Posts Tagged ‘sex toys’
Vibrators for Seniors – especially for first-timers
Are you new to sex toys and nervous about buying one? Why should you even care about vibrators? You got this far in life without one, so what’s the big deal? Read on to learn more about vibrators for seniors.
A well-chosen, well-placed vibrator can be the difference between orgasm and no orgasm for seniors – it’s sometimes that simple.
Many older bodies need more intense stimulation than fingers or a mouth or partner’s genitals can provide. Our own or a lover’s hand and other body parts may feel wonderful and arousing, but many of us feel stuck without more intensity: vibrator-quality intensity.
If this rings true for you, you’re not defective – this is just how your body works. Lucky for us, there are many excellent options guaranteeing that you can find one – or many! – that get you from arousal to orgasm.
What do seniors need?
I started reviewing vibrators on this blog in 2009, when I was a mere youth of 66. The older I got, the fussier I became about the sex toy qualities that work best for seniors and for me personally. Now I review products “from a senior perspective” because the needs of older bodies differ from younger folks. For example:
- We need vibrators that give us intense sensation when needed. Our hormones and blood flow no longer rush to arouse us, so we need more powerful stimulation to rev us up. Many of us can’t reach orgasm without it. If we’re longtime vibrator users, we may find that a toy from our past is no longer strong enough.
- We need vibrators that don’t quit on us. Arousal is slower and less dependable for most of us. Our vibrators need to warm us up and stay with us for as long as we need, without overheating, losing their charge, or irritating sensitive tissues.
- We want comfort. Older vulvas and vaginas are more delicate than they were in our youth. Despite needing more sensation, most of us don’t want hard materials or pounding pressure. We may need cushioning between the strong, rumbling vibrations and our sensitive skin.
- We want ergonomic design. Arthritic wrists and hands are common. It hurts when we must bend or twist our wrist to hold a toy in position. We like strong vibrations on our genitals but not pulsing through our hands. The best designed vibrators let us concentrate on our pleasure without worrying how long our wrists can hold out.
- Many of us want slimmer insertable toys. Vulva owners who enjoy vaginal penetration may require a slim fit for comfort now. Learn what you need for your own comfort. Check the dimensions of the thickest insertable part of a product before ordering.
- We require body-safe materials. Some of the cheapest toys (especially knock-offs from shady stores or Amazon) are made of toxic materials that don’t belong anywhere near the fragile skin of aginggenitals. Purchase quality products from known vendors.
- Penis vibrators, no erection required. Penis owners benefit from the extra stimulation of vibrators. Older penises may have unreliable erections or ED, but they can still feel pleasure and reach orgasm with the right stimulation. They need sex toys that don’t require an erection to use it, unlike the “masturbation sleeve” products. Creative companies like Hot Octopuss and Fun Factory have designed powerful vibrators that work even when the penis is semi-hard or flaccid.
- Bonus points for easy controls. We want controls we can see and differentiate, even with slippery, lubed fingers. What a buzz kill when we meant to press “power up” for stronger intensity, and instead we hit “power off”! Please, sex toy manufacturers, don’t make us grab our reading glasses mid-action. Give us controls we can adjust by touch.
How do I know what I want?
If you’re a sex toy novice, don’t buy the first product that looks good in an ad or on the shelf. Obviously, you can’t take it to a back room to give it an orgasmic whirl before buying, but this process will help you choose:
- What do you personally need to orgasm? There are so many different shapes, sizes, and styles of vibrators, and we’re all different in what works for us. Read my “How to Choose a Vibrator” to narrow your choices. Answer the 8 questions there to narrow down your choices.
- Watch my Sex Toys for Seniors webinar. This 90-minute crash course in sex toys for seniors covers what vibrators can do for you that a hand or partner can’t, how to choose the best one(s) for you, busting myths about vibrator use (such as whether it will desensitize you and how to address a partner’s objections), and much more. I show you a large selection of highly recommended vibrators and help you decide if they’re right for you. See my webinar page for pricing.
- Read reviews (such as mine from a senior perspective) to get a better idea of how certain toys work for some people. Use reviews to further narrow down your choices. Learn to discern between a review (someone personally tested the product and reports on the experience) and a marketing promotion (designed to sell the product, not help you evaluate if it’s for you).
- Emphasize quality over cost if you can afford it. The higher-priced items don’t cut corners in product design, body-safe materials, and reliability. They’ll last longer, too.
- Learn as much as you can about the products you’re considering, asking yourself, “Which one(s) would be right for my needs, my challenges, my preferences? If there’s a progressive, education-based sex toy store in your area, visit in person. If not, purchase from online retailers that emphasize customer satisfaction and an openness to the needs of our age group, such as the ones I link to in reviews and on my blog’s right-hand column.
I originally wrote a slightly different version of this post for the Lion’s Den blog. You can see the original here.
Rocketeer Vibrating Penis Enhancer Sheath review by Shamus MacDuff
Think of the Rocketeer Vibrating Penis Enhancer Sheath as a “booster rocket” for self-pleasuring. When I saw ads for it, I was eager to try it out. Rocketeer is an innovative sheath that wraps partially around and sits atop your erect penis. It attaches to your member and around your scrotum via three stretchy loops. The nine-speed motor is easy to turn on and off. Rocketeer is waterproof, relatively quiet, made of silicone, and recharges easily through a USB cable provided. It is a unique new design. What’s not to like?
I was very excited when the Rocketeer made by Gender X arrived from Betty’s Toy Box. I charged it, cleaned it thoroughly, and prepared to take it for a ride. But it didn’t fit me properly. Only two rings of the potential “three ring circus” this toy promises attached to me. The one that stretched around my scrotum went on easily and comfortably, as did the one that looped around the base of my penis. But the ring meant to encircle my erect penis head flopped forlornly nearly an inch too far away. Imagine my frustration!
The packaging for Rocketeer mentions that it is 6.06 inches long. But I didn’t expect that it would only fit those with erections of that length or greater. Alfred Kinsey was a pioneer in sexuality research who made many important contributions. Unfortunately, one of those, published in the 1960s, was based upon highly problematic data: self-reports from men who measured their own erect penises. From that flawed information Kinsey and colleagues concluded that average erect penis size was over 6 inches. Evidently, Rocketeer’s designers relied upon this outdated information.
In the half century since Kinsey’s work, many more careful studies of erect penis length have been done. These use measurements taken by health professionals rather than provided from self reports. The resultant more accurate data show that human erect penis length forms a statistically normal distribution: the average is between 5.1 and 5.5 inches. The range between 4.5 inches and 5.8 inches covers 68 percent of the men measured, and from 3.9 inches to 6.3 inches covers 95 percent of the variance.
An erection measuring 6 inches lies in the top 15 percent for penis length, and an erect penis of 6.3 inches is in the 95th percentile, which means only 5 out of every 100 exceed that length. These data highlight Rocketeer’s major problem: the toy has been constructed to fit an erect penis of 6.06 inches or more. That design miscalculation means that it will not properly fit the great majority of its potential customers!
The photographs below show Rocketeer mounted on dildos of different sizes. Granted, these dildos don’t have scrotums, but you get the idea of the fit.
Given my frustration, I tried a work-around to see if I could experience at least some of the sensations the toy might offer. I doubled the penis head ring back on itself and placed it onto my member so that, bunched up, it remained briefly in place. I then pulled a condom over this bundle. That snugged it enough so I could start the motor and receive at least a modicum of the motor’s patterns.
While these felt good in a low-level sort of way, I felt cheated. And I’m afraid this toy will disappoint any owner of an erect penis measuring less than 6.06 inches in length. I can’t speak for those who measure more. While the basic plan of Rocketeer is a good one, unless Gender X remakes it in a length that will fit more than a mere 15 percent of their intended market, I’m afraid their rocket has misfired.
If your erection length is right for the Rocketeer, watch Carolyn’s upbeat video about ways you can use it for solo and partner fun, including during intercourse. Although Rocketeer Vibrating Penis Enhancer Sheath didn’t work for me, I wish to emphasize that Betty’s Toy Box is a great source of excellent products. I encourage you to visit their site. Use this link and the coupon code JOAN10 for a 10% discount off any purchase.
Learn more about erect penis length:
- “Average-Size Erect Penis: Fiction, Fact, and the Need for Counseling,” Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy.
