Orgasm Inc.: stunning expose of drug for fake disease
I just saw the film Orgasm Inc. You must see it. It’s a powerful expose of the medicalization of female sexuality, specifically the development and marketing of female sexual enhancement drugs based on a made-up “disease”: Female Sexual Dysfuncton (FSD). The “disease” was created by drug companies so that they could sell drugs and procedures that have not been proven to work and have not been proven safe!
Filmmaker Liz Canner was hired by one of these drug companies, and what she learned was so apalling that she went on to make this expose. I was stunned by it. Some of the reviews call it funny. Though there were some hilarious moments, the aftertaste isn’t funny.
How did the drug companies invent a disease? They asked women questions designed to unearth if they ever had trouble becoming aroused or reaching orgasm (duh, who hasn’t?) and labeled those dysfunctional who said yes to any of the questions. Although women’s sexual responses are complex and based on relationship, health, energy, worries, other medications, and emotional issues as well as physical function, these issues were neither addressed nor ruled out.
The result: a new dysfunction and a drug to address it, both of which were then promoted by highly paid health “experts” on TV news and talk shows. I’m itching to name a visible, well-known “expert” who — although she denied any financial interest in the drug — was paid $75,000 a day for her media appearances on Oprah and other shows. You’ll see her identified in the film.
Below is one video clip — see the official trailer here (I couldn’t embed that one).
6/7/10 update: When I wrote this post a few days ago, Orgasm Inc. was available on Amazon, and today when I checked it, it has disappeared from the listings. This is odd indeed. I’ll keep checking for its return. It is listed on Netflix, but the available date is unknown, as a reader commented. How frustrating — I really want you to be able to see it. I’ll update the info when this changes — keep checking back.
Cloud 9: German film takes risks portraying senior sex and love
Inge (brilliantly acted by Ursula Werner) has sex with her husband (Horst Rehberg), with herself, and several times with her lover (Horst Westphal). The film is graphic by US standards — you see all three characters’ naked bodies, both during lovemaking and just standing or sitting. The film seems to say, “These are the bodies we wear all day, so what’s the big deal? Why hide them?” The sex scenes are tender and erotic, and I, for one, thoroughly enjoyed them.
I have to applaud this film, not only for its refreshing and realistic treatment of senior sex and love, but because they didn’t make Inge an aging sex bomb. Rather, she’s a plain, frumpy woman with a chunky body and pendulous breasts, who sings in a choir and never seems to comb her hair. She’s not beautiful by any means, but she is radiant when she’s sexually turned on — which happens throughout the film — or laughing.
I’m skirting around the plot details because I don’t want to spoil it. Please see it. I welcome your comments (but please don’t give away the ending.)
You won’t find this film in your local movie listings, but Netflix has it, and so does Amazon
Little Chroma: tiny, elegant, and waterproof
The Little Chroma claims that although it has only one vibrational intensity, it’s the only one you need. I don’t go along with “one speed fits all” any more than “one size fits all,” but it is a very nice intensity, despite being powered by just one AA battery. I’m spoiled by my super-strong vibrators, but this one is stronger than I expected — maybe a 4 out of 5. The motor is replaceable should it give out after many uses, so although the price is hefty, you’ll get a lifetime of pleasure from it.
Here’s what I expecially like about my Little Chroma:
- It’s beautiful. It’s slim, designed to please the eye and hand as much as the pleasure spots it touches.
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It’s made of aluminum and holds temperature well. So if you like it cold, as I do (is that weird?), or hot, you can warm or cool it first under running water.
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It’s very smooth, feels splendid against tender tissues.
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If you want to use it in your vagina and you are one of the many women our age who experience vaginal tightness, this can be a lovely way to re-open up an arena of pleasure.
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The slim design makes it perfect for clitoral stimulation during partner intercourse — it won’t get in the way.
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It’s small enough to travel with you, even in a purse.
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It’s waterproof!
Although other reviewers have said this toy is silent, I didn’t find it so. It’s much quieter than most vibrators, yes–just a subdued hum–but it would probably wake up a lightly sleeping partner, if that’s your concern.
It’s always recommended to remove batteries when a toy isn’t in use, to prevent the toy from accidentally turning on and wearing itself out. I don’t usually bother to do that, but I certainly have to remove the battery from this one, because the vibrator turns on just by closing the cap. There’s no on-off switch — no controls at all, in fact. Open is off; closed is on. (That’s why the cap is partially unscrewed in the photos; otherwise it would be buzzing away.) That’s not a bad thing — the tight seal and lack of seams make it waterproof.
It’s also sturdy, despite its delicate look. I was testing it in the shower, and accidentally dropped it. It buzzed away on the floor until I picked it up without missing a beat. Of course I don’t recommend dropping it on a hard surface, but I was pleased that I did no damange.
Many thanks to Eden Fantasys for sending me this lovely toy to review.
Is there a Mr. Mean in your life? Interview with Jed Diamond
For more than 40 years, therapist Jed Diamond‘s personal and professional life has revolved around helping men and the women who love them. In his new book, Mr. Mean: Saving Your Relationship from the Irritable Male Syndrome
, he offers advice for women bewildered by a male partner’s irritability, anger, and withdrawal. He explains the reasons, the dynamics, and what she can do to help.
Irritable Male Syndrome (IMS), in Jed’s words, is “a state of hypersensitivity, anxiety, frustration, and anger that occurs in males and is associated with biochemical changes, hormonal fluctuations, stress, and loss of male identity.” Men with IMS will often take out their frustration and anger on their partners.
I interviewed Jed Diamond about IMS and how it might affect you and your relationship:
JP: You talk about IMS as starting in midlife. How does it progress through the senior years if steps aren’t taken to change it?
JD: Although IMS can occur at any age. It is most prevalent at midlife. The four main causes include: Hormonal fluctuations, changes in brain chemistry, increased stress, and confusion about male identity and roles. I recommend, for instance, that all men have their hormone levels checked throughout their lives, but particulalry as they reach mid-life. For many men, drops in levels of testosterone or other hormone imbalances can cause real problems with sexuality and health. With these issues are not addressed at mid-life, men become grumpier, more irritable, withdrawn, frustrated, and angry as they age.
JP: Describe Mr. Mean.
JD: I use the term “Mr. Mean” to describe men who have not dealt effectively with Irritable Male Syndrome. These men are often driven by aggression, either expressed directely, or more often suppressed. As a result they often seem: Grumpy, angry, gloomy, impatient, tense, hostile, lonely, and stressed. They don’t seem comfortable in their own skin. They may drink too much, become consumed with their work, or escape in other ways.
JP: How is Mr. Mean’s partner reacting to this?
JD: She often feels like she is “walking on egg shells.” She doesn’t know how he will react. Sometimes he is easy going, loving, and tender. But he may also fly off the handle and react with anger. Or he may simply withdraw into hostile silence. She may go out of her way to be kind and understanding, but she is confused about what is going on with him. It may seem like she is living with a partner who can change from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde. Without help and support, she can feel increasingly alone and hopeless.
JP: How does IMS affect the couple’s sex life, especially in the senior years?
JD: A good sex life rests on the foundation of safety and trust. If a person can act like Mr. Wonderful on one occassion and Mr. Mean on another, its difficult to feel secure or intimate. Without intimacy, sex either becomes more of a duty than a joy, or it occurs less and less often and the relationship suffers. Without the hormonal intensity of youth, sex relies even more on caring, trust, and intimacy. Irritable Male Syndrome can undermines that trust.
JP: How does the woman typically react when this change happens in their sexual relationship?
JD: Most women I counsel feel very confused. They don’t understand what is going on with their partner. He may often blame her for things he feels she isn’t doing right. She often feels “battered” by his stormy reactions. He may be very demanding sexually or he may totally ignore her. He often feels like she is riding a roller-coaster that is in danger of going off the rails. She often is desperate to reclaim the calm she may have rememebered and to get back to the joy and intimacy they may have had in the past. If the couple can talk about what is going on, there are many things they can do together to reclaim the good feelings that may have gotten lost.
JP: Give us some tips for talking about sex when this is going on.
JD: Before a couple can talk easily about sex, they have to feel a level of trust. If the trust is being undermined by IMS, that needs to be dealt with first. If hormone levels are out of balance, they need to be brought back in line. Hormone replacement therapy can be considered, but men can also benefit from changes in diet, exercise, changes in mind-set. Often men at this age need to reclaim their vision of who they are and what they have to contribute in the world. Women often support each other in finding the generative qualities of aging. Men need to learn to do that as well.
JP: Many of my readers are single at age 50-80+ and are dating. Are single Mr. Means out there dating? If so, at what point in a new relationship does IMS start showing itself?
JD: For some, we can see the following kinds of traits very quickly. The man is often annoyed, touchy, jealous, irritable, and negative. For others, he may give the appreance of being easy-going and upbeat, but the IMS qualities come out later. Other men are genuinely joyous, but there may be new changes that can trigger IMS symptoms. His hormone levels may drop too low. His diet may be bad and he may put on extra weight. He may not be exercising. There may be physical and emotional losses that may be difficult to deal with. The key for the man, and for those who care about him, is to learn about the positive things that can be done to stay healthy and joyous throughout our lives. We are given the gift of these years. We want to use them wisely and well.
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Jed Diamond, PhD, author of Mr. Mean: Saving Your Relationship from the Irritable Male Syndrome
