Notes from the Penile Colony: Guy Talk about Vibrators by Shamus MacDuff

Note from Joan: Shamus MacDuff is the pseudonym of a 75-year-old retired university professor and author. Other than his name, he promises that everything he says about himself is true. His first guest post, “Great Sex Without Penetration: A Man’s View,” attracted so many readers and such positive response that when he offers additional posts, I quickly agree.

In the locker room at my gym, I overheard a 40-something guy complain to his buddy that his girlfriend insisted on using “a damned vibrator” that, in his view, kept “getting in the way of real sex.” I was tempted to interrupt and share a different story. I assert that more guys need to learn about the joys of sex toys, especially vibrators.

While a few vibrators are targeted specifically to provide stimulus and response to penises, a great many more kinds of sex toys exist. Most of these are designed especially (but not exclusively!) for clitorises and vaginas. It’s time to examine what these toys have to offer to penis owners, and to help guys like the fellow at my gym break out of the “penile colony” and begin to enjoy the myriad pleasures of a variety of sex toys.

For starters, most women cannot orgasm through penetrative vaginal sex alone, requiring arousal and stimulation of the clitoris. Vibrators are designed to provide exactly that stimulation, and it’s little wonder that women find them so desirable. If your partner loves her vibrator, that does not mean she doesn’t also love your touch. Rather, it indicates that she’s found the perfect combination of a partner and a vibrator to bring her to orgasm. Guys are not in competition with vibrators—they are our accomplices in giving joy and pleasure to our partners, a fact that the fellow in my gym had yet to understand. But there’s much more to this than meets the eye (or the clitoris), so let’s explore further.

It happens that vibrators work wonderfully on our male parts, too. During partner sex (of whatever form it takes), encourage your partner to apply her vibrator to your frenulum, your perineum, your nipples, or any other “turn on” spots that give you a happy buzz. A happy buzz is just what vibrators provide, often in a variety of patterns and speeds. You are sure to find several that will bring you to ecstasy more quickly than you thought possible. Once you do, you’ll then be vying with your partner for who gets “first dibs” on using the vibrator of choice. The fun and games during your partnered sex will be greatly enhanced for you both!

My partner introduced me to several delightful vibrators, and now these toys have also become a great addition to my solo sex practice. While the ones designed specifically for penises are very effective, I have found that many others, produced originally with vulvas in mind, are hugely satisfying during masturbation. Playing with vibrators almost certainly will convince you that they are our friends—true orgasm enhancement tools for guys as well as gals.

That conversation I overheard at my gym saddens me, because the speaker was clearly a prisoner of “the penile colony”—a believer that the only real sex is penis-in-vagina (PIV), with an unfortunate primary focus on his own pleasure rather than on increasing hers. Vibrators offer fun and innovative ways to break out of that unhappy mental prison, allowing us guys to recognize and experience the full panoply of delights that sex toys can provide to penises as well as clitorises. Give ‘em a try—you won’t be disappointed!

[Read other posts by Shamus MacDuff here.]

Pocket Pulse – New Pleasure for Your Penis

If you’ve read the raves about the Pulse “guybrator,” but buying one didn’t fit your budget, this is your lucky day. The Pocket Pulse is a smaller, modified, affordable model. At the time of this writing, The Pulse III Solo oscillates and costs $119 from Hot Octopuss; the Pocket Pulse vibrates and costs $85.

But does the Pocket Pulse work as well as the bigger models? I asked Shamus MacDuff, age 74, to take it for a ride (or two or three or ten). Did he like it? Oh, yeah. Here’s what he had to say:


The Pocket PULSE

Reviewed by Shamus MacDuff

The Pocket Pulse is a keeper, and the more I use it, the more I love it.

It’s a delightful adjunct to solo masturbation, Think of it as a sex toy for penises comparable to the many sex toys for vulvas that focus on the clitoris. A tool for your tool!

I’ve tried the Pulse III solo, and believe it or not, I prefer the Pocket Pulse. Both produce plenty of vibration on the frenulum but the kind of vibration differs. I especially like that the Pocket Pulse has a vibrating “gripper” across the top that when squeezed down stimulates the ridge of the cock from above.

When I first tried it, I didn’t use any lube (my mistake!), and I think I anticipated that it would give me more of a jolt than it did. Then I added water-based lube, which greatly increased the buzz and the pleasure. (I know, I should have read the directions — “use plenty of lubricant” — but the print is minuscule and instructions seemed intuitive.) Adding lube greatly heightened the erotic feeling and led me towards a crescendo.

Pulse III + Pocket Pulse

The Pulse III worked either stroking or just holding it in place over my frenulum. The Pocket Pulse, though, requires stroking. Not a problem once I learned I needed to rub it up and down my shaft instead of holding it there. Then Waiting for Godot turned into Rushing Towards Nirvana.

The Pocket Pulse is waterproof and thus very easy to clean or enjoy in the shower. (It would be interesting to use it in the pool, but I don’t think my health club would like that.)

I enjoyed it solo, but a big turning point for me was when my sex partner stimulated me with it to an explosive and deeply satisfying orgasm. Hence it is an excellent sex toy for both solo and partnered delight. Also it holds a charge for a long time. Bravo to Hot Octopuss!

[Read other posts by Shamus MacDuff here.]

Note from Mr. MacDuff’s sex partner:

You’d think a 74-year-old man would take quite a while to reach orgasm (I’m not complaining, just observing), but not when the Pocket Pulse enters the action! Put it on (whether he’s erect or not), turn it on, squeeze for intensified contact, stroke, turn up the vibrations, match the rhythm of his thrusts, and it’s orgasm time. If your guy likes hand stimulation but you have wrist arthritis — or even if you just enjoy giving him a quickie — the Pocket Pulse may become your best friend!


See reviews on this blog of other Pulse penis vibrators: