limon is squishy soft on the sides, but the little bud at the tip is firm. If you want a firm touch on your clitoris, use the tip. If you like the vibrating squishiness all over your vulva, use it side down.
You can hold it with your hand, or squeeze it between your thighs, mostly hands free. (I say “mostly” because it will skitter out of position unless you give it a hand from time to time.) Just be careful to position it so that you won’t accidentally press the control button.
You can even record a pattern. It’s easy. One press of the button powers on the Limon, a second press sets it recording. Do any pattern of vibrations and intensity that you want, for example, “quick-quick-cha-cha-cha-slowwwww” or gentle-stronger-INTENSE” or any pattern that appeals to you. Then do one more press to lock in the pattern. Now it will loop your pattern until you press again to unlock or hold down the button to power it off. (Once you do that, you’ll have to re-record the pattern next time you turn it on.)
Your question about constant speed vibration is a good one. Yes, we designed Limon to make this very easy. Here’s how you create a steady vibration:
1. Put the device in “Free Play” mode (only the power light will be on, such as right after you turn it on).
2. Squeeze Limon to your desired intensity. Strong, soft, or anything in between.
3. While squeezing to your desired intensity, do a slow double click of the button. Then you can stop squeezing. This puts Limon in “Lock Mode” with your desired intensity being looped.
That’s it! Just double click the button while squeezing in Free Play mode.
It worked! Now I can just gently hold the Limon in place for as long as I want while it vibrates on the strongest setting, with no arthritic stress at all.
- USB rechargeable (it sits on a magnet base and lights up as it charges).
- Made of body-safe silicone (use a water-based lubricant).
- Tiny and light for travel opportunities (best to put it in checked luggage rather than carry-on — we don’t know what the security folks will ask, or whether they’ll believe us if we tell them).
- No fumbling with controls with lube-covered fingers if we want to change the intensity — just keep it in Free Play and squeeze away.
- Holds its charge for a long time.
- Waterproof, so arousal can start in the tub or shower.
- So cute you’ll want it on display.
What do I wish were different?
[Minna Life provided me with a free Limon in return for an honest review.]
Cancer Survivor: Can I Have an Intimate Relationship Again?
A reader wrote:
I am 62, single, and once was a very sexually active woman. I’ve undergone treatment for breast cancer twice. My recovery required my full attention for years, but now I feel ready for new adventures — hopefully including sex. After rounds of chemotherapy, surgeries, radiation, and continued estrogen blocking medications, sex with another became a thing of the past.
Currently, sexual intercourse may no longer be possible for me — but I still enjoy having orgasms and I desire the wonder of touch.
However, I am so concerned about my limitations as a sexual partner that I am afraid to attempt to date again.
I have no idea what men in my age group expect or desire in terms of performance from their partners. What are woman experiencing in the 60-year-old dating world in terms of performance expectations? Would my current physical circumstance deter most men from being interested in exploring an intimate relationship with me?
I am grateful for this message and all it conveys about hope and healing and moving forward. I understand why you’re apprehensive. I would encourage you to get out there and go after what you want.
I know that many single men in our age group also fear “performance expectations” when erections are no longer possible or predictable. There are many who would welcome a sexual partner who did not expect intercourse, who would be happy exchanging touch, oral and manual stimulation, and fabulous orgasms — without intercourse.
These men may be cancer survivors themselves, wanting to return fully to life, including sex and intimacy, but they don’t know how to navigate the dating world either — when to divulge the cancer, when to divulge the sexual issues.
You might find out if there’s a local cancer survivors’ singles group. Or try online dating: I did a search on “cancer survivors singles” and came up with several sites that promote themselves as dating sites for cancer survivors.
There’s even one — “2date4love” — that “enables people who cannot engage in sexual intercourse to meet and experience love, companionship and intimacy.” I haven’t vetted any of these sites — if any of you have tried them, I hope you’ll share your experiences.
You don’t need to limit yourself to dating companions who share a similar medical history, though. Just be up front about your cancer on a first date if it looks like there’s potential for a second date. (If not, you don’t need to mention it.)
Then if you progress to a few dates and there’s chemistry, it’s important to explain that yes, you are interested in sex, but no, this might not include intercourse. Be prepared: Men who desire intercourse may want to discontinue getting to know you, and that’s okay.
When all the cards are on the table, if the relationship progresses, you have the delightful journey of exploring all the ways you can be sexual without intercourse!
Even when a date doesn’t progress to more, it’s still worth getting to know new people, “practicing” dating, trying out how to tell a potential partner about your needs, desires, and challenges.
If you take it all as part of the brave new world of dating experience, you don’t need to feel regretful or shamed when a new relationship (or potential relationship) doesn’t work out. Most of them will not work out — that’s the nature of the game.
