Senior Sex Blog

I know that my followers were surprised when I abruptly announced to my subscribers, “No April newsletter” with no explanation. My partner Mac Marshall and I were in a serious (and unavoidable) car crash on April 24, 2025. Mac’s injuries were thankfully minor, but I suffered three neck fractures and deeply bruised ribs and chest.

I was very frightened that the injuries — at age 81, with osteoporosis and a previous neck fracture — were too serious to overcome. But the good news I received yesterday: I’ll be able to make a full recovery!

I was sent home from the ER on 4.25 in a big, uncomfortable neck brace that allowed no neck motion and held me so tightly that I couldn’t even open my mouth enough to chew.  I nicknamed it “the cage.” Fortunately Mac is a pro with a blender, so he’s been making me nutritious smoothies and soup purees.

On 5.2, after a week in the cage, I was able to get re-evaluated and, whew, given a smaller size neck collar which is much more comfortable (if “comfortable” is a word that can be used alongside “three neck fractures”). I’ll wear it for another month. Tonight, 5.3, I’ll try to eat solid food! Small steps!

I’m staying at Mac’s for now, and yes, I’m able to sleep — very well in fact — thanks to a reclining La-Z-Boy couch.

I plan to use this blog post as my primary communication personally and professionally, expanding and updating it as I can.

Please feel free to comment – I’d love to hear from you. No medical advice, please, I’m getting excellent care.

 

Update 1 – 5.5.25:

Something I didn’t include, but should have: the pain has been extreme (wailing, sobbing extreme) when I first stand up after the painkiller (Oxycodone) has worn off. The drug is a lifesaver, and I’m careful to take it only when I absolutely need to. I’m including this because it’s a large part of my reality. My ribs are healing so the pain is only in my neck now, rather than every breath as it was before.

Much of my body was a technicolor display of bruises, and those are healing, too. I’m very grateful that the injuries weren’t worse, and I’m motivated to put in the work to heal.

Your comments make me happy, thank you.

Feel free to share this blog post at will.

 

Update 2 – 5.8.25:

Wow, thank you, Coaches’ Corner line dancers and California Sister Floral Design & Supply for these beautiful flowers! I can barely express the joy they bring me with their beauty and the sentiment from the dancers. I feel your love on every petal.

 

 

You can see from my smile and demeanor that I’m regaining my  joie de vivre, feeling less wan and helpless. more capable and optimistic. Pain management is easier, and although it’s a long road ahead, I have pep in my step for getting there. I have professional commitments waiting for me, and fortunately my editors and clients are compassionate and stretching their deadlines to make it easier on me. I feel very lucky – both to be alive, and to be surrounded by compassionate people. Again, shout out to Mac who helps me every day, every hour.

 

Update 3 – 5.12.25:

Every day is easier. I was advised to try to walk 2,000 steps a day (I was used to 8,000-10,000/day, sometimes more), and as soon as I felt stable enough over the last week, I started trying to beat that by a little more every day. I love goals, in case you don’t know that about me. Yesterday was 5,500 steps! Whether or not you’re an exerciser, please know that movement may be hard at first, but once you get some momentum, it’s a pain reliever and stress reducer — good for your brain as well as your body. Whatever movement you’re capable of, my friends, please pursue it!

 

 

I have physical and mental energy spurts now that I didn’t before. I finally feel as though I’m working towards healing, instead of fighting an uphill battle against my injuries, if that makes sense.  It will be a long road, but I’m on that road instead of seeing it in the distance.

As always, please feel free to comment. Many thanks for being on Team Joan!

 

Update 4 – 5.16.25:

Little progress markers mean so much: decreasing my pain meds; increasing my walking time, distance, and speed; pouring my coffee or smoothie into a mug on my own; being able to focus on listening to an extraordinary novel: The Emperor of Gladness by Ocean Vuong. I have work to do that is waiting for me patiently, and I hope my next report tells you that I’m able to get back to it.

I had a talk with one of my closest, dearest people who has been in my life since 1968. He told me about asking a group of elders, “What are you proudest of, but you don’t tell people because it would seem like bragging?” If you care to answer in the comments, I’d love to read it. Thank you for making this a community of kindness.