- “The Average Penis Size For a Male Isn’t as Big as You Think,” Men’s Health UK.
—Shamus MacDuff, age 79, was oblivious to the delights of sex toys for penises until about 5 years ago. He’s been making up for lost time! Read his other posts here.
Mini Magic Wand Review
Do you love your Magic Wand, but you wish for a smaller, lighter, yet still powerful version? Or do you wish your clitoris could experience the Magic Wand that everyone raves about, but the size of the original is daunting? Welcome to the new Magic Wand Mini Cordless Rechargeable Vibrator from Betty’s Toy Box. You’ll get the same quality and most of the power at half the weight.
But is it small? It’s not small. When I think “mini,” I mean toys that are small enough to toss in a purse or stuff into the toe of a sock that’s going into my suitcase, like the We-Vibe Touch or Tango or the Hot Octopuss DiGiT: palm-sized or smaller. This isn’t that! However, compared to the regular Magic Wand, it’s mini. To compare:
Magic Wand Rechargeable: 13 inches long, weighs 1 pound 5.1 ounces, handle diameter 1.9 inches.
Mini Magic Wand: 9.5 inches long, weighs 9.7 ounces, handle diameter 1.5 inches.
What about power?
Yes, it’s strong, though not as strong as the bigger models. The Mini Magic Wand has 3 power settings, vs. the Magic Wand Rechargeable’s 4 power settings and 4 patterns. The Mini has plenty of power for most of us – including me, and I need strong vibrations. However, the second and third settings are higher-pitched (buzzier) than the bigger model. If rumbly vibes work best for you or you need the power of the highest setting, you’ll probably want to stay with the larger wand. If you usually stay within the first settings of the Magic Wand and your clitoris does not demand rumbly, this will be a great choice for you.
Controls are intuitive: press the power button, then press “+” for more intensity and “-” for lower intensity. Controls are easy to see and use without reading glasses.
The head of the Mini is body-safe silicone, with a little cushioning that can make all the difference when you’re pressing it to your clitoris. The neck is flexible, so that you can get the best position for your wrist. At our age, we have to think about these things.
The head is much smaller than that of the Magic Wand Rechargeable, which has its pros and cons. Pro: it doesn’t take up so much room (vulvar real estate, I could call it) if you’re also inserting fingers, a penis, or a dildo into your vagina while you use the Mini on your clitoris. Con: if you like more vulvar coverage to stimulate the internal clitoris, you might prefer the larger version.
The slimmer handle is as much a bonus as the lighter weight. It’s much easier for my small, arthritic hand to hold, letting me forget about the logistics and just enjoy the sensation.
Like the larger Magic Wands, it’s noisy. Close the door, turn up the music, send your family members to the movies.
I was delighted to find a full-sized user manual in the box, with clear, large black print on white pages. Thank you, Vibratex (and shame on all the sex toy companies that send tiny guides with light lettering on a colored background, impossible to read). But do we really need 5 full pages of warnings plus additional warnings on almost every page? I can’t even count the number of “Do not…” and “Never…” Sure, we want to know what not to do, but let’s not scare people away from using pleasure tools. Vibrators are not high-risk products. What if every restaurant menu contained 5 pages of what could happen if we choked on our food, ate enough to make us vomit, or scooped it up from the floor?
I was surprised that the Mini did not come with a storage bag.
- Do not use while plugged in. Plug it in only for charging, and do not leave it plugged in for more than 4 hours.
- Use only water-based lubricant.
- Use for no more than 20 minutes to prevent overheating. (Don’t worry, you won’t need 20 minutes!)
- Clean the head carefully after use without submerging in water. It’s not waterproof.
- For external use only.
Thank you, Betty’s Toy Box, for sending me the Magic Wand Mini Cordless Rechargeable Vibrator in return for an honest review.
For 10% off your purchase, use coupon code JOAN10
Favorite Sex Toys for Seniors: Gift Guide for Our Lovers and Ourselves
Lucky me, many sex toys cross my path and vie for my reviews from a senior perspective. When I’m not working on a review (“This is work?” you ask. Actually, it is, and also wonderful), I reach for my favorites. Here are the toys that win my current “keep these charged and within reach at all times!” status. A couple have been favorites for decades. Others are new discoveries. All are recommended for our age group, because of their strength, ease of use, and high quality.
Though I can’t promise that you’ll have the same experience I do, I find that these come pretty close to guaranteeing orgasms, even at our age. Check out my sex toy gift guide.
But first —
Tips for gift-giving a vibrator
- Make sure that you’re prioritizing the way your giftee receives pleasure, not what you think they ought to enjoy. Best way to find out? Show your lover this post and ask what they’d like best. Don’t worry about ruining the surprise. Foreknowledge is better than an embarrassing surprise of a vibrator that your giftee doesn’t want and doesn’t like. A gift certificate might be a good choice, if available from your chosen retailer.
- Absolutely do not look for a cheap knock-off to save some bucks. If you needed a power tool to get a job done, you wouldn’t buy one of unknown origin, from a shady vendor, with no warranty, with parts made of questionable material and a motor that sputters instead of gets the job done, would you? So why would you trust a lover’s intimate parts to a low-quality, short-lived, even potentially chemically toxic product?
- Buy quality, and please support the folks who care about your health, safety, and pleasure (such as the retailers I link to in the sidebar and in reviews) instead of an unknown vendor or the richest retailer in the world (you know who I mean).
- If you haven’t treated your own genitals to a special gift lately, find one for yourself as well! Not sure what you’d like? Read How to Choose a Vibrator and answer the questions.
Note that the first mention of each toy below links to my or Shamus’s review of that vibrator, so you can learn more before deciding if it’s for you. Within the original review, links go to retailers that I endorse and that are supportive of my senior sex pleasure and education, not just sales.
Joan’s Five Favorite Sex Toys for Vulva Owners
From my first one purchased in the “personal care” department of Macys to the updated rechargeable version from Good Vibrations, the Magic Wand has been my vulva’s solo sex companion for half a century. This version has a large, wipe-clean silicone head, and four speeds. Since it’s rechargeable, no cords to deal with when in use and no need for an outlet. It’s heavy and loud, but it does its one job very, very well, and it’s built to last for years. This is the one to reach for when you want super strong clitoral stimulation for an easy orgasm. (Note that it’s an external vibrator, which I have to mention because I get questions about how it fits in a vagina. It doesn’t!)
Eco is a beautiful, environment-friendly, ergonomic clitoral stimulator using “Pleasure Air Technology.” It feels like your clitoris is being gently sucked or nibbled and vibrated at the same time. This model is unusual because all its parts are recyclable. Like all the Womanizer pleasure tools, it’s powerful, and the sensations are unlike any other kind of vibrator. Everything about the Eco is special: the feel, the appearance, even the cotton bag. I recently reviewed three Womanizer models, and all three are treats for your (or your lover’s) clitoris.
Oh, Eroscillator, let me count the ways! This clitoral stimulator has been my orgasm tool of choice since long before I started writing about sex or reviewing sex toys. I’ve used it joyfully (a) solo; (b) with a partner for clitoral stimulation during intercourse; and (c) for clitoral stimulation during partner-assisted “outercourse.” Up to 3600 steady “oscillations” a minute make orgasm easy and thrilling. The Eroscillator comes with snap-on attachments so you can vary the shape of the head. My favorite is the “soft finger” (I call it the “marshmallow”) attachment, shown here. Caveat: it needs to be plugged in during use.
The Touch X is the ideal travel vibrator, whether you’re on a long trip or a hot date. Tiny enough to pack in a pocket or purse, the intensity is surprisingly strong — powerful enough for our slow-burning, senior vulvas. The innovative shape lets you choose to envelop the vulva or use the tip for pinpoint sensation. It’s small enough not to get in the way during penetrative partner sex, too. Compared to older versions of the Touch, this one is even stronger and more rumbly, with improved controls for ease of use. Rechargeable, completely waterproof.
Oh my goodness, the Kurve, a strong, rumbly vibrator designed for vaginal penetrative pleasure, is my clear winner for 2021 sex toy innovation. The dual motors create a party in your vagina of deep, throbby bass vibrations coupled with higher (but not buzzy) treble frequencies. It cuddles the G-spot with intense vibrations yet the pressure at the tip is soft and cushiony. This orgasm tool is for you if your vagina enjoys the feeling of fullness with vibrations, and 1.5 inch diameter of the biggest insertive part isn’t a problem. (I’ve talked to Hot Octopuss about the need for slimmer toys for many senior women — stay tuned!)
