Notes from the Penile Colony: Guy Talk about Vibrators by Shamus MacDuff

Note from Joan: Shamus MacDuff is the pseudonym of a 75-year-old retired university professor and author. Other than his name, he promises that everything he says about himself is true. His first guest post, “Great Sex Without Penetration: A Man’s View,” attracted so many readers and such positive response that when he offers additional posts, I quickly agree.

In the locker room at my gym, I overheard a 40-something guy complain to his buddy that his girlfriend insisted on using “a damned vibrator” that, in his view, kept “getting in the way of real sex.” I was tempted to interrupt and share a different story. I assert that more guys need to learn about the joys of sex toys, especially vibrators.

While a few vibrators are targeted specifically to provide stimulus and response to penises, a great many more kinds of sex toys exist. Most of these are designed especially (but not exclusively!) for clitorises and vaginas. It’s time to examine what these toys have to offer to penis owners, and to help guys like the fellow at my gym break out of the “penile colony” and begin to enjoy the myriad pleasures of a variety of sex toys.

For starters, most women cannot orgasm through penetrative vaginal sex alone, requiring arousal and stimulation of the clitoris. Vibrators are designed to provide exactly that stimulation, and it’s little wonder that women find them so desirable. If your partner loves her vibrator, that does not mean she doesn’t also love your touch. Rather, it indicates that she’s found the perfect combination of a partner and a vibrator to bring her to orgasm. Guys are not in competition with vibrators—they are our accomplices in giving joy and pleasure to our partners, a fact that the fellow in my gym had yet to understand. But there’s much more to this than meets the eye (or the clitoris), so let’s explore further.


It happens that vibrators work wonderfully on our male parts, too. During partner sex (of whatever form it takes), encourage your partner to apply her vibrator to your frenulum, your perineum, your nipples, or any other “turn on” spots that give you a happy buzz. A happy buzz is just what vibrators provide, often in a variety of patterns and speeds. You are sure to find several that will bring you to ecstasy more quickly than you thought possible. Once you do, you’ll then be vying with your partner for who gets “first dibs” on using the vibrator of choice. The fun and games during your partnered sex will be greatly enhanced for you both!

Give ‘em a try—you won’t be disappointed!


My partner introduced me to several delightful vibrators, and now these toys have also become a great addition to my solo sex practice. While the ones designed specifically for penises are very effective, I have found that many others, produced originally with vulvas in mind, are hugely satisfying during masturbation. Playing with vibrators almost certainly will convince you that they are our friends—true orgasm enhancement tools for guys as well as gals.

That conversation I overheard at my gym saddens me, because the speaker was clearly a prisoner of “the penile colony”—a believer that the only real sex is penis-in-vagina (PIV), with an unfortunate primary focus on his own pleasure rather than on increasing hers. Vibrators offer fun and innovative ways to break out of that unhappy mental prison, allowing us guys to recognize and experience the full panoply of delights that sex toys can provide to penises as well as clitorises.


[Read other posts by Shamus MacDuff here.]


  1. Dave84 on September 23, 2023 at 3:10 am

    We started enjoying the pleasure of incorporating ‘ massagers ‘ into our love life back in the late 60’s. Now, 62 year later, we enjoy the modern technology( no cords or batts to worry about ) and have an array of sex toys we pleasure each other with on a regular basis. Funnily, it was my young wife who felt threatened by the use of a vibrator. That very quickly gave way to the enjoyment, both solo or together, and release from the pressures sometimes encountered while ‘ making ‘ love. Thank goodness the stigma of sex toy use has almost disappeared.
    Dave 84 &9/10ths

  2. Thomas Bukos on September 22, 2023 at 9:17 pm

    I dont have any proplem bringing my woman to orgasm by outercourse. But many times i am not strong enough to penetrate her that i love. So i should try some vibrator. I use them for solo sex however.

  3. Bill on September 22, 2023 at 3:49 pm

    We’ve had a magic wand for years. That thing is an orgasm machine. We call it Jamie (from Outlander). Lol

    • Joan Price on September 22, 2023 at 3:54 pm

      Bill, I wonder how many of us have named our favorite sex toys! I certainly have!

  4. alt7 on August 25, 2020 at 3:35 pm

    Having vibe rubbed along your cock or a wand against your balls is just amazing….i loving having my partner with a womanizer on her clit as I penetrate her… Guys need to lighten up, relax and enjoy it all

  5. Joan Price on June 14, 2019 at 1:41 pm

    I welcome your responses! More people worry about vibrator use than you might think.

  6. Bruce on January 6, 2019 at 10:26 pm

    Surprised my wife with one this past Christmas and she loved it and was happy I was so thoughtful. Love the pleasures we both can supply to make her happy. Plus all the variation is fun.

  7. Andre Leonard on January 6, 2019 at 7:12 pm

    Face it, for many men 'our' age need a little help in getting our partners to orgasm. The 'right' toys/aids will benefit in making her happy. So don't be shy to either join in with her in making an appropriate selection or surprising her with your thoughtfulness.

  8. Gunna on January 6, 2019 at 7:21 am

    Many guys are so macho about sex they think they can bring a woman off through PIV alone and see the vibrator as a threat to their man hood. Sex toys for guys are amazing and if they ever get over the fact the best fun lies inside their anus, then sex will never be the same. It will be all shades of awesome.

    • Chad on September 23, 2023 at 12:59 am

      I’ve never understood the idea that toys could be viewed as competition, or that using them meant someone was inadequate in some way. They’re made to serve a purpose, and with a few exceptions, they can be used to great effect by anyone. I think of them as condiments for our sex lives. Using different toys in different combinations keeps things fun, allows us to experience sensations that our our own parts can’t replicate, are perfectly safe (provided they’re made of body safe materials). I just can see absolutely no downside to exploring all they have to offer.

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