Posts Tagged ‘media’
Who Called In the Creeps?
I apologize profusely to any readers who were subjected to the dozens of nasty and profane comments that were posted to my blog the morning of Dec. 5. I deleted them and easily traced the trashing of my blog to an organized attack led by the fan message board of a shock-jock radio show.
The listeners apparently found the idea of joyful senior sex icky and set out to trash “the old lady sex blog,” as they called it, by posting more than 40 obscene, racist, sexist, ageist, offensive messages.
Wow, this really surprised me, and continues to.
Too many people with too much time on their hands, too much meanness in their hearts, and too little capacity for intimacy, perhaps. I wonder how they treat their grandparents. We might discuss their fears of aging and sexuality, and their need to keep us as the “other” — easy, even enjoyable, to stereotype and demean.
If you’ve tried to post a comment and it hasn’t been accepted, I’m being particularly careful here because they’ve tried to continue the assault with comments that pretend to be sympathetic.
Chris Smith wrote a nice paragraph about me in his column in the Press Democrat Dec. 5, and I had many new visitors that morning. I hope they realize that I was sabotaged, and they don’t stay away because of what they read before I got to it. I’ve changed my settings so that now I’ll moderate all comments before they appear. Sorry it was necessary.
— Joan
12/7 update: I was able to listen to the radio show that set off this assault by reading aloud from this blog for many minutes. I sent this note to the producer, who invited me to appear on the show:
I heard [the hosts] discuss my topic, book, blog, and the personal stories of those who opened their lives to me. I choose to preserve a level of dignity about older people enjoying sex and intimacy that is at odds with the show’s glee at ridiculing them.
Therefore, I decline your invitation.
More on ABC Nightline show
On Friday, Dec. 1, ABC Nightline aired the segment on senior dating and sex, including an interview with me and a bit of my love story with Robert.
I had no idea how Nightline’s hours of interview time would translate to a couple of minutes of air time. I knew the emphasis of the show would be on seniors’ risky sexual behavior, and I hoped there would also be room for the joy and intimacy of senior sexuality.
ABC did a great job putting this show together and — yes — conveying not only the cautions that our age group needs to be aware of, but also the joy and exuberance — as well as the challenges — of being fully alive in aging bodies.
I was thrilled when I saw it. Having watched it five times now, though, it’s a little embarrassing that so much focus was on how creaky our aging bodies become! I liked that the creaky talk was juxtaposed with the energetic and not-the-least-bit-creaky line dance visuals – that was cool. (And it’s amusing that I’m receiving emails from people recommending specific mattresses and arthritis remedies to combat the creakiness!)
One thing I didn’t mention in my background story in the post below: We had some laughs before the taping, when I asked what language was acceptable and what wasn’t. I knew I’d be reading aloud from reader comments on my blog, and I’m used to speaking frankly. Respectfully, but frankly.
We all laughed together as we went over words: “erection” was OK, “hard” wasn’t. When they told me that “clitoris” was okay, I reduced the crew to hysterics when I proclaimed, “Great! I’ve always wanted to say ‘clitoris’ on national TV!” But …it turns out I didn’t!
Did you see the show? What did you think?
Joan on ABC Nightline 12/1/06: senior dating/ sex
(photo of Vicki Mabrey from ABC Nightline)
Air date update: The senior dating/sex segment ran December 1, 2006!
Tuesday, October 24, put me on a natural high that still makes me tingle. That’s the day that ABC Nightline came to Sebastopol, CA to film an interview me for a segment about senior dating, sex, and sexual health.
First, the film crew met me at Coaches’ Corner, where I teach line dancing, and filmed my line dancers (who had assembled for a contemporary line dance demo) for an hour. It was both strange and exhilarating to dance with cameras literally in our faces, at our feet, everywhere we turned. I am grateful to our fabulous line dancers who kept their cool and kept on dancing and smiling.
The crew then drove to our house and settled in: moving furniture, asking Robert to move some of his paintings so the right color painting would be behind me, setting up lights in two different rooms, checking the lights and sound with me sitting, talking, typing. They filmed me typing and reading the Sex and Dating comments of my blog. (Thank you, those of you who commented!)
