Posts by Joan Price
The Vagina Bible by Jen Gunter: book review
The Vagina Bible: The Vulva and the Vagina—separating the Myth from the Medicine by gynecologist Jennifer Gunter is a lively, educational guide separating information from misinformation, presented in a clear, smart, sassy style.
“There’s a lot of money in vaginal shame,” writes Jen Gunter. She is known as the clever and outspoken OB/GYN on Twitter (@DrJenGunter—follow her!) who challenges celebrities and companies trying to sell us unneeded (and sometimes harmful) solutions for invented problems. She rips their claims and substitutes solid facts. All of this book is educational, revealing, and empowering. Examples:
- “[T]he other problem with doctors not asking about sex is women who have medical conditions that interfere with their sex life, typically conditions that cause pain with sex, end up minimized. Many women suffer for years not realizing they have a medical problem that has a diagnosis and treatment.”
- “It is hard to overestimate the damage done by Sigmund Freud in popularizing the myth of the vaginal orgasm. Only one third of women are capable of achieving orgasm with penile penetration alone…so the idea that everyone should be having orgasms this way results in two thirds of women believing there is something wrong with their sexual wiring when really they are perfect. Not orgasming with unassisted penile penetration is not a flaw, it’s a feature.”
- “MRI studies looking at anatomy during heterosexual sex reveal that the clitoris can be compressed by the penis, which is why some women can orgasm with penile penetration.”
- “Vulvar cleansing has never been studied. That is interesting, considering the array of products that claim to be gynecologist tested or approved…Some of these washes make claims they can reduce bacterial vaginosis (BV). They can’t. An external wash cannot possibly impact the inside of the vagina, and washing internally with one of these products (some women do that—please don’t) could definitely increase your risk of BV by killing good bacteria or irritating the vaginal mucosa.”
Parts of The Vagina Bible are so hilarious that you’ll want—as I did—to read them aloud to a companion:
- “Almost every woman has been told at least once…to wear white cotton underwear as a medical recommendation to prevent yeast infections and other vaginal mayhem. This makes it sound as if vaginas and vulvas are accidents waiting to happen. The vulva can handle urine, feces, and blood, and vaginas can handle blood, ejaculate, and a baby, so this idea that a black lace thong is the harbinger to a vaginal or vulvar apocalypse is absurd.”
- “I have read about plastic surgeons who do labiaplasty [surgical reduction of the labia minora] so women can look ‘sleeker in so-called athleisure wear.’ I know some people call this look ‘camel toe,’ but I prefer ‘labial cleavage,’ and the answer is not surgery—it is better-fitting athletic wear.”
- “I’ve stared at more male butt cracks (gluteal clefts) than I care to remember…What I never hear is that men should seek out plastic surgeons to get their gluteal clefts sewn shut. I also can’t imagine a similar industry for men that profits from surgically trimming penises so they look better in tight jeans.”
The second half of this book is a serious, comprehensive, scientific resource about infections, conditions, symptoms, and treatments. Dr. Gunter has been treating vulvar and vaginal diseases for nearly 30 years. If you have discomfort, pain, or other symptoms that might be a medical issue, read the relevant chapters of this book, then, armed with this information, take it to your doctor.
This guidebook to the care and functioning of the vulva and vagina by cheeky gynecologist Jen Gunter should be on your bookshelf. Thank you, Dr. Gunter, for this much-needed resource: The Vagina Bible.
Let Freedom Ring: The Joy and Novelty of No-Risk, Anonymous Sex by Lynn Brown Rosenberg
Lynn Brown Rosenberg, age 76, writes about a safe way to have anonymous sex with strangers — in online chat rooms:
I had gone 12 years without sex, and I didn’t want to live that way anymore.
I changed psychological medications and that made a difference right away. But I also realized I had been repressed sexually for decades. That began to crystallize when I told my urologist I hadn’t had an orgasm in many years. She suggested I get some porn and a vibrator. I did exactly that!
Although reluctant at first to discuss my sex life, or the lack thereof, with my therapist, I began to relax after he reassured me, “Don’t worry, I’ve heard it all.” I learned from him about porn you can watch in the Internet.
I watched some pretty interesting stuff and became especially intrigued with one video where the woman talked to the man, telling him what she was going to do to him and asking him if he liked it. She stroked him as she talked, and this was all he needed have an explosive orgasm. This aroused me — it was sexy, safe, and the kind of part-way point I needed to get back to sex.
During another session, I told my doctor I missed having no one in my life to talk to about my sexual desires. He told me about sex chat websites like BeNaughty.com and Flirthut.com. What?! There was no way I was going to talk sex with strangers. And besides, what in the world would I say?
And then I remembered the woman who talked and brought the man to ecstasy. I went back to that video and wrote down word-for-word what she said. Having the words pushed aside my unease. Sure, I was nervous, but willing to give it a try.
There’s not a lot of chit chat on these sex chat sites. The goal is arousing each other to orgasm. After introducing yourselves, you get right into it.
“Are you horny?” I asked.
“Yes.”
The conversation that followed was raw. Graphic. Forbidden. Exciting. I was on an exhilarating ride. After escalating the dirty talk, he came hard, and thanked me profusely. Should I be thanked for such a thing?
Through this and future chats, I felt my sexuality was validated. In fact, I wanted to explore the dynamics of my sexuality even further. How far could I take this? How far was I willing to take this?
Sometimes I wasn’t the only one fantasizing. I titled this “Ben’s Fantasy” in my book. An instant message (IM) from a fellow I had chatted with made me light up. His message read: “I was fantasizing about you today.”
“Really?” I wrote. “What was your fantasy?”
“I was daydreaming that you invited me back to your apartment. You offered me a glass of wine. After we had some wine, you led me to your bed. We began to kiss and you unzipped my jeans.”
I pictured him in low-riders, shirt off, revealing a sculpted chest.
“Go on.”
He described an entire fantasy scenario, while I just listened and encouraged him with words like “And then?”
Afterwards, he told me, “Since you gave me pleasure, I’d like to give you some.” But what he had in mind was meeting in person for sex, and that set off brightly flashing warning lights. “I don’t think so,” I told him.
“Why not?” he asked.
I explained my reservations, that it seemed unseemly, which didn’t make all that much sense since I was having an erotic chat with him, a virtual stranger. But that’s how I felt at the time. And I’d have to confess my real age, not an insignificant detail. I was a lot older than I had represented. I figured since I would never meet any of the men, what difference did it make?
You don’t have to use your real name on these chats, or you can use your first name only. You can have steamy, no-holds-barred naughty chats with a variety of people. To be assured of your safety, I recommend not meeting anyone in person. I confess I broke my own rules a couple of times, but that’s still my recommendation. If you want the joy and novelty of anonymous sex without risk, keep your chats to the net.
I looked at internet sex as a “filler fantasy” until I found the real thing. It was exhilarating and fun. And it allows you sexual joy on your terms.
—
Lynn Brown Rosenberg
is the author of a memoir, My Sexual Awakening at 70. She has written articles for SALON, The Sunday Times of London, the Los Angeles Jewish Journal, and others. She will be reading excerpts from her memoir at Barnes & Noble, 6326 E. Pacific Coast Highway, Long Beach 90803, on Sunday, August 18, 2019, 12:00 noon.
Review of DiGiT by Hot Octopuss
“Show Bad Sex the Finger!” Hot Octopuss exclaims. Yes, there’s a new Hot Octopuss vibe in town, the DiGiT vibrator that you wear on your finger. This delightful vibrator is designed especially for clitoral stimulation during partnered sex, or solo, or both. It’s also a delight for penis teasing, nipple stimulation of any gender, and arousing any body part that likes a small, smooth, vibrating finger extension. It’s tiny and light enough to be a travel companion.
DiGiT is made to be worn under a finger, attached by a main finger loop and another curvy finger holder. The diagram on the website indicates that the main loop should 
be worn around the middle finger of a larger hand or around the index finger of a smaller hand. My experience was different. I have tiny hands, and I found it awkward to control with my index finger. It was much easier, defter, and more comfortable on my middle finger, with the curvy part on my fourth finger. Experiment — there’s no wrong way to use it.
worn index finger
worn middle finger
smooth underside
The vibrations are rumbly, which I prefer, rather than buzzy, which I usually find in a vibrator this small. The design is sleek and modern, and although the DiGiT wouldn’t be mistaken for jewelry, it also doesn’t scream “SEX TOY!” Use water-based lubricant for a smooth feel.
I almost titled this review “Lube on My Glasses.” Here’s why. DiGiT has indented ovals on the side to press to increase or decrease intensity. But there’s no way to tell by touch which indented oval increases power and which lowers intensity! You can’t tell by feel — the two ovals are exactly the same. You can’t even tell by putting on your reading glasses (hence the lube on my glasses) and peering. Again, the two ovals are identical. Come on, Hot Octopuss, you could have given the “up” and “down” a different texture, a different shape, a different size, or at least a raised “+” and “-” as most vibrators do! As it is, you’ll need to memorize that “stronger” is the oval farthest away from your hand. (Or is it the other way around? Kidding — I’ve memorized it by now.)
charging hole
Recharging is easy-peasy. Push the charger (included) pointer into the hole, plus the other end into a USB port, and you’re set.
