What You Should Never Say/Send to a Senior Sex Educator
I make it easy to contact me via email or Facebook because I do want to hear from you. I love reading your stories, questions, and concerns. 95% of you are totally respectful — you understand that I’m on a mission of senior sex education — not titillation or exhibitionism — and you engage with me on that basis.But part of making myself easy to contact is that sometimes (rarely, thankfully) I get creepy emails and inappropriate messages.
Here’s a sample. They’re all real. I couldn’t make this up. Names withheld so the writers won’t be more embarrassed than we need them to be:
- “i must say nothing more sexy then some one over 60 nude i just love it. ever get to pa” and later he added, “could i say you would not need that toy” Uh huh, and what have you told me that will make me want to get nude with you in Pennsylvania? Listen, guys, just because you can type without capital letters and you feel like propositioning someone, that doesn’t mean you should. And even if you’re God’s gift to women, don’t presume that you’ll replace my Magic Wand.
- “I like what you said tonight. Okay if I send you some drunken, dirty texts?” This was said to me after I gave a bookstore reading. No, thank you, do not send me either drunken or dirty texts, and certainly do not combine drunken and dirty. That will never interest me in the slightest.
- Do not ever, ever send me a picture of your penis. I like penises a lot. Some of my best friends have penises. All of my lovers have had penises. But that’s the thing — I like penises that are owned by men I like. A photo of a penis all by itself, hanging out of unzipped jeans (as was the one a 22-year-old man sent me recently), will never make me go, “Yum.”
Enjoyed your comments, very funny.
Hi Joan: I’m 74 and my wife died about 10 months ago. I was in a bad place for a couple of months wondering if life was worth living. Then I connected with a lady on our high school web site that I had know since I was seven. She had been a widow for twenty years. We got together and things went great. My late wife and I had been married for 43 years, the last 38 with no intimate relations at her request. She never told me why she didn’t want to have sex any more but I think it was her back problems. My new lady indicated she liked sex. I have met and like everyone in her family. She moved out of her apartment and into my house three weeks ago. It’s a fairly new house but some things need to be finished. I just paid to have the finish floor put down, tiling is almost done, just paid big bucks to have the 1/4 mile driveway redone. Changed a bedroom into her office, another bedroom into her quiet room. She seems to be drifting away rather then closer. A few hugs and kisses so far is as close as intimate as we have been. Any suggestions.
Terry, from what you’ve said, she moved in with you after knowing you for just a few months, and this was during your first 9 months of grief. I think you’d do better getting to know each other without rushing to live together. Any way to unroll that decision?
As an introduction to your blog, this was hilarious!
I imagine that this may just be the tip of the iceberg that you have shared with us – my sympathies !
Very pleased to make your blogging acquaintance,
Just discovered you and I am an instant fan. I'm a few years under 60 , a cancer survivor and know what it is to fight for a reborn sexuality.
Joan: Just found this blog. I am a Senior. Wondering why I am MORE motivated for sex than I have ever been before. (And by the way, the comments that you shared with us were disgusting….)
Hilarious! I love the reaction shots of Joan!
Spare us, please. I've only just had my breakfast.