In May 2017, I presented a lively 90-minute webinar, Sex Toys for Seniors, which includes a show-and-tell of about 20 favorite vibrators and other sex toys. I introduced you to the Magic Wand, the Eroscillator, and many well-known and lesser-known (but fabulous!) orgasm-inducers.
Viewing rights to the recording are still available (email me!), and I hope you’ll watch it. Since then, I’ve had the delight of reviewing a few more stellar sex toys that would have been included in this webinar if I had enjoyed them sooner.
For your pleasure, here is a round-up of sex toy favorites that have crossed my path (and other places) recently. Shamus MacDuff, my penis-owning reviewer, has also added his favorites. Click on each product name to read our original reviews. These include links to retailers that I personally endorse because they care about our sexual pleasure, education, and health, and they celebrate my message that sexual pleasure is ours lifelong.
Best for Versatility
Volta from Fun Factory is delightfully versatile, powerful, and ergonomic. The curved shape and vibrating tips (I think of them as “flippers”) can give pleasure to all varieties of genitals in many ways:
- Nuzzle a clitoris by surrounding the glans (protruding tip of the clitoris) with the flippers.
- Rest the curve of the Volta over the vulva for all-over stimulation.
- Separate the flippers to vibrate the clitoris and the vaginal entrance simultaneously.
- Cuddle or circle around the head of a penis.
- Stroke the shaft of a penis with the flippers during fellatio.
From Shamus MacDuff:
My favorite toy for partner sex enhancement is Volta (a.k.a. “Flipper,” or “The Cuttlefish with Attitude”). Not only does my woman friend find it pleasurable when applied to her clitoris, but I also enjoy its “kisses” when she buzzes it against my frenulum, penile shaft, and scrotum while thrilling me with her skillful fellatio.
Best for Penises
JETT from Hot Octopuss gets the vote from 75-year-old Shamus MacDuff. He loves the way he can adjust the “dual engines” (independently controlled treble and bass vibrations). As he puts it, “JETT has an expandable, circular silicone sleeve positioned directly above the dual jet engines into which you place your penis — flaccid or erect. The sleeve surrounds the frenulum on one side and the ridge atop the penile head on the other. When JETT revs up, the sensations are multiple and magnificent. The real fun with this toy comes (pun intended) in locating precisely the right treble and bass frequencies, paired with one of the 10 vibration patterns, that launches you into the JETT stream.”
From Shamus MacDuff:
I especially love JETT for solo sex because it’s easy to load my penis into it, flaccid or erect; the accessible controls make it simple to turn on and off and to change settings; and the wide variety of settings, coupled with adjustable, bass and treble intensities, allow me to dial up a perfect combination of sensations to match my particular mood or arousal level.
Best for Traveling with a Vulva
We-Vibe Touch. The We-Vibe Touch has become my favorite travel vibrator. It’s tiny, weighs almost nothing, yet it’s powerful and versatile, and the design is so smart. It’s curved to cover much of the vulva for all-over stimulation, or press the cupped area over the clitoris, or point the tip wherever you want it, or combine any or all of these.
The Touch is fabulous to use on the clitoris during partner sex as well as solo, because it doesn’t get in the way of two joined bodies. If you enjoy penetrative sex and need extra clitoral stimulation for your journey towards orgasm, this makes it easy and sweet. Add it for extra clitoral stimulation whatever kind of sex you might be enjoying — penetrative or not.
Although designed for vulva /clitoral stimulation, it’s also enjoyed by penises and nipples of any gender. See why I love to pack it in my carry-on suitcase?
Best for Traveling with a Penis
Pocket Pulse. We love all the Pulse models from Hot Octopuss because an erection is not required for use or receiving full pleasure. Just place your penis of choice — hard, flaccid, or in between — in the Pulse, turn it on, and feel the results. The Pocket Pulse is a smaller, modified version, and Shamus MacDuff likes it even better than the bigger, more expensive models. The Pocket Pulse is an ideal travel companion for your penis.
Don’t forget about lube!
All these orgasm-inducing products are made of silicone, which require water-based lubricant. I’ve been enjoying the water-based lubes from Wicked Sensual Care. We all have different needs and preferences, but my personal favorite Wicked water-based lube is Aqua Chill which resists body heat for a lovely sensation. If you’ve been frustrated during extended solo sessions with your vibrator because your lube dries out before you’re done, Wicked’s Toy Love is a thick and long-lasting gel, and it doesn’t dribble off your toys.
As a special gift for reading this far, email me and ask how to view my Sex Toys for Seniors webinar
for just $45 instead of $55.
“The first time a man experiences problems with his erection after years of normal function it can be like a punch in the gut. For most men, their sexual performance is a matter of pride. Men equate their erections with masculinity—their manhood.”
