Notes from the Penile Colony: Guy Talk about Vibrators by Shamus MacDuff

Note from Joan: Shamus MacDuff is the pseudonym of a 75-year-old retired university professor and author. Other than his name, he promises that everything he says about himself is true. His first guest post, “Great Sex Without Penetration: A Man’s View,” attracted so many readers and such positive response that when he offers additional posts, I quickly agree.


In the locker room at my gym, I overheard a 40-something guy complain to his buddy that his girlfriend insisted on using “a damned vibrator” that, in his view, kept “getting in the way of real sex.” I was tempted to interrupt and share a different story. I assert that more guys need to learn about the joys of sex toys, especially vibrators.

While a few vibrators are targeted specifically to provide stimulus and response to penises, a great many more kinds of sex toys exist. Most of these are designed especially (but not exclusively!) for clitorises and vaginas. It’s time to examine what these toys have to offer to penis owners, and to help guys like the fellow at my gym break out of the “penile colony” and begin to enjoy the myriad pleasures of a variety of sex toys.

For starters, most women cannot orgasm through penetrative vaginal sex alone, requiring arousal and stimulation of the clitoris. Vibrators are designed to provide exactly that stimulation, and it’s little wonder that women find them so desirable. If your partner loves her vibrator, that does not mean she doesn’t also love your touch. Rather, it indicates that she’s found the perfect combination of a partner and a vibrator to bring her to orgasm. Guys are not in competition with vibrators—they are our accomplices in giving joy and pleasure to our partners, a fact that the fellow in my gym had yet to understand. But there’s much more to this than meets the eye (or the clitoris), so let’s explore further.

It happens that vibrators work wonderfully on our male parts, too. During partner sex (of whatever form it takes), encourage your partner to apply her vibrator to your frenulum, your perineum, your nipples, or any other “turn on” spots that give you a happy buzz. A happy buzz is just what vibrators provide, often in a variety of patterns and speeds. You are sure to find several that will bring you to ecstasy more quickly than you thought possible. Once you do, you’ll then be vying with your partner for who gets “first dibs” on using the vibrator of choice. The fun and games during your partnered sex will be greatly enhanced for you both!

My partner introduced me to several delightful vibrators, and now these toys have also become a great addition to my solo sex practice. While the ones designed specifically for penises are very effective, I have found that many others, produced originally with vulvas in mind, are hugely satisfying during masturbation. Playing with vibrators almost certainly will convince you that they are our friends—true orgasm enhancement tools for guys as well as gals.

That conversation I overheard at my gym saddens me, because the speaker was clearly a prisoner of “the penile colony”—a believer that the only real sex is penis-in-vagina (PIV), with an unfortunate primary focus on his own pleasure rather than on increasing hers. Vibrators offer fun and innovative ways to break out of that unhappy mental prison, allowing us guys to recognize and experience the full panoply of delights that sex toys can provide to penises as well as clitorises. Give ‘em a try—you won’t be disappointed!

[Read other posts by Shamus MacDuff here.]

Best of 2018 Sex Toy Round-Up

So what if gift-giving celebrations have ended. It’s always a holiday when you bring new sex toys into the world of your sexual pleasure, partnered or solo. Here are my favorites of 2018, with links to the reviews so you can learn more. Happy New Year, and may you enjoy many vibrations in 2019.

Fun Factory Sex Toys: The fabulous folks at Fun Factory sent me a box of toys, and I review them all here. My three favorites: Volta, one of the most versatile and pleasurable external vibrators ever; Patchy Paul, a slim penetrative vibrator; and Cobra Libre II, a vibrator that my penis-owning reviewer loved. Notice the 10% discount code at the bottom of the review!

 

* We-Vibe Touch. The We-Vibe Touch has become my favorite travel vibrator. It’s tiny, weighs almost nothing, yet it’s powerful and versatile, and the design is so smart. See why I love to pack it in my carry-on suitcase.

 

* Le Wand Petite. Sleek and ergonomic, this lightweight wand delivers surprisingly powerful vibrations while weighing less than 8 ounces. Not the strength of a Magic Wand, but if you don’t need that intensity, it’s terrific.

* Pocket Pulse. A smaller, modified version of the Pulse “guybrator” from Hot Octopuss that my 74-year-old penis-owning reviewer likes even better than the bigger, more expensive models. We love the Pulse because an erection is not required for use or receiving full pleasure.

* Atom Plus. This vibrating cock ring from Hot Octopuss surrounds penis and scrotum and helps keep erections strong while also stimulating the perineum, that nerve-dense area between the genitals and the anus. My reviewer describes his happy experience.

* We-Vibe Discover Gift Box. The gift that keeps on giving has 10 individually boxed items from vibrators to blindfolds. Follow me as I open each box and describe its contents.

