Posts by Joan Price
Doxy Die Cast: So Strong!
There’s a new sheriff in town, and her name is Doxy Die Cast. She’s strong, brightly colored, strong, made of a snazzy aluminum/titanium alloy, strong. Did I mention that the Doxy Die Cast is strong? Strong as in lie-back-and-it’ll-happen strong, even if your orgasms usually take a lot of effort. If you like a high intensity clitoral vibrator, this power tool will sing to you in great, rumbly, throbby tones.Let’s back up. I had the privilege of talking to Ruby Goodnight from Doxy at the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit last month. At the Doxy booth, I was dazzled by the gorgeous colors of the Die Cast models. After turning one on, I was even more dazzled by the strength of the vibrations.
In 2014, I had written a glowing review of the original Doxy Wand, so Ruby was familiar with my love of Doxy. When I told her I had to review this new model, she said she worried about its heavy heft for me, because she knew I wanted sex toys to work with arthritic wrists. That’s one of my criteria for reviewing sex toys.
However, having experienced the Doxy Die Cast, I must repeat what I said about the original Doxy:
I generally prefer vibrators that are easy on arthritic wrists — this one is not. It’s heavy, it’s huge, and I would be in pain from trying to hold it for any length of time. However, that’s irrelevant, because it works so fast that my wrist barely notices. Yes, it’s that good.
What do I love about the Doxy Die Cast? Let me count the ways:
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- It’s really strong. (Yeah, I know I’ve made that point already, but that is the point.)
- The head is made of body-safe silicone and has a bit of cush for comfort.
- The head is large enough to send vibrations over much of the vulva and the internal clitoris, those pleasure-giving nerve endings under the surface. (See my Clitoring for an illustration of the wishbone-
shaped part of the clitoris that we don’t see.)
- The control buttons are large, easy and comfortable to press, and they light up.
- The vibrant color wouldn’t be enough to sell me on a vibrator, but when I’m already sold, gorgeousness is an added bonus.
The Doxy Die Cast is easy to use — just press the power button quickly to turn it on, then increase or decrease intensity with the “+” or “-” buttons. But there’s also a mode called the “pulse setting” that you might not find on your own if you don’t read the manual. This is a revving up from low intensity to high. Once you’re in this mode, the “+” or “-” buttons vary the rate of acceleration. I usually don’t care about vibrational patterns, but this is especially pleasing! Access the “pulse setting” it by turning off the Doxy, then press the power button for two seconds and it will be running in pulse mode.
Here are some things you might not like so much, though they don’t bother me when compared to the pleasure:
- It’s big and heavy — 13″ long by 2.38″ wide, weighing 1.8 pounds.
- It has to stay plugged in while in use. (That’s understandable for powering a motor that strong.)
- Be careful following the instruction booklet, which is not completely correct for this model. Since the Doxy Die Cast has a silicone head (not “medical grade PVC” as it says — that’s a different Doxy), you do not want to use silicone lubricant with it, despite the booklet’s instructions — use water-based lube instead. Doxy tells me that these errors will be corrected on the next print run.
It comes with its own cushioned storage case. It’s a huge, hardshell case, 19″ long, so don’t expect to carry it in a backpack. I would have appreciated a storage pouch in case I wanted to store or pack it without the mondo case, but this case will keep it clean and protected.
The Doxy Die Cast is available from SheVibe, a splendid sex toy shop with a devoted blogger following, because they treat their bloggers and their customers so well. Their website is also fun, because of the sexy comic art throughout the site. Check it out.
(Would you please tell SheVibe that they need some artwork showing people our age? Do you see me with my hand in the air, volunteering to pose?)
PalmPower: Now rechargeable!
8/8/2016. Updated review, thanks to the new rechargeable version of the PalmPower!
August 2016 update:
Woo hoo, my beloved little PalmPower now has a rechargeable model, aptly named the PalmPower Recharge. If you’re not familiar with the original PalmPower, read my June 2014 review below, then come back here.
The original model had to be plugged in while you used it. Not a big deal for most of us. But if you want to take your vibrator on a camping trip, or use it with a partner without getting tangled up, or you want to travel light on an overnight, you might have wished that you could charge your PalmPower, then take it away cord-free. Now you can. The PalmPower Recharge comes with a USB cord for recharging, then you can disconnect the cord and play on.
How’s the intensity compared to the corded version? Very similar, not exactly the same. I found the rechargeable a smidgen less intense and a bit more rumbly than the buzzier original model. It’s still powerful, especially given its small size. The design, size, shape are all the same, and the same attachments fit on both. Neither model is waterproof. You can remove and wash the cap (or other attachment), but you can’t use the PalmPower in the bath or the pool, sorry.
If you’ve wished you had a strong, portable, small, uncorded vibrator that didn’t require an outlet during use, the PalmPower Recharge will put a sweet, satisfied smile on your face. If you already have the original and the necessity of using it corded isn’t a significant annoyance, stick with that one.
Many thanks to the Smitten Kitten for sending me the new model, for promoting sex positivity and sex education, and for supporting my mission here. Wonderful folks, those Kittens.
If you’re curious about the ring in the photo above, it’s the Clitoring from Penelopi Jones. The design is the internal clitoris — quite a conversation starter, eh? After I bought mine, I asked if they would offer a discount to my readers and audiences — yep, if you enter “niceprice” in the coupon box, you get 15% off.
Original review, June 2014:
Drum roll, please: Introducing the PalmPower, a lightweight, ergonomically designed product that packs so much power into a small, silicone topped vibrator that it jumped to #1 on my personal Hit Parade the first time I used it. And the second time. And… you get the picture.
Let me back up. If I were inventing a vibrator that would be perfect for me, at age 70, and for most of you, dear readers over 50, it would have these qualities:
- Really strong.
- Body-safe materials.
- Really strong.
- Lightweight and ergonomic — easy to hold with arthritic wrists for as long as it takes.
- Really strong.
- Easy to power on and turn up the intensity, even when fingers and vibrator are well lubed.
- Really strong.
- Difficult or impossible to inadvertently decrease intensity, switch to unwanted patterns, or turn off by mistake. (Hate it when that happens!)
- Really strong.
- Won’t die, run out of charge, or otherwise kill the buzz (literally and figuratively) for as long as it takes.
- Really strong.
Until last week, the Magic Wand — my favorite since the 1970s — was the clear winner, with all but one of the qualities above. But you know that the Magic Wand, as stellar as it is in every other category, is far from “lightweight.” It’s huge and heavy, but we put up with that because of its world class performance. (And, frankly, it doesn’t take very long to reach our goal with the Magic Wand, so the monster heft of it does no real damage.)
The PalmPower has taken over as my favorite vibrator because it has all the qualities in my list. All of them, including lightweight. Best of all, as small as it is, the vibrations are super strong, strong, STRONG!
Using the PalmPower is simple. Plug it in (it comes with an assortment of plugs for different countries), press the button to turn it on. The longer you hold the button pressed in, the higher the intensity climbs! Release when you get the intensity where you want it, and it will stay there! (Sorry for all the exclamation marks, but I wish all vibrators worked like this.) Press and release quickly to turn it off. That’s it.
The head of the vibrator is a silicone cap that pulls off easily for cleaning or for trying a different attachment. To put it on, line up the “T” inside the cap with the “T” on the head, and it snaps right on. (I couldn’t get a clear photo of the “T,” sorry.)
I received two of the four possible attachments — one with narrow “ears” and one with widely spaced “ears.”
You can use the main cap and/or these attachments for honest-to-goodness massage, and the “ears” are also fun for penis stimulation. (Try the narrow ears on his frenulum, that sensitive, nerve-rich area where the glans meets the shaft on the underside of the penis.)
There are two more attachments that I did not receive — one turns the PalmPower into a rabbit (clitoral and vaginal stimulation) and the other is designed for G-spot stimulation.
6/267/14 update: I’ve tested the additional attachments. The “rabbit” doesn’t do much for me, but I was surprised to discover that I really like the G-spotter! Here’s why:
- It fits so snugly that the PalmPower becomes hands-free (!)
- The strongest vibrations are concentrated on the clitoris (where the cap presses), with more subdued vibrations right against the G-spot (where the internal part presses)
- You can play with tapping it, rocking it, or just letting it sit and vibrate. Yummy.
The Palm Power does have some cons, but I’ll overlook them because of all the pros:
- It has to be plugged in while in use. (It comes with a nice, long cord, though, so you don’t have to station yourself near the wall socket.)
- Only the silicone cap can be washed — the rest has to be wiped down without getting it wet. Be careful with the lube.
Hmmn, I think those are the only cons. It’s a fabulous product!
Thank you, The Smitten Kitten, for introducing me to the PalmPower and sending me my new best buddy in return for an honest review.
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| Joan pretends the PalmPower is a microphone |
Eight Years Later… reflections on loving, losing, and living on
August 2, 2008: I kissed Robert, my husband and great love, for the last time. Exactly seven years before that, we kissed for the first time. Over the years I’ve chronicled our love story and my grief story. Last year at this time, I had been without him for the same number of years as we were together. Today, I had to tick off another year without him.
I wasn’t sure whether — or how — I would write about this today. I read my past posts about losing Robert, and my past posts about loving Robert. I reread the little book he wrote just before he died: the last thoughts he wanted to share.
Then when I started reading some of the cards and letters he wrote me, I decided I’d let Robert speak for himself. I share some of these to show you that it’s never too late to find your great love, and maybe we shouldn’t settle for anything less.
