Posts by Joan Price
Pulse Solo Essential Dragon Eye review by Shamus MacDuff
The Pulse by Hot Octopuss is the trailblazer for top quality penis vibrators that can be used with or without an erection.
Its central “cradle” is cleverly designed to enwrap and arouse your penis. The strategically located, coin-shaped oscillating plate moves through various speeds and patterns to stimulate your frenulum, the most sensitive part of your penis. This excites nerves and brings you to a delightful orgasm. Pulse works with even the most flaccid penis.
Now there’s a new model: the shimmering blue Pulse Solo Essential Dragon Eye. It’s gorgeous to look at, and even better to experience!
Hot Octopuss pioneered penis vibrators with the original Pulse 10 years ago. Over the past decade they’ve added new models and refinements to their original “guybrator,” such as the Pulse Solo Lux and Pocket Pulse (no longer available, sorry), which I reviewed. Now, celebrating 10 years and over 2 million sold, they’ve introduced the beautiful blue Pulse Solo Essential Dragon Eye to their stable. All Pulses are fully waterproof, made of medically safe silicone, and can be enjoyed with or without lube (use water-based only).
The word essential in the name of this new Pulse model is especially relevant for us senior penis owners. The Dragon Eye has all the essentials to produce penis pleasure regardless of whether you can obtain or sustain an erection. You don’t need to have an erection to reach orgasm using this beauty. Yes, a flaccid penis is capable of orgasm. The Pulse Solo Essential is the right tool for your tool!
Controls are easy: a button on one side turns it on and off and cycles through patterns. The “+” and “-” buttons on the other side control the speed and intensity. A charger is included. And it’s waterproof!
I use my Dragon Eye primarily to masturbate solo. Slowly revving it up to top speed brings me to an erection. I then have fun alternating among the toy’s five patterns, and practicing edging for a while, before finally ejaculating. As a recent experiment, my partner manipulated the toy on my lubed member while I reclined in mounting ecstasy. Although Dragon Eye isn’t specifically designed for partner play, this caper produced a wonderful orgasm. My partner said she found my pleasure both delightful and arousing!
The symbol of a Dragon Eye is unusual and has several possible referents. The one that appears most appropriate as a name for this sexual pleasure enhancer is its spiritual meaning: the balance of love, power and wisdom. You’ll be wise to purchase a Dragon Eye Pulse Solo Essential, and you’re sure to love the power it gives you!
The Dragon Eye is a limited edition, so buy yours now while it’s available! Thank you, Hot Octopuss, for sending me the Dragon Eye in return for an honest review.
—Shamus MacDuff, age 80, was oblivious to the delights of sex toys for penises until about 6 years ago. He’s been making up for lost time! Read his other posts at https://joanprice.com/tag/shamus-macduff.
Saying “No” with Class: Rejections I’ve Liked
1/16/2023 update: One of my ongoing tasks is culling my 17+ years (!) of blog posts. Working backwards from 2005, I’m working on deleting those that are outdated, no longer interesting or useful, reviews of sex toys that no longer exist or from companies I no longer endorse, and so on.
Occasionally, though, I hit upon a topic that is as relevant now as when I wrote it, such as this one from 2011. If you’ve been rejected by a date or potential date — or done the rejecting — in a way that’s kind and respectful, please share in the comments.
Originally published January 2011:
My dabbling in online dating continues to be interesting, often funny, sometimes frustrating when the dating sites seem to ignore my criteria when announcing with great fanfare that they’ve found a match for me.
I’m going into this to expand my social life and meet good men who might become friends, or provide an hour of interesting conversation, or stimulate me to pursue a deeper relationship — or just remind me why I enjoy my single life. I’m not earnestly seeking a soul mate or looking to get married. This gives me the advantage of being able to take this whole process lightly, and my day is not ruined by a rejection or by the paucity of applause-inducing matches.
Sometimes I read a profile that leaves me saying, “Wow! I’d like to know this person!” and I send an e-note expressing why his profile interested me. Occasionally my interest is returned, but that’s rare (I’m not sure why). Usually I’m ignored. I really like it, though, when the recipient of my interest sends me a polite “No, thank you.”
To encourage you to do this, here are some of the nice ways I’ve been turned down:
- Thanks for the note and kind comments. My age range is general, like any sensible man would say, but it can be a factor. Equally, if not more, important, is the geographic range. While I know that your city is not on the other side of the moon [comment from Joan: we live about 40 mi. apart], it is too far for me at this point of this odd online dating process. I have tried the long distance relationship a few times, and each time, it proved too much the struggle. So, thanks for reaching out, and I wish you the best.
-
I am so honored that you would send me an email. You look and sound like a delightful woman, and I enjoyed reading your profile. However, as flattered as I am by your contact, it’s my strong hunch that we’re really not a match. So, let me send you my best wishes for meeting your match.
- Actually, I am looking for a soul-mate. Dating and friendship is fine, but I would like to “go all the way” as it were. About four years ago, I dated a woman who had lost her husband and I thought we were a pretty good fit, but she loved her husband very much and had no room for me. You seem like a smart and interesting person, and I could be making a mistake, but somehow I feel that we aren’t a good fit either. You may be right in looking for a widower. Thanks for writing me.
- Thank you for the contact and the nice words. I am in a process of transition, learning to listen to myself and find out what I am looking for at this juncture in my life. You seem like a beautiful and interesting person. However at this point I don’t feel that we would be a good match for dating. I send my heartfelt wishes to you to find the person and love that you seek and deserve.
Readers: Have you received “no, thank you” notes that made you smile instead of cringe? Have you sent any you’d like to share? Please comment.
How Do You End A Relationship?
