Vibrators for Seniors – especially for first-timers

Are you new to sexvibrators for seniors toys and nervous about buying one? Why should you even care about vibrators? You got this far in life without one, so what’s the big deal? Read on to learn more about vibrators for seniors.

A well-chosen, well-placed vibrator can be the difference between orgasm and no orgasm for seniors – it’s sometimes that simple.

Many older bodies need more intense stimulation than fingers or a mouth or partner’s genitals can provide. Our own or a lover’s hand and other body parts may feel wonderful and arousing, but many of us feel stuck without more intensity: vibrator-quality intensity.

If this rings true for you, you’re not defective – this is just how your body works. Lucky for us, there are many excellent options guaranteeing that you can find one – or many! – that get you from arousal to orgasm.

What do seniors need?

I started reviewing vibrators on this blog in 2009, when I was a mere youth of 66. The older I got, the fussier I became about the sex toy qualities that work best for seniors and for me personally. Now I review products “from a senior perspective” because the needs of older bodies differ from younger folks. For example:

  • We need vibrators that give us intense sensation when needed. Our hormones and blood flow no longer rush to arouse us, so we need more powerful stimulation to rev us up. Man2021 gift picksy of us can’t reach orgasm without it. If we’re longtime vibrator users, we may find that a toy from our past is no longer strong enough.
  • We need vibrators that don’t quit on us. Arousal is slower and less dependable for most of us. Our vibrators need to warm us up and stay with us for as long as we need, without overheating, losing their charge, or irritating sensitive tissues.
  • We want comfort. Older vulvas and vaginas are more delicate than they were in our youth. Despite needing more sensation, most of us don’t want hard materials or pounding pressure. We may need cushioning between the strong, rumbling vibrations and our sensitive skin.
  • We want ergonomic design. Arthritic wrists and hands are common. It hurts when we must bend or twist our wrist to hold a toy in position. We like strong vibrations on our genitals but not pulsing through our hands. The best designed vibrators let us concentrate on our pleasure without worrying how long our wrists can hold out.
  • Many of us want slimmer insertable toys. Vulva owners who enjoy vaginal penetration may require a slim fit for comfort now. Learn what you need for your own comfort. Check the dimensions of the thickest insertable part of a product before ordering.
  • We require body-safe materials. Some of the cheapest toys (especially knock-offs from shady stores or Amazon) are made of toxic materials that don’t belong anywhere near the fragile skin of aging genitals. Purchase quality products from known vendors.
  • Penis vibrators, no erection required. Penis owners benefit from the extra stimulation of vibrators. Older penises may have unreliable erections or ED, but they can still feel pleasure and reach orgasm with the right stimulation. They need sex toys that don’t require an erection to use it, unlike the “masturbation sleeve” products. Creative companies like Hot Octopuss have designed powerful vibrators that work even when the penis is semi-hard or flaccid.
  • Bonus points for easy controls. We want controls we can see and differentiate, even with slippery, lubed fingers. What a buzz kill when we meant to press “power up” for stronger intensity, and instead we hit “power off”! Please, sex toy manufacturers, don’t make us grab our reading glasses mid-action. Give us controls we can adjust by touch.

 

How do I know what I want?

If you’re a sex toy novice, don’t buy the first product that looks good in an ad or on the shelf. Obviously, you can’t take it to a back room to give it an orgasmic whirl before buying, but this process will help you choose:

  1. What do you personally need to orgasm? There are so many different shapes, sizes, and styles of vibrators, and we’re all different in what works for us. Read my “How to Choose a Vibrator” to narrow your choices. Answer the 8 questions there to narrow down your choices.
  2. Watch my Sex Toys for Seniors webinar. This 90-minute crash course in sex toys for seniors covers what vibrators can do for you that a hand or partner can’t, how to choose the bSex Toys for Seniorsest one(s) for you, busting myths about vibrator use (such as whether it will desensitize you and how to address a partner’s objections), and much more. I show you a large selection of highly recommended vibrators and help you decide if they’re right for you. See my webinar page for pricing.
  3. Read reviews (such as mine from a senior perspective) to get a better idea of how certain toys work for some people. Use reviews to further narrow down your choices. Learn to discern between a review (someone personally tested the product and reports on the experience) and a marketing promotion (designed to sell the product, not help you evaluate if it’s for you).
  4. Emphasize quality over cost if you can afford it. The higher-priced items don’t cut corners in product design, body-safe materials, and reliability. They’ll last longer, too.
  5. Learn as much as you can about the products you’re considering, asking yourself, “Which one(s) would be right for my needs, my challenges, my preferences? If there’s a progressive, education-based sex toy store in your area, visit in person. If not, purchase from online retailers that emphasize customer satisfaction and an openness to the needs of our age group, such as the ones I link to in reviews and on my blog’s right-hand column.
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I originally wrote a slightly different version of this post for the Lion’s Den blog. You can see the original here.

8 Comments

  1. Linda on November 19, 2024 at 11:35 pm

    I’m completely new at this. I’m divorced from a cheating husband. He wasn’t even able to bring me to climax. I just turned 72 and Really miss the orgasms I had throughout my thirties. My first husband could bring me to climax with barely trying. After him, I used my hand but my hand got really tired. What do think is best for me?

    • Joan Price on November 20, 2024 at 8:57 am

      Linda, I can’t choose for you. Click the links in the “How do I know what I want?” section for help figuring that out, especially “How to Choose a Vibrator” : https://joanprice.com/2021/01/how-to-choose-a-vibrator.html

    • George and Ann on November 23, 2024 at 9:53 am

      Linda,
      We would suggest the Hitachi Magic Wand Mini. (Not the Micro, the mini). This wand type vibrator is rechargeable so cords do not get in the way. It is light enough to be held and used easily even with some weakness and arthritis. It is powerful enough to reliably stimulate the clitoris specifically and vulva generally to orgasm. It can be used during partner sex and not interfere with penis penetration. It travels easily.

      It is equally important that you find a lube that feels good and causes no irritation. We recommend water-based lubricants. Lubes are personal choices, we recommend trying several. We prefer the Sliquid Organics Natural, see https://sliquid.com/shop/all-intimate-lubricants/natural-sliquid-organics/

      We have no financial interest in the products or the vendors.

      Have fun!

  2. Maya on January 29, 2023 at 8:27 am

    What’s PIV?

    • Joan Price on January 29, 2023 at 10:15 am

      PIV = penis-in-vagina intercourse. We should have specified, thank you.

  3. Dan on November 30, 2022 at 12:01 pm

    Good tool post. but PIV is best when possible. My post…response this morning on a kink blog. A guy posts a great erotic still shot, pic of PIV entrance with his lady. But no lube!! The guy M67 is missing out. Why is lube deemed unsexy?
    my post, response…in return:

    “67? Male? Where’s the copious lube in this shot? Old guys , older women…need lube!
    Lots. Joan Price w Naked At Our Age taught me this. Thanks to her class. I order it now by the 34oz..

    • Joan Price on December 3, 2022 at 12:54 pm

      Dan, PIV may be best for you, but please don’t insist that it’s therefore best for everyone. As you know, I encourage people to explore sexual pleasure that isn’t limited to PIV. Plus this post is an introduction to vibrators!

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