Are you new to sex toys and nervous about buying one? Why should you even care about vibrators? You got this far in life without one, so what’s the big deal? Read on to learn more about vibrators for seniors.
A well-chosen, well-placed vibrator can be the difference between orgasm and no orgasm for seniors – it’s sometimes that simple.
Many older bodies need more intense stimulation than fingers or a mouth or partner’s genitals can provide. Our own or a lover’s hand and other body parts may feel wonderful and arousing, but many of us feel stuck without more intensity: vibrator-quality intensity.
If this rings true for you, you’re not defective – this is just how your body works. Lucky for us, there are many excellent options guaranteeing that you can find one – or many! – that get you from arousal to orgasm.
What do seniors need?
I started reviewing vibrators on this blog in 2009, when I was a mere youth of 66. The older I got, the fussier I became about the sex toy qualities that work best for seniors and for me personally. Now I review products “from a senior perspective” because the needs of older bodies differ from younger folks. For example:
- We need vibrators that give us intense sensation when needed. Our hormones and blood flow no longer rush to arouse us, so we need more powerful stimulation to rev us up. Many of us can’t reach orgasm without it. If we’re longtime vibrator users, we may find that a toy from our past is no longer strong enough.
- We need vibrators that don’t quit on us. Arousal is slower and less dependable for most of us. Our vibrators need to warm us up and stay with us for as long as we need, without overheating, losing their charge, or irritating sensitive tissues.
- We want comfort. Older vulvas and vaginas are more delicate than they were in our youth. Despite needing more sensation, most of us don’t want hard materials or pounding pressure. We may need cushioning between the strong, rumbling vibrations and our sensitive skin.
- We want ergonomic design. Arthritic wrists and hands are common. It hurts when we must bend or twist our wrist to hold a toy in position. We like strong vibrations on our genitals but not pulsing through our hands. The best designed vibrators let us concentrate on our pleasure without worrying how long our wrists can hold out.
- Many of us want slimmer insertable toys. Vulva owners who enjoy vaginal penetration may require a slim fit for comfort now. Learn what you need for your own comfort. Check the dimensions of the thickest insertable part of a product before ordering.
- We require body-safe materials. Some of the cheapest toys (especially knock-offs from shady stores or Amazon) are made of toxic materials that don’t belong anywhere near the fragile skin of aginggenitals. Purchase quality products from known vendors.
- Penis vibrators, no erection required. Penis owners benefit from the extra stimulation of vibrators. Older penises may have unreliable erections or ED, but they can still feel pleasure and reach orgasm with the right stimulation. They need sex toys that don’t require an erection to use it, unlike the “masturbation sleeve” products. Creative companies like Hot Octopuss and Fun Factory have designed powerful vibrators that work even when the penis is semi-hard or flaccid.
- Bonus points for easy controls. We want controls we can see and differentiate, even with slippery, lubed fingers. What a buzz kill when we meant to press “power up” for stronger intensity, and instead we hit “power off”! Please, sex toy manufacturers, don’t make us grab our reading glasses mid-action. Give us controls we can adjust by touch.
How do I know what I want?
If you’re a sex toy novice, don’t buy the first product that looks good in an ad or on the shelf. Obviously, you can’t take it to a back room to give it an orgasmic whirl before buying, but this process will help you choose:
- What do you personally need to orgasm? There are so many different shapes, sizes, and styles of vibrators, and we’re all different in what works for us. Read my “How to Choose a Vibrator” to narrow your choices. Answer the 8 questions there to narrow down your choices.
- Watch my Sex Toys for Seniors webinar. This 90-minute crash course in sex toys for seniors covers what vibrators can do for you that a hand or partner can’t, how to choose the best one(s) for you, busting myths about vibrator use (such as whether it will desensitize you and how to address a partner’s objections), and much more. I show you a large selection of highly recommended vibrators and help you decide if they’re right for you. See my webinar page for pricing.
- Read reviews (such as mine from a senior perspective) to get a better idea of how certain toys work for some people. Use reviews to further narrow down your choices. Learn to discern between a review (someone personally tested the product and reports on the experience) and a marketing promotion (designed to sell the product, not help you evaluate if it’s for you).
- Emphasize quality over cost if you can afford it. The higher-priced items don’t cut corners in product design, body-safe materials, and reliability. They’ll last longer, too.
- Learn as much as you can about the products you’re considering, asking yourself, “Which one(s) would be right for my needs, my challenges, my preferences? If there’s a progressive, education-based sex toy store in your area, visit in person. If not, purchase from online retailers that emphasize customer satisfaction and an openness to the needs of our age group, such as the ones I link to in reviews and on my blog’s right-hand column.
I originally wrote a slightly different version of this post for the Lion’s Den blog. You can see the original here.