– Michael Bates, MD
I write frequently about erectile difficulties, because this is an issue that my readers and audiences ask me about all the time. You can find plenty about staying sexual despite erectile dysfunction in my books, articles, and webinars. But I realize that a woman writing about erections may not strike you as having the same credibility as the same information coming from a man, especially a man with a medical degree.
Michael Bates, MD, is a retired OB/GYN physician who, with his wife Carolina, directs the website X’s and O’s, a resource center and retailer for folks over 50. In “How To Help Your Partner With Erectile Dysfunction (ED),” Dr. Bates suggests these steps for supporting a partner with ED and figuring out what options will help you remain a sexually vibrant couple:
- Communicate. Start an honest conversation about the change in your sexual pattern as a couple.
- Go to his doctor together to determine the cause of his ED. Run the tests to discover or rule out medical conditions that can cause erection problems. Discuss his medications that may have sexual side effects.
- Learn about medical options: medications, suppositories, injections, pumps, implants.
- Try non-medical solutions, such as vibrators and penis rings.
- Explore non-penetrative ways to arouse and satisfy each other, aka “outercourse.” *
Read Dr. Bates’s article here.
Visit X’s and O’s.
* My most popular workshop and webinar is “Great Sex without Penetration,” which helps you enjoy hot sex without PIV (penis-in-vagina). As a special gift for reading this far, email me and ask how to view this 90-minute webinar for just $35 instead of $55.
At age 75, I posed in lingerie with the extraordinary photographer Perry Gallagher. It was my fourth time in fancy underwear in front of a camera. The previous three were at age 65 and 68 with photographer Ruth Lefkowitz, and at age 72 with Perry. I had no idea the first time that this would become a regular event every few years.
It’s fascinating to me to watch my aging process over a decade of being “old” and to affirm that sexiness can be both internal and external. We’re so judgmental about ourselves, especially our bodies!
Oh sure, when I saw the 240 proofs, there were many that made me wince — did my thighs really look so puckered? But there were also many that made me smile and even laugh with joy. It was difficult to narrow down my choices because so many left me awestruck.
Once I made my choices, Perry went to work. When he showed me the first edit, I said no. He had aged me backwards about 15 years by smoothing out the wrinkles, eliminating the skin spots, tightening the midriff. The photo was beautiful and glamorous — and know that he can do that for you, too! — but I wanted authenticity. I told him to edit much more lightly, because I wanted to celebrate aging, not erase it. The photos you see here are the result. I’m thrilled with them.
And the whole process was fun! Perry loves his work and it’s clear that he really does see his subjects as beautiful. We joked and played seductive verbal games. I felt completely at ease with him and with myself.
Here’s what I learned from this photo shoot and from the previous three:
- We are our own worst critics when we assess our own bodies.
- The eyes of a skilled photographer reveal us to ourselves in ways we can’t see on our own.
- Whatever our age or the state of our body, we have beauty.
- Being photographed by a skilled photographer who sees our beauty is empowering.
- We don’t age out of sensuality or sexuality.
Perry Gallagher is a visionary, and I’m proud and honored to be part of his vision. If you’re in or near LA, I hope you’ll contact Perry and book your own photo shoot. Whether you want your photos to be boudoir ( lingerie), fine art nude, portrait, or wedding, I guarantee that Perry will put you at ease and produce beautiful photos. When you meet him, ask him to tell you the story of how he got his first camera.
By the way, I have a standing date with Perry for my 80th birthday!
All photos here by Perry Gallagher Photography except for this one by Mac Marshall:
- Sex after Grief: Navigating Your Sexuality After Loss of Your Beloved, Joan’s newest book, coming August 2019.
- The Ultimate Guide to Sex After 50: How to Maintain – or Regain!– a Spicy, Satisfying Sex Life, her most comprehensive senior sex book.
- Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex, winner of Outstanding Self-Help Book 2012 from the American Society of Journalists and Authors and 2012 Book Award from American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists.
- Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk About Sex After Sixty, Joan’s spicy memoir celebrating the joys of older-age sexuality.
- Ageless Erotica, a steamy senior sex anthology which Joan conceived and edited.
explores each topic with the same distinct blend of knowledge, experience, and good humor, which led Dee Dennis, the founder of sexuality conference CatalystCon, to praise her as “an amazing sex educator and speaker, who represents a new direction and is breaking new ground” in the sexual self-help genre. The series’ volume on Fellatio earned AVN’s 2012 Best Educational Release trophy, “Anal” was named XBIZ’s 2012 Specialty Release of the Year, “Anal Sex for Men” received AVN’s 2014 Best Educational Release award, and “Plus Size” earned XBIZ’s 2015 Specialty Release of the Year. For more information, visit GuideToWickedSex.com, Facebook.com/GuideToWickedSex, Twitter.com/Guide2WickedSex.
Price, please contact: