Posts by Joan Price
MiMi Soft: Cushy Tip Vibrator
Many of us like strong vibrations, but we don’t like a hard toy pressing against our increasingly delicate genitals. A vibrator that presses against the clitoris with a bit of cushioning is just right, and the new MiMi Soft Rechargeable Waterproof Vibrator by Je Joue from Good Vibrations does exactly that.
The vibrator is firm and smooth, ABS plastic covered with a layer of silicone except that the tip is soft and cushy. Thank you, Je Joue. You have to press the tip hard against you to feel the “give” of it, but that’s often a natural action anyway as arousal rises. The soft tip makes the MiMi Soft an improvement over the original MiMi. I liked that one, but this one wins hands down… or hands on.
The MiMi Soft is smooth and tiny enough (3 1/2″ long x 2 1/4″ wide x 1 1/4″ thick) to fit in the palm of your hand. If you’re using it with a partner, it fits easily between two bodies without getting in the way. It’s completely waterproof for use in the tub or shower, which is a delight.
MiMi Soft has five vibration settings and it’s supposed to have six patterns. I don’t care about patterns — I prefer steady and strong — so I didn’t even notice that center button that controls the patterns didn’t work on mine. I’ve read other reviews and never read about that issue, so I’ll have to assume that this was just a problem with mine. (If I cared about it, of course Good Vibrations would replace it.)
I complained about the strength it took to press the buttons of the original MiMi, and although this one isn’t as difficult, it still needs pressure. When your fingers are lubed up, it’s impossible to feel the difference between the “+” and the “-” buttons, so you might have to grab your reading glasses and memorize which side is which so you don’t accidentally turn it down when you’re trying to turn it up.
Charging is easy with the magnetic charger. Plug it in, charge it for two hours or less, and you’re good to go with no cords in your way.
Is it strong enough? You know me — I like really strong vibrations. This one is not as strong as my favorite vibrators, but it does pack a punch for its size and the vibrations feel really good, less buzzy than most. For those of us who travel, the size is right!
Thank you, Good Vibrations, for sending me the MiMi Soft Rechargeable Waterproof Vibrator in return for an honest review. Right now it comes with a free silky blindfold.
The Right Side of History by Adrian Brooks: book review
whom I may…and with that right neither you nor
any law you can frame have any right to interfere…I trust that I am fully understood, for I
mean just that.
The Right Side of History: 100 Years of LGBTQI Activism, edited by Adrian Brooks, should be in every bookstore and library and adopted as a textbook in every college-level, American history course.
Adrian Brooks has assembled a formidable body of work that chronicles the events and the people who have worked towards and spoken out for gay liberation and LGBT issues since before Stonewall. Yes, before Stonewall.
I was born in 1943. It hit me hard to realize these injustices were happening during my childhood:
- In 1948, homosexuality and adultery were criminal, masturbation purportedly caused mental illness, and premarital sex was deemed shameful. But Kinsey showed such “perverted activities” to be prevalent, thereby torpedoing a cozy concept of manhood rigorously reinforced. The nation reeled.
- In 1950, a Senate subcommittee issued a report, calling homosexuals a threat to national security…Even the appearance of homosexuality—butch women, effeminate men—became grounds for firing and arrest…it was still a crime to be a gay man or lesbian with myriad sodomy and lewdness laws on the books.
- In 1953, one of President Eisenhower’s first actions in office was to issue an executive order barring all gays, lesbians, and bisexuals from federal employment.
- Cops would walk in slowly like they owned the place, eyeballing everyone, pushing people with nightsticks. If they put you in a paddy wagon, you’d be hauled off to the Tombs (jail). If they put you in a car, they’d take you to some alley or empty parking lot, make you suck their dick, take all your clothes, throw them in the trunk of their car, and tell you to go home naked.
Look at the diversity of topics and the big names in the table of contents:
Part I: Before Stonewall
- The Divine Discontent of Isadora Duncan
by Adrian Brooks
- Henry Gerber’s Bridge to the World
by Hayden L. Mora
- The 1934 Longshoremen’s Strike
by Adrian Brooks
- The Cradle Will Rock
by Eric A. Gordon
- Bayard Rustin: Offensive Lineman for Freedom
by Patricia Nell Warren
- The Kinsey Reports
by Anahi Russo Garrido
- Criminals and Subversives: The Mattachine Society
and Daughters of Bilitis
by Victoria A. Brownworth
- The Beats: Allen Ginsberg and Jack Kerouac
by Neeli Cherkovski
- Frank Kameny: Advocate for Freedom
by John D’Emilio
- Josephine Baker’s Dream without Fire or War:
An Interview with Jean-Claude Baker
by Adrian Brooks
- April 4, 1968
by Adrian Brooks
- Ground Zero
by Miss Major Griffin-GracyPart II: After Stonewall
- The Revolutionary Joy of Gary Alinder
by Paul Gabriel
- Lesbian Nation: Jill Johnston and the
Revolution of Women
by Victoria A. Brownworth
- The Angels of Light: Paris Sites Under the Bourgeois
Sea
by Adrian Brooks
- Anita Bryant’s Anti-Gay Crusade
by Jeanne Córdova
- “The Mayor of Castro Street”
by Adrian Brooks
- Interview with Charlotte Bunch:
Human Rights and Gender Equality
by Anahi Russo Garrido
- The Enemy Is Me: Becoming a Man inside a Feminist
World
by Max Wolf Valerio
- My Battle with the University of California
by Merle Woo
- The Quilt
by Julie Rhoad
- The Red Camaro
by Matt Ebert
- Between the Sexes
by Tiger Howard Devore
- A Hero in Search of a Myth: The Navajo Journey of
Jack C. Jackson, Jr.
by Max Wolf Valerio
- Interview with Judy Shepard: Remembering Matthew
Shepard
by Adrian Brooks
- Interview: Barney Frank
by Brenda Knight and Adrian Brooks
- Black, Gay, and Muslim
by Sultan Shakir
- Bullying
by James Gilliam
- A Conversation with Evan Wolfson: Freedom to Marry
Leader
by Angela Dallara
- Diana Nyad
by Rita Mae Brown
- Our Lives, Our Words: Newspapers, Bookstores, and
Gay Liberation
by Victoria A. Brownworth
I recognized many of the writers and subjects — others were new to me, and I’m grateful to know them now. Most of the writers in of The Right Side of History: 100 Years of LGBTQI Activism are of our generation. We grew up not knowing this information. Let’s change that now. I hope you’ll read this book and purchase another for a friend. I did.
Adrian Brooks (born 1947, 68 at the time of the book release), who curated this book and wrote several of its essays, is a social and political activist, poet, performer and writer who has been working for change since the 1960s.
Getting Your Mojo Back: Excerpt from The Ultimate Guide to Sex after 50
I used to be eager for sex, easily aroused. My desire dipped after menopause and now barely exists. I can go weeks or more without desiring sex or thinking much about it. The funny thing is, if I get started, I like it, but it’s so hard to get in the mood.
The number one sex problem that I hear from women is the lack of desire for sex. They do still enjoy sex once they get started, they tell me, but they’re seldom in the mood ahead of time. It isn’t just a problem for women—many men also report decreased desire—but for women, it’s the primary complaint. The problem is that if we wait for the mood and don’t make sexual pleasure a priority, we’ll rarely have sex.
There are lots of reasons that you may be feeling decreased desire, but let’s cut to a solution that works first, and figure out the reasons afterward:
Instead of waiting for the mood, start getting yourself sexually aroused—on your own, with a partner, or with a vibrator. Just do it. The physiological arousal will trigger the emotional desire.
That’s the opposite of the way it used to work! When we were younger, our hormone-induced sex drive bombarded our brain and body with desire—especially during our most fertile times. This was simple biology. A glance, a thought, a murmur, a fantasy, or a touch sparked the mood. Once in the mood, we opened ourselves to the pleasures of physiological arousal. We got turned on, our arousal built, and we crashed joyously into orgasm.
But now, this all works the other way around. Instead of waiting forever for the mood to strike, we can induce the mood by letting ourselves get physiologically aroused as the first step. Arousal will lead to mood and desire, instead of vice versa.
Here are your new mantras:
- Desire follows action.
- Use it, don’t lose it.
- Just do it.
“You may have just saved my marriage,” a woman told me after I gave this suggestion at a presentation. Try it—you may feel the same!
I can’t emphasize enough how important it is to approach our sexuality in this new way: Relax, start getting physically aroused, emotional arousal will happen, and voila, we’ll be in the mood. So the key is to commit to regular sexual pleasure, partnered or solo.
How does this translate to real life? Here are some tips:
- Schedule sex dates with your partner and/or with yourself at least weekly, more is even better.
- Exercise before sex for faster arousal and easier orgasms.
- Create rituals with your partner that signal sex would be welcome.
- Allow plenty of arousal time — no rushing, no goals except pleasure.
- Make sexual arousal and orgasm a habit, whether you’re partnered or on your own.
Make sexual pleasure a habit. Give yourself sexual pleasure frequently, and you’ll find that you’ll become aroused more easily and enjoy sex more! Order here for an autographed copy, purchase from your local independent bookstore, or order from Amazon.
Best Sex Writing of the Year 2015 review
I love the Best Sex Writing series from Cleis Press. I’ve been a loyal reader since the first edition in 2005. I collect them, give them as gifts, read them cover to cover. This year’s edition (titled inexplicably “Best Sex Writing of the Year, volume 1” instead of “2015”), edited by Jon Pressick, has the breadth and quality I’ve come to expect.
