Posts by Joan Price

Steinberg, now 71, has been writing about sex since 1985 and photographing couples being sexual at home since 1999. In This Thing We Call Sex, he describes many types of sexual awakenings and insights: his first swing party; his first sexual encounter with a trans woman, where he discovered how much he’s turned on by a woman possessing both feminine energy and a penis; the gift of a gang bang for his partner’s 52nd birthday; learning to slap a woman he loved because it excited her; and much more. Through Steinberg’s candor and beautifully crafted writing, I felt I was getting more than a window into his views and activities — I was experiencing them myself.

Steinberg grew up in the same era I did. We came of age when sexual repression was the norm, and we were foot soldiers in the sexual revolution (though I was far less adventurous, even in what I considered my wilder days). In 1963, when both he and I were in college, “rumblings of sexual change could be heard on the cultural landscape if you listened really hard, but they were distinctly muted to say the least.”

David Steinberg

Steinberg puts his experiences and reflections in the context of discovering our sexuality despite our society’s sex-negative view. Sexual acceptance has improved greatly since we were growing up, but sex negativity still persists. We’re shamed for wanting what we want, called perverts and worse if what we like is outside the very small box of what society condones. Here, I’ll let him say it his own way:

• “Who are we. really, when it comes to sex? Do we ever really get to know the full range and depth of our sexual desires and possibilities for pleasure? If we could strip away the rules, the moralizing, the early antisexual childhood training, the internalized raised eyebrows, what might we find of ourselves underneath?”
• “Sex is such a powerful and unpredictable arena for psychic discovery; it’s no wonder it scares us to death. When we let the proprieties drift out the window, when we face our individual menageries of urges and desires without the referees of reason and reasonability, we are apt to uncover the most surprising and disconcerting things about ourselves — things we don’t even begin to understand, things we may well not want to acknowledge.”
• “We are told repeatedly, and we come to believe … that if we acknowledge, honor, and embrace the erotic impulses of our sensual selves we will destroy the order in our world and be cast into chaos. This terrifies us. We turn against desire itself, against our erotic impulses and feelings, as well as the erotic expressions of others. we set ourselves the task of keeping the erotic down at all cost.”

Copyright (c) David Steinberg, 2000

And the photos! Deliciously erotic and intensely personal photos of faces smiling, grimacing, laughing in ecstasy; intimate gazes; entwined bodies. The diversity of the people in the photos is startling because it’s so rare. As David told me in an email interview,

One of the core statements that I hope my
photographs of people being sexual makes is that we all can be vibrant, alive,
sexy, sexual people, despite the cultural biases that would restrict that
appreciation to people who are young, thin, physically fit, etc. I make a point
of including as wide a range of subjects as possible, including people of all
ages, body types, ethnic backgrounds, sexual orientations, gender identities,
and sexual proclivities. I have photographed people ranging in age from 19 to
75, from 90 to 300 pounds, and over a dozen couples that include someone with a
physical disability.

Hopefully, when people see my photographs they think,
“Oh, look, this is someone like me being wonderfully sexual,” rather
than seeing someone whose sexuality confirms all the insecurities and self-doubts
that we are encouraged to have about ourselves almost from birth.

Copyright (c) David Steinberg, 2007

I’m a sex geek — I’m fascinated by all things sexual, and I love learning about how people think and express themselves sexually. In this book, Steinberg educates and fascinates me. I wholeheartedly recommend This Thing We Call Sex to my fellow sex geeks.

I receive review copies of many books that the authors and publishers hope I find of interest to you. Even restricting my choices to those that treat older-age sexuality specifically and positively, I’m unable to keep up. So instead of reviewing these books singly, I’m going to do a series of roundups of books aimed at our age group by authors who understand us. This is the first in this series of mini interviews with the authors. Enjoy, and please support these authors who are writing with candor and fire about sex and aging.

The Last Place She’d Look by Arlene Schindler

Arlene, describe your book and what led you to write it:

Midlife was freeing for me. My novel explores relationship possibilities for single women past 50. I used to say, “My dating pool is so small, soon it will be a shot glass.” If I was lucky, a love connection would last about as long as a good haircut. I knew others felt the same. I wanted to shout out the absurdities of these experiences with a madcap, defiantly spirited outlook. 

Why would my readers want to read The Last Place She’d Look?

Arlene Schindler

Women of a certain age become invisible in our culture. In reality this is the time of life when we become bolder, braver and more adventurous. We’re peaking, and no one is looking. Exploring why we should be noticed, my novel exposes our desires, passions and relationships. 

What drew you to write a story about a woman finding herself attracted to other women on her fiftieth birthday?

Too many women think that if they are not with a man, their life is incomplete. Yet friendships we have with other women grow deeper with maturity. A possible alternative for a world of lonely women who’ve been influenced by outmoded values and religious beliefs, but hungry for appreciation, is being responsive and open to deeper, intimate experiences with women whom we know, love, and admire.

My Sexual Awakening at 70 by Lynn Brown Rosenberg 

Lynn, describe your book and what led you to write it:

My Sexual Awakening at 70 is about my search for sexual freedom at a later age, and at the same time an exploration of my past and the effect that decades of repression had on me. Despite that upbringing, midway through my journey, I was having the best, most exciting time! I realized I couldn’t be the only woman who had a distressing sexual education or no sexual education, and I thought it could help others.

Why would my readers want to read your book?

Lynn Brown Rosenberg

It is a roller-coaster life about my search for love, self-confidence, creative expression and sexual expression that will resonate with other women of our age. Men also enjoy my book because it gives them hope for the future, and helps them understand women better. Plus, it has erotic stories in it that both men and women can get pleasure from, individually or together!

How has your life changed after writing this book?

It has opened up a whole new world for me. I am now speaking about my journey, writing articles, doing podcasts, writing a monthly column for XBiz.com, and most of all, I love that I’m connecting with people who tell me they’ve been inspired and empowered by hearing me speak or reading My Sexual Awakening at 70. 

Mr. and Mrs. AverageJoe (series) by J.F. Silver

 J.F., describe the Mr. and Mrs. Average Joe series:

Mr. and Mrs. Average Joe is an erotic series about discovering new pleasures later in life. Joe and Elaine are baby boomers and empty nesters with a healthy sexual appetite. They had fantasized about inviting others into their bed, and one night the scenario presents itself in a ménage with another woman. From here it becomes a polyamorous tale of two sexually adventurous couples. There are three books available and a fourth releases in November 2015.

What led you to begin writing erotica?

I didn’t start writing until I turned 50, nine years ago, when I wrote my first erotic story as a birthday gift for my wife of 30 years. After receiving that first story, my wife began feeding me plot lines and to this day remains my inspiration and muse. Writing hot, arousing tales for my wife turned into a crazy and secret hobby!

How did this “secret hobby” develop into a published series?

J.F. Silver

About three years ago, we decided to try publishing them. It was a challenge to find a publisher interested in an erotic story about a couple in their fifties, but we did it. Before we’ll write it, it has to work for us. Being a male author in a field dominated by women, my wife helps me keep the stories “women friendly.”