Next Vicki Mabrey, the 4-time Emmy award winning correspondent, and producer Talesha Reynolds arrived from New York. Fabulous women, full of spirit, they seemed to enjoy every word as they interviewed me for about 2.5 hours. We talked about many subjects related to seniors dating, loving, having sex. We discussed our culture’s stereotypes of older people having sex as either ludicrous or icky. (You know how I feel about that!)
At the end of it all, Vicki and Talesha asked me to teach them a line dance, which I did with pleasure. We danced, shook our hips, and laughed together.
I’m thrilled about getting the opportunity to “speak out” on this important topic to a huge audience. I’ll check in again here after the show airs.
Autumn of Love: “We are having hot, fabulous sex after 60”
Freelance writer Mark L. Fuerst wrote a terrific article based on an interview with me which has appeared in several newspapers, such as The Missoulian, Florida Today, and others. I thought you’d enjoy reading it:
Autumn of Love
Birds do it, bees to it, even educated older couples can, too. Here’s some straight talk about sex after 60.
By Mark L. Fuerst
CTW FeaturesSociety’s view of aging women as sexless is wrong. “Many of us are having the best sex of our lives. We are having hot, fabulous sex after 60,” says Joan Price, author of “Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty” (Seal Press, 2006).
Some 70 percent of sexually active women over 60 reported being as satisfied or more satisfied with their sexual lives than they were in their 40s, according to a 1998 survey of nearly 1,300 Americans aged 60 or older, conducted by the National Council on Aging, Washington, D.C.
“My experience certainly supports that,” says Price, who also is a dance instructor, fitness professional, speaker and health writer. “In my 40s, I was unnerved by the realization that my sex life was being affected by undeniable signs and feelings of aging. Now I’ve grown past wanting to hold onto to youth in the bedroom, and as a result I feel truly present with my lover and capable of intense satisfaction.”
Changes after menopause make sexual enjoyment challenging, but “we’re using our creativity, our personal power, the joy and intimacy of our relationships, and useful tools of all sorts — from sex toys to a sense of humor — to tackle those challenges,” Price says.
The book is mainly about her intensely up-front-and-personal story of hot sex with her 68-year-old lover, Robert, whom she married earlier this year, along with snippets of interviews with other sexually seasoned women about their experiences.
“Sexual response is in our brains. I’m in love with the man I’ve been looking for my whole life, whom I met when I was 57 and he was 64,” says Price, age 61 when she wrote the book. “We’re as turned on by each other as a couple of teenagers, but with the juicy addition of decades of life experience, self-knowledge, communication skills and a sense of humor. We’re also willing to experiment and stretch our boundaries.”
Kaycee, age 66, says, “Keep an open mind. Remember that there is always something new to try and so many men out there. Sex after 60 could be the best time of your life if you play it right.”
Price adds that “we overcome the physical challenges by being inventive and resourceful. We take advantage of the lessened urgency by slowing things down, taking more time.”
You call that ‘older’?
Unfortunately, society has not become more accepting of older-age sexuality. “One day I watched some television talk shows about the sexiness of older women. They dressed sexy, pole-danced, and taught the audience how to strip. But these so-called ‘older’ women were probably in their 40s! I’d like to see women who admit and look like they’re over 60 on these talk shows, rousing other older women to assert their sexuality. We need to accept that women can and do stay sexy through the decades, and it doesn’t stop when we no longer can hide the wrinkles or saggy skin.”
Claire, age 66, says, “I think my body is great. I have all the wrinkles and brown spots, and that’s fine, that’s who I am. And the body works better than it ever has. The woman I’m with thinks I’m the most beautiful woman she’s ever seen in her life, which makes me feel great. I wish women could just learn to love their bodies like I have done, and refuse to buy the social stuff that’s out there about youth and beauty. We are all beautiful.”
Phoebe, age 64, says, “Generally my life is easier, less driven, so sex is a part of it rather than a driving force. It is easier not being controlled by my hormones and sex drive. Also, I feel very self-confident about my sexuality and attractiveness, pleased that I am attractive to others, even younger men.”
One of Price’s major messages is that boomers are redefining aging and sexuality. “We’re the Love Generation; we practically invented sex,” she says. “We’re not about to shut the gates now!”
The article also includes my tips for keeping sex vibrant and fun as we age, which you can read here.
Many thanks to Mark L. Fuerst and to CTW Features for permission to reprint this article here.
— Joan