If your beloved is with you still, please set aside the petty things that annoy you, solve the big issues as best you can, communicate your needs in an honest and loving way, and please let your loved one know your gratitude and appreciation. Surprise your loved one with sweet messages. Make every day together count.
And if you’ve lost your loved one, know that it does get better year by year, especially if you stay active and let people get close to you. It’s all too easy to close down and shut people out. But don’t! Find ways to live with joy and clarity. Keep learning. Use your skills and knowledge to help others.
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| Front of postcard |
One the first anniversary of Robert’s death, a grief counselor suggested that I do one thing that honors my memory of Robert, one thing that I’ve never done before, and one thing that helps other people. That turned out to be good advice, not just at year one, but at every anniversary, birthday, and holiday — those days when the pain can be especially sharp.
Moving forward, I’ve learned, doesn’t mean that we’ve left our loved one behind — it means we take with us what we shared, what we learned, and above all, that we know how to love and live fully. Eventually we find that the tears diminish as laughter grows, and when our hearts open, joy can enter.
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| Back of postcard |
I welcome your comments.
Secret Sex Lives by Suzy Spencer: book review
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| Suzy Spencer photo by Randy Austin-Cardona |
Since first grade, when I first lusted over a gorgeous dark-haired boy named Travis, I prayed to Jesus for a boyfriend. I never got one. The closest I ever came was a couple of briefly consummated associations with married men. . . I don’t trust men enough to be emotionally intimate with them. And I don’t know why men terrify me so. They just do. God, they do.
Does that sound like the kind of person who interviews strangers about their sexual behavior for a book? Yet that’s what Suzy Spencer did. At age 50, she took a yearlong detour from writing true crime and placed an ad on Craigslist, asking for people who were willing to talk about their sex lives.
Her “sex freaks” — as she dubbed them — contacted her in droves. They were eager, often titillated, to talk about their sexual encounters, desires, and secrets — including cheating on their spouses, swinging, kink play, Dom/sub, phone sex, cross-dressing, and more. The result: Secret Sex Lives: A Year on the Fringes of American Sexuality.
Was Spencer kinky and wild herself? Quite the opposite. She hadn’t had sex in ten years and admitted feeling out of her element about the whole subject. Raised Southern Baptist and never having experienced satisfying sexual freedom personally, she was uneasy about her own reactions to some of the wild stories and confessions she was hearing. Sometimes she was fascinated past journalistic curiosity. Sometimes she pushed journalistic boundaries* as well as personal ones. Sometimes she was disgusted. And occasionally she described trying not to laugh.
Those last two reactions interfered with my appreciation of the book at times. I don’t think she realized how judgmental she was (or if she did realize it, it didn’t bother her). For example, she told a round-bellied, truck-driving Texan that he didn’t look bisexual (“I am just shocked — I mean, no one would look at you and think — ever.”). She had to fight back “something putrid” rising in her throat when one of her interviewees described having daddy/daughter phone sex. She described Lady Sapphire, giving a presentation on bondage, this way:
Lady Sapphire’s demeanor is pure rural. Her eyeglasses look like one-hour wire frames. Her…dress reveals white, scarred, toneless arms. Its neckline…covers her breasts, which are aligned with her protruding stomach…Slump-shouldered, Lady Sapphire looks like she’s about to go grocery shopping on a hot summer day.
* About the boundary pushing. At one point, a man who has been describing his phone sex encounters invites Spencer to listen in on his multi-orgasm-producing conversation with phone sex partner of the moment. However, the recipient of this call — and of the multiple orgasms — would not know that Spencer was listening in. Spencer agreed and went through with it, which struck me as highly unethical. The phone sex was consensual — but would it have been if the recipient had known that a journalist was listening and taking notes, and would later record this conversation in a book?
I appreciated seeing the changes in Spencer’s attitudes about sex as she delved into other people’s sex lives and how they felt about what they did. She was painfully aware of how tightly closed up her own desires were, and she realized she was living vicariously through her “sex freaks.”
Much as I didn’t like Spencer’s judgmental reactions to her subjects, I respect her as a writer for her courage in revealing the jarring flaws in her own sex-positivity. She easily could have cut comments like “I need a break from cross-dressing, enemas, slaves, sluts, and whips” or “I was so tired of hearing men rationalize their cheating by complaining that their wives had lost all sexual interest due to menopause or a hysterectomy” or “I wasn’t all that interested in watching a beer-bellied retiree with rosacea rub his penis until sperm oozed,” and we’d be none the wiser. But the struggles with her upbringing and prejudices are part of the journey for Spencer.
This aim of this book reminded me a little of America Unzipped: In Search of Sex and Satisfaction by Brian Alexander, which I enjoyed tremendously and reviewed in 2008. If you haven’t read that one and you like learning about how other people enjoy/ express/ revel in sex (and we’re not talking about missionary position with the lights out), check it out, too.