 

 

Update 5 – 5.27.25:

I’ve been making progress — more walking (my new record is 8,500 steps in one day), less pain, even a bit of work. In two days I have a phone appointment with my specialist who will evaluate the latest x-ray to see whether my neck fractures have healed enough to remove my 24/7 neck brace. I’ll check in after that appointment. Meanwhile, here’s my newest friend, a neighborhood cat who comes to meet me and get some petting.

 

 

 

Update 6 – 5.29.25:

Oh, what a wonderful day! I had an appointment with my marvelous spine specialist who said my neck was stable and healed enough to remove the neck brace that had imprisoned me for 35 days, 24/7. The feeling of freedom!

I can’t straighten up yet (that will come, I’m assured), but oh, to be able to move more freely and do things I couldn’t do at all while I wore it — such as take a full shower and wash my hair!

I invite you to laugh at the rat’s nest that I call my hair in these photos immediately after removing the neck brace:

 

 

…and after the first shower and shampoo in 5 weeks:

Update 7 – 6.10.25:

Oh, joy! I had my first physical therapy appointment yesterday, with good news. Let me back up: Once I was able to remove the hard, confining neck brace, I was elated at my new freedom, yet I was unable to straighten up. My head still jutted forward, and my neck was at an angle instead of upright. I had been very worried and, frankly, frightened that I wouldn’t be able to correct my posture because I felt stuck in that position. Brian Swanson, my physical therapist — whom I like very much! — told me that yes, there might be “hindrances” to straightening up, but I would be able to improve as I gain mobility and strength. I have exercises to do and a plan of action.

When I asked when I could teach my line dance class again, Brian said he understood that this was important to my sense of well-being and feeling in charge of my progress (yes!), and I could return soon. I’ll need to modify my own movements, avoid speed and multiple turns, and take breaks, but that’s fine! I’m aiming for the end of this month!

This photo isn’t current, but I post it for my own inspiration:

 

Update 8 – 6.22.25:

It’s been almost two months now.  Progress seemed so slow at first, but now it’s speeding up! I’m far from healed or independent, but I can do much more now. From little things like being able to chew my food (I “ate” through a straw for the first month when I was confined to the brace 24/7)  and really enjoy eating to huge steps like meeting a very important work deadline (hurray for me — more about that in a few days!), adding movement personal training with the wonderful Christopher Cormier to my ongoing PT, and — today — walking almost two miles, including two hills, with just brief breaks to lean on my hiking poles or rest on a bench.

 

 

My posture — which has been scarily hunched over — is starting to improve noticeably. I have a long way to go, but I see a difference suddenly, and that motivates me.

None of this progress is happening automatically with time passing, please understand. Healing is a job. It takes work, goal-setting, determination, compliance with the PT exercises several times a day, pain management, telling myself, “Yes, I can!” when I think I can’t — and naps, lots of naps!

Sometimes, I’ll be candid with you, I cry because it’s so hard and/or I’m afraid. I don’t want to come across as Wonder Woman (well, maybe a little…) or sugar-coat what this journey is like. I also don’t want to be one of those people who overshare on social media, but many of you tell me that you find my words and actions inspiring, so I don’t want to hold back, either.

Again, thank you to Mac Marshall, my companion, confidant, chef, chauffeur, and so much more.

 

Update 9 – 6.30.25:

Guess what I did tonight!

 

Update 10 – 7.7.25:

On the dance floor again!

 

Update 11 – 8.24.25:

Several people have emailed me that they’re worried because I haven’t updated in a month and a half. I apologize for worrying you. I’m doing much better. I’m writing (meeting deadlines again!), dancing, driving, and even doing virtual presentations and podcast interviews again. I’ve made a lot of progress physically, and I still have more to go. I fatigue easily, and my progress feels slow to me, but it’s steady and visible to others. I know I’ve come a long way, and I’m grateful.  I have a great team for physical therapy, movement, and bodywork, and I’m working hard at my end.

I appreciate all of your warm and supportive comments on this post. They mean the world to me.

===

To my readers who have been requesting consultations: thank you for your patience. I’m booking Zoom appointments now. Email me. If we haven’t already connected, tell me the questions and concerns that you’d like to discuss with me.