The original reviews I’ve linked to in this round-up also include links to order from retailers that I endorse who support my mission to educate about senior sex. These are retailers who care about our sexual health as well as our sexual pleasure, and they stand for our right to remain sexual beings lifelong. Please support them, because they support us.

You don’t have to stick to the newest 2018 sex toys for your trips to paradise. Do check out older sex toy reviews on this blog. (Keep scrolling down, then click “older posts” when you reach the bottom — there are 135 reviews at the time of this writing!)

For a visual tour and hands-on (not genitals-on) demos of the favorites in this photo, view my webinar, Sex Toys for Seniors. My newsletter subscribers get special prices to view my recorded 90-minute webinars, so please subscribe here so you don’t miss any news or special offers.

Fun Factory Sex Toys!

sex toys for older women

I find myself recommending these vibrators often — especially the Volta and the Cobra Libre — and I don’t want you to miss out! 

Lucky me! I own a toy box of new vibrators from Fun Factory. As the name implies and the photo illustrates, each colorful Fun Factory vibrator has something playful about it. Sex toys for older women do exist and I’m going to give you the low down.

The shape may be a dolphin, a cuttlefish, a caterpillar, a race car. You can’t help laughing as you try to describe it, and I’m sure that’s intentional. Sex is fun. Solo sex is fun. Sex with vibrators is fun.

These Fun Factory toys have much in common, so I’m doing a round-up instead of reviewing the toys individually and repeating myself. All are well-made of body-safe, medical-grade silicone and they’re waterproof for shower, tub, and pool use. Most charge via a USB magnetic charger, simple as can be, and they hold a charge for a long time. Yes, I have my favorites with unique qualities, and I’ll tell you what makes them special.

sex toys for older womenMy top favorite is the Volta. It’s delightfully versatile. The curved shape and vibrating tips (I think of them as “flippers”) can give pleasure in several ways. For example:

  • Nuzzle a clitoris by surrounding the glans (protruding tip of the clitoris) with the flippers.
  • Rest the curve of the Volta over the vulva for all-over stimulation.
  • Separate the flippers to vibrate the clitoris and the vaginal entrance simultaneously.
  • Cuddle or circle around the head of a penis.
  • Stroke the shaft of a penis with the flippers during fellatio.

The Volta is not only versatile, it’s wonderfully strong! Take your choice of 6 intensity levels, oh my, and 6 rhythm patterns. It’s rumbly rather than buzzy, which I appreciate.

sex toys for older womenMy second favorite is Patchy Paul (explain that name to me, please), caterpillar shaped including two eyes.* The shape makes it perfect for G-spot penetration, or clitoral pinpointing, or curving over the vulva.

I find most Fun Factory penetrative toys too girthy for pleasure, but Patchy Paul starts narrow  — 1.1 inch diameter at the tip — and gradually increases in girth, bloop by bloop, to 1.7 inches in diameter. Unless you like really deep penetration, that widest bloop won’t matter. It’s also fairly flexible, making it even more comfortable. Like the Volta, you get 6 intensities and 6 rhythm patterns.

Patchy Paul’s fake eyes

* A fun fact for you: Many caterpillars have fake eye spots so that predators think they’re snakes. Patchy Paul has fake eye spots to make us laugh.

caterpillar with fake eyes

Both Volta and Patchy Paul have ergonomic loop handles — no wrist twisting (great for older wrists!) required, and no problem with lubed fingers. Besides solo use, the long shape and tapered ends make them work between bodies to add clitoral stimulation during partnered penetrative sex.

You can’t choose between them? If you like simultaneous clitoral stimulation and vaginal penetration and you can budget for both, double your pleasure by using Volta on the clitoris and Patchy Paul vaginally. Wowza. Of course you can do that with any two sex toys that fit your needs — I’m not saying you have to buy two new products for this experience. But Volta and Patchy Paul work especially well as a team, thanks to the shapes — they don’t get in the way of each other.

sex toys for older womenIf you prefer a smaller vibrator and you don’t need the turbo power I prefer, the adorable Cayona (sorry, no longer available) or Diva Dolphin might be just right for you.

The shape of Cayona is designed for both penetration and clitoral stimulation via the bump, but the dimensions weren’t right for me (we’re all different), plus the penetrative part felt too thick, and the vibrations were buzzier than my personal preference. Sure love the color, though!