Realize that this series isn’t erotica (although Cleis is known for erotica) — it’s a collection of non-fiction essays about all colors and stripes of sex-themed topics. Some of the essays are intensely personal (e.g. my own contribution, “Sharing Body Heat”), some are commentary on sexual issues in the news, some are sex-nerdy opinions, many open windows to sexual practices and worlds that might be new to you.
The best way to convey the range of topics and writers is to share the chapter titles with quotes from a few of them:
- Foreword • Belle Knox
- Captain Save-A-Ho • Fiona Helmsley
- How a Former Porn Star’s Sex Tape Helped Him Reclaim His Sex Life • Christopher Zeischegg aka Danny Wylde: “I’d done it a thousand times with people I’d barely met, and in the most stressful environments. Yet, I couldn’t get my cock hard while in bed with the girl I loved.”
- What Should We Call Sex Toys? • Epiphora: “I own over five hundred dildos, vibrators, and anal toys, which I routinely hold against my vulva (not my ‘lady bits’), stick in my vagina (not my ‘vajayjay’), press against my clitoris (not my ‘love button’) and push up my butt (not my ‘backdoor’).”
- We Need a New Orientation to Sex • Cory Silverberg
- I Am the Blogger Who Allegedly “Complicated” the Stuebenville Gang Rape Case—And I Wouldn’t Change a Thing • Alexandria Goddard
- Porn Director: I Changed My Mind about Condoms • Nica Noelle
- Pregger Libido • Ember Swift
- The White Kind of Body • Alok Vaid-Menon
- Sex, Lies and Public Education • Lynn Comella
- Sharing Body Heat • Joan Price
- Being a Real-Life Accomplice • Cameryn Moore
- Oops, I Slept with Your Boyfriend • Charlie Nox
- Pump Dreams • Mitch Kellaway: “I don’t have a clitoris. Or, rather, I used to have one. But since starting my gender transition a year ago, my relationship to it has become quite complex.”
- Prostitution Law and the Death of Whores • Laura Agustín
- Fisting Day • Jiz Lee: “What I love about fisting someone vaginally is feeling them take me in. There’s a moment where the person just opens up to you. Once inside, they’re so warm, wet, and every little movement you make can be felt.”
- Tell Me You Want Me. • Mollena Williams: “What about submitting, what about service, what about taking a thorough flogging, what about menial chores, what about being useful, is sexy? Why is it eroticized? What makes it hot? In a word? Passion.”
- The Gates • Tina Horn
- The Choice of Motherhood and Insidious Drugstore Signage • Stoya
- Kinky, Sober and Free: BDSM in Recovery • Rachel Kramer Bussel: “Can you be clean and sober and still engage kinkily?”
- Crazy Trans Woman Syndrome • Morgan M. Page
- Let’s Talk about Interracial Porn • Jarrett Neal
- When I Was a Birthday Present for an Eighty-Two-Year-Old Grandmother • David Henry Sterry [see below]
- What an Armpit Model Taught Me about Sexual Language • Jon Pressick
- Growing Through the Yuck • Ashley Manta
- I Was a Teenage Porn Model • Lux Alptraum
- Disability and Sex • Jason Armstrong
- Fumbling Towards Humanity: How “Trans Grrrls” Helped Me Open Up to My Partner • Amy Dentata
- In Defense of Celibacy • Lauren Marie Fleming aka Queerie Bradshaw: “There are times in your life when a quick fuck can be beneficial, but sometimes all sex does is add to the confusion that is life. Sex with others muddies the emotional waters; take sex away and there’s a better chance of finding clarity within yourself.”
- No Restrictions • Dee Dee Behind: “My very first session with a client with severe disabilities was while I was working as a professional dominatrix on the third floor of a dungeon in an elevator-less building.”
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| Jon Pressick |
Who could resist a book with this range of topics from such a variety of writers, sex educators, performers, sex workers, and other juicy, sex-positive activists? As Pressick puts it,
Some of the topics you will read about here are very specific while others speak to all of us. Bringing them together is an attempt to throw open those doors. Pull the thoughts out from under the mattresses. Talk about sex in meaningful, thoughtful and creative ways.
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| David Sterry |
One of my favorite essays — you might guess this! — was “When I Was a Birthday Present for an Eighty-Two-Year-Old Grandmother.” Author David Sterry was 17 when he was hired as a sexy birthday gift for a woman who was 65 years his senior. Although he told his employer yes, his brain was imagining “an ancient naked wrinkled saggy droopy granny spread-eagled in front of me and my poor placid flaccid penis …a lifeless piece of useless meat… What if she wants to do some weird old person sex thing I don’t know about?” The experience, of course, was nothing like his nightmare-fantasy, but I don’t want to reveal more and ruin the surprise.
I consider myself a sex geek. I’m interested in all things sexual. Whether or not I’m personally interested in exploring a particular behavior, belief, or milieu, my mind wants to take it all in. This book really satisfied my sex geekery. Thank you, Jon, contributors, and Cleis Press.
Order Best Sex Writing from your local independent bookstore or at this Amazon link.