Posts by Joan Price
The Wish from We-Vibe
There’s a lot to love about the Wish by We-Vibe. Relatively small, the Wish is powered by two motors that work independently to give a variety of 10 patterns. For its size, it packs a powerful punch. It is made of body-safe silicone, is light and small enough for travel, and can be used solo or during partner sex for extra clitoral stimulation. It’s quiet, even at the highest settings. And it’s fully waterproof!
As an external vulva vibrator, the Wish is designed to curve over the whole surface of the vulva, sending vibrations to the nerve endings of the external and internal clitoris. (If you’re not familiar with the parts of the clitoris that reside under the skin, my ring illustrates this in miniature, and click here for an explanation.)
You can also use the tapered tip for pinpoint vibration, if you like. The tip is pointy, soft, and squishy, so you can press down for a delightful and intense sensation.
My only problem with the Wish is that it’s not quite strong enough for me. Almost, but not quite. It packs a lot of power in its small size — it’s not at all a wimpy vibrator! But at 73, I often need the turbo power of the Magic Wand, the Doxy Die Cast, or the Sybian. I acknowledge — and you’ve told me this, readers — that most of you don’t need the same level of intensity that I do. In that case, I think you’d love the Wish. And if it’s not quite strong enough, it’s a lovely warm-up to whatever you choose as your main event.
The Wish is rechargeable using a magnetic charger. The silver plates that you see at one end are for charging. The controls are the less visible, raised white button. I found the button difficult and slightly painful to press with my arthritic hand. Pressing with my thumbnail solved the problem, and I recommend that technique. Or, use the app:
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| Power Pulse setting |
We-Vibe offers We-Connect™, a free app that you can download from your app store, that lets you control your Wish via your phone or tablet. You can turn it off and on, choose a pattern, and turn the intensity up or down.
At first I was indifferent to this idea — why not just press the button? But I tried it, putting my iPad on the bed beside me, and I found I liked it!
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| Massage setting |
I could swipe up to get to full power. I could swipe right or left to choose a pattern — which was nicely illustrated on the screen — instead of pressing the button until I happened upon one that I liked. I understand that I can also create my own pattern using the app, but I didn’t try that.
I think We-Connect™ would be particularly helpful if you have a disability or condition that makes pressing the button difficult. There’s also the option to let a lover control your Wish via the app from anywhere in the world. I didn’t try that — let me know if you do, and how you like it.
Although We-Vibe promotes the Wish as a vulva stimulator, and it definitely works for that, I think that any set of genitals would enjoy the sensations. It also works nicely as a whole body massager, curved to fit the body’s peaks and valleys.
Thank you, Good Vibrations, for sending me the Wish by We-Vibe in return for an honest review.
How did your mother’s teachings about sexuality affect you?
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| Shirley Kassman and daughter Joan |
I originally published this on Mother’s Day, 2013. I’m bringing it back on Mother’s Day, 2017.
Let’s do something different here for Mother’s Day: Looking back, how did your mother’s teachings about sexuality affect how you matured, interacted in relationships, saw yourself as a sexual being, enjoyed your sexuality?
I was born in 1943. When I came of age, my mother, Shirley Leshan Kassman, taught me nothing about sex other than a little about menstruation. The birds-and-bees talk was left to my obstetrician/ gynecologist father, who gave me a pamphlet about how women got pregnant accompanied by “ask me if you have any questions.”
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| Joan 1961, senior year high school |
Sure, I had questions. No, my parents weren’t the ones I asked. Since my father regularly saw girls my age who were “in trouble,” as unplanned pregnancy was called at the time, his point of view was decidedly and strictly a “don’t do it!” warning.
So when I started having sex at 17 with my high school boyfriend, I knew I would be in big trouble if I got discovered (I did, but that’s another story), and I knew nothing about pleasure.
Pleasure — or why anyone would do these strange things with each other — was totally omitted from my sex education. That’s a weird and dangerous omission! When kissing and “petting” got me aroused, I was surprised and thought something was happening to me that didn’t happen to other girls. What to do about that arousal remained a mystery, however.
In those days, no one mentioned the clitoris, not in the laughable “hygiene class” that was supposed to teach sex ed, not in any books I could find, and certainly not in the pamphlet that was supposed to ready me for adult sexuality. I had heard that women could have orgasms (no idea where I learned that), but how to make that happen? I had no idea — neither did my boyfriend.
I have two chapters in Naked at Our Age called “Unlearning Our Upbringing” — one with women’s stories, one with men’s stories. They’re poignant, provocative, compelling. At a certain point we either look at our upbringing and realize it doesn’t serve us any more, and we change — or we don’t.
I hope you’ll add your comments and share your own experience. You don’t have to use your real name (choose a first name of your choice instead of “anonymous”), but please tell us your real age so we can see how the era in which we were raised affected what we were taught about sex.
(A much shorter version of this post was published on Mother’s Day 2011.)
2016 Holiday Gift Guide for Sexy Seniors
Whether you’re looking for a special gift for a loved one, for the two (or more) of you, or for your own private pleasure, here are some recommendations to put a sexy, satisfied smile on your or your giftee’s face.
If you think your gift won’t arrive in time, blame it on me for getting this Gift Guide out so late. Write a note about your intentions and welcome in the New Year when it arrives. (Or email me and I’ll hand write the note for you, scan it, and email it back to you.)
Two of our favorites have new updates:
The Pulse III * for penis pleasure has arrived from Hot Octopuss, and it’s better than ever. Now you can go from any level straight to “Turbo Mode.” An anti-stall sensor prevents any pressure from interfering with the vibrations. The Duo partner’s experience has been improved. And now it charges magnetically. Every penis owner that I know who has tried any version of the Pulse has loved it, especially because no erection is required. I appreciate that as good as it is, Hot Octopuss keeps improving this penis pleaser. Read this review of the Pulse I and II and this one of the Pulse Solo and Duo II from our contest winners. Order the new one here.
* 2021 update. This version of the Pulse is no longer available. Links have been changed to the Pulse Essential, the newer comparable model.
Do you own a Sybian? If you do, check out these two new silicone attachments to ride into orgasm: Triple Delight has soft clitoral and anal stimulating bumps at either end of a penetrative G-spotter. (Yes, you can have it all.) The Silky Smooth Flat Top is for you if you prefer your vibrations without penetration — use it in either direction and put the bump wherever you want it. If you’re unfamiliar with the glorious Sybian, read my review here (notice the discount code!) and learn about other silicone attachments here.
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| Rumble |
Here are some special sex toys that I reviewed in 2016, with quotes from these reviews and links to the full reviews:
Rumble. “Do you want a vibrator that’s well-designed, well-made, body-safe, and fairly strong — with a truly ergonomic shape, size, and weight? A solution if you have wrist arthritis or any condition that makes it difficult to grip or hold up a wand vibrator for as long as it takes to get the job done.”
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| Doxie Die Cast |
Doxie Die Cast. “Strong as in lie-back-and-it’ll-happen strong, even if your orgasms usually take a lot of effort. If you like a high intensity clitoral vibrator, this power tool will sing to you in great, rumbly, throbby tones.”
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| Prism V |
L’Amourose Prism V. “A curvaceous work of art that happens to be a deep, strong, and rumbly g-spot vibrator. The shape and faceted design are lovely, and it’s easy to hold.”
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| Womanizer |
Womanizer W500. “It’s the suction. It doesn’t just vibrate (though it does do that) — it gently pulls on the clitoris, bringing blood flow, engorgement, and increased sensation. It’s not ‘sucking’ like a vacuum — it’s subtle, but oh so effective and pleasurable.”
Here are couple of new products that might strike your fancy. I haven’t written full reviews of these, but they deserve mention here:
Funkit. (Yes, that’s an “n,” not a “c,” though the logo with the “n” on its side makes you look twice.) This beautiful silicone dildo aims to please, whether you use it vaginally or anally. The end is a suction cup, so you have even more options for play. Check out Funkit’s website for many more dildo designs that show you that sex and art can be a lovely couple. They also make butt plugs, spanking paddles, and textured rings for your pleasure-giving finger.
O-Wand. Big and heavy — 1.6 pounds and 13 inches long — this elegant, powerful, silicone vibrator is curved with an ergonomic handle so you can hold it in different ways and even rest it on your body. It comes in a huge (17″), fancy box, includes a nubby cap accessory and a set of charger adapters for different countries. There’s no pouch, though, which is strange considering its high price. It’s completely waterproof, so you can take it in the tub with you. (I recommend not taking it in the shower, because if you drop 1.6 pounds on your foot, it could be serious.) Get 15% off with the discount code “BETTER15” — just for our readers.
Überlube: When you want to feel a gliding sensation of skin on skin, this luxurious silicone lubricant delivers. Long-lasting for our slow-burning older bodies, slick for our delicate tissues, and a clear favorite of mine. Available in an elegant glass bottle or a refillable travel case.
Wicked: Want to smell and taste like a candy apple, cinnamon bun, or salted caramel? Wicked has a delightful collection of flavored lubricants, most of then water-based. Buy them at SheVibe,
Lucky Bloke: For the best selection of condoms, Lucky Bloke has you covered — so to speak. Take their simple test to make sure you’re wearing the right size condom, then order some sampler kits and try different brands. Lucky Bloke also offers lubricant samplers.
Of course it would make me very happy if you got your giftee or yourself one of my senior sex books — the gifts that keep on giving. A good choice for a holiday gift is Ageless Erotica, a ground-breaking anthology by talented writers over 50 featuring steamy, sexy characters over 50 (sometimes decades over 50). Ageless Erotica presents sexy seniors enjoying and sharing their erotic moments in short stories and memoir essays . And while you’re looking at my books, how about giving your sweetie or yourself one of my self-help senior sex books for the new year?
This kitten is Bobby Joe, a new member of my household. He is trying very hard to take on the role of resident sex kitten.
Our Dumb [Lack of] Sex Education
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| High school grad 1961 |
If you’re over 60, 70 and beyond, how did sex misinformation and the lack of a decent sex education form your attitude about sex? What did you have to learn or unlearn to become the person you are today?
I’ll start. I was born in 1943. This was my sex education:
- When I was in junior high, my school’s gender-segregated sex education program was comprised of a filmstrip showing drawings of the reproductive system (no clitoris to be found) and a lecture about menstruation — why it happens, what to expect. I recall nothing about why people might choose to have sex!
- When I was a young teenager, my sex education was a pamphlet handed to me by my father, an obstetrician/gynecologist, explaining how the sperm fertilized the egg — but nothing about how the sperm got to the egg, and nothing about arousal or pleasure.
- When I was an older teenager, my father told me, “The best birth control is a dime — held firmly between the knees.” He did not want me to end up like some of my classmates who came to his office for a pregnancy test and later were shipped off to have the baby somewhere and give it up for adoption. These were the days before legal abortion.
- The summer before I started college, my grandmother told me, “Don’t ever let a boy have his way with you! If you do, he’ll never marry you. After all, why buy the cow when you can get the milk free?” I was already having sex with my high school boyfriend.
- During my freshman year in college, my father found out that I was having sex with my high school boyfriend. My parents declared that I was never to see him alone again, only supervised by my parents or his. So I learned how to lie to my parents.
- Home for the summer after my freshman year in college, I feared I was pregnant. Rather than risk going to a local doctor who would know my family and inform my father, my former boyfriend and I drove 50 miles so that I could use a fake name and not be recognized. I never told my parents about this.
How did my lack of sex education inform my later attitudes and behavior? Fortunately, I was a rebel. You wouldn’t have guessed that looking at me. I behaved in school, dressed like a “good girl,” studied hard and got good grades, and mostly kept my divergent views to myself. But sexually, I rebelled. Thanks to my [lack of] sex education in high school, I thought I had discovered sexual passion — surely no one else knew about this! I loved getting excited, even though I wouldn’t have my first orgasm until sophomore year in college. That was one more casualty of my [lack of] sex education — we didn’t know anything about the clitoris and its role in female orgasm. Heck (I laugh to find myself falling into the language of the times!), we didn’t know anything about female orgasm, except that some women were “frigid” and it was their own fault and they should fix it.
But enough about me. How about you? What are the things you were taught — or not taught — that make you shake your head in disbelief now? If you’re over 60, please comment. Use whatever invented first name you want, but please include your real age. If you’re under 50, please stay and read the comments — this is the life we led. This is how we learned (or didn’t learn) about sex. These are the barriers we had to overcome.
Speaking of barriers, who remembers the childhood game Red Rover? “Red Rover, Red Rover, we dare Joanie to come over!” — is that how it went? The person who was summoned would race to the line of locked hands and try to break through. As tiny as I was (6th grade nickname: Mighty Mouse), I always succeeded because I barreled through any obstacle with little fear of consequence. I guess in my small way, I’m still doing that!