Size comparison
Cayona & Patchy Paul

The Diva Dolphin was more comfortable for insertion, tapering gradually. It can take batteries (no charging necessary), or if you prefer rechargeable, upgrade with Fun Factory’s hybrid kit. It has 4 speeds and 6 patterns. A good product, but I was spoiled by the Volta.

sex toys for older womenCobra Libre II is a popular penis vibrator. It’s designed to envelop and vibrate the head of the penis, the most sensitive area for most penis owners. Experiment with how you like to hold it and use it. MacDuff, my penis-owning reviewer, tells me:

“I used lube on just my penis at first and although it felt good, it didn’t get me to orgasm. The next time, I added a generous amount of lube inside the Cobra Libre, and woo! That made it possible to slightly thrust in and out, all the while being stimulated by vibrations. I discovered that for me, the toy works best held in what seems like an upside down position, as that better follows the upward curve of my erection. Whee! Full orgasm. Knocked me out.”

Anything to criticize about Fun Factory sex toys? Only that they come without pouches. Sturdy boxes, yes, but who has room to store boxes? Dear Fun Factory, couldn’t you include one of your sweet Tyvek zipped toybags?

Always use water-based lubricant with Fun Factory products. They can be damaged by oils and creams, so be careful with other substances on your body such as sunscreen, Fun Factory warns.

Thank you, Fun Factory, for sending me these joyous sex toys in return for an honest review. Take a look at all their products — you’ll smile at the shapes and colors, and I’m sure you’ll find one that’s just right for you. And don’t forget to use your discount code.

See my past reviews of other Fun Factory favorites:

 

Volta and Patchy Paul repose after fun in the shower

 

Atom Plus by Hot Octopuss: innovative cock ring

REVIEW OF ATOM PLUS

by

Shamus MacDuff

Atom Plus by Hot Octopuss is an innovative new cock ring that engages the scrotum as well as the penis. Wearing it requires some practice, some effort, and plenty of lube, but once in place the end result is extremely pleasant.

What sets Atom Plus apart from other cock rings is its direct stimulation of the perineum as well as the penile shaft, creating powerful sensations and more intense orgasms.

The perineum is the nerve-dense area between the genitals and the anus that in most people is highly sensitive. For men it sits above the prostate gland—the proverbial “P-spot”—and excitation of the perineum often produces wonderful prostate sensations without anal penetration.

The diagram below from Hot Octopuss makes it appear easy to drop one’s balls through the opening, rotate the device 90 degrees, and then slide the soft penis through to reach “operating position.”

 

 

However, I found that it took considerable work at first to stretch the Atom Plus’s opening sufficiently to get both of my testicles through. After manual stretching alone proved insufficient, I hooked Atom Plus up to a fixed vise handle in my workshop and pulled very strongly against it. That workshop action stretched the opening enough so the “getting-it-on mission” eventually was accomplished, with copious application of water-based lube to my balls and to Atom Plus itself. The more I have used Atom Plus, the easier it has become to get everything in position.

Given its name, I hesitate to use the word “explosive,” but my masturbation with Atom Plus has led to explosive orgasms. The power of these is a combination of perineal and penile stimulation, which Atom Plus accentuates beautifully. These forays are even more dynamic with simultaneous use of Hot Octopuss’s Pocket Pulse. What distinguishes these orgasms from those achieved using either Cobra Libre or the Pocket Pulse alone is the intense excitation of my perineum and “P-spot” as well as the penile shaft.

 

controls may be slippery

Atom Plus has five different settings, and you’re sure to find one or more that flicks your bic. For me, the second and third settings are dynamite. The second setting gets my penis erect almost instantly with its steady pulsations, while the third setting brings me into P-spot heaven. Try ‘em, you’ll like ‘em!

Although it has two separate motors the Atom Plus is remarkably quiet, emitting only soft, gentle sounds. It is made of silicone and is totally waterproof, so it can be used in the shower and is easy to clean. It charges quickly and holds a charge for a long time. However, the barely raised control buttons are not highly responsive to touch with lubed fingers, and one has to feel around a bit before being able to change settings.

 My female partner and I experimented with Atom Plus in missionary position PIV (penis-in-vagina) sex, but she did not love it. Aligning the small nub on the front of Atom Plus with her clitoris was difficult, and by her report, my gentle thrusting felt like a battering ram because of the hard surface of the Atom Plus.

We tried several different insertion styles (gentle circular motions; partial penis insertion without Atom Plus directly contacting her; extremely slow in-and-out action) but none of these delighted her. She said that she did feel the vibrations produced by Atom Plus, however, and we giggled over her “vibrating vagina.”

While some may find it nice for PIV, Atom Plus works best for me for solo sex, and for that it is a wonderful addition, a definite delight, and highly recommended!

Shamus MacDuff, age 74, was oblivious to the delights of sex toys for penises until about a year ago. He’s making up for lost time! Read his other posts here.

 

Hot Octopuss meets Hot Squid