Usually when I write a gift guide for you, I compile the best of the sex toys, books, and other items that I’ve reviewed all year. This year, I’m spotlighting some fabulous products that I haven’t reviewed yet, along with some favorites of the year.I’ve tried a few different clitoral arousal gels, and they all provide a bit of a tingle. The new wOw Max O from Wet is a whole different species.
I’ve been using it for several months, and haven’t reviewed it yet only because I can’t figure out how to describe the sensation. It’s more than a tingle — almost a sting, but in a lusciously arousing, sexy way. It contains two vasodilators which bring blood to the surface of the skin — important for arousal and orgasm —
and peppermint creates the more-than-tingly sensation. It feels really, really good. (If you can figure out how to describe the sensation, please let me know.) If you like the idea of extra clitoral arousal, but you want a gentle assist rather than the power of the Max, Wet also makes a milder version, called wOw Gentle O. Although the tube looks small, Wet says women typically get 75 applications from one tube.
Wet also makes 14 different kinds of lubricant, depending on your preference, whether you’re using it with latex condoms or silicone toys, whether you want thicker and slicker or more natural feeling. My favorite is the “Ecstasy Xtra Cooling Lubricant.”
When Good Vibrations heard that I was doing a Gift Guide, they rushed to send me some new products. Many insertable sex toys are too girthy for some of my readers who prefer or require slimmer toys for comfort. These two will please, and they’re lot less expensive than most of the vibrators that pass my review test! Both are hard plastic, use batteries, and have a dial at the end for intensity. (They’re labeled waterproof, but I didn’t test them this way.)
Silky G Waterproof G-spot Vibrator. This is a terrific vibrator for a woman who likes G-spot stimulation without girth. It’s just 1.25″ in diameter at its widest. We’re all shaped a bit differently, but for me, the curved tip hit my G-spot perfectly. Yum.
Easy Glider Waterproof Vibrator. If your giftee wants a slim, insertable vibrator but doesn’t care about the G-spot curve, this bright, translucent vibrator has bloops for varied sensations. At its widest, it’s only 1-1/8″, and the tip is much smaller for easy, gradual insertion.
If intense, diffused stimulation of the clitoris and much of the vulva is more important to you than size or silence, the Acuvibe has become one of my all-time favorite external vibrators. It’s strong, really strong, and because it’s rechargeable, there are no cords to get in the way while you use it. Yes, it’s heavy. So worth it!
Let’s say your giftee likes vaginal or anal sex toys and maybe even doesn’t need them to vibrate. Tantus produces an astonishing array of dildos, vibrators, butt plugs, and some items that defy categorization. Some are phallic shaped, like the Vamp pictured here — it’s sparkly, which doesn’t show in the photo, and the color and name whimsically call to mind a vampire’s phallus (not that I’ve ever seen a vampire’s phallus).
Others are shaped for anatomical pleasure rather than realistic appearance. Tantus has always taken a stand for body-safe, medical-grade, platinum-based silicone products, even when most sex toys used to be cheap and toxic. (FYI, the Vamp is too girthy for me — 1.75″ — but I like to look at it. Tantus does make smaller toys, but I thought you might like to look at the Vamp, too.)
When I was planning this gift guide, I was going to introduce the Crave Duet here. But once I tried it, I enjoyed it so much that I decided it needed its own review, which I appears here. If the woman in your life wants strong, direct clitoral vibrations in a tiny, practically silent vibrator, the Duet makes an elegant gift.
I’ve given you a lots of gift ideas for women, but how about the fellow in your life? If he’s told you stories of hiding his copies of Playboy under his mattress when he was a boy, he’ll appreciate this coffee-table size (
9.4″ x 12″) book: Playboy’s Greatest Covers, by sex, tech, and pop culture writer Damon Brown.
A man can’t have too many eggs — Tenga Egg Masturbation Sleeves, that is. “It provides marvelous sensations, comes in a wide variety of interior ribbing designs and as a bonus, is usable even by men suffering from erectile dysfunction, raves my male reviewer, sex therapist David Pittle. Read his review here.
Blossom Organics makes smooth, body-safe, natural feeling lubricants so you can enjoy your sexual sensations with a partner, a toy, or your own fingers, even if your vagina doesn’t lubricate easily any more. As the name implies, these are made from natural and organic plant-based materials that are gentle even for sensitive vaginas. Choose from natural moisturizing lubricant, warm sensation moisturizing lubricant, or warm sensation oil. (The oil is not latex-friendly; the others are.) Be sure and try the Pure Pleasure Arousal Gel for extra tingle!
I’ve been praising the Liberator Wedge for years. It’s a sex cushion, just the right shape, size, and support for getting into your favorite sex position without stress to your (or your partner’s) knees, hips, or back. No need to put it away between sex dates — it’s also a nice reading pillow! I like the 24″, but for large-sized bodies or a greater variety of sex positions, you might want another size or shape or a combo.
- Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex : Award-winning guide to better sex after 50, including 145 reader stories and 45 experts answering their questions.
- Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk About Sex After Sixty : Celebrating the joys of older-age sexuality through Joan’s candid, spicy love story.
What do you think of this year’s selection? I invite you to add your comments. (Please, no retailers that I don’t endorse trying to pull my readers to your sites.)
Please also enjoy my past gift guides:
- Holiday Gift Guide 2011
- Holiday Gift Guide 2010
- Valentine’s Day Gift 2010 Guide, pt. 1
- Valentine’s Day Gift Guide 2010, pt. 2
Q: I have recently started to have a physical relationship with a more mature woman. She happens to be 12 years my senior. I normally use lubricant because she is normally dry, regardless of how much foreplay we engage in. She has approached me about engaging in a small orgy. We were wondering if there would be any issues with a few men?
It’s completely normal for women to need lubricant for sex as they age. A woman can be extremely aroused and still not lubricate the way she used to. You’re right to use lubricant, as you’ve discovered already. Prolonged intercourse – whether with one man or “a few” – will require frequent application of lubricant.
Besides the dryness, though, she may find the group sex she’s considering physically uncomfortable sooner than she expects because of the thinning of her vaginal walls. If you plan to go ahead with this scene, be sure everyone understands that not every sex act has to culminate in intercourse, and make sure the other men involved agree not to push that part of it.
For everyone’s health and safety, be sure that condoms and dental dams (or the female condom, which works for both uses) are within easy reach and used with every interaction. Don’t forego this because the other men insist that they are “safe.” Your sexual health and your partner’s are your own responsibility. (Please read the FAQ, “Six Basic Facts Seniors Need to Know about STIs”)
I can’t tell from your question whether your partner has had sex with multiple partners before and wants to do it again, or whether this is a fantasy of hers that you’d like to help her indulge. Don’t go into it lightly. Talk a lot first. Try roleplaying, just the two of you, pretending you have a third (or fourth) by “talking dirty” about what you’re fantasizing is going on. That may help you each understand what you’re imagining and wanting from expanding your relationship.
I could write pages about the issues to think about and talk about, how to negotiate what’s okay and what’s off limits, how to choose and invite new partners, how to test your fantasy in stages, how to make sure your partner (or any of you) can stop or leave if it doesn’t turn out to be right after all, how to care for each other afterwards.
As you see, I’m not moralizing – if you both really want this and it fits with your own beliefs, go into it thoughtfully and with plenty of dialogue and preparation.
If I’ve left you worried, frightened, or dismayed, then maybe this would be too big a step for your relationship to handle.
This question and my response were first published on the Safer Sex for Seniors website where this question was originally submitted — direct link to this Q &A here. Here’s what I wrote about this site when it first went live.
I’d love to know what my readers think about this topic and my response. Please comment!
This blog has welcomed thousands of new readers since I first posted these tips in April 2006, so I’m posting them again for your pleasure. If you’d like a pretty, print-worthy, colorful page of these tips in .pdf format, email me and I’ll send them to you.
1. Slo-o-o-w-w down. Yes, it takes longer to warm us up. Fortunately, one of the best things about mid-life and later-life sex is the absence of urgency for our partners, also. They enjoy slow sex as much as we do! Make sex play last hours… or days.
2. Kiss and kiss. Kiss sweetly, passionately, quickly, slowly, contentedly, hungrily, lightly, sloppily. All kinds of kisses help you bond with your partner, warm up, and enjoy the moment.
3. Appreciate, decorate, and celebrate your own and your partner’s bodies. Jewelry, lingerie, feathers, fringe, silk, velvet, massage oil, candlelight–whatever looks good, feels good,
4. Do sexy things together long before you hit the sheets. Dance together. Visit lingerie or sex toy shops. Leave sexy notes in each other’s pockets. Give each other little gifts.
5. Do sexy things on your own to get yourself in the mood. Wear sexy lingerie under your everyday clothes. Work out. Swim. Dance. Fantasize. Write in your journal all the sexy things you want to do together. Spend some time humming with your vibrator.
6. Make love during high energy times. Midnight sex after a romantic meal may work for young folks, but we’re more likely to feel full, bloated, and ready to sleep. Instead, make sex dates in the morning or afternoon. (Why do you think they call it “afternoon delight”?)
7. Explore sex toys and other erotic helpers. Our hormonally challenged bodies may need extra help to reach orgasm these days. Lucky for us that sex toys are easy to find, fun to try, and wow, do they work!
8. Use a silky lubricant. We don’t have the natural moisture we used to, but there are many different lubricants that feel great and bring back the joy of friction. When your partner applies it, it becomes an erotic part of sex play.
9. Enjoy quality snuggle time before, during, and afterwards. Holding each other, feeling the warmth and texture of each other’s skin, is one of the sweetest and sexiest parts of making love.
10. Laugh a lot. Play silly games, invent special words, tease each other, rediscover your childhood together. Laughter is bonding, joyful, ageless–and sexy.
Want more ideas? Read my 7 Tips to Spice Up Your Sex Life post.
(These tips are copyright 2006 by Joan Price and may not be reprinted without permission from Joan Price. Thank you!)