I wrote this post 6 years ago, in 2016. I’d like to submit this question again, hoping to ignite a discussion. Please post your comments, and include your age. Thanks!
If you’re dating (or trying to date), I’d like your input:
Let’s say you met someone, either through online dating or some other way. It seemed to have potential as you started to spend time together and get to know each other, but soon you realized it wasn’t going to work out.
Which of these do you do?
- Say something like “I’m sorry, but I don’t see us as a match,” with a kind explanation.
- Say something like “I’m sorry, but I don’t see us as a match,” but with no explanation.
- Give an explanation that you know will hurt, but will definitely end things.
- Give the true reason you want to end it.
- Make up an excuse, e.g. decided to get back with an ex, or not ready to date again, or …?
- “Ghost” or “fade away”: you say nothing but don’t get in touch or respond when the other person contacts you.
- Other? (Please explain.)
Now switch roles:
If you’ve been on the receiving end of any of the above, which one(s) left you feeling okay? Awful? If rejection has to happen, how do you want to be rejected?
Do your answers change in any way if you and this new person have been sexual?
Please comment, and although you don’t need to give your real name (please choose something other than “Anonymous”), please include your real age. I’d like to contrast the views of our over-50, -60, -70 age group with those younger.
I look forward to your comments!
2022 update:
Do you need some help navigating the dating scene as a senior? View my webinar, “How the Heck Do I Date at This Age?”
“How the Heck Do I Date at This Age?” a 90-minute webinar by Joan Price
I’m also happy to bring this interactive workshop to your group as a live virtual presentation. Contact me!
“He Wants Me Naked When I Fling the Front Door Open” – Roz Warren reviews Ageless Erotica
7/19/21 update. I just replenished my supply of Ageless Erotica — I had sold out yet again! — and thought you would enjoy this hilarious review by humorist Roz Warren from March 2013. Yes, Ageless Erotica is still available, from my website (autographed and shipped immediately!) or Amazon, or you can ask your local bookseller to order it. It makes a great gift for yourself or another sexy senior. — Joan
“He Wants Me Naked When I Fling the Front Door Open”
– Roz Warren reviews Ageless Erotica
If you want a glimpse into the erotic imaginations of sex writers who’ve been around the block a few times, pick up a copy of Ageless Erotica, a new collection of sex writing by, for, and about seniors.
Joan Price is on a mission to “talk out loud about senior sex.” She gives lectures. She holds workshops. And she writes books. Better than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty was followed by Naked At Our Age: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex. And now there’s Ageless Erotica, described as a “steamy assortment of erotic stories and memoir essays written for a mature audience.”
The book collects tales of seniors from all walks of life, gay and straight, vanilla and kinky, taking their clothes off and having a good time. I’ve never found erotica a turn-on, but I still got a kick out of reading it. I even learned a few things. (Masturbation clubs for women? Who knew?)
The stories in Ageless Erotica are a fascinating mix of the sensual, the medical and the humorous. The writing itself is all over the place. Laughingly abysmal. Unabashedly smutty. And, often, oddly moving.
Here’s a sampling of my favorite lines:
- “My yoni was a ravenous hollow.”
- “In a flash, he was butt-naked except for his socks.”
- “I came in places I didn’t know I had.”
- “My first blue cock. Would anything else on earth ever feel so good?”
- “I played his instrument with my mouth as if it were a flute.”
- “You are amazingly well constructed,” he said. “There’s evidence of too much sun on exposed areas, leaving a coarseness to the skin, but,” he added, stroking my ass, “the hidden parts are the silkiest I’ve ever felt.”
- “Lifting her breasts away from her chest, he kissed his way down, until he found her sparse, gray pubic hair.”
- “A lifetime of hard work let me afford trendy cashmere sweaters.”
- “You have such beautiful, manly nipples, sweetheart.”
- “I skipped teasing him with the knitted glove and went straight to the surgical one — in my actual size.”
- “Filthy incoherence is always a positive sign at that point in our lovemaking.”
- “He wants me naked when I fling the front door open.”
- “It’s my boyish charm, as I’m told, that hangs around, unlike my hair.”
- “I’ve included the inevitable butt plug.”
- “A heavy date requires a slow day beforehand and a preparatory nap.”
- “Off to the bedroom?” I asked with a wink.
- “I clutch the sheets and yell, ‘Fuck, oh fuck, yes, yes, yes, do me, oh do me, thank you Sir, oh fuck, fuck, yes, yes, yes!’”
- “We were naked before we even washed our vibrators.”
- “I couldn’t remember if I had shaved the gray hairs from my lollipop just in case it was going to get licked.”
- “Barry took my legs and spread them like a wishbone.”
- “Tom Maynard, you’re as hard as a prize salami!”
- “You can thank my hormone supplements. They do wonders for this kind of thing.”
- “His first question when we met was, ‘Do you know how to gut a deer?’”
- “He says, ‘I’m prepared,’ code for the Levitra pill he took a half hour ago.”
- “My heart resumed a normal rhythm, all fears of another infarction vanished.”
- “His tongue slid around my clit, which I’ve named Ethel, and over it, and too soon, I flooded with warmth.”
Intrigued? You can find Ageless Erotica on Joan’s website or at your local indy bookstore. If it’s not in stock, just give the salesperson a lascivious wink and ask him to order it for you. And Ethel.
 |
| Roz Warren |
Roz Warren writes for The New York Times and The Funny Times. Her work
also appears in Good Housekeeping, The Christian Science Monitor and The
Philadelphia Inquirer. Visit her website.
This review (c) Roz Warren first appeared at HumorTimes.com on March 30, 2013. It is reprinted here with Ms. Warren’s permission.
