Senior Sex Toy Focus Group Invitation

UPDATE: The focus groups have ended. But please visit Hot Octopuss for a variety of exceptional sex toys for penises and vulvas.

Are you a senior (age 50-80+) with opinions about sex toys, and you’re not shy about sharing them with us? Hot Octopuss and I invite you to participate in a live, online focus group for seniors discussing sex, sex toys, and more. In return for an hour of your time, you’ll get $100 towards your purchase of Hot Octopuss products — and the satisfaction of knowing that a company that is invested in your sexual pleasure is listening to you!

Hot Octopuss is looking for your thoughts on sex, sex toys, and how you buy them. Joan Price, our Senior Sexpert, will conduct our secure Senior Sex online focus groups and would love your views in exchange for $100 in vouchers.

REGISTER NOW

Focus groups will last one hour. They will be recorded by Hot Octopuss and moderated by Joan. All information will be treated with the strictest confidentiality in line with our privacy policy. Your name or image will not be mentioned or used publicly. Register now by taking this confidential survey.

Focus group participants will be chosen from survey respondents.

REGISTER NOW

Right now focus groups are scheduled at these USA times, and we may add more later to accommodate other time zones:

  • Wednesday 9th December  – 2pm EST (11am PST)
  • Wednesday 9th December – 7pm EST (4pm PST)
  • Saturday 12th December – 2pm EST (11am PST)
  • Saturday 12th December – 7pm EST (4pm PST)
Jett

Hot Octopuss Jett

 

If you’re not familiar with Hot Octopuss, here’s what I want you to know:

  • They make superb vibrators, especially for seniors. Their penis vibrators can be used with or without an erection! See Shamus MacDuff’s reviews of the Pulse Solo Lux and the JETT, especially.

    Hot Octopuss Pulse

  • I’m the Resident Senior Sexpert of the Hot Octopuss Senior Sex Hub, a resource offering senior sex information, blog posts, and Q&As. Check it out!

 

 

7 Tips to Spice Up Your Sex Life

sex tips for better sex

I was asked by a reporter for my best sex tips for better sex life during this time of sheltering in place, especially for couples who have been together for a long time. How many of these have you tried?

1. Take turns during sex. Luxuriate in having your partner’s full attention on you, pleasuring you in the ways that turn you on the most. Then after you’re fully satisfied, turn your attention to your partner. By taking turns instead of trying to please both of you with one activity (which might not be what you want at the moment), you get double the pleasure: yours and your partner’s.

2. Relive memories. Cuddle in bed and ask each other, “What do you remember about our first date?” or “What was our first kiss like for you?” or “When did you know you wanted to go to bed with me?” Describing how you felt when your relationship was new can help recapture those fluttery feelings of lust, even if you’ve been together for decades. Your brain is your main sex organ.

3. Try a new sex toy. There’s a world of sexy orgasm tools out there, and each one can arouse you in a new way. While you’re sheltering in place, look at the websites of your favorite sex toy retailer (or discover one of mine in this blog if you don’t have a favorite) and pick out something new. Explore together what it does and how you enjoy using it. Don’t know where to start? My Sex Toys for Seniors webinar is a lively show-and-tell of some of my favorites. Try a new lubricant, too!

4. Use a favorite sex toy in a new way. A vibrator that you use on your clitoris can arouse a penis as well, and nipples, and any erogenous zone. See how many new uses you can find for a toy. Explore! Fun suggestion: blindfold your partner and use a sex toy that your partner doesn’t expect. Or try “Refrigerator Sex“!

5. Gift the penis owner in your life a new vibrator. Whatever your gender, it’s common to need more stimulation for arousal and orgasm as we age. Vibrators for penises such as Hot Octopuss‘s Pulse or JETT  or Fun Factory‘s Manta  can take your penis of choice to a shattering orgasm while you assist or just watch — and they don’t require an erection for use.

6. Exercise together. Exercise increases blood flow to the genitals as well as to the muscles and brain. Dance in the living room. Take a Zoom exercise class together. Power walk around the block. Chase each other through the house. Exercise before sex can rev up your arousal and make orgasm easier!

7. Talk before, during, and after sex about your desires and pleasures. Ask for what you want. Tell partners what you love about what they do to/for/with you. Talk about new things you’d like to try, fantasies you’d like to explore, new ways you’d like to be touched. Your partner wants to please you, so make it easier to know what you want. Communication is sexy!

Do you have your own favorite sex tips for better sex you’d like to share? Tell us in the comments.

Limba Flex Dildos from Fun Factory + Dildo Fun Facts

The Fun Factory Limba Flex dildos, available from Betty’s Toy Box, are as practical as they are lovely.  The Limba Flex Medium is 6.8 inches long, yet only 1.2 inches in diameter. The Limba Flex Small is shorter — 4.7 inches long — and slightly slimmer at 1.1″ diameter. The shapes are different — they’re not just different size versions of the same dildo. They’re both made of body-safe silicone.

The best part about these dildos is that they bend! You can get just the right curve or angle for hitting the G-spot or prostate and for accommodating arthritic wrists.

I found the Medium much easier to bend than the Small, probably because of the length. The Medium bent easily from completely straight, to tilted at the tip, to curved a little, to about 90 degrees. The Small changed angle also, but with fewer variations, and it took some wrestling.

There are hundreds, maybe thousands, of girthy dildos in sex toy land, many of them uncomfortable or even unusable for aging vaginas. (Your preferred dildo width will vary, of course.)  These lovely creatures work well for those of us who find a slim fit more comfortable.  Combine this with the flex option, and these are winners. As with all Fun Factory toys, they are high quality and built to last.

FYI the colors in the photos look lighter and bluer than the actual dildos, which are dark teal (Medium) and turquoise (Small). Use with plenty of water-based lubricant for best results.

 

Thank you, Fun Factory, for creating this graphic!

 

More Fun Factory pleasure tools you’ll want to check out:

So many ways to enjoy a dildo!

  • Solo: Hold the dildo and insert it vaginally or anally*, as you please.
  • Solo x2: Hold the dildo in one hand for penetration and a vibrator in the other for clitoral stimulation. Isn’t that why we have two hands?
  • Partnered manual: You or your partner holds the dildo during sex pleasuring.
  • Partnered with harness: You or your partner penetrates the other by wearing the dildo in a harness, such as these from Smitten Kitten. If the wearer has erectile limitations, consider the Deuce harness from SpareParts which accommodates both a dildo and a penis, erect or not.
  • Temperature play: Experiment with chilling your silicone or glass dildo in the refrigerator or in a bowl of ice. Prefer warm? Warm it in hot water. Or switch between the two!
  • Experiment your way! This is just an introduction. There are no limits to what you, your body, and your imagination might enjoy.

* Important: Don’t switch from anal to vaginal with an insertable toy or a body part, no matter how squeaky clean you feel. If you want to switch without getting up to clean your dildo (or body part), have two and designate which goes where. Another option is to use condoms on your dildo and change condoms between orifices. For anal play safety, be sure you’re using a dildo with a flared base. All the dildos recommended here have flared bases.

 

Limba Flex dildos on Fun Factory bandana

More dildo resources for you:

  • Read “Dil-do’s and Dil-don’ts” from Good Vibrations to learn more about dildos and how to choose the right one for you.
  • Most of the sex toy retailers in the right hand column (advertisers and affiliates) carry an extensive line of dildos. Think first about what you want in size and shape, and where you’ll want it to go.

Tantus Paisley dildo

  • For the largest selection of  silicone dildos of every shape, size, color, and design imaginable, check out Tantus. I think my Tantus Paisley dildo is the most beautiful. Although the color combination in mine isn’t available now, you can get the same model with all the wonderful bumps and swirls in “true blood red” or “twilight” blue. This one has a 1.5-inch diameter.
  • Kenton at Funkit Toys enjoys experimenting with colors and designs and, oh, the results are eye-popping. Kenton makes paddles and floggers as well as dildos. His Twitter feed is always interesting and often hilarious.

Funkit dildo

 

Old People Sex, a poem by Shamus MacDuff

Old People Sex

(with apologies to T.S. Eliot)

by Shamus MacDuff

 

It starts with talk—a conversation—
At which we set a date for play
Often a day or two away.

 

Time passes, anticipation simmers,
Thoughts unfold, excitement builds,
And then the chosen time arrives!

 

Showers happen, nothing’s rushed.
Sheets are pulled back, lube’s at hand,
And sex toys to match our ken.

 

We begin with talk—a loving flirtation—
Back and forth about who’ll go first,
Taking turns is very sexy!

 

The receiver makes requests; the giver
Complies gladly. Our “joint undertaking”
May require repositioned stiff knees.

 

Kissing, touching, then more kissing,
And more touching, all slow and easy,
No hurried strokes, no rush.

 

Responsive desire fires mutual pleasure,
Slow, gentle, sensuous, and exhilarating,
Spiced with smiles and laughter.

 

Activities vary, we experiment as we play.
PIV seldom happens; other ways
Prove more pleasurable and fun.

 

We finish with orgasms, hugs, spooning,
And more conversation—sharing thoughts about
Our past and present lives.

 

And this is how our date ends, this is how our date ends
This is how our date ends,
Not with a bang, but a cuddle.

 


Set the stage for Old People Sex with a variety of favorite sex toys and lube for all purposes!