I asked Shamus MacDuff to choose his favorite sex toys, too. He selected two recently reviewed favorites and two all-time, never-fail favorites:
Shamus Macduff’s Four Favorite Sex Toys for Penis Owners
Ion is manufactured specifically to entertain a penis solo. My suggested instructions for your pleasure: (1) Lube the tube; (2) Lube your penis; (3) Insert Penis A in Tube B; (4) Fasten your seatbelt; (5) Find the “magic spot” in the ION tube that initiates the action on your frenulum; (6) Hang on for a ride!
JETT is purely a penis joy toy. Revel in the sensations of its variable bass and treble motors. Make music using JETT’s 10 vibration patterns. Its flexible sleeve fits over the penis and the two vibrating stainless steel balls scoot underneath. A separate battery-powered control box connects by cords. JETT is my “go-to” masturbation toy.
The versatile Volta vibrator was made with vulva owners in mind. But my partner and I find that it works wonderfully on a penis, either combined with fellatio or as a well-lubed stroker. Volta also feels marvelous on nipples or any other erogenous zone. It is our prime sex tool when my partner wants to pleasure me and is also fun for solo sex.
NŌS is a clever little device that fits on a penis and vibrates at different power levels. The vibrations will make you hard quickly and wearing it as a cock ring will help you keep your erection. Wear the the ring around the base of the penis with the open parts dropping down to provide delightful sensations to the testicles. Or place the ring just behind the ridge at the head of the penis to send thrumming vibrations to the frenulum and the sensitive ridge simultaneously. While marketed for partner play, it’s great for solo pleasure.
Want sex toy education and more choices?
Enjoy my Sex Toys for Seniors webinar
At our age, a well-chosen, well-placed vibrator can mean the difference between orgasm or no orgasm. What do vibrators do that a hand or partner can’t? How do I choose the best one(s)? What if my partner doesn’t want me to use a sex toy? Will using a vibrator decrease my sensitivity? Will I become dependent on a vibrator? Are there good sex toys for penises as well as vulvas?
Sex Toys for Seniors webinar includes:
- Joan’s criteria for evaluating sex toys
- 8 questions to help you choose your personal vibrator.
- 5 myths and facts about vibrators.
- Show-and-tell: Joan’s highly recommended sex toys for seniors.
- Links for recommended sex toys.
Although this 90-minute webinar was made in 2017, it’s as relevant today, and you’ll likely discover a new favorite (or first favorite!) orgasm tool!
Don’t forget the lube!
For sexy times when you’re not using a silicone sex toy, you can’t beat the smooth, slick feeling of überlube silicone lube. Being silicone, it won’t dry up in use, making it perfect for both penetrative and non-penetrative sex. It’s condom compatible and never sticky. The travel-friendly refillable case with insert makes a great gift for yourself or a lover. I’ve given gifts of überlube to friends who say it immediately became their favorite brand.
It’s fun to try new brands of lubricants. Lucky Bloke offers many different lubricant sample packs. Choose from silicone, water-based, or flavored. These are great for travel, personal exploration, and to tuck in an overnight bag or purse for a date that might turn special. And if you’re single or not fluid-bonded with your partner(s), Lucky Bloke specializes in condoms of all types, brands, materials, and sizes. Try a sampler pack of condoms.
For use with silicone sex toys, you’ll want to use water-based lubricant. Wicked Sensual Care has a new line called Simply that’s pH-balanced and free of glycerin, propylene glycol, parabens, and fragrance. There are several options, and I especially recommend Simply Aqua Jelle, which is a thicker and longer-lasting formulation.
For an oral sex treat, try the remarkable flavored lubricants from Wicked Sensual Care. My favorite? Mango! Try one or both of the two Teasers sampler packs — Coffee House mix and Fresh Fruit Mix — with four luscious flavors each. Just between us, these flavored lubes don’t work as lubricants as much as “flavoring” during oral sex because they’re so tasty that you’ll end up slurping up every drop. The recipient of your oral ministrations won’t mind that one bit.