Everything I’ve said so far presumed that you’re right that intercourse will not be possible for you. But please explore whether there are ways that you can heal yourself vaginally, if this is something you want to pursue. An excellent resource is “Vaginal Recuperation after Cancer or Surgery” from A Woman’s Touch, one of my favorite sexuality resource centers.
I hope you’ll check in again and share what you tried, how it worked for you, what you learned and gained.
I hope that you’ll share your thoughts, too, readers.
Gen Silent: Watch for free by 1/1/14
Please make time to watch Gen Silent. The producers of this LGBT Aging documentary have made it available free for home streaming through New Years Day 2014.
Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender older people who fought the first battles for equality now face so much fear of discrimination, bullying and abuse that many are hiding their lives to survive. Thousands are dying earlier than their straight counterparts because they are isolated and afraid to ask for help. But a growing number of people are fighting to keep
LGBT aging from meaning aging in silence.
“LGBT elders are going back in the closet.”
“In the first nursing home, we weren’t welcomed there as a gay couple.”
“They [caregivers] didn’t want to touch my body.”
“You just know when they don’t want you there. When you feel they don’t want you, you’re in a state of stress.”
“All I can do is sit in shadows, holding his tissue-paper hand, watching him breathe.”
These are comments from LGBT elders speaking out about the prejudice, hostility, and fear they face. No, not just when they were young, but now — in long-term care facilities, from caregivers, and from medical providers.
KrysAnne, a transgender woman, is living alone at the end of her life. “Most people who transition expect losses, but I didn’t expect to lose everyone,” she says. “For two years, I desperately tried to connect with my family. In some cases the letters weren’t even opened.”
One letter that was returned contained the message, “So glad someone finally took off your balls. What do you call yourself now. FREAK or IT??”
Thank you, filmmaker Stu Maddux, for making this stunning documentary and for providing it for free streaming right now. I’m not permitted to embed the video here, so please click here to watch it.
I am permitted to embed the trailer:
After you watch the film, I hope you’ll contribute your comments. (By posting here, you’re giving me permission to use excerpts from your comments in my new book, The Ultimate Guide to Sex after Fifty, without identifying you in any way.)
What do you want in a sex toy? Serious question to Boomers, seniors, elders
Sex toy manufacturers and retailers are aware that we Boomers, seniors, and elders use sex toys and are often frustrated when we buy products that don’t fit our needs or wants.
You may not realize that many of those manufacturers and retailers follow this blog. They are eager to know what we want, exactly. They want to understand us. And of course, they want to make and sell products that appeal to us and keep us very happy.
Let’s help them out. If you’re over 50, I invite you to comment on this post and describe the kind of sex toy you wish you could find. (If you think you already read this post, I’ve updated it and added more.)
Here are some ideas to start you out. Many of us want these qualities:
- Strong intensity.(Our king is the Hitachi Magic Wand.)
- Vibrations last a long time without losing the charge.
- Long-lasting product — does not break or die.
- High quality, body-safe materials, accurately described. (Don’t tell us it’s silicone if it’s not.)
- Materials and construction that doesn’t pinch, pound, or scratch delicate tissues.
- Instructions we can read without a magnifying glass. Or better, make the instructions truly intuitive.
- Handles and controls that we can use with fingers slippery from lubricant.
- Dimensions provided in your retail description.
- If insertable, slim version available (under 1.5″ diameter).
- Ergonomic — don’t make our arthritic wrists hurt.
Your turn — take it from here! What do you look for? What problems do you try to avoid? What should sex toy manufacturers and retailers know about how to serve you best? Here’s your chance to tell them.
Request: when you comment, if you want to remain anonymous, I’d appreciate it if you would use a first name of your choice (it doesn’t have to be your own). That way, instead of a string of comments from people all named “Anonymous,” we can keep track of who said what. Please include your real age in your comment or in the name you choose.
Note: By posting here or emailing me, you’re giving me permission to use excerpts in my new book, The Ultimate Guide to Sex after Fifty (Cleis Press) if they fit. What you tell me may help others significantly. (If I use your comments in my book, I won’t identify you in any way, and I’ll be careful to delete any details that might lead someone else to identify you.)
Note #2: If you represent a sex toy retailer or another sex-themed or other-themed site, read and learn, but do not try to pull my readers to your site using a link. I moderate comments, I look at the links, and your comment will not see the light of day if you do this. If you’d like information about advertising on this blog, or if you want me to review a toy that fits what my readers are requesting, please email me. If you try to spam my readers, I get very cranky and it doesn’t do you any good anyway. (If you’re an educational site or an author or sex educator, we do want to know about your site — you’re not spamming if you link.)
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