All in all, I think the DiGiT is a fine addition to Hot Octopuss’s innovative collection of orgasm tools, especially for travel. It’s tiny, weighs nothing, yet delivers a lot of power. Please check it out! Thank you, Hot Octopuss, for sending me the DiGiT in return for an honest review.
2018-2019 Favorite Sex Toys for Seniors
Are you looking toys for senior sex? Do you want to spice things up in the bedroom?
In May 2017, I presented a lively 90-minute webinar, Sex Toys for Seniors, which includes a show-and-tell of about 20 favorite vibrators and other sex toys. I introduced you to the Magic Wand, the Eroscillator, and many well-known and lesser-known (but fabulous!) orgasm-inducers.
Viewing rights to the recording are still available, and I hope you’ll watch it. Since then, I’ve had the delight of reviewing a few more stellar sex toys that would have been included in this webinar if I had enjoyed them sooner.
For your pleasure, here is a round-up of sex toy favorites that have crossed my path (and other places) recently. Shamus MacDuff, my penis-owning reviewer, has also added his favorites. Click on each product name to read our original reviews. These include links to retailers that I personally endorse because they care about our sexual pleasure, education, and health, and they celebrate my message that sexual pleasure is ours lifelong.
Best for Versatility
Volta from Fun Factory is delightfully versatile, powerful, and ergonomic. The curved shape and vibrating tips (I think of them as “flippers”) can give pleasure to all varieties of genitals in many ways:
- Nuzzle a clitoris by surrounding the glans (protruding tip of the clitoris) with the flippers.
- Rest the curve of the Volta over the vulva for all-over stimulation.
- Separate the flippers to vibrate the clitoris and the vaginal entrance simultaneously.
- Cuddle or circle around the head of a penis.
- Stroke the shaft of a penis with the flippers during fellatio.
From Shamus MacDuff:
My favorite toy for partner sex enhancement is Volta (a.k.a. “Flipper,” or “The Cuttlefish with Attitude”). Not only does my woman friend find it pleasurable when applied to her clitoris, but I also enjoy its “kisses” when she buzzes it against my frenulum, penile shaft, and scrotum while thrilling me with her skillful fellatio.
Best for Penises
JETT from Hot Octopuss gets the vote from 75-year-old Shamus MacDuff. He loves the way he can adjust the “dual engines” (independently controlled treble and bass vibrations). As he puts it, “JETT has an expandable, circular silicone sleeve positioned directly above the dual jet engines into which you place your penis — flaccid or erect. The sleeve surrounds the frenulum on one side and the ridge atop the penile head on the other. When JETT revs up, the sensations are multiple and magnificent. The real fun with this toy comes (pun intended) in locating precisely the right treble and bass frequencies, paired with one of the 10 vibration patterns, that launches you into the JETT stream.”
From Shamus MacDuff:
I especially love JETT for solo sex because it’s easy to load my penis into it, flaccid or erect; the accessible controls make it simple to turn on and off and to change settings; and the wide variety of settings, coupled with adjustable, bass and treble intensities, allow me to dial up a perfect combination of sensations to match my particular mood or arousal level.
Best for Traveling with a Vulva
We-Vibe Touch. The We-Vibe Touch has become my favorite travel vibrator. It’s tiny, weighs almost nothing, yet it’s powerful and versatile, and the design is so smart. It’s curved to cover much of the vulva for all-over stimulation, or press the cupped area over the clitoris, or point the tip wherever you want it, or combine any or all of these.
The Touch is fabulous to use on the clitoris during partner sex as well as solo, because it doesn’t get in the way of two joined bodies. If you enjoy penetrative sex and need extra clitoral stimulation for your journey towards orgasm, this makes it easy and sweet. Add it for extra clitoral stimulation whatever kind of sex you might be enjoying — penetrative or not.
Although designed for vulva /clitoral stimulation, it’s also enjoyed by penises and nipples of any gender. See why I love to pack it in my carry-on suitcase?
Best for Traveling with a Penis
Pocket Pulse. We love all the Pulse models from Hot Octopuss because an erection is not required for use or receiving full pleasure. Just place
your penis of choice — hard, flaccid, or in between — in the Pulse, turn it on, and feel the results. The Pocket Pulse is a smaller, modified version, and Shamus MacDuff likes it even better than the bigger, more expensive models. The Pocket Pulse is an ideal travel companion for your penis.
Don’t forget about lube!
All these orgasm-inducing products are made of silicone, which require water-based lubricant. I’ve been enjoying the water-based lubes from Wicked Sensual Care. We all have different needs and preferences, but my personal favorite Wicked water-based lube is Aqua Chill which resists body heat for a lovely sensation. If you’ve been frustrated during extended solo sessions with your vibrator because your lube dries out before you’re done, Wicked’s Toy Love is a thick and long-lasting gel, and it doesn